The Underwear Incidents · 10:46pm Dec 17th, 2016
One time when I went grocery shopping at Walmart, I started to get this weird feeling like something was slipping down from my waist. It took me a minute to realize that my underwear was starting to slide down by back side, slowly but surely. Like it was meticulously plotting its revenge for all of the times I stuck it in the dryer without the cottony dryer sheet, to save money by conserving the amount I used weekly. Oh it would have its revenge for not being extra fluffy like the towels that had been blessed with the dryer sheet last week. And today was that day.
I started to panic. I waddled over to the help desk, praying that my underwear wouldn't slide all the way down on the way there. I was sweating bullets and I could feel it slipping more and more down my waistline as I scuttled over to the front of the store like a penguin carrying an egg. By some miracle I reached the help desk, caught sight of an associate and belted out, "Where's your bathroom?"
The associate gave me an odd look and pointed to the right of them. I caught sight of the bathroom down just a few rows down from the help desk. I thanked the random Walmart employee, and waddled off trying desperately to keep the underwear from slipping down. The employee stared after me with an eyebrow raised, no doubt thinking to themselves that I was poised to take a giant dump and wondering what could have possibly caused the sudden flood of diarrhea.
But it wasn't diarrhea. Oh no. It was one disgruntled pair of overworked underpants. It should have been retired long ago. It should be getting better treatment in the dryer. But it was worn, the elastic was broken, and it was going to have its revenge.
So I waddled duck-like to the bathroom, holding on to the rebellious underpants the best I could until I could reach the front entrance.
When I reached my destination, I slid inside. I spotted the nearest open stall and bolted in there. And like clockwork, right when I closed the stall door, my underwear slid the rest of the way down.
I picked up that naughty pair of undergarments and gave it stern look.
"I won't be having any of this nonsense!" I said, as I grabbed my secret weapon from my backpack.
I withdrew a safety pin and glared down at the offending panties.
"My name is Emma. You tried to embarrass me in public today. Prepare to be tied!"
I announced, as I slipped the undergarments back on, pinned them so they wouldn't slide down again, and let out a triumphant victory laugh.
I came marching out of the stall triumphantly.
A little old lady was there. She gave me an awkward look and hurried out of the bathroom as I came marching forward to wash my hands.
But I didn't care. It was a war between me and the underpants. And I had won.
And try as it might, the underwear could not slide off my rear for the rest of the day.
Fast forward many months later to today. My mom and I were out and about getting some errands done. When we came home, my mom noticed that there was a weird lump in her pant leg. She sat on the couch and reached up to see what was inside; only to find a pair of wadded up underwear.
It had been hiding their all day while she was out and about in public. A cousin to my disgruntled pair of undergarments, it too attempted its form of revenge for our questionable laundry methods.
Let this be a lesson to you all. Be smart about conserving dryer sheets. But always treat the underwear with the utmost care. Because if you don't, it will plot with all of its army of cottony minions to embarrass you in public.
Learn from our mistake. And be spared from the embarrassment.
Remember dear reader, you have been warned. So treat your underwear the best that you can.
You should write a story based on this.
4343706 It would definitely be a very interesting subject to write about.
Your pansu was court-martialed for treason. You should have seen coming that sudden but inevitable betrayal.
4343711 Who should be the unsuspecting underwear victim?
4343712 I know right? You shouldn't commit the crime if you don't want to do the time. :p
There is only one thing to say that will fit this:
4343717 I could imagine this happening to Pinkie Pie.
4343720
4343721 I am glad that it could make you smile.
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What?! First our brains, then insects, now our underwear?! Is everything now fighting to be the superior species?!
4343725
4343727 A world run by underwear would be very odd indeed. :p
That is why I wear nylon panties!
4343724
...
Ponk: The Underwear Falls
4343734 Nylon panties eh? What are those like?
4343736 That's a good one. XD
Or 'Revenge of the Panties'.
4343740 OMG That must have been so embarrassing.
4343741 They seem to stay up better for me, as long as I git the "Boy cut", the bikini style tend to roll down on me.
4343748 It did though and I very much appreciated the help. :)
4343743 THAT'S EVEN BETTER!
4343732 I wonder... would people be forced to NOT wear underwear or would they wear people...
4343749 Bikini type underwear is the worst. Its very uncomfortable. I prefer the boy type underwear as well. Or mini boxers (for girls). They are a lot better than the skimpy ones that barely have enough material to cover your butt.
4343754 Hurray!
4343762
The Great Stretch: Revenge of the Panties
Episode 1: The Fall of Undahwah City
4343755 That's a good question! I think the underwear would continue to play pranks like they currently do. :p
But the socks are just as mischievous. You have to watch them every second as well.
4343756 D'awww that is very kind of you. I am truly grateful for everything you have done. :)
4343767 That made me laugh so hard.
4343770 Considering how I'm planning a multi-chapter story about Celestia's nostrils, yeah. I'm full of stuff like this.
4343768 Fair enough. Only difference is that we wouldn't be able to stop them becasue clips of any kind would be outlawed.
The socks though... we need a 24/7 watch squad for them.
#lewd :p
4343767 ... SOMEONE PLEASE DO THIS!!!
4343760 I beg to differ.
4343788 Celestia's nostrils eh? That sounds interesting. XD
4343789 I can try. It may turn out a bit trollfic-y though.
4343789 Bikini underwear might be fun to look at, but it is not all that fun to wear.
4343795 It's a story about how Pinkie's underwear won't stay up. OF COURSE IT'S A TROLLFIC!!! It's gonna be "X does X" all over again! "Make way for the new bandwagon fic theme!!!"
4343796 Fair enough. I guess mini boxers can be cute and flattering at the same time.
4343799 The thing is, i dont want to end up writing anything mature... And I'm not sure how I'd be able to write that as a readable story without making it so. Sorry... No underwear fix from me.
4343794 yup.
4343816 Well, someone's made a fic about Vinyl forgetting to out on pants before leaving her house and it made it through with a T rating.
4343819 Ehh... Still, I made a blog earlier on about cutting back on new and updated stories so that I could focus more on the incomplete ones first.
4343823 Ah. Well, I'll keep the idea in mind in case I decide to write something less serious.
...
welp. there's my daily fapI SAID NOTHING
Oh Gods xD
That reminds me exactly of this traitorous pair of briefs I had been wearing once in high school that plotted their revenge one time ... and it was during a jog in gym class
4343831 yup.
4343851 Once my boxers started to get funny, they went into the "Time Out" space. After traitor #3, they have yet to make any such daring moves again.
4343802 Yes indeed. XD
4343817
4343841 lol
4343851 OMG That must have been so awkward.
4343900 This is very true. :)
4343881 And terrifying
4343945 It sounds like it.