• Member Since 5th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen August 2nd

LyraAlluse


I am a professional writer, artist, musician, website builder, and app developer. I have a Tip Jar for those who might be interested.

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Dec
18th
2016

That One Time I Was Framed By A Squirrel · 6:33pm Dec 18th, 2016

Today I am going to tell you a true funny story that happened one day when I took a small day trip up to the Grand Canyon.

At some point during my visit to the iconic national park, I was just chilling on a park bench when this squirrel comes up to me and starts speaking in some kind of squirrel language I suppose.

So I say, 'Oh hello little squirrel have you come to say hello?'

And that's when the squirrel let's out this evil cackle. I kid you not. This squirrel had it out for me from the beginning.

So not even ten seconds later, the said squirrel crawled up my leg and sat in my lap. Like I was some Disney princess in the woods or something.

And that's right when the park ranger walked up and gave me a disapproving stare.

'You aren't supposed to feed or provoke the wildlife, ma'am. If you can't follow the rules, I'll have to write you a ticket for a fine.'

My mouth promptly fell open.

'But I didn't feed the squirrel! It sat on ME!'

And then I kid you not that squirrel took out an acorn. I'm not even joking guys.

And the park ranger raised his eyebrow and asked, 'Oh yeah? Then where did that squirrel get that?'

And I was like, 'I don't know...a tree???'

So the ranger let out this heavy sigh like he wasn't getting paid enough to deal with this kind of shiz and he said, 'Look ma'am, just shoo off the squirrel so we can both go back to our day huh? And don't feed them in the future. This is your first warning.'

So I shooed off the squirrel and that little booger laughed as he scurried away!! No joke! That furry delinquent had this planned!!

This whole situation really had me confused. But then it occurred to me. This squirrel is like the head of the squirrel Union or something. It's the mastermind. It's trying to drive its message home so its demands get met. Granted it might not being doing a very good job. I mean just what does this squirrel and its underlings want anyway? A petting zoo? Statues erected in their honor that are worshiped at the start of every morning? Come on Mr. Squirrel, make your demands known! You're not being very clear are you?

And just in case you all think I'm exaggerating this story or something, I told this to one of my friends a few months later and guess what he said? He didn't bring up squirrels if that's what you were thinking. Minus ten points for Gryffindor. No, he told me that a falcon sat on his shoulder. A falcon?!! These animals are all working together! They are all part of the animal Union, I tell you!

They aren't going to stop until everyone gives into their demands! There will be riots in the air! There will be random squirrel photo bombs on the ground! It will be madness, complete madness until all of their needs are met! We need a falcon and squirrel interpreter in here stat! They are the masterminds! I repeat; they are the masterminds behind this all!

So what have we learned here today?

The animals at the Grand Canyon are plotting doom to all future visitors to the park until they get better wages or some kind of paid vacation to the Bahamas.

Also that squirrels are the internet trolls of the animal kingdom. They are all plotting against us for the laughs. And probably to record really bad quality prank videos they upload to the squirrel version of Vine and YouTube

Anyway, that's the story of how I got framed by a squirrel at The Grand Canyon. Watch out for those delinquent squirrels man. They have it out for you. Oh, and keep an eye out for those falcon too. They are plotting against you. It is not your imagination.

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Comments ( 43 )

4344753 That could very well be true. lol

:rainbowlaugh: oh my god funniest story i have ever heard

4344764 I am glad that it could make you smile. XD

Do not look at me, when I used to live in California, I used to pack a picnic lunch and drive out to Coloma from Sacramento and have a little picnic near Sutter's Mill, just to get away, anyway, I had a Fox come up to me and sit right before me to beg one day, I did not feed it of course, I just let it sit there while I talked to it, a few minutes later a Ranger came along, took one look at the scene and exclaimed, "How did you do that? I am taking care of the little guy and he does not go near anyone but me." So I shrugged and said: "well, I am eating a sandwich, the little guy just wants some." any way, the Ranger replied: "Nope, this fox does not go near anyone but me, no matter what."

Anyway, the Ranger left and the Fox followed him.

...

Oh my goodness gracious:facehoof::rainbowlaugh:

I KNEW IT!!! THE SQUIRRELS ARE RISING UP AGAINST US!!

4344779 That's such a cute story! I love foxes. XD

4344799 Yes they are. Don't let their cuteness fool you. They sit in their trees plotting world domination all day. <_<

4344806
:rainbowlaugh: They must be stopped! They'll start stealing the park rangers guns and going on a rampage!!

This reminds me of the time a hummingbird landed on me. I was sitting on a low tree branch, and this small hummingbird just buzzes its way over to me, just sits there at eye level with me for a few moments, and then proceeds to land on my shoulder, where it sat for several minutes before taking off and resuming it's search for flowers. It stayed in the same clearing as me for a while, and came back and landed on my knee for a few moments before leaving completely.

4344819 This is very true. The squirrel revolution is nigh. :raritycry:

4344823 That's so cool! It is neat when you can have close interactions with animals/ nature. :)

4344839 because you are a funny woman

Aren't they planning to conquer the world? :rainbowlaugh:

4344898 I am glad that you think so. XD

4344914 Yes. They are spies for the cats. Never trust those furry buggers. <_<

4344926 DOWN WITH THE SQUIRRELS

4344974 They are too cute to do anything about though, so I think they've already won. :rainbowlaugh:

434507*grabs shotgun and a couple of assault riffles* don't care, they dead them squirrels are dead, i am going full Rambo on their small furry asses

That, or you entered the Marvel Universe and you where trolled by Squirrel Girl, and your friend was being monitored by The Falcon.

Or maybe they are both the familiars of really bored sorcerers.

Or to hell with, maybe nature, and the world has it out for you.

4345174 Train them to work for you. Then they can help you take over the world instead of the cats. ;)

4345209 Those are all great theories. I don't think the world has it out for me though. I just think I tend to end up being in comical situations a lot. If anything, the universe views me as one giant pun. :p

Fluttershy needs to teach them some manners

4346553

You need to behave, right now! :flutterrage:

4347596 I could totally picture her doing that. :rainbowlaugh:

4348498 It would indeed. XD

4348506

She would whip them into obedience

4348552 She would indeed. :)

4348881 That it would. XD

4350773

Hold on, I have a video I have to show you.

4351115

Whenever Hasbro does something you don't like, remember this

4351219 OMG that cracked me up. XD

4352072

And now you have the perfect response for the next time Hasbro upsets you X3

4352705 Lol I do indeed.

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