My name is Twilight Sparkle, and 350 years ago, Sweetie Belle and I vanished without a trace.
Now here we are, in the future.
Equestria has become a utopia, with everypony living in peace and harmony.
Everything is perfect. All a pony could ever want, and more.
My name is Twilight Sparkle, and I want to go home.

Editing provided by Stereo_Sub and JustAnotherTimeLord.

Cover art courtesy of Geomancing.

Reading by lieilengi

Spanish translation by Spaniard Kiwi

Twilight Sparkle is really really bored. She tries to find a way to not be so bored. Gross rationalization of injustice ensues.

In the post-megaspell wasteland, factions of ponies vie for control of the blasted hellscape. Wars are waged, heroes and villains are born, rise to power, and fall. Legends are written and forgotten.

This is not one of those legends.

For loot, loot never changes.

Note: I regret nothing.
Note 2: Cover art by a guy who refuses to connect himself to me selling myself out
Note 3: written because Bok asked
Note 4: I like notes.

Important note: I claim all creative rights to all characters in this work and deny any and all royalties. Furthermore, resemblance of any character in this story to real life persons(especially Ron Paul), living, or dead is fully intentional and intended as a factual statement. Finally, I accept all liability for any incidents incurred while reading this fic, including, but not limited to, nausea, kuru, temporary insanity, death, and stubbed toes.

That aside, this is a collection of short fics that I've written just for the hell of it. These fics are highly experimental - expect bizarre tenses, fanon, atypical writing styles, multiple narrators and more! Don't read if your mind is allergic to screws - the topics range from the sonic rainboom as a metaphor for FlutterDash, to a second person fic starring three metaphysical entities and even normal stuff, like a prequel to "A Canterlot Wedding" (spoiler: Chrysalis disguises herself as Cadence).

I'm also accepting requests, with the goal of writing at least one prompt a day - feel free to drop suggestions in the comments. As long as it's short, interesting and MLP related, I'll give it a shot!

The fics(bold for pride):
Pressure [Light Shipping] - FlutterDash, with the relationship written as a metaphor for a sonic rainboom. A little alcohol is involved.
Chrysalis' Break - A prequel for the events in "A Canterlot Wedding", written from Chrysalis' and Cadence's points of view.
Forgiveness - Celestia has forgiven Luna, but she needs some help to forgive herself...
Equestria Noir - Twilight Sparkle tries to write a detective novel based on her own life. Too bad it's not the thirties.
Rainbow Dash and the MacGuffin [Random] - I'm so meta, even this acronym. A meta trollfic disguised as a pirate story.
How You Met My Mother [SURREAL SHIPPING] - Second person, you(as Twilight Sparkle's magic) x Pinkie Sense. The narrator is your smug son.
Author's Notes - Prompts, background, etc.
Boone In Equestria [Trollfic] - so yea i was sleep deprived and had a deadline
Ron Paul and the Elements of Tyranny [political troll satire] - It's been four years since President Obama banished Ron Paul to the moon - soon he will return to ensure that Freedom™ lasts forever! Twilight Sparkle and her friends must stop him using the Elements of Tyranny before The Fed™ is destroyed! Faced against the power of the Invisible Hand and unbound delegates, the protagonists must fight to keep the status quo! Will they succeed? Too cool for a standalone story!
MLP: REPRUCASSIONS OF EVAL - I squat 85 pounds, and everypony walks the dinosaur!