//------------------------------// // Rainbow Dash and the MacGuffin [Random] // Story: My Little Flash Fiction: Postmodernism is Magic // by aaaa_aaaa //------------------------------// Applejack and Rainbow Dash were arm wrestling on a tree stump, a fight symbolic of the conflict between the concept of ultimate volition and uncontrolled truth that exists on this Earth. Rarity walked in, her stride as controlled the most delicate seamstress, her face covered in despair as it’s mouth said, “Twilight has horn rot!” “Again?” said Rainbow, who then rolled her eyes to represent the repetitiveness of the adventure. “Yes, again,” said Rarity repetitively, her repetition highlighting the repetitiveness of the adventure as the narrator's repetitive diction further amplified the repetitiveness by excessive description and repetition. After the narrator was done spewing pretense everywhere, Rarity continued to debrief the pair, “Today’s cure for horn rot is the MacGuffin, an organ in the heart of the Loch Ness monster. You must acquire the MacGuffin through an extraordinarily long adventure in spite of the fact that we could probably just go to the hospital or use the cures we already have on hand.” “Ah sugarcube, Ah don’t think ‘at’s ah good idea, sugarcube,” said Applejack with an obnoxiously thick accent exaggerated mannerisms. “Of course it’s a good idea! My middle name is danger! Now lets get on those boats and go on a privateer adventure in ten seconds flat!” exclaimed Rainbow Dash. “I didn’t mention privateers?” asked Rarity rhetorically, to settle the reader’s rustled jimmies over the narrator’s disregard for causality by acknowledging their concern(all though if the reader is concerned by such flaws, they should have skipped to the next chapter, but looks like you're here to stay, enjoy the trip!). After a quick and unexplained scene change, the pair arrived on the deep ocean of uncertainty, on a ship that symbolized mankind’s search for knowledge in spite of the ever-expanding shore of unknowns. Suddenly, the narrator remembered that the prompt required the CMC and Zecora as pirates; and so suddenly a pirate ship suddenly appeared with the CMC, Pipsqueak and Zecora on board. A conveniently placed megaphone allowed Scootaloo to speak: “We want the MacGuffin! For too long we’ve waited for it’s delicious, lean Canadian bacon, drizzled with cheddar cheese and egg, all wrapped in a warm and toasty English muffin.” Rainbow Dash had her own megaphone, an older, yet more advanced model than Scootaloo’s symbol of youth and she replied, “But we don’t even have the MacGuffin. And you guys are looking for the McMuffin©. McMuffin© is owned by and copyright of McDonalds®, trade mark of the McDonald’s corparation.” The pirate boat suddenly disappeared, and the ship of knowledge suddenly found it’s way next to the Loch Ness monster, like how technology’s rapid advance can surprise and shock people. Rainbow Dash fought the monster, flying 20% faster than ever before and Applejack bucked it in ten seconds flat and then they got the MacGuffin. After a short and unmentioned return sequence, they are back home and they cure Twilight’s horn rot with the MacGuffin, followed by an emotionally satisfying epilogue and/or author’s note that answers all the reader’s questions, concerns and suppresses their urges to murder the author. From: EqD Prereaders To: Mail2345 Subject: Your recent fanfiction submission Attachments: wat.jpg(42MB) Body: (none)