Further Arbitration of the Ideal · 12:43pm Feb 1st, 2020
My muse has a tendency to take ideas and run with them like she's trying to win the Super Bowl. After last week's 'What your favorite ship says about you" blog, I found myself coming up with gobs of other ideas along that theme. May as well share them. My thanks to MLP Vector Club for the color coding.
Oh, and if it needs to be said, this is meant to be for fun. Jokes first, insight into the pairings somewhere around fifth. Let's begin:
Sparity: You’re always a sucker for the underdog. Especially with the Equestria Girls version of the ship.
Flutterspike: Once you choose your ship, you hold onto it like a snapping turtle with tetanus.
Spabby: You don’t decide on ships until after the series is over, just in case they throw in something unexpected at the last minute.
Gildash: Your favorite relationship dynamic is “lovers to enemies to lovers.”
Fluttercord: You think Disney’s Beauty and the Beast would be a perfect love story if they’d just cut out the Stockholm Syndrome.
Dislestia: This is the same joke as Gildash, except it’s oscillating between lovers and enemies so quickly that it’s more of a quantum superposition.
Twicord: You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of that which man was not meant to know.
Discopie: When someone asks you how many wacky shenanigans you want in a relationship, you always answer “more.”
Twilestia: You have gotten in at least one heated Internet argument over the morality of spouse husbandry.
Tuna: You have gotten in at least three heated Internet arguments over whether the Elements of Harmony count as brainwashing.
Twidance: You have gotten in at least five heated Internet arguments over whether Shining Armor needs to exist.
Twixie: You think the show peaked at “Magic Duel.”
Twistar: You like the student-teacher dynamic, but couldn’t get past the age gap with Twilestia.
Startrix: This is the same joke as Pinkiedash, but they’re both horrible people.
Starburst: This is the same joke as Flutterdash, but they’re both colossal nerds.
Trixburst: Your favorite way to resolve love triangles is to cut out the vertex.
Twiburst: You just wanted good things for Sunburst, and really, who wouldn’t?
Moonburst: You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of study buddies.
Twidancer: This is the same joke as Moonburst, but for people who prefer that their OTP spoke to one another in canon.
Scratchtavia: Assuming you were shipping this before "Slice of Life," you think people who need their ship to speak in canon are cowards.
Lyrabon: You know that real shippers make their ship canon.
Darilleron: Looking back on your childhood, you can pinpoint Raiders of the Lost Ark as the beginning of your obsession with shipping rival adventurers.
Doctorderp: You’re a Whovian who wandered into this fandom when you heard there was a pony who looked like David Tennant.
Sunsagio: You just want a woman who will step on you.
Twempest: You want a woman who can crush you between her thighs.
Yonabar: You want a woman who can crush you between any two appendages of her choice.
Smocellus: This is the same joke as Twijack, but with more bizarre alien psychology.
Galverstream: Your ideal relationship dynamic is “jaded cynic-manic pixie dream girl.”
Marblemac: You just wanted good things for Marble. Press F to pay respects.
Cheerimac: You think the show peaked at “Filli Vanilli.”
Sugarmac: You are heterosexual.
Cheesepie: You don’t see it as losing a waifu to Weird Al. You see it as gaining Weird Al as a horsebando.
Maudbriar: You think the ability to relate to neurotypical people is grossly overrated.
The Cakes: Most people ship for the thrill of the initial fling, but you’re in it for the long haul.
Brightcup: You understand why Romeo & Juliet really, really shouldn’t be considered a romantic classic.
Shinedance: Either you follow Skywriter or you are Skywriter.
It's the tentacles. >_>;
I died at Yonabar.
Doesn't matter, had Snu-Snu.
And that final line!
----
needs to be said
But wait, FoME! What about Startrixburst?
(Also, much lol at Yonabar, Twilestia and Cheesepie!)
Pfft. Thanks for this. I needed the morning laugh.
Got me thinking about a few I've seen kicking around.
Chryslestia - You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of political marriages.
MirrorSomblestia - You think that the Star Crossed Lovers trope is the greatest thing ever.
5195728
I thought that was SmooPie.
5195751
I like Bobthedalek's take on it; Trixie pursues Starlight pursues Sunburst pursues Some Peace And Quiet From His Mum Asking About Grandfoals.
Anyone willing to take a crack at ChrysArmorDance?
I mean... does he, though?
No YOU'RE a Whovian!
I'm fine with CheesiePie, I just want someone to give Cheese character traits that differentiate himself from Pinkie; as it stands, she's basically dating herself.
So, I decided to make a few of my own... and then I made so damn many I figured I'd just post my own blog.
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This is the same joke as Fluttercord, but you think Stockholm Syndrome gets a bad rep.
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You just want good things for Starlight. And really, who wouldn’t?
Honestly calling me out here and you ain't wrong
Tbh as funny as some of these are it does seem to rely on how you interpret the characters.
>All these blogs, and nobody has tackled my personal OTP, Sombra x Madam Le Flour.
tequilamockingbirdlove.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/eyeroll.gif
Applelestia: Forget marching to the same old drums! Get a new drum! In fact you do not even have a drum!. Ship it like Maersk popular conventions be buggered!
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It's true
It's true
Option for Gallbar: Your ideal high school romance is "skater/jock" with a healthy pinch of The Inherent Eroticism of Bromances and a dash of Edgy Boys having one person they trust.
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At the risk of tooting my own horn, that was one of those jokes that I'd catch myself reciting over and over again while thinking about something else.
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Startrixburst: Your favorite way to resolve love triangles is to realize they've already been resolved.
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Smoopie: You have grossly and deliberately misinterpreted the phrase "There's always room for Jell-O."
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Chrysarmordance: You believe that every villain is a tsundere waiting to happen.
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Oh, absolutely. This is a melange of common trends, my own take on the pairings, and incorporating as many of Eldena Doublca5t's running gags as I can.
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Sombre Flour: You have an appreciation for the finer things in life, regardless of whether those things actually exist.
These were good. I won't lie, I had to stop and figure a few of them out, and I still haven't gotten a few at the bottom, but it didn't matter. I smirked and chortled.
Also, I couldn't help but notice a suspicious lack of Bacon Horse ships. Sunlight is only the start I'm certain.
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Darn it! I'm glad nobody was in the office with me when I read that, because I actually cackled out loud.
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And it's really quite amazing, and so is the thought that you spent who knows how long getting the colored text just right.
So do we have any ships for Best Pony Planeswalker?
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Definitely grossly :p
You have grossly and deliberately misinterpreted all possible interpretations of the phrase 'eating out'.
Yep!
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Personally, I think that "opposites attract" is overrated. Then again, I'm
an egotisticala guy with high self-esteem who's also very single, so what do I know.Cheese is better at spectacle while Pinkie is better at friendship. And that's different enough for me.
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I mean, show me one that's not
Hah, nice. :D
I ship Fluttercord... but the Twicord description is pretty spot-on for me, no lie.
Also, from personal experience, I can strongly recommend marrying your best friend and both being colossal nerds.
I don't know what my favorite ship is, but I've never been heavily into shipping anyway. But on reflection, it's probably Fluttercord or Rarijack. Sparity's nice, too - I am a sucker for underdogs, and I don't really do the "OTP" thing.
Oh, and Twilestia delenda est - I definitely do NOTPs.
For this line alone, I'd give you all the awards
To be honest, I'm just gratified that your DoctorxDerpy joke was in a similar vein to the one I made in my comment of Tangerine Blast's original post. I know it's nothing more than coincidence, but I consider the fact I made a joke that's almost as good as one of these ones to be a high acheivement.
That said, I have since thought of an alternative for this FluttershyxDiscord one: "You think Disney’s Beauty and the Beast would be a perfect love story if he'd never transformed back from being a beast. Or stopped acting like one." but I'm worried that might be a bit much (I apologize if it is, I just thought it was funny)
AppleDash: You wish that the Odd Couple had more romantic subtext.
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The Vichy of relationships?
5195904
There is Sunsagio, but most of the Sunset ships I've examined are in the earlier blog linked at the top of this one.
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MLP Vector Club was invaluable for getting the hex codes. From there, it was just a matter of making sure I'd formatted all the tags properly. And hey, if you're going to do it, do it right.
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That doesn't stop some people.
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Cozy Glow is clearly a yandere. And frankly, so is Discord. Remember how he reacted to Tree Hugger?
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I can never get past the age difference myself. I'm also not a fan of breaking up canon couples; I almost always embargo ships that would do so.
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MLP what now? I've always found FIMFic's color text options enough for the characters and magical artifacts (might not wanna ask about that one) I've written so far, but more options can't hurt.
5196058
Allllllll oooooooof theeeeeeeem.
5196076
To be fair, there are very funny quips in your post. Especially Scratchtavia, Sciset, and pretty much everything I didn't think to cover.
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Already covered those two last week. That said, accurate.
5196597
Link's at the top of the blog.
5196598
Awesome, thank you!
F, bra. All the F. Just not for Marble, apparently
Look, I just came here for a good time, I didn't expect to be called out like this.
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5196592
Ok, the previous blog post had the Sunset glory I was missing. Thank you very much.
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I stopped following the show before that point, so, uh, no, I actually don't, but well argued nonetheless.
Ouch. But honestly Twilight needs a good extravert, and Trixie is better then Dash or Jack.
Never will beat Rarity though. But that's a very different kind of ship.
Now I kinda want Rarity and Trixie to fight over Twilight. It would only end badly for Trixie though as she can't be subtle.
I feel like these two need to be done and no one's done them yet....
MoonLight and ChryLight.
I have ideas for the first... not sure about the second.
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Assuming you mean the Light I think you do...
Stardancer: You still remember when your childhood best friend moved away.
Staralis: The "mind control" tag gets your curiosity. The "ovipositor" tag gets your attention.
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Nope. Meant Twilight both times. I was basing the ship names off the group names for the ships.
Although I am amused by the fact Moonlight can be Starlight/Moondancer and Twilight/Nightmare moon.
And oddly the Staralis ship never occured to me, but it really should have. Both from a "I hate you," "I don't think that word means what you think it does" perspective or from a Starlight saving Chrysalis friendship perspective.
It really should have because the odds of Twilight having the will and clarity to redeem Chrysalis in the next Century is fairly low. I suppose that's her new Student's job.
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Ah. You'll find Twidancer in the blog itself. As for the other one...
Twilis: This is the same joke 5195755 made about Chryslestia, except you figured Celestia would delegate the villain problem to Twilight again.