Paul's Thursday Reviews LXXXII · 9:51pm Jul 27th, 2017
I noticed something in the past few days. I've been trucking along on 50,000-60,000 words/day of reading to keep up with my review schedule these past three weeks, and last night I finally finished one of my seven big stories (which is getting reviewed today). I've been juggling so many at once that my attention is waning, which I fear makes the quality of my reviews suffer. When it's all said and done, it comes down to this: I'm burning out.
This isn't like the last few times I burned out on reviews though. Those times I went for long periods while reading a reasonable amount, and so the burn out came without me noticing and people had to tell me to take a break. This time? I am blatantly aware of it, and that bothers me. I can only assume my strong awareness of the problem stems from having read so much material from so many stories simultaneously over such a long period.
Lesson learned: no more breaking my self-imposed reading limits.
The good news is that I've got a reading vacation coming in a couple weeks, so I'll get the break I so clearly need. Until then, I can at least take solace in the knowledge that next week is going to be much gentler to me.
In other news: Sorry, JJ, but no re-blog today. I figure I've got a lot to say and it deserves to not be fighting reviews for attention.
Stories for This Week:
Open Eyes by Lapis-Lazuli and Stitch
Nuzzle Locked by shortskirtsandexplosions
Twilightning by Bok
The Pony Who Lived Upstairs by Ringcaat
Trust by Viking ZX
Total Word Count: 211,497
Rating System
Why Haven't You Read These Yet?: 1
Pretty Good: 3
Worth It: 1
Needs Work: 0
None: 0
Open Eyes
6,220 Words
By Lapis-Lazuli and Stitch
Completely unrelated: few things annoy my Twilight levels of OCD more than an author changing their name. Now there are at least two stories buried deep within my review list with links that don’t work, and as much as I really don’t want to go looking for them, I may be pressured by that Tara Strong-ish voice in the back of my head to do so anyway.
Or I’ll have forgotten the problem by the end of this review. I’ve been learning to ignore Tara lately (I’m not insane (I SWEAR)).
Anyway, Open Eyes is the (much anticipated by me) sequel to the cute Young Eyes, in which Dinky learned she could see fairy tale creatures the average pony could not. It wasn’t clear in the other story whether Dinky’s skill was real or just a figment of her childish imagination. This story confirms that, oh yes, her ability is very real. She spends her day meeting some rather important figments, including the pony version of Lady Luck and, more ominously, a doll that eats naughty children.
The story maintains the cute nature of its predecessor, but expands upon the concept to indicate that Dinky is going to be a very important pony when she grows up – even if nopony else knows it. It’s an endearing little tale that does a great job of nurturing what the last one started. If I had anything to complain about, it’s that there are no further sequels. Oh well.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Nuzzle Locked
3,828 Words
By shortskirtsandexplosions
Alternate title: Twilight Sparkle is a Cuddle Whore
This one is supposedly a sequel to the SS&E silly story Everypony Cuddles, Sometimes, in which Twilight bribes an unwilling Rainbow into cuddles… for science. If this is truly meant to be set in the same universe, then Twilight is totally a cuddle whore, and is apparently determined to ensure that all of her friends become cuddle whores as well.
At any rate, in this one we learn that Twilight was performing an experiment involving teleportation to the ‘Cuddle Zone,’ a universe so fluffy and full of good feelings that it is possible to become addicted and never want to leave. Rainbow, being Rainbow, barges in, interrupts the experiment and ends up being sent to this zone. Now she’s randomly being thrown through portals, landing on top of unsuspecting ponies and cuddling the sense out of them, and Twilight’s gotta find a way to stop it before she dooms the entire world with cuddly bliss.
This story is one half silly cutesy story and one half cruel crackfic. It’s particularly cruel to Scootaloo, which turned me off seeing as she’s my favorite filly, but meh, to each his own. It falls into even more annoying territory with blatantly Japanese sound effects that don’t make a lick of sense in an MLP setting, especially considering the ponies are depicting as intentionally voicing said sound effects.
And yet, these complaints don’t really hold up to scrutiny for one reason: SS&E wrote this to be stupid silly. Whether it entertains you or not will depend largely upon your personal preference of the style of humor presented.
Personally? I think Everypony Cuddles, Sometimes is a vastly superior story with a far more endearing premise. But I think it’s better if readers decide that for themselves than rely on my opinion in this case, so I’m going with a neutral result.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Twilightning
5,489 words
By Bok
Recommended by Pascoite
Want to write a story that serves no purpose, but can’t figure out how to make it good? Here you go; read and learn. In Twilightning, Twilight comes across an ancient spell that lets the user teleport unlimited distances by riding lightning. But the spell is incomplete and needs further research before it can be viable.
There’s nothing more addictive to a bibliophile unicorn with magic as her special talent than an epic research project.
This story somehow manages to combine show-level humor with a semi-serious style, creating something fun and refreshing. From Twilight’s characteristic need to go overboard, Spike’s constant putting up with it, and equally entertaining cameos from Zecora, Chrysalis, and the royal sisters, there’s really not much to complain about. Sure the story doesn’t achieve anything in terms of theme or purpose, but it is so well done on the whole that I’m having a hard time forming the appropriate righteous indignation.
Solid pacing, clean writing, delightful Twilight characterization, and just enough humor to keep things running from beginning to end. Consider me happy with this one. I’d normally leave a story like this in the ‘Pretty Good’ bookshelf, but the complete absence of issues in a sub-genre usually swarming with them makes me want to nudge it up just enough, so...
Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?
The Pony Who Lived Upstairs
184,740 Words
By Ringcaat
Requested by Thought Prism
Well, this didn’t go at all where I expected it to, and in the one instance that it did, did so from a different angle.
The Pony Who Lived Upstairs focuses on Ron Pfeiffer – Sergeant Pepper to his friends. He is, to be blunt, a Millennial loser. And this isn’t like those common stories that claim the protagonist is a loser only to instantly reveal said protagonist has a ton of awesome traits. Ron really is a loser; unathletic, dead end job he doesn’t like, no ambition, minimal social life. At least he’s not living in his mom’s basement, but that’s about all he’s got going for him.
Then a pony from Equestria moves into the room upstairs of his apartment. Curiosity drives Ron to break out of his shell and say hello. The friendship that follows is an experience in existential (sorry, anti-existential) quandaries, an exploration into what it means to be ‘human’ and ‘pony’, and Ron’s discovery of something that he can actually be passionate about.
This story is fascinating in a number of ways, and seems to exist largely as a think piece on the question “Why are we what we are?” It takes place in a universe where Equestria – true-to-show Equestria, not some alternate universe – finds a way to cross the dimensional divide to an Earth that just so happens to be ours. In other words, an Earth where My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is a children’s show, there is a Brony community, and everything is almost exactly how we know it.
Of course, this brings up some interesting questions. How is it that a children’s show made by humans is exactly alike to another dimension, right down to the episodes of said show being that dimension's history? Does that mean humans made the ponies, or is it just a crazy, near impossible coincidence? And the pony Peach Spark – the eponymous pony upstairs – has come to Manhattan hoping to find answers to those questions and more.
I thoroughly approve of what Ringcaat is doing with this story. It explores a range of concepts using the relationship of Ron and Peach as a medium, and does it really well. Peach’s insatiable curiosity drives her and keeps her interesting from beginning to end, and the comparably uninteresting but thoughtful Ron acts as a perfect springboard for her ideas and notions. And as Ron himself gradually gets more and more devoted to Peach’s quest for awareness, he starts to become interesting in his own ways (and, in time, drops his 'loser' status).
The author also does an excellent job of hitting certain tropes in fresh ways. For example, I think most people would see this and immediately assume that there’s going to be some sort of romance between Ron and Peach. They’d be right… but they wouldn’t expect that romance to be forced upon them unexpectedly by a certain Equestrian diplomatic figure (hint: she’s got a lot of pink).
There are a few things that bugged me. Some where legitimate stumbles, but minor ones that don’t impact the story much. Others were more subjective, such as one instance where Ringcaat makes a few less than subtle political jabs that struck me as unnecessary. Despite these, the story is clean enough that I couldn't find anything worthwhile to complain about in detail here.
Except…
I have no idea how throwing a random prequel chapter right smack dab in the middle of the story “as a bonus” could possibly be conceived as a good idea. "I just had some big interesting stuff happen! I’m about to move on to some more really interesting stuff, but first I'm going to throw everything away and talk about completely unrelated characters you don’t know or care about in a story that only relates to this one in a peripheral way if you squint… and I'm not even going to finish it."
If this were slapped at the end of the story, I’d still be complaining, but nowhere near as much. As it is, that prequel chapter is nothing but an annoying eyesore. The contents of said chapter are indeed interesting, but seeing as it has no bearing whatsoever on this story, it shouldn’t have been anywhere near The Pony Who Lived Upstairs. If you really want to make another story in the same universe, make it another story.
But meh. That major misstep knocks this story off my potential favorites list, but aside from that this is a wonderful slice-of-life tale that will keep you thinking from beginning to end. Ringcaat did a pretty solid job, and I’m definitely interested in reading more.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Whelp, this is it, folks. I’ve read everything I was so focused on reading by this author that I could legitimately fastrack via the ‘Sequel/Completes’ list. Now my only option is to put the last story or two on my RiL and hope I get to it within a year’s time. Oh well, I suppose I’ll just entertain myself reading stories by this Florschutz character in the meantime.
The last entry in the Dusk Guard series of shortfics, Trust finally lets us see things from the perspective of Dawn Triage, the Guard’s snippy physician and field medic. As with all the others, this one focuses on Dawn’s day off, starting with a quick psychological session with one of the Guard (uh, that’s not how you do a ‘day off’, Dawn) and a few other things around town. Dawn’s activities are curiously independent of socializing and friendship, but that seems to work just fine for her. Or it would, if she hadn’t just discovered something rather important about one of her patients via mildly unethical medical practice.
How fortunate that there’s always a Princess of the Sun around when you need her.
I have to say, I’m thrilled to have finally gotten here. Dawn Triage is easily the member of the Dusk Guard with the least attention, which makes her the most deserving of expansion. Curiously, her story has no adventure, no great dramatic debates, and no moments of life changing epiphany. It is, for all intents and purposes, a normal day off, albeit with a decision looming over her head. It’s a distinct change of pace from the other stories in this little series, but one that fits with the character well.
Then again, those readers who want some ‘activity’ in their stories may be disappointed. This is as slice-of-life as a story can get. But hey, you can’t please everyone, right?
The story did feel a bit stilted. There never feels as though there’s anything resembling rising action or a climax; it all seems to run a single, sedate pace even when Celestia does her ‘I know all’ thing. Whether that’s good or bad is up to the individual reader. I simply mark it as a notable quirk.
Trust is an interesting story for being a little different from Viking ZX’s usual yarn and also – finally – giving us some insight into the mind of the Dusk Guard’s least explored member. I don’t consider it as good as some of the other entries, but it’s definitely worthy of being among the ranks.
Alright, guess I’ll starting reading this Florschutz guy’s stuff. At least until Viking ZX gets off his arse and gives us that big Dusk Guard sequel he’s been promising forever.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Liked these reviews? Check out some others:
Paul's Thursday Reviews LXXVII
Paul's Thursday Reviews LXXVIII
Paul's Thursday Reviews LXXIX
Paul's Thursday Reviews LXXX
Paul's Thursday Reviews LXXXI
You Are Here
Paul's Thursday Reviews LXXXIII
Paul's thursday Reviews LXXXIV
New Groups, The Barcast, and Hurricanes (Oh, and Reviews)
Paul's Thursday Reviews LXXXV
Paul's Thursday Reviews LXXXVI
I swear it's coming!
I just need to get Jungle's draft finished and Shadow of an Empire into the editing process for release!
Whew! That out of the way, I'm glad you enjoyed Trust. Personally, it's the weakest of the side stories, mostly owing to Dawn's unique position on the team: Unlike the others, she's already quite established with where she is in life and who she is, so conflict is at a low point for her personally. She's basically almost content ... and it's very hard to write a story about a content, everyday individual and be interesting without some form of disruption to their usual schedule.
In other words, writing Dawn is a challenge! Which will make it all the more interesting when she's given a primary viewpoint focus in a later DG book, and this story was good practice. As always, thanks for the review, and I hope the next time you read something I've written revolving around Dawn, I'm able to make her unique position (from a writing perspective) work even better and more enjoyable for all.
Twilightning is indeed an excellent story for all the reasons you described.