It Has Come To My Attention We Have Some Favorites · 6:44pm Mar 29th, 2014
Well, looks like you guys are ecstatic about the new chapters and regular schedule of Celestia Uses An Online Dating Website. The weekend gave me a chance to get the two next update chapters done, but some things have come to my attention. First off, I am undecided whether to also make Saturday an update day as well. It wouldn't be too much trouble on my part, since I find these chapters easier to do as time goes on, and tons as fun as well. But it does bring up the question of whether I'll go through my more obvious immortal line up as time goes on. I guess I can throw in a filler chapter here and there, maybe throw in some already seen characters just to spice things up a bit. Many seem pleased Deadpool made a guest appearance in the latest chapter, and yes, he'll be serving as a recurring character throughout the story. So in the meantime, there may be a chapter where Celestia doesn't go on a date, but I'll still try to keep the humor flowing as always.
Other than that, I noticed three distinct favorites pop-up multiple times for Celestia to go out with. Those being, of course...
The God Emperor of Mankind
Jack Harkness
Alucard
Interestingly enough, the Alucard team is split between the regular and abridged version of himself (though I am told the difference isn't too big). Nonetheless, I can honestly say I know next to nothing about most of these guys. Which is why I'm trying to read up and learn as much as I can.
As for their dates, I can't really be expected to make them short numbers like I've done before. No, each of them deserves something BIG for their dates. Probably mature rated as well (Alucard's date would probably force me to use the gore tag, from what I've heard of Jack, definitely the sex tag, and the God Emperor himself would probably drag this fic to the mature territory). Since I do want to keep this fic in the teen rated section, I'll perhaps make side stories for each of them, allowing for a much bigger date and for me to exercise greater freedom since I can use whatever tags I want.
So yeah, this will most likely happen with every ten dates or so, with a smaller date being the chapter while I get the side story done. Should be good fun, yes? Hope you guys will enjoy it when it is eventually released!
Lol... Scootaloo making a contract with Alucard who refers to her as "My Master"
God-emperor: can't comment, otherwise HERESY.
Jack: I'm gay for him. Nuff said.
Alucard: I can't imagine him being even remotely interesting in anything other than fighting. He's old, he's pretty much the King of all undead and he's bored out of his mind.
1964229 she doesn't have enough guts to command him
... ... ... ...
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That is all, thank you.
Definitely abridged Alucard.
[youtube=TgnIjJexut4]
1964235 You obviously don't know abridged Alucard.
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS UNHOLY, DO ABRIDGED ALUCARD!!! He and Celestia should go on a VERY enthusiastic walk!
1964309
Ah, so this is the famous abridged series I have heard so much about. Thanks!
I'm genuinely surprised not more people want Hades in on this.
1964309 Fuck yeah abridged Alucard. All the fuckin way.
1964360 no no no
The real Alucard is a total ladys man
He flirts with the queen of england And is an unholy abomination
he is suave yet eccentric, cool yet the personification af madness
There is a huge difference
1964505 aw crap, actually yeah, he was smooth with the young Queen. In my mind, the series have higher priority than actual movies, because that's what I saw first.
*sees Jack Harkness*
I CAME!
I mean, erm... yeaaaah......
1964511 I can understand that
Plus he's still getting frisky with the queen
Even though she is like eigthy
just shows Alucard doesn't care about age
he's the perfect boyfriend
1964568 TFW I'm trying to decide who would be a better husbando - Jack Harkness or Alucard.
Also screw the emperor of mankind
Celestia should try Imotekh the storm lord
I hear he is like a machine in bed.
1964571
That is indeed the question
1964568
1964585
Hmmm... well, that changes things. I guess, since this fic does include the multiverse and all that, there could be two Alucards. Would make for an interesting date.
Fuck it, let's have Captain Jack! (Harkness, not Sparrow)
1964597 And then the date will be ruined with every other incarnation of Alucard whom wasn't chosen getting jealous and demanding a fight to the death for Celestia's heart, only, you know, they're immortal so the fight will never end.
I nominate Ryuko or Nui from Kill la Kill. It'll be interesting.
fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/354/e/3/nui_harime_by_neogoki-d6ym1lt.jpg
King Sombra revisited, perhaps...? I mean, how awkward would it be if Sombra showed up at a date(like Deadpool) and was like, "She is an absolute freak!"?
As a note, Bob, I'm a massive 40k fan and can probably help with any God-Emperor information you need, though any date with him will have to venture outside of his canon form, as he's currently a corpse on top of a mile-high mechanized throne/life-support system, unable to speak, and subsisting off the life force of one thousand dying psykers per day.
...Though, admittedly, the thought of Celestia trying to carry on a very awkward, one-sided conversation with the God-Emperor's corpse, serving tea and crumpets on top of the Golden Throne and trying to avoid angering the Adeptus Custodes is pretty funny.
On another note entirely...
> Alucard
> Not Castlevania
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE
geekedoutnation.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/symphony-of-the-night.jpg
FOR TEH EMPRAH!
1964668
I'll probably use his younger version instead. Remember, you don't have to make sense with the multiverse.
Jack Harkness?
Jack Harkness?!
JACK HARKNESS?!
JJJJAAAAAAcCCCCKKKKK HHHHAAAARRRRRKKKKNEEEEESSSSS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh gods! So three side stories of "Celestia Dates the God Emperor of Mankind", "Celestia Dates Jack Harkness", and "Celestia Dates Alucard"? All of my YES!
Heck, maybe one of them might even get a second or third date out of it!
And the major difference between regular and Abridged Alucard is that Abridged takes things much less seriously and is far more likely to crack wise about things.
1964870
Ooh, this might be my chance to do a double date with Luna.
Jack Harkness! (I would make some kind of joke here but I'm late for a raid,
)
1964898
...Double Date?
Celestia dates one Alucard while Luna's dating the other? That could be interesting.
Now Bob I'm worried that you might be forgetting about another very popular choose.
I mean I know he is nowhere near as demanded as the Dr. Who playboy boy; but I would like to once again suggest
Arceos(AKA the Pokemon of GOD!)
...Just a little bit more emphatically than the last time.
For one he would easily be material enough for another story, and you should really have at least one horse like(Or at least quadruped) deity from another dimension in your story, and I would really, really, really love to see them together for better or for worst.
Alright I'm done ranting now. Just please, I'm begging you, make it happen.
Also
1964898 Oh, you devil sponge I predict you will surely bring lots of "fun" hours for me in the future.
I love youuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUU!
~Leonzilla
> Sex tag
My waifu senses are tingling...
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Do Jack first! I'll give a few good reasons:
1. He always manages to get it in somebody's pants no matter who/what it is.
2. He can take a beating if need be (He has been incinerated, suffocated, shot, I think buried alive, etc.)
3. He later some how mutates into a giant tentacle head. I don't think an explanation was ever given, so you could potentially blame a pissed off sun god
4. He is more humorous than any other immortal I have ever seen. Most immortal things brood and become wise, well he does after he mutates, but we're talking about the super sexually driven Jack. He hits on everything and doesn't seem to learn.
5. He can time travel that would add a lovely twist to a relationship.
Quick notes on everyone:
The God Emperor will likely be followed by a train of guards and viciously loyal followers. however, he's a stable, intelligent man, with a keen mind for science, magic, psionics, and many other fields. He honestly cares about those he meets, but he wants humanity to thrive. Though his image would later be a xenophobic, tyrannical caricature of what he once was, he himself never had a problem with non-humans. As long as they don't threaten humanity, that is. The concept of stable psyker abilities with no ties to the warp? Indeed the ability to purge chaos-taint even from chaos gods? He'd be very interested in that.
Jack Harkness is a sweet, loving person, but he's unlikely to want to stick into a deep relationship. He's still got a thing for the Doctor, but he won't admit it to the Doc's face, 'cuz that would distract the Doc from doing his thing. However, the culture he hails from is not strict in any way about the ways one is allowed to 'dance' (a metaphor for sexual orientation/preferences) and encouraged learnign as many ways to 'dance' as possible, including ones considered polite and proper in other places and times. This includes actual dancing, and he's pretty good with a stately ballroom dance, or a more energetic dance. he's kind, devoted, and very quirky. It'd be best to watch at least the Doctor Who episodes featuring him, as they work very hard to define his mental features as well as his chivalrous attitude (and by that, I mean, he's very careful to take care of anyone weaker than himself; it's a part of who he is)
Alucard (original) is a mildly sarcastic, and very intelligent vampire of ancient origin. He's very pragmatic, but his origin is in a bloody, violent past, and he still revels in taking people apart. He's a visceral, very energetic sort of person, but he keeps his energy bound behind a powerful facade of control. In truth, though, he's very likely to not only snap his leash off if he didn't have the honor that binds him to the Hellsing family, but probably go on another rampage that could only end in a sea of blood.
Alucard (abridged) is a caustically snarky, utterly amoral hedonist, with a taste for the finer things in unlife. Like, and I quote, "bitches", and 70-inch plasma screen TVs. With Netflix, of course. He's practically an avatar of the modern era's excesses, with none of the redeeming qualities, and he enjoys it. He's a foul-mouthed, odious troll with a grin so wide it'd send Pinkamena of Cupcakes into the corner to cry in fear. And by 'troll', I mean internet troll. he's even got a twitter acount with which to bast the fear-turkey, have sex with it, and that's all a metaphor for screwing with the Vatican in every way possible. Most notably by sending in a hand-written threat letter of gruesome detail to the current pope every so often, sometimes causing the more squeamish ones to vacate in a hurry as a result.
Think Deadpool, but his only redeeming factor is that he's funny. Well, funny so long as you're out of his firing line.
You seem to have forgotten Viral: i698.photobucket.com/albums/vv345/teaforsomeone/Personal%20stuff/Viral.png
Jack Harkness: For Dummies
(I'm an Expert on the Doctor, so feel free to Correct me if there is another Whovian out there.)
He is a Drinker. Though when he gets drunk he always finds himself in a bed the next day
He is the ORIGINAL Ladies Man
He is ALSO a 'Mans Man' (meaning he's Bisexual)
He is UNKILLABLE (The man has been Killed times before (last track was somewhere in the 200 range. Then he Stopped counting.) He has also been blown up before.... from the inside. His bones and organs regrew themselves within a few days, and he came back to life screaming, without his skin.... (Have Fun with this One~))
He is a Beast in Bed and Out Swagger's Zues. (From a previous chapter)
He is Clever as Bucking Hell.
He Carries a Gun. Everywhere.
He is a Gentlemen.
He is into any and everything that involves sex.
(His record is sleeping with 6 women, and 5 men. In the Same night. All at Once)
He is over 500 years old (give or take)
He comes from the 51st Century- with Natural 51st Century Pheromones that make him smell of cologne, and aphrodisiacs. (I'm sure you'll have fun with that one~)
He is AMERICAN.
He has a time machine strapped to his wrist called a Vortex Manipulator (Though, I call it a 'VM' for short) which has currently been disabled thanks to the Doctor. (WHY IS HE NOT ON THIS LIST?!)
Oh- and he also ran The British Version of Area 51 called "TORCHWOOD" (which is a clever Anagram for 'Doctor Who') where they collected, and killed anything threatening and alien with Guns, shooting, and very violent things- unlike Doctor Who (and has most likely been doing the same thing upon his arrival to Equestria.)
Speaking of which- Their is a Pony version of him. I don't think you need to bring in a Human Jack for this chapter in all honesty RainbowBob. But it's your story mate.
Umm... Atcually.... I think that's about it....
So uh... Yeah.... That about sums him up....
Nic Cage