So I dresses up as a superhero, right... · 6:12am Feb 20th, 2014
...and I went to this party, where we all were like, drunk. And some dude with a bandwagon passed by and shouted to everyone to just jump in since the bandwagon was going to Equestria or somethin', and yeah. So we did. I think.
Anyway, we all woke up there, because that's original, and the bandwagon was like, totally trashed. It looked like crap, but we didn't care, because bandwagon and we needed an excuse, right? So, yeah. And we... did I mention we woke up? Anyway, so we're like totally there. In the forest or something, and we're dressed like superheroes and supervillains and some guy dressed up as cheese. But he wasn't dressed up! He was cheese!
After the meal we just went our separate ways, because we totally wanted to be original, and we had powers now. So we all got on the bandwagon and looked cool and shit, but the thing wouldn't move so I had to punch a couple of guys to push it downhill. I think they were left behind, but who cares about the 70s Joker and the 70s Riddler?
And dude, it's like, ponyville up ahead, right? So we just barge in, bandwagon and all and impress everypony with how deep we are and how powerful and different and how much they want to love us and fear us and shit. I got to kiss Twilight, and like, it was totally like "BOMF!" but I don't remember if it was her wings or my hair. Could've been both.
But you know, the usual shit happened, and Ponyville became a crater and we were all super-special superpowers and we made things better by removing all life from the area, because we're heroes! I think. Or, well I think we did. I don't know where we put them tho.
Anyway, so I like, totally invested my super powers to gather everyone up and transported us back to Earth, where we lost our powers, but it was okay because we were on Earth and there were no ponies to save. Except we left behind 70s Joker and Riddler. So we all went home, thinking about our pony friends and crashed, like for real, you know? Well, crashed as in fell asleep. But I woke up, and decided that I should write the whole damn thing and throw it at fimfiction, because no-one else writes shit like that and I want to be original.
I saw this coming from a mile away once I saw the title...
So when should we expect this to be published?
D, as Tony Stark, would be dressed in an Iron Man suit.
1855636 It was a costume, bro, can't dress up as myself
But who was phone?
1855644 Phone Bone?
Better than half HiE's on this site and all others.
1855646 Oh man, I loved that comic!
Something's off. I'm pretty sure you're supposed to put some asterisks in the title.
One hell of a ride, right? The one thing I forget though is who was driving. At the end of the day, everybody looked the same. Except they didn't because, you know, originality.
1855646 Yeah, like, I was all alone though, so my trip went something like this:
"Happy Halloween!" I close the door on the retreating backs of a group of giggling goblins and ghouls and lean against the door with a groan. "I'm almost out of candy and it's not even midnight yet..." I stretch out my arms and rub the back of my neck, groaning again as I set the candy bowl down on a nearby table.
Heading towards the kitchen and the snack I'd been eating, I pass a body-length mirror, giving myself a once-over to see if my costume was still in place. I was wearing a cracked Darth Vader helmet, one I'd found in an old box of costume masks from when I was a kid. Covering the half of my face left bare from the mask, I had painted my face blood red and dark black, giving it the image of a demon. I'd been aiming for Darth Maul, but this was as close as I'd be getting. Atop my head I had a jagged black horn with a reddened tip.
Straightening the mask so it better covered its half of my face, I pulled the vampire teeth out of my mouth and smoothed out the straight jacket I was wearing. Along with a shrill cackle and a frenzied look in my eye, I'd look like a real asylum escapee in this, even if it was just something a friend had made for me.
The ragged pants spattered with 'blood' were the least interesting part of my ensemble, in my honest opinion, but after realizing I already had things from four different costumes on, a pair of "Minecraft Zombie" pants didn't seem too outlandish. The wand-chucks hanging at my waist and the Shwartz ring on my middle finger were a testament to how big a nerd I was, while the black wings and leather boots made me look like an even more homosexual Sephiroth.
Satisfied that I still looked like shit, I turned away from the mirror, just as it started to glow from within. Suddenly, I was knocked off my feet as the entire house shook, the mirror falling off the wall and landing atop me, sending me through the swirling vortex with a scream of terror.
It was interesting, having my body stretched and compacted as it was, watching my fingers dissolve until my hands were just lumps of red-and-black colored flesh, I couldn't help it as I started giggling, wondering if I was tripping on something my girlfriend had put in the chocolate-covered pretzel balls she'd made for me. As the wings on my back suddenly pierced my skin, molding with me, I screamed in pain, terror, and an insane thrill of glee as my body continued to warp and change.
Out of the lumps of flesh that used to be my hands grew wicked-sharp claws, and an electric jolt wracked my body as the headband-horn I was wearing suddenly attached itself to my nervous system.
My feet melted in their boots until all they were was the boots, and the leather started crawling up my legs, rippling as it became hardened flesh.
I don't know how long it took, whether it was a millennium or a minute, but I finally fell to the floor, my screams dying down to a cascade of crazed cackles, then a gaggle of gurgling giggles, and finally a stanched staccato of stuttering rasps, my throat too dry to do much else.
My skin felt warm and thick as I slowly made my way to my feet... no, hooves? I looked at my clawed hands and flexed my suddenly bulging muscles, realizing that, beside the kuuuuuuuuu-pahhh of my breath telling me that I sounded like Vader, I was a near exact replica of Satan from most lore, and most likely from South Park. Chuckling dryly, I reached up and realized that I was completely bald except for one horn that looked astoundingly like King Sombra's from that MLP cartoon I'd started watching almost eight years ago. Focusing on the horn, I tried casting some magic, but couldn't do so. Shrugging my shoulders with a ripple of muscle, I looked around at the clearing I was in, bordered on one side by an evil looking forest and on another by a path leading towards a peaceful looking Hobbit-esque cottage.
It took me almost a minute to realize that I was in Ponyville.
Pulling the wand-chucks out of their holster, I started casting one spell I knew I could: magic missile. Laughing maniacally through the Vader mask, explosions filled the area around me as I burned down a place I had once loved so much, before Hasbro took it completely down the gutter by turning all the main characters into princesses.
That was when a magic bolt struck me in the back. Turning in anger, I looked at a group of ponies all decked out in regalia. "So," I say with a sinister smile. "This is that universe. Heheheheheh..." I put my two hands together at crotch level, letting the schwartz extend to full length. "Then DIE for what your creators did!"
Barely a minute later, I'm pinned to the ground by several giant metal spikes, my right leg sliced off by a wild swing of my own weapon, and the Eternal Elements of Harmony are staring down at me, nonplussed. "What does this make, Twi, the fifth this week? The sixth?"
"The ninth," the Purple Princess of Pain says as she turns to look at the Royal Rainbow. I can't help but let out a chuckle.
"Stupid... Hasbro...it's so boring when you're all OP like total faggots."
Fluttershy dips her head lower, her eyes showing no remorse. "I'm sorry, but it's not like we can help it. It's too bad everyhuman that comes through goes psychotically evil for some strange reason."
"Yeah, maybe it's because you guys make being a hero look retarded." I'm still laughing at their indignant looks as the Rainbow of Harmony rips into me, and then everything is white.
i.imgur.com/71PLg.jpg
Making a commentary on all of those "costumed humans going to Equestria and ending up becoming a superpowered criminal" stories, D?
1855692 Yeah, and it's grand, lemme tell ya. I love smashing bandwagons.
go home D, you're drunk
1855692
Wait, is that actually a thing?
like, really?
1855700
Believe me, if you pay attention to the "popular stories" box, you'll know it's long since been a thing.
It's been going on ever since Malideus and The Rise of Darth Vulcan, and I think was popularized by "F*** it I'm having fun."
And yes, I have read all of those stories, at least to an extent.
1855704
Are they all in the same universe? like the characters could interact with each other, or just same idea?
CGOTG has almost completely burned me out on many characters in same universe.
1855776
Just the same idea. It's not some grand collaboration or universe or anything.
1855669
Good on you for lampooning us.
TOTALLY original.
1855836 Glad you can take a joke. I was starting to think I'd written that entire thing for nothing.
1855840
Yeah, that's the thing with groups like ours; sometimes, we shove our heads up our asses.
Sometimes, you need a proctologist who tells you: 'Son, you fucked up."
Oh, and I thumbed you up man, because good on you.
Yep. I can totally see Four score universe all over again.
1855842
Yeah, I agree completely.
I remember when I read MLD and the first thing I felt about it was irritation and anger. "How is this good? She's basically suffering from Stockholm Syndrome!"
After my second read of it, I wrote a six paragraph review detailing in what words I could manage (and they were pretty nice words, too. I think I only swore once!) just exactly how "My Little Dashie" was actually a horrible, terrible, sick, twisted thing. And the way I got browbeat was horrendously stupid.
"If this was a human child, he'd be arrested for child abuse at worst, child neglect at best."
"NUH-UH! RAYNBAO LUVZ HIM!!! SO ITS NOT ABUUS!!!"
"It is stated in the fic itself that Dash rarely goes out to fly, and that he never actually looked up what he should be feeding her, and just fed her whatever, mostly cubes of sugar."
"NUH UH! HE'S A GRAET DAD!!!"
Things like that. It was annoying, so I'm glad someone* out there knows how to say "Wow, yeah, I can see how dumb it sounds when you put it in perspective."
*Like RobCakeRan himself. He's a way cool guy who doesn't afraid of criticism. Only his fans do.
1855845 Heh, honestly? I feel it's more of a compliment to the original piece... or, well, I'm going to say the "I can totally do this better than you" off-shoot of the original piece (since the original is Malideaus, and I like Darth Vulcan soooo much better
). Basically 'imitation is the best form of flattery'... or something like that.
So, yeah, a horribly bandwagon thing is happening, but it's not like it wasn't something that hasn't happened a lot in the past with other things, or something that was even that surprising.
fc03.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2013/319/f/1/league_of_legends__royal_guard_fiora_wallpaper_by_psychovivi-d6uat7u.jpg
^Pictured: something completely unrelated.
...."I HAVE TO BLOW EVERYTHING UP TO PROVE I'M NOT CRAZY!"
Had a strange dream?
1855849 AYE!
I dare say that a bandwagon is only as good as its introductory song. Which is why I'm still loving these two songs:
Kiss me.
1855845
Blindly following something isn't good.
I have written four stories for the group.
I wrote the mass crossover.
I'm happy with my choices, but I can see that it isn't something that I would force everybody to like.
At least I can see that, and I pride myself for being able to say, "Wow, to other people we must look fucking retarded."
After all, we are fans of MLP, which has enough mad fans like those you hate.
1855892 Aye. Here, have a song.
Wanderer, you're Home. Go Drunk.
This is very philosophical.
For all that our bandwagon is stupid, and fairly unoriginal...
We have 300 members and counting.
This is in 2 weeks.
I'm shocked. I remember when there were 3 stories in the group. Then, other people started coming up with ideas. I was one of them.
Now, there're like 22 stories there, and a mass crossover.
Truthfully, our bandwagon is hackneyed, unoriginal, but it works because power fantasy.
1855636 I could see that happening
Well, seems that the group has critics.
Oh, well, At least I can take comfort in the fact that its creation was completely not my fault... right?
Completely original? Come now, it's common knowledge that nothing is original - accusing anyone of lacking it has no weight behind it whatsoever.Yes, the basic idea is the same - normal individual dresses up, enters Equestria, and gains superpowers, but where's the condemnation of the 'immortal Twilight' fics, or any of the numerous ship-fics? How can you justify not labeling those as 'unoriginal', too?
So no, don't accuse an entire genre of 'unoriginality' - level an actual criticism at the group if you must, but accusing them of 'unoriginality' does nothing to fix whatever problems you have with them.
Better yet - write your own. Go on, if you find yourself inexplicably unable to articulate precisely what you find so offensive about their stories, show them all how it's done.
I'll show you, D! Mine shall be completely original! Then we'll see who ends up in the corner crying and eating a tub of ice cream as the last shred of dignity in his body is crushed!
RainbowBob licks spoon.
That's feature box material right there
Incoming WTF moment!
~Skeeter The Lurker
So Wanderer you trying to say you don't like this kind of thing because it's extremely unoriginal and tends to be done in an unprofessional fashion?
Ok then, I just want to add that some of this authors are aware of their "unoriginality"; but value entertainment value more than originality in their stories. After all the two are not equal to each other and when you think about it; if you were to choose one of the two, Which one would you think is more important?
Still as I always say if you don't like it, don't read it. (Unless you actually like to dislike, in that case, sure, be my guest)
1856048 What is this group you speak of?
Am I the only one who's horrified by the man who became cheese? The life of a cheese golem seems neither long nor enjoyable.
mystmusician.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/off-to-neverland.gif
So when can we expect the sequel to be coming out, huh? WE WANT A SEQUEL!
I'll pray for you, D. I'll just pray.
1855782
Actually, an author (I forget who) is trying to take the first 13 stories and combine them. I tried to read it, but there were too many characters and it got confusing.
Aaaaaahhhhmmmm...
Should I be concerned that a site admin posted this?
1855845 Wow. Hey Mac. Haven't seen you really talk... since CW.
Still, I agree. I hate it when someone overlooks ALL logic to make a point just because they are blindly defending it. Like with Justin Bieber, as an example. I talked to one of his fans (why is it that they are called fans when they try to maim him?) about the egging incident he got into, and how it cost $20,000 to remove the damage he had done. The other person goes like this:
"WUH? BUT DATS STOOPID. ITS JUST EGGSGSS, RIGHT? HOW SO MUCH MONEYS?"
(This is more or less verbatim. She thought it was cool or something. Definitely not mentally disabled.)
I stopped trying to explain how anything that costs $20,000 to remove is bad after about 20 minutes. She never figured it out.
What has this world come to.
1856048 Eh. It's annoying at times, but I really don't care. You guys have fun.
1856165 Nope. I wanted to be original so I did it. Or not.
1856102 Sorry kid, not writing my own. I've written plenty and I'm writing plenty. That argument might work with someone that hasn't been writing for long enough. In any case, I didn't say there was anything wrong with the group in the blog, did I? Kindly point me to the part where I did.
1856171
Remember this part?