I like to fuck around and write stories about colorful cartoon horses. I live in the United States of fucking America, the best fucking nation on this whole god-forsaken planet. Uruguay and Moldova are okay, too, I guess. But America is where it's fucking at.

Location: Murica
Favorite pony: Pumpkin Cake
Favorite food: Also pumpkin cake, with whipped cream on top. No, that's not sexual or about ponies; get your mind out of the fucking gutter.
Least favorite pony: Twist. Seriously, what the fuck does he even do?
Favorite bands: Slayer, Bob Dylan, The Who, Evanescence, Skrillex, the Gorillaz, John Coltrane, Ice Cube, Tim McGraw, Switchfoot, Metallica, and also Hot Chelle Rae. Fuck you, they aren't a boy band; they're crossover pop rock.
Least favorite bands: Tied between Pre-Phil Collins Genesis and Post-Ozzie Ozborne Black Sabbath. Also, after Cobain left Nirvana, the band kind of went to shit. Who are the fucking Foo Fighters, any fucking way? Also, anything that John Mayer did after Room For Squares kinda sucks. How do you release an album that good and then fuck it up so royally?
Favorite internet browser: Google Chrome
Least favorite browser: Mozilla Firefox. The fucking thing crashed my whole computer once.
Favorite TV Shows: The Walking Dead, Once Upon A Time, Mad Men, the Simpsons (fuck you, it's still a good show and better than Family Guy), Dexter (Before season four when it went to shit), Pinky and The Brain, Scrubbs, How I Met Your Mother, My Little Pony (fucking duh)
Favorite books: Catcher in the Rye, Atlas Shrugged, the Fountainhead, Life of Pi, Hitchhiker's Guide, Tom Clancy, the Animorphs, and Lord of the Rings, (except for the part with fucking Tom Bombadil. So boring.)
Favorite Movies: Star Wars, Jerry McGuire, Being John Malkovich, Raising Arizona, Die Hard, Homeward Bound, the Devil Wears Prada
Least favorite food: Keesh (or Quiche or however the fuck you spell it) Fuck, that stuff's fucking gross.
Favorite word: "The."