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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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So Star was the surprise entry on the exemption list? I'm not surprised Discord would be that cruel, though it does seem unlikely he'd do it for no reason other than being his usual trolly self.
All right, obviously I can't comment on the first part of this chapter (well I can, but there's a name for that sort of behaviour and frankly the hairy palms are unsightly), but the rest... the rest... the world can be such a very cruel place at times, but there's always a glimmer of hope.
This is insanely brilliant.
Also!
Okay show of hooves and hands for everyone else who read Star Sparkle's voice as the Mother from Two and a Half Men?
Brilliant chapter. Congrats to both of you!
And I would just like to add, entirely for fantasy's sake, that I would absolutely love to read a confrontational scene between Celestia and Star. Angels would sing from on high — right before they bring out the popcorn and start taking bets...
You continue to impress
Wow this chapter had a lot going on. The humor as always is well paced and got a few chuckles out of me. Both Mike and Aarchonix do a wonderful job of portraying the characters and running an engaging dialog. The implication that Rainbow's love can die if not fed and nurtured has definitely raised the stakes of this catastrophe. Though getting permission from Rarity has definitely alleviated some of that.
I was not okay with the way he obtained permission at first until I let it settle in a bit. It was a clever way to get Rarity's thoughts on the problem as well as rainbows a bit. And the bit at the end had me in stitches. Overall I enjoyed act one immensely and look forward to the next installment of a wonderful adaptation of a classic fanfic and an alright episode with a good premise.
Well played. I am less concerned about the ultimate fate of the herd now. You're not off the hook yet, though.
(Lero, Y U sleep through spoilers?!)
Rarity wants to be a mom. Dash really didn't. How interesting.
Been wanting to say this for a while, Star reminds me of what if Daring Do was a mother. That personality just seems to mesh with that idea.
Hmm, I will tentatively okay this after my concerns with the last chapter. And getting me to do that is a more impressive feat than it might sound.
2609385
Glad you approve. Your reaction was on the forefront of my mind when I cooked up my part of the explanation. :)
Firstly, summarizing the show's villains as "scenery-chewing hams" was an act of comic genius.
Secondly, that was perhaps the most clever way Lero could've possibly navigated this moral quagmire.
I look forward to the next act, and what Lero does (indeed, what he even can do) as his friends' lives collapse around their ears without their even understanding why.
2608536
A worthy successor to Xenophila but one question...
"who's Star Sparkle"
Twilight's mother's canon name is Twilight Velvet
-------
Star Sparkle was the mare who gave birth to Twilight Sparkle.
Twilight Velvet was the mare who was Twilight's MOTHER.
Both mares are part of the same herd.
Required Reading:
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/57315/18/the-xenophiles-guide-to-equestria/interview-with-star-sparkle-its-thematic
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/70619/no-room-for-regret
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/67231/10/xenophilia-further-tales/with-smiles-and-clenching-jaws-part-one
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/67231/11/xenophilia-further-tales/with-smiles-and-clenching-jaws-part-two
2608552
There is indeed. Truly, there is.
2609362
Yeah, Rarity does. Having Lero's kid is one of Swapped Rarity's long-term goals.
And here's the funny thing: by my reckoning the 'real' Rarity, (her original self) wasn't all that interested in having kids either. Kids were something that she'd consider once she'd nabbed Mr. Right.
But if we were to magically tap into Swapped Rarity's brain, and explore the repository of new memories which the Swap Spell gave her... somewhere, in Rarity's bogus past we'd find a couple incidents where Lero and Rarity did things and said things which inspired her to want to be a mom.
That's an awesome comparison! Too rich!
2609385
Hmm, I will tentatively okay this after my concerns with the last chapter. And getting me to do that is a more impressive feat than it might sound.
Believe me, Indigo, I do feel like I've accomplished something. I'm very glad to have readers like you, (please continue to keep commenting! It's great to hear from you!)
Earlier, you'd asked me why it was that I didn't frame the last scene in Chapter Nine as a rape scene. Now I'll explain why.
Imagine you're Lero. You open the door and see what you see. Ask yourself: who's the rapist here?
Is it Twilight? After all, Twilight's got a firm grip on reality, while Rarity's does not. Could she be exploiting the fact that Rarity's under the influence of a personality-altering spell?
Or then again, maybe Rarity's to blame! Remember: Discord just told Lero that the Swapped will get quite belligerent when they're denied what-their-cutie-mark's-telling-them-to-want. Could this be the case here? If you consider how the actual sex is playing out... Rarity's completely dominating Twilight in every way. She's reduced Twilight to a sweaty, worn-out rag doll. Could it be that Rarity overpowered her friend in a fit of Cutie Swap madness, and forced herself upon Twilight?
Or maybe there IS no rapist. Perhaps the 'rapist,' (such as it is) is sheer Circumstance... the circumstance that the Swap has strong-armed them all into.
Lero really cannot say, for his mind is a blur. He's frazzled, lacks information, and two fine ladies are grinding against each other right in his foyer, and then inviting him to join the fun.
All the man knows for sure is that sex is happening in front of him.
So I went with that.
I'd guess the best best way to describe Lero at this very moment is that he has proved, to be, a real human being and a real hero.
ah arch i loved it! xD star was hilarious
as for the whole story that "dream" scenerio lero told rarity that one ended hitting me in the feels!
unconditional love is so damn beautiful!
and dat ending! o.0
2610003
So they are both rapists that are raping each other and enjoying it? I'm so confused.
2610647
So was Lero.
You're all free to disagree with me on this one, but as far as I'm concerned, neither Twilight nor Rarity actually WAS a rapist of any sort.
Yet all the same, Twilight AND Lero are aware that she's crossed a big line.
2610647
One of the lines I ended up not putting in was,
"Sometimes there are no easy answers."
This situation isn't a simple one, with easy, cut-and-dry answers. Truth resists simplicity. You can, of course, just pick a side and condemn it, but in the end, it's just people trying hard to make the best of a bizarre situation they've found themselves in, one with far-reaching consequences, and are desperately trying to prevent from falling apart around their ears.
I won't tell you what Twilight or Rarity did was right or wrong- it's not my place to- all I can do is provide you with the logic the characters used to make their decisions, hopefully well enough, that, even if you don't *agree* with it, you can understand why they did what they did.
What I initially considered to be a fun "what if?" fanfiction has turned into a very compelling, interesting, and thought provoking piece of literature. You've clearly put a lot of thought and effort into this story, and it shows. I'm eagerly looking forward to the next chapter. Bravo sir, have an Interent
2610647
You can't rape the willing
2610922
The only way we will know what is right from wrong here is when the cure is found and how they will all handle it.
What I'm waiting for is when Spike will explode onto Rarity like Lero did to RD. Spike may be smart but he is still a child that is very possessive. He's going to be shoving that ruby heart in her face soon enough.
2609668 I must confess I was rather proud of that line.
2609668
Act Two will knock your socks off, my friend.
Also, 'moral quagmire;' LOVE this term!
2611287
It's true, it's hard to judge an ethical choice in a situation like this until you see it actually play out.
As for Spike's reaction, or if it goes anywhere, I have no idea! Mike plays his cards close to his chest, I generally only know enough to write the chapter I'm working on. :)
<Spike> Rarity! I love you! I've always loved you!
<Rarity> Why, of course, Spike! I know!
<Spike> Then... ... can I be part of your herd?
<Rarity> Oh, Spikey-Wikey, you know that with the relationship between you and Twilight that would get to be so very fundamentally awkward!
<Spike> ... Oh....
<Rarity> We'll just have to keep our trysts our little secret.
<Spike> ... OH!
Yeah, preeeeeetty sure that's not how it'll play out. Though I do wonder: in swapped-verse, did Spike still fall for Rarity, or did he fall for Applejack instead? We've seen how Spike goes ga-ga for anyone with Rarity's hairstyle, so it might be the mane he goes for, hence he'd have fallen for Rarity anyhow, and thus Rarity Dash would have long since worked out how to deal with an amorous dragon as the ward of her herdsister.
<Lero> Say, Twilight! I have an idea! How about you cast that spell again, and see if it rotates again? We could just keep casting it until everyone's fixed properly.
<Twilight> But Lero, it's such a powerful spell, I'd have to wait at least a couple of months between castings! You'd have to sate the carnal urges of every one of my friends, one at a time, for two months at a time for the next entire year!
<Lero> ... I'm okay with this.
2612594
Ha!
You know, I've actually been toying, on and off, with the idea of this very thing... where Lero and Twilight would try this 'Slot Machine Solution' ...and one by one, EVERY ONE of the other Mane Six would have THEIR shot at being Lero's loving (and lusting) Rainbow Dash.
But not in Divided Rainbow, itself. A jokey set of erotic side stories, if I do it at all.
2612805
Or possibly a set of 'what-if' fics, playing out some of the different combinations that might have resulted. Assuming that Twilight herself can't be swapped and that every other pony *has* to be swapped (that is, nobody ends up with their own identity unless everyone does), you'd have 24 possible combinations to run through. Though clearly the important bit would be who ends up as the Dash. And how they'd manage to do weather manipulation. AJ would probably be the first earth pony ever to be able to lasso clouds, but be frustrated that most clouds just plain aren't within lasso reach. Fluttershy would be able to do the job, but she'd be very slow at it and be too worried about hurting the clouds to buck them to bits, so she'd have to push them aside and they'd probably float back before she was done. Rarity we've seen has weather magic but can't make the transition from 'look good' to 'function as desired.' And Pinkie would probably be able to float up on balloons... and to Discord's great glee, turn clouds into chocolate milk with her innate Pinkieness.
As for what they'd do with Lero, well, I suspect somewhere along the line he'd always end up stroking the cutie mark.
2612910
As for what they'd do with Lero, well, I suspect somewhere along the line he'd always end up stroking the cutie mark.
Ha! But believe me; they'd ALL want a lot more from Lero than a cutie stroke.
Just like Rarity!
2613000
<Lero> Twilight, we've gotta switch this one soon. AJ is a bucking bronco in bed, and if she comes down on my hipbones one more time I think two very important fruits might fall right off.
...
<Lero> Uh... you better cast that again. I was afraid Pinkie would be too energetic to keep up with, but she's used to having to give everyone else a break now and then. But she's getting out the clown suits...
...
<Lero> ... ... ... ... ... ...
<Celestia> Twilight, I don't know how you did this, but you get my sun back on my flank *now*.
...
<Lero> Twilight?
<Twilight> I heard. 'You're going to love me NOW.' Sorry, Lero, she's in heat and I need time to recharge before casting again.
<Lero> I'm doomed.
...
<Lero> ... Rainbow, do you think you can cast that spell of Starswirl's now?
<Rainbow Dash> Sure, piece of cake! But why? You've got the right two mares this time.
<Lero> In the wrong order, though. And she's still an obsessive-compulsive detail-oriented perfectionist, and now she's trying to make sure that the average curvature of every cloud over Ponyville is exactly right.
<Rainbow Dash> That doesn't sound toooooo bad?
<Lero> To six decimal places.
2613053
Too good. Just TOO good!
I love them all! Especially the one with Rainbow and Twilight taking each other's places!
Did I spy a Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann reference in there?
Damn nice job working everything into place. I REALLY felt the emotional moments, especially at the end of chapter 10.
Holy shit!
THAT WAS INCREDIBLE
It's so...so...bloody brilliant the continuity, the mine field of a plot, the development
Sweet Faust, this is great
2637298
I'm immensely flattered!
Yeah, I really tried my best to make the continuity work on all levels.
But stay tuned! The plot's going to development all the more, because our boy Lero's going to venture FURTHER into the minefield.
Admittedly, i waited untill I was sure I was ready for this chapter, and...
oh my Luna! Yeahhh I hate being right so often... Discord is EVIL enough to make sure the only parental unit who knows the truth is the one who makes Twi want to commit Matricide and/or gargle broken glass. Hopefully Star has enough real love hidden inside to actually help her daughter through this directly and maybe learn a lesson about being a parent...
So... Started Divided Rainbow tonight... And I thought I was going to get some sleep.
A few points I'd like to comment on (some from chapters other than this one, because I've been reading too bloody quickly to keep track)-
First, Lyra. Sweet Luna above, LYRA. You wrote that letter perfectly. It might be the strongest point of this so far, though not my favourite. It practically OOZES her delightful characterisation; it's so very xenoverse!Lyra. You managed to incorporate a character that is (extremely) difficult to write, while keeping her at an arm's length as the plot necessitates, while representing her characterisation flawlessly. Cue applause.
Secondly, Discord. Again, the characterisation was perfect. More than that, you used him as a plot device in a manner I will likely forever remain envious of. Brilliant, absolutely brilliant. And your screenplay-format bits were very well done, and read quite smoothly, though that comes from someone with experience reading screenplay, so take that with a
grainspoonful of salt.Thirdly, all of your references in the channel-flipping bit. Especially the Scott Pilgrim one. Actually, your humour in general has been rather... Spot-on. You speak in tropese occasionally, which is delightful. Oh, and Sesame Street Fighter. Damn.
Fourthly, you've handled your rather Audience Alienating Premise with aplomb. I started reading, very concerned about where this would lead, because I quite like the happily ever after of Xenophilia and, though this is AU, I still mentally associate them. Now, I'm just concerned enough to be STARVING for more (though I've still a couple of chapters to slam down) but not concerned enough to stop reading and try to forget the whole experience. Bravo.
So I take it this is Rarity's true self trying to reclaim her cutie mark? Frankly I hope this does not turn out to be a dark fic like... Oh what was it? The strings of fame? Oh yes! "A puppet to her fame."! The fic with Octavia that has her in such a horrible life? A very dark fic... But still a good one... Just with a bad ending like most such stories that I want to fix the story line to be less sad.
Those last two chapters made me a lot less motivated to continue reading this story, enough that I'm only now giving it a second chance after months of not even looking at it. I just don't care how Twilight justifies it, happily fucking on the floor for hours in a situation like this just isn't right. She doesn't even sound like she feels remotely bad at all for it as she describes, with all signs of enjoyment, how awesome Rarity was at getting her off, right to the face of one of the people she just cheated on. He clearly feels betrayed, like any real person would, and the way she doesn't even appear to care about his feelings makes her look completely callous. It wouldn't be nearly as upsetting if she at least acted like she felt guilty for it.
Part of what ruins my enjoyment of the story about this is that nothing can or will come of it. Their relationship is simply a pre-mandated fact about the setting and inviolate to consequences. My prediction, based on how this kind of thing tends to be written here, is that Lero will be expected to quietly swallow his feelings about the matter and not even feel resentful, while all the other characters conveniently come up with reasons to justify Twilight's behaviour. Just like what happened right there at the end of the chapter.
I think there was a bit of a missed opportunity for Lero to empathize with Twilight with the whole situation. Twilight felt like it was better to think they were in a Parallel universe, and Lero thought it was better to think of his home as being a distant planet rather than an alternate universe.
Other than that I love the moral dilemma they're facing with Rarity taking Rainbow's place.
Ah. So this is the surprise Discord mentioned. I see why he did it, too. There are just too many possibilities for entertainment.
And a love transfer is a hell of an impressive concept. It's a hell of a quandary that you have to be unfaithful in order to stay faithful.