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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Damn, that was a long chapter... It was good though - definitely an interesting take on the Nightmare Moon story-arc. I look forward to the conclusion of this tale!
Hmmm despite what Starswirl said I'm starting to think they have a lot less time than they think. Each time Lero 'helps' them it feels like he's doing what Starswirl's did and fixing the breaks in there soul. And the way Rarity is 'almost normal' I'd guess that she is close to complete. That's when Lero will realize how much his efforts were in vain.
And so we are left with as many new questions as answers. Where's my pitchfork....
Well that was..... Harsh.
And yet so very very good.
A finely crafted tale you weave sirs.
This chapter especially was a fantastic work of art. Celestia and Luna having controlled the moon and sun respectively still doesn't make much sense to me since they so obviously resemble their present charges. But everything else was so well done, how Starswirl is so long lived, to the origin of Tyrant Sun and Nightmare Moon. I especially loved the sun as a super weapon. I might need to ask permition to use that in a story of my own if it becomes relevant.
As much as I'm looking forward to seeing how the herd is getting along this was definitely a welcome addition to the story.
So Starswirl being able to wield magic that has a physical, lasting effect on the waking world pretty much confirms that Luna summoned his spirit, not just a dream representation of him, right?
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J. J. Abrams, eat your heart out.
I have to ask, Zontargs… what in particular riled you up this time?
oh man; the saddest part of all this is how the normal pony and other races suffered from the conflict. Commander Sirocco's death pained me the most of the whole chapter. I felt the same way as twilight that part. I hope the next part is gonna be more "light hearted". I don't know how to say it.
Welp, the soul synthesis spell just took out the option that the swap could have been permanent.
Great chapter, great read and great way to make me sleep at 1 am again.
I've just spent an hour and a half reading fanfiction MLP history, when I should have read about our own history and write a short essay on it for school.
...
Time. Well. Spent.
This chapter, as the earlier involving the dream, were great. Seeing everything from this perspective, and yet getting it told from different points of views at once. It all flowed very well and was interesting to read, never did it get stale as the story progressed revealing what could be of interesest for the Swap.
So, I didn't even notice all the 20k words flow by, and rather was a bit downcast when it ended.
Great worldbuilding. Great emotions shown by the spectators. And a shadowy human and alicorn, hm.
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Well, there's "Celestia the Tyrant Sun" on general principle (and get out of my headcanon for the actual causes of the civil war, Mike!), Lero jumping on my first guess for "why" and being told "actually, no, it's Tia being Tia again, so no ing clue", "Tia rewrote all of history because it made her feel bad", and "Tia wouldn't let us burn the spell, because reasons". I'm thinking that the Tyrant Sun was always in there somewhere, and not fabricated out of whole cloth by the Swap. The seeds of the Tyrant are still there, and every once in a while, a leaf breaks the surface...
Good chapter.
Welp, that was certainly some serious exposition. I quite enjoyed it.
Now then, I don't think Twilight was giving herself as much credit that she deserved when Starswirl was comparing horns with her. She is still very young and he was using his centuries of experience. Hope she realizes this anyway. Though it is necessary that she looks into the power that friendship magic holds, a magic that Starswirl never studied.
Nicely done on integrating fandom Nightmare vs Tyrant Celestia with show canon. Wonderfully shocking and horrifying. Though it makes the present relationship that Luna and Celestia make all the more interesting. By the time Luna did come back they were almost two different ponies thanks to that spell.
The conclusion of this chapter did confirm my suspicion that in the end Twilight has to save her friends. Lero is sort of making the situation better and worse at the same time. The ponies are not self-destructive anymore, but then they are now comfortable with their fake lives. Twilight needs to figure this all out.
I would say I'd like to hear more about Frederico, but a story focusing on him would probably only dilute the badass.
4465687 The point is how to make such a story. Answer is simple. Each chapter tells different story of his. That'll be interesting to read if done with humor and powah.
Honestly, I'm starting to feel that this story has jumped the shark. I do love this chapter and the last, but the combination of celestia and luna having swapped colour palettes originally and the sun also being a literal death-star are just too much for my suspension of disbelief.
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I'm sorry, but you are mistaken about one thing, my friend.
While their cutie marks were swapped, their color palettes never were. Luna's always had a darker pelt, and Celestia's always had a bright one:
I am glad you enjoyed this chapter, though, Radmelon!
Fredrico DonQuiote ?? Could be lots of fun. and tea parties, and how to cross the Rainbow to Cloudsdale? I suspect theres a Meghan in there somewhere.
The story of the war, take the worse known about and there will always be worse unseen and forgotton etc.
Steampunk Fusion Orbital Defence Cannon yaay. Just one thing. If Starswirl came up with teh whole load of Time maniplation spells etc, where would that put me claiming to come up with Virtualisation Spell Runes? I wonder if Starswirls antiaging spell worked the horribly complex way of sliding his spacial frame backwards aling his timeline, making the neurins younger while leaving the physical memories and wisdom, or the far smpler way of ust reach back so many decades along his timeline, and read his physical form back then, and replace his curent aged form with th copy of his younger form with a modified teleport? Wonder if Dark Magic would include putting a form clone in a stasis field out of time, would you be called a necromancer?
Yaay, someone who uses the idea of magic being intelligent. How else can it discern between a rock falling off a cliff, and one pushed malevolently off a cliff, if you have cast the protection spell to only protect against malevolence? That would then put magic as Sidhe Glamour?
Here little magic, I gotta Pinkie Pie who wants to give you a party.
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I like the way you think, Booster.
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What I meant by swapped was that luna was the sun, but her colours were unchanged. I know we've all had the discussion about how it's odd, but I was just adding that as a further reason I'm finding it hard to suspend disbelief. I worded it somewhat vaguely.
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Heh, when I Really start thinking, my brain heats up so much it triggers PIR sensors.
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I don't really agree. Being comfortable with your new self is not the same thing as having a fully functional identity that's stronger that two other lives put together. You might be right in that it's sped up the process, but I don't think by a significant margin.
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I really don't get why this is such a big deal to so many people. How does your coloration determine what you're good at?
Heh, It came up because I needed someway to show Tyrant Sun had had become completely unhinged, and I'd not long ago read the Ink Monkey's blog writeup of the Dirigible Engine Daystar, and the image of the sun unfolding to reveal a superweapon was too awesome to pass up.
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Depends, what exactly are the capabilities of Dream Echos, if they're a thing? Honestly, my original intent was to leave this super-vague, and my first draft didn't have him give the spell at all- I intended Twilight to get it later in a different way, but Mike decided he wanted it there, and he's the boss.
4462819
Yeah, that wasn't part of my original draft, Mike added it in because he wanted to further emphasize how the war affected all ponies, regardless of position. When I read it, my reaction was a similar, "Holy crap", too.
Nah, as Starswirl mentions, given time, the Swap would become permanent. He made Soul Synthesis because the swap was already broken, he didn't have time to way even if it wasn't, and he'd given up on a cure.
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I'm very proud of my answer to "How do we show this all without it being a cliche flashback or a boring infodump?" and tying it into earlier scenes to boot.
Yes, that will become relevant... elsewhere. >_>
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"General Principal"? You don't like the concept? Or are upset we did the idea first? As for the causes of the war- those were my idea, blame me if you must blame someone.
Actually, the reason she gave the spell to Twilight and the reason she refused to destroy it are related, but the details are spoilers. (Ironically, the scene where she explains this to Twilight was where I was going to have her give Soul Synthesis, but Mike wanted that here.)
Celestia is deeply ashamed and horrified by what she did, and that is a factor in why she hid it, but there's a multitude of other reasons, some of which are mentioned in the story.
I agree, in the context that there's a monster inside everyone, ready to emerge when the situation is right. Put the calm, serene moon goddess in a position of intense, seemingly unending stress while she's already mentally compromised? Bam, Tyrant. And I agree, while the Soul Synthesis gave her a much broader capability to cope with it, she still has that darkness inside her, just as everyone does.
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It's kinda funny that you stumble across the exact point Starswirl was making, while not noticing he was trying to make it. I guess he's that good a teacher. Starswirl is a genius, there's no question of that- magic comes absurdly easy to him. On the same note, He's very bad at relating to and maintaining relationships with people. If I had to armchair psychologically diagnose him, I'd probably pin him as a high-functioning Autistic. He blew away all of Twilight's early accomplishments, despite them being exceptional- but then, at the end, she blasts past him in terms of mystical success. and there was a single factor that caused that rocket-like ascension: She had met her friends.
Thank you. I had to watch that scene over and over to make sure I matched it up as close as possible.
They functionally are. If I had more time/space, I would have defined past Celestia/Lumina more and highlighted how they were different, but that'd take way too much focus away from the main plot and take up too much room. I hope my hints of what they were like and how they different is enough.
I personally believe Lero's doing more good than harm. and don't worry, I'm sure Twilight will figure it out.
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Heh, thanks, guys. Mike and I put in allot of work making the OCs in this, and I think it paid off. Mike originally pitched the Donkey rep as a generic "Guy with a personality quirk." and I'm. "No. Donkies get no respect. They're not mythical, not magical, everyone makes them the butt of ass jokes (even if they're too nice to take offense), and it's wrong. We are going to make the most awesome Donkey, ever." Inspiration-wise, He's a mash-up of Fernando from Murder Brothers and, of course, The Most Interesting Man In The World.
Stay donkey, my friends.
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Again, apologies if my overenthusiastic ideas has impaired your enjoyment. It really wasn't my intent.
I... again... really don't get why this is a big deal?
Ok, guilty as charged here. As noted before, I tend to like my fantasy, well, fantastic, and am a bit fan of unusual cosmologies, and am a big believer in the Rule of Cool. Before you dismiss the story, ask yourself: Why is the idea the sun is an artifact superweapon harder to swallow than the concept that it's moved about by a physical deity?
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If it could happen, Fredirico can make it happen
I agree! Yay!
I'm not familiar with what those are?
My conception is rather simple- Time is a quantifiable thing to magic, so he simply removes excess time.
Agreed. Magic being at least semi-sentient is the only way it makes sense.
YAY, PINKIE PARTY!
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I don't know why the colour thing is such a big deal, all I know is that it really rustles my jimmies. Wierd but true. Frankly, the suncannon thing is only a problem for me because while awesome, it raises a ton of questions such as who built it, what did they use before it, and what kind of targets are they pointing it at that wouldn't end up also killing the planet from AoE?
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Oddly, the reverse is true with me. No personal offense, but the concept of what color you are limiting or defining what you can and can't do comes off as somewhat... racist, and makes me rather uncomfortable. But I really tell people how to feel.
As for it's origins, that's well outside of the scope of this story- one can assume the same beings that created Equestria, whoever they are.
As for it's intended use and previous usages? Well, if we take the material it's based on, it was intended to destroy Fair Folk so spiritually massive they could easily be mistaken for continents (Earth is lucky in that it doesn't have enough ambient magic to support the truly ridiculous Fae), and it was only fired once- to deflect a planet on collision course.
I think it was a missed opportunity to use the show's version of Nightmare Moon's conversion. During the fight with Celestia I was assuming that Starswirl's spell would dump all the good in one, and all the bad in another. "Victory? Is that all you care about? Fine! You will have your precious victory! Though I guarantee you will not enjoy it!"
The "Bask in your precious sun" line kinda makes sense in this context, a little, in a squinty head-tilty kind of way, but mostly it still feels as much of an arse-pull as it did in the show. I'm not sure it fits the parts earlier about black magic turning Luna's coat steadily darker. Given the things both princesses did during this war, Luna is pretty much Nightmare Moon already. So what's the purpose or benefit in the transformation? Cosmetic changes? It just doesn't seem to fit any more. Except as a railroad to get us back to Luna being banished for a thousand years.
Also, referencing the mysterious brief look of fear and confusion without explaining it at all? Minus ten million points.
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Oh, don't worry, I'm not waving pitchforks at you, just at the characters. That was all well done, Mike and I just have a running ha-ha-only-serious "joke" on the subject.
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Concerning the donkey thing. I know what you are talking about. I play with a group of role-players and as mlp lovers we decided to have our first adventure in Equestria. This was my first time doing this kind of game...so I chose to play a donkey.
That donkey essentially became the batman of Equestria. A badass if there ever was one.
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Lets see, how best to describe Virtual Runes. Lets use the Sun cannon as an example, but lets use EE Doc Smith version instead. In the Equestrian version, the sun itself contains the heavy defense weapon, in its entirity. In EE Doc Smith Lensman series, the Sun Beam weapon is created by using the Sun merely as the power source, then manipulating entire fleets of powered asteroids to act as reflectors, modulators, focusing elements and such. Now, imagine instead of building the complex control mechanisms, its calculated how to create those control mechanisms from the interaction of the energy flow and the asteroids and other materials themselves. That is, you dont have to worry about the power cables breaking, when the power cables are self sustaining plasma conduits, where the more power flows through tem, the bigger they get. Yes, there is a limit to the power, and that is a density function that causes gravitational collapse, which is a very useful function to include if you dont want it to occur. You can cause local failiure by overloading a conduit with even more weapons energy, but that leads to the most unfortunate effects if you cant handle the runaway cascade collapse. Especially if its Quantum.
In the Equestrian version, the asteroid belt would be replaced with Diamond Dog mines, Crystal Empire deliveries, Earth Pony forests and farms, Pegasi cloud and weather patterns, and maybe Unicorn magic control injection, though pasive safety defaults are far better. Other races, areas can of course be created the same. Such as if the Griffons have a giant mountain citadel. The Buffalos stampeding grounds, We need more information on the Minotaurs. All these races can have constructions that were created by a genius in order to give at least a one time protection agains the full attack of a rogue alicorn or equivalent incoming threat. Fredrico Donquiote Davinci?
I wonder just how large an energy transform, reflection sructure exists within the Everfree, or even, the Everfree exists possibly along with other areas in the world, because they are regions where the largely smoothed magic from Pony lands forces the more extreme valed random fluctuations to contentrate. As such, everything is in dynamic equilibrium?
Ah. sorry for the wallotext. Ill be hiding in The Shed.
4469322
What I meant was, if Twilight fails in finding the cure, then she'll have something to fall back on, preventing a scenario where herd Bellerophon has to deal with the new changes for the rest of their lives.
Now that was a nice read. Interesting take on events, but I don't much care for the new lunar republic nonsense.
Donkey is a cool guy, has tea with dragons and doesn't afraid of anything. I do hope to see more of him.
Lero making an ass of himself in front of starswirl was pretty amusing.
I presume those shadowy forms are the ones from the comics?
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Except... why on earth would it do that? I mean, neat concept, but makes no sense in context.
It's explicitly sarcasm here, since she just saw her nearly blow up the damn planet with the sun.
"Pretty Much" is not the same thing as "Actually is".
Except all those things are related. See, in the show, when she starts to transform, an expression crosses her face that looks confused, or uncertain, and maybe afraid- which leads me to believe her transformation isn't voluntary, or under her control. In the comic, it's explicitly that the Nightmare creatures took her over, but I left it vague here, as there's no need to define it- but Starswirl explicitly states something took her over, and presents a few theories on what it is just a few paragraphs later! I wasn't tossing it in there just to be cute!
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Hey, no problem. That actually reminds me of some things from the source I got the concept from. If you want to talk more, you can always message me so we don't keep cluttering up the comments. ^^
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...That...
That... That's explicitly is what the Soul Synthesis spell does. It makes the swap permanent, as in irreversible. The only reason you want to cast it is if you've given up on fixing it and want to cure/prevent the insanity the swap can cause.
Did I just explain it really badly?
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It was a civil war, I needed two sides, so why not steal the concept already floating around in the fandom.
Considering he died about a thousand years ago, and I just blew my backstory load? Probably not in DR. I have no problems with other people using him. Hey, maybe in Oneshots?
Hmmmm, Looking back, I wonder if the Anecdote Luna was telling two chapters ago was about him?
To be fair, SStB was being kinda a jerk himself.
Which shadowy figured from the comics are you referring to?
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Nah, Its not you. I tend to read something quickly when I'm excited and miss a few things and important details fly over my head. I always reread things.
I had to reread the last harry potter book three times to get all the details.
Hole-e- fecal matter, I just realised what this meant:
Time to read it again!
4479583
Up until then the only context was needing a good Celestia and bad Luna/NMM. Though sure, everything that comes after jossed the idea very throughly.
It's explicite shoe-horning. The show canon was well animated but naratively it sucked plot big time. Luna is jealous (because reasons!) and decides to get rid of her sister (because reasons!) so she suddenly casts a spell (that's supposed to do something!) but it goes wrong (because reasons!) and then she tries to kill her sister. And the whole thing is wrapped up in five minutes. It's really stupid writing on multiple levels, and referencing does nothing for this story. The comic version is even worse, as it completely robs her of agency, turning her from an interesting character into a glorified meat puppet.
THIS version is better. YOUR version is better. After that is was very jarring to suddenly encounter a quote from an inferior vision on the same moment of history. Luna has a reason (or at least several possible reasons) to take Celestia down. But jealously really isn't one of them any more.
I kinda got the impression that Luna and Celestia were both comitting warcrimes on a grand scale. What does Nightmare Moon do exactly that's worse? Or in any way comparable? The whole Night That Never Ends loses quite a bit of its bite when the world explicitely does not run on newtonian physics, it's also pretty instantly reversable unlike Celestia's very final plan, and Luna is actively researching ways for species to survive. The story doesn't provide any narration showing that Luna has gone off the deep end as Celestia had done.
I know Luna being banished to the moon is the foundation of the show's mythology, but you had a better way at your fingertips, and I can't help but feel you dropped it for a worse one.
Whether you intended it or not, I'm afraid it kinda came across that way.
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Nightmare Rarity arc
Well, I meant in the context of the mechanics of the setting, not the story. At that point, the swap was dead, there wasn't any metaphysical connection between the two any more, outside of having fragments of each other's souls crudely jammed into each other. Soul Synthesis was made to make those souls merge together seamlessly and stop the madness, so there was no way the evil could have been shifted between them.
And?
I dunno, I tend to like to stick to canon as closely as possible, not changing anything unless absolutely necessary, maybe depicting it in a slightly different light or giving it new context. I mean, we're fans of the show. We want to play in the world, right? We like the place. What's the point of changing things you don't need to? You just distance yourself from what you liked in the first place.
But maybe that's just me.
I can't disagree. The confrontation was beautiful, but narratively very rushed, especially for such a pivotal moment in the setting.
The show kinda explicitly stated her reasons, even if they don't delve into it much.
Here, because she was the happy-go-Lucky sun goddess forced to rule over the night, while her sister became a cruel governess.
Because how else can she make it eternal night if her sister just moves the sun?
She... cast the spell to eclipse the sun. Which we see her do. It's actually a nice echo of Celestia's pose during the Summer Sun Celebration.
Well, more the spell goes right, but triggers the transformation as an unintended consequence.
I agree- the sequence had no point to be there, except be pretty, and it could have been done better. And I excuse the later saying that the nightmares don't truly control her, but rather find weaknesses in which they use to corrupt one's desires. They took Luna's loneliness and desire to be needed and adored, and twisted it until she was willing to murder her sister to get it. Which is important.
My perspective is that villains work best when they have relatable motivations. That's why Nightmare Moon/Luna worked It's hard not to sympathize with someone who feels lonely and unappreciated, and envious of those who are celebrated even if it drives them to do terrible things. Ultimately, Luna was driven to claim what Celestia had, or reclaim in this case. While there were other reasons, they're largely justifications to her for the terrible things she does to get what she wants.
Intentionally provoking and aiding sedition? Committing treason? Delving into forbidden, dark magics that are known to be corrupting? experimenting on sentient subjects? intending to alter the ecosystem on a global scale on her own authority, whether everyone wants it or not? These are all actions of a balanced, rational mind?
As for what's "worse", well, two lines...
and
That was the pinnacle of her corruption and downfall- the point where she flat-out openly stated that she intends to murder Celestia- as it is the ultimate nadir of her corruption arc. It's not a "Defeat you", or "Capture you, put you on trial, and legally execute you when found guilty of war crimes", it's flat-out murder, even when she's refusing to fight back.
Of course, you might ask, "How is that any different from Celestia's threatened Genocide?" It's not, really- that was sort of the point. She was on the verge of going over into full-on monster mode, too- it's just that Starswirl got to her first, and she wasn't quite as vulnerable due to not having used Dark magic.
Well, let me say I'm flattered you thought my work was better, especially to the point where you became upset when I didn't live up to your expectations.
If you insist. I personally felt I had enough cue to explain it, but I can't be everything for every reader.
Thanks for taking the time out to talk to me about it.
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The figures Lero spots? Nah, they're unrelated.
I loved the most interesting donkey in the world. (He didn't always drink beer, but when he did, he preferred Dos Equus.)
Hmm... Stable time loop? Something for the finale? I'll have to wait and see there...
I quite like the idea of dark magic being called such not because of inherent evil, but because it transgresses against the natural order. Nothing wrong with that sort of thing; all of civilization is a transgression against the natural order.
All in all, a fantastic chapter. White's tyranny clashing with black's individuality, with poor beleaguered blue in the middle, trying to study its way back to the peace its experiments disrupted...
Sorry. It fits too well for me not to see it through the lens of card games.
In any case, eagerly looking forward to more.
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I'm not a fan of the concept of types of magic are inherently "evil". Dark Magic is power for a cost. It does things easily that normal magic has a hard time with, but with a cost- it's corruptive, distorting and changing your body and spirit. it gave Sombra, a normal Unicorn power enough to oppose two Alicorns, and while not enough to win, enough to force them into a Pyrrhic victory- but in exchange, his form became unstable, and when hit by a coherent wave of love, he was torn apart.
*grins* Well, let me put it this way: I am a fan of Magic, and am known to steal some of their themes and motifs on occasion.
mind blown.
OK, so I'm commenting halfway through this, because I have to say: You, sir, have made Starswirl easily the most awesome Unicorn EVER! This guy was a boss!
Your descriptions of his skills make it perfectly clear why Twilight would look up to him. He was truly the Archmage.
So is Fredrico: DonQuiote or The most interesting man (Donkey) in the world?
He is, the most interesting Donkey in the world...
*Queue music*
"I don't always drink Rainbows, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis. Stay hooved, my friends!"
I absolutely love this alternate take on Luna's fall, making her so much more justified.
I also adore the magical technobabble and just how much sense it makes.