Nubmer ffirst
the spiderses
by ~Argembarger
It was a beutiful spring daty in equestrias when tilight sparkle was in her study where she lived. Spike! She sayd, come here spike! And spike camed over to her, What do you want Twilight spike said and twilight said "Spike I need you to gt me the book of magic ok spike said I will get it for you and he went over to the bookshelf to get the book for Twilight Sparkle. It was a dusty book and spike almost sneezed but he didn't.
He gaved the book to twilight and she said thank you spike go away now" and spike said ok I will go away and he slided away like a dragon. TWlilight opened the pook to chapter 5 and said ok magic please happen and the magic began happening in her horn and she did the spell!
it was a magic spell and she knew that it was magic which is why she casted it because her cutie mark is magic because she is a uunicorn.
The spell made everything bigger and eight. "why is everything bigger and eight?>?" wilight said. oh it is because i am a spider now :(
spider twilight wet up to the bookshelfs to find a fix spell to fix the spell. but she culdn't open teh books or even grab them because she was a spider and not a unicorn and her horn was gone and also she did not have a voice that coudl speak loud enough for spike to hear her adn go get her book for her adn even if she did she probably woulnt want to because Spiek would see her as a spider and maybe get scared or angry and then stomp all ove r her which would make her dead spider twilight abd that is bad.
and then she herd a voice well not really a voice but it sounded like another spider! she oculd understand the spider clicks and she new that it was a spider and that she had to go and talk to this other spider because that is what spiders do (talk to other spiders)
a red spider appeared and said "helo twilight I am a big mac spider now?? why' and twilight spider said "uh big mac spider is it because I casted a spell that wsent wrong" and the big red macspider said ok well maybe but can you fix it and twilight said :(
oh ok said the red spider wlell if we are going to be spiders forever lets have spider sex and twilight spider said ok well but i don't know how to have spider sex and big spider mac red said it is probably easy ok are you ok with this i am asking permission to have spider sex with you
twilight said i dunno spiders are creepy and weird :(
and then big mac said twilight WE ARE SPIDERs
and then tiwlight said you have point ok i guess we haf to make the most of it right
and then big mac said that is the spirit yes ok spider sex
they started to have spider sex and it felt rely wieird for twilight but twilight nevr even had normal regualr pony sex so spider sex was the weirdest most strage thing ever. it was like a crunchy potato chip bag full of chips got throwed into an chainlink fence and i dont know wer this metaphor goesing. amynore.
after the spiders sex twilight felt funny on the inside like something real not normal. big mac spider said is it ok twilight spider if i live here with you so we can have more spider sex and twighti said i dunno i gues so but i dont want to hav spider sex for a while that was werid :( and big mac spider red said this is ok i will wait for you to be ready beacuase i am a gentlespider and twilight said ok i appercieate it.
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what the hell did I just read, dude so many grammer errors....
5574
Obvious trollfic is obvious.
Thiz... thiz iz, da bast fanficl Ive evl reed.
Nice story, but TOO MANY F*CKING GRAMMAR ERRORS! This could be a good story, but you just had to f*ck it up.
161720 You don't recognise the most famous trollfic of all time?
Oh so everyone on EqD just says it's the best cuz it's a trollfic? I don't understand, what, why, how, the hay is this.
THIS IS HILARIOUS!
try writing the story again but, in Word document, then copy and paste it over here
469126
Uh, alright, whatever you say.
It was a beutiful spring daty in equestrias when tilight sparkle was in her study where she lived. Spike! She sayd, come here spike! And spike camed over to her, What do you want Twilight spike said and twilight said "Spike I need you to gt me the book of magic ok spike said I will get it for you and he went over to the bookshelf to get the book for Twilight Sparkle. It was a dusty book and spike almost sneezed but he didn't.
He gaved the book to twilight and she said thank you spike go away now" and spike said ok I will go away and he slided away like a dragon. TWlilight opened the pook to chapter 5 and said ok magic please happen and the magic began happening in her horn and she did the spell!
it was a magic spell and she knew that it was magic which is why she casted it because her cutie mark is magic because she is a uunicorn.
The spell made everything bigger and eight. "why is everything bigger and eight?>?" wilight said. oh it is because i am a spider now
spider twilight wet up to the bookshelfs to find a fix spell to fix the spell. but she culdn't open teh books or even grab them because she was a spider and not a unicorn and her horn was gone and also she did not have a voice that coudl speak loud enough for spike to hear her adn go get her book for her adn even if she did she probably woulnt want to because Spiek would see her as a spider and maybe get scared or angry and then stomp all ove r her which would make her dead spider twilight abd that is bad.
and then she herd a voice well not really a voice but it sounded like another spider! she oculd understand the spider clicks and she new that it was a spider and that she had to go and talk to this other spider because that is what spiders do (talk to other spiders)
a red spider appeared and said "helo twilight I am a big mac spider now?? why' and twilight spider said "uh big mac spider is it because I casted a spell that wsent wrong" and the big red macspider said ok well maybe but can you fix it and twilight said
oh ok said the red spider wlell if we are going to be spiders forever lets have spider sex and twilight spider said ok well but i don't know how to have spider sex and big spider mac red said it is probably easy ok are you ok with this i am asking permission to have spider sex with you
twilight said i dunno spiders are creepy and weird
and then big mac said twilight WE ARE SPIDERs
and then tiwlight said you have point ok i guess we haf to make the most of it right
and then big mac said that is the spirit yes ok spider sex
they started to have spider sex and it felt rely wieird for twilight but twilight nevr even had normal regualr pony sex so spider sex was the weirdest most strage thing ever. it was like a crunchy potato chip bag full of chips got throwed into an chainlink fence and i dont know wer this metaphor goesing. amynore.
after the spiders sex twilight felt funny on the inside like something real not normal. big mac spider said is it ok twilight spider if i live here with you so we can have more spider sex and twighti said i dunno i gues so but i dont want to hav spider sex for a while that was werid and big mac spider red said this is ok i will wait for you to be ready beacuase i am a gentlespider and twilight said ok i appercieate it.
chapter two : spiders
there was a living like that for a while time where they lived together and had some spider sex sometimes but only when twilight felt extra sorry for big mac. spidke was downstairas and crying lotgs because he didnt nkow where twilight went to and twilight wanted to go make spike feel less ad but she was a spider and couldn't talk?
twilights belly got bigger and bigger and she didn t know wat was hapneing and then spider mac red big said uh i tink you might be getting redy to have spider babies : and twilight said WATTT and big mac said "eeyup" excupt for he couldn't actually make that word sound because he was a spider and doesn't have pony voice boxes anymore.
twilight was real sad and upset because spider babies were gross and creepie and wierd and she creid an little bit but big mac red spider gaved her the biggest mos happy hug ever and said i always watned to be a daddy and even though i didnt want to be a spider daddy i will try to be the best spider daddy ever and be here for you all the times and ok? and twilight felt the most happy but still was not happy at the same time.
then one day twilight had to laye spider egegs adn it was the most strangest it felt like a bubble wrap bubbles being poopd out. and then she was sad and upset agin but big mac spider was tehere the hole time and made her comfort. he borught her spider food which was bugs and twilight was finally ok with eating bugs with spider big macs help she nkew she had to eat them to be alive and being alive was more good than eating bugs was bad so she did it and was sad and upset because the bugs were gross but it was ok becas she was a life.
bbig mac spider helpd her gaurd the eggs for many many many many days until one day the egs were very big and had dark thins movin around inside of them and twilight knew they were her babies and she was kind of happy a little bit and big mac was happy because she was happy and then she was even happier because big mac was happy but they didnt hav espider sex because big mac new how much twilight didn t like that because it felt werid and also she didnt want to have more babvies and neither did he really but he was redy to be the best spider daddy so that twilight didndt have to worrie.
a fter a few more a days the eggs started moving and they knew that the eggs were going to hatch because twilight was smart and she knew all about eggs. they watched the egg pile of eggs move around and then they heard little baby spider clicks and they new it was the baby spiders and they watched even more much.
The eggs all hatched simultaneously and vast multitudes of tiny spiderlings swarmed out in a screeching horde. Twilight and Big Mac started to scuttle away as quickly as they could, but they soon found that they were in no real danger - the spiderlings had no intention of killing their parents. They witnessed a solid black mass of itchy screaming death cover every surface of the library. Millions of spiders continued to swarm out of the eggs. The flood seemed to be endless.
Spike lay curled up in his little dragon bed, moping. Things hadn't been the same since Twi's dissappearance, and it had been over a week since he had any decent ideas about what to do about it. He was depressed and miserable.
Suddenly, he heard a scratching, high-pitched noise coming from upstairs. His curiosity overcame his melancholy and he plodded up to investigate.
He was intercepted by a solid wall of spiderlings pouring down the stairwell, which overwhelmed him almost instantly.
Spike had just enough presence of mind to scream, but doing so did nothing but allow the swarm of spiders access to his lungs and stomach. The spiderlings drained his fluids for sustenance, and Spike died in horrible terror and agony.
chpapter three : spiderday
allf the spiders runed away from twilight and red spimder mac and tehy didn't know what to do tbecause they were so many spiders of the eggs. big Mac said "hey you spider babies you are my spider babies now litsen to me!!!" and but the spider babeids didn't listen because they were making too much noise but they wuld of listen if they could because mac spider was they're daddy and they luved him and there mommy tewilight more than any of the bugs even the juicy ones.
big mac spider said to twilight spider "i am so sorroy I am the wurst spidder daddy even tho i promised I was gonning to be the best one even " Twilight felt really bad and sorry for big mac spider because she knew that he tried his best and but if there wasn't an biggest problem happening she would give him the hugs.
twilight thought hardest with having ideas and then had one idea "spider big come here and help me ok" and spider mac sd alright what do you want me to do twilight and?" twilight said I need yo to throw me into the spiders and red mac said are you sure?????/? you tohugt spiders were creepy and wierd! and twilight said I knmow but i need too do this ok becaus big mac, WE AR SPIDERSs and big mac said ok"
Big mac pickeded her up by her legs with his legs and thre wher at the spider babies. She screamed a little bit but not really becasue she was trying to be brave like rainbow dash would be brave if she was a spider and flying at spider babies.
Then finally after falling for time she landed in thes pider babies and they diddnt know she was their mom because they were still just babies and crawling annd twilight spider tried to click at them to stop but they didnt know waht to do because babies are confused
Big mac watched all the babies carry Twiilight away and he felt the most terribel and sad and said ' it is my fault that twilight is being carreid away by spider babies because i aws the one who had spider sex with her and she made babies because
I have to resuce her! he sed"
chapter 4: when spidrs are
I dont like this ? twilight spider thoguht I wish big mbac waer here he nows what to do every time!
but big mac was chsasing her and the spider pabies and she didnt know it
it was wery exciting.
all the spiders ran thru equestria and all the ponies were scared and ran into house but except for one pone who stood in teh street and angry!
Stop spiders! she said and they stopped
an big brown spider jumped off of her hed (her head was gray and her coat was gray too and her hair was straighT) and the spider was bronw and big and made angry click.
Twilight heard the clicks clicking and knew that the spider had name: miriam webster! and miram webster spider told all the baby spiders to stop being bad! tehy coudln't do what they did because what they did was something bad to do! and they had to stop and listen to their mommy spider like spiders do every
Twilight mom spider thoguht rely hard and all the baby spiders watched her and then big mac got over to where she was and said 'twilight Im so glad your ok!" and twilight said "ssh I'm thinking" and big smider mac said "oh ok sorry
Twiligth said I love you baby spiders but you did bad thing and made my friend spike dead! why you do that? and pelase so go make spike better and then go to everfee forest wer u belong as spiders! it will be" ok?
and the spiders said ok mommy and they wetn back to where sipke was and tehy barfed all his juice back and he was better! spike said t"henk you spiders you are my best friends ' and the spiders made a happy face and then they hugged but this time they didn't drain all of spike's vital fluids
then the spiders all listened to mommy twilight and wet to the Eferfree forest where spiders live happy and free and it was good
Twilight and big mac spider red talked to miram and the gray pony listened (the gray pony was pinkie pies sister from cutie mark chronicles and she worked on the rock farm in case you were wondering) and twilight clicked thank you! to miriam webster and miram websetr clicked its ok listen twilight spider I am a wizard and I know yo and the big mac spider are not spiders at all but ponys who are spiders by accident?? do you want to be ponies again
chapter 5 : the end spider end
twilidn and big mac said yes! we want to be ponies again and miram sadi ok here I will do my spider magic and the spider magic happened! twilight and big mac were ponies again! they gave each other a big pony hug and because they were friends from being spiders together and it was good
Miram clicked and they cudlnt understand it anymore because they were ponies and not spiders but the gray pony (pinkie pies sister) could undersand and she transtated the spider speak to pony speech and so they could talk some more
Miram said i hope you learned something from being a spider and Twilight said yes I did I will always remember! and I am aslo happy because I made a big mac friend and big mac said eeeyup and then big mac said listen twilight about being spiders and twilight said its ok big mac I understand and we can still be very good freinds forever ok? and big mac said ok
Thank you miriam I said and miraim said did you learn anyhting and I thought about it really extra hard and I sed yes I did learn something but I will tel celestia about that ok? and miram said 'that is fair" and
then I saw my bestest friend in the world Argembarger who was the most hadnsome aleicorn in eqeustria! and Argembarger siad "helo twilight it has been a llong time" and i feel mysef blushikng because of how charming Argembarger alicorn was and I said yes it was had been a long time do hyou think we can spend some time alone together?? and he sed "I don't think so Twilight I have lots of important things to do becase I am an alicorn but mabe someday ok" and I was very sad because he was teh niceset alicorn ever but I said I understand adn he flew away and it was amazing!! I was so impressed and amazed and happy taht I got to see him
then I went back to the library and found spike and gave him the biggest most happy hug ever because he was happy to see me because I was gone for so long because I was spider and I said spike pease take a leter and he said ok I will take a letter spike and then spike took a letter
Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned that spiders are creepy, but being a spider is better than being dead. Your faithful studnt, Twilight Spackle
the end of the storei! you can stop reading now thank you for readingh my story
"it was like a crunchy potato chip bag full of chips got throwed into an chainlink fence and i dont know wer this metaphor goesing. amynore."
This caused me to laugh my ass off.
469168
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i lost it at "it is probably easy ok are you ok with this i am asking permission to have spider sex with you"
201242 This isn't the most famous trollfic... I think we all know what that is.
674690
Dianetics?
I love this so much.
*looks at tags*
Is Flam one of the spider babs? I bet he is.
Big Mac: Twilight, is that you? I recognize your hairy purple butt.
Lol, thanks FIMflamfilosophy.
I can't even read this. I could spend all day correcting your grammar.
Are you five?
how come my book will not be approved but this will no hate against this story but what the heck?
For a trollfic, it's just... not amusing enough. When creating a trollfic you're not bound to any rules any more, you can ridicule all trends, you can make your imagination running so wild... This is just boring though.
WTF!!! REALLY!! ARE YOU FIVE!!!
I really hope that you're putting in grammatical errors on purpose, because if not
spider sex is hot
I think I just brained my damaged.
Oh my god. I literally can't read this because in order to read my eyes must be able to see the screen, and since I'm rolling on the floor dying from asphyxiation from laughing I'm unable to finish this right now.
Ok magic please happen
XD
Don't mean to be a buzzkill...but this is a trollfic, right?
I don't know why, but... I laughed so hard just by reading the first paragraph.
You know, I'm actually impressed. It seems to me like it would be really HARD to write something full of obvious spelling errors and blatantly atrocious grammar, yet still be readable. I had a bizarrely easy time following the sequence of events.
And it's always fun when a character's line of dialogue is presented as :(
Wh-what the bloody hell is this?!
I don't care if this is a trollfic, the grammatical errors in the first few sentences-nay, the chapter titles themselves-gave me cancer. 
I'm just gonna go hide in that corner over there and caress a dictionary while rocking back and forth crying...
5574 Says the pony who misspelled 'unicorn.'
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share.gifyoutube.com/yaWowk.gif
The peacock spider, maratus jactatus, also known as the "Sparklemuffin" spider performs it's mating dance for big spider mac red.
That or it's trying to guide a helicopter to a landing pad.
kids.nationalgeographic.com/content/content/dam/news/2015/03/24/peacockspider/01peacockspider.adapt.676.1.jpg
kids.nationalgeographic.com/content/content/dam/news/2015/03/24/peacockspider/02peacockspider.adapt.676.1.jpg
This reminded me of video:
3119169
I clopped...
troll.me/images/jackie-chan-whut/wtf-did-i-just-read.jpg
5270135 he did no such thing unicron was the name of a transformer
I've read a lot of garbage in my day, but I get the strong impression that this was done intentionally. If so, it's a damn good spoof of those terrible fics. This is going on my favorites list.
when twilight said :( i felt that
9810403
It was so deep
Two paragraphs in and I'm already laughing my ass off
That is a good trollfic and now I ask myself. What the fuck did I just actually read?