- Member Since 25th Sep, 2012
- offline last seen Jan 7th, 2022
MercilessKing
I don't even know what this is...
MercilessKing
Joined 25th Sep, 2012 ·
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- Vocal · 3.4k words · 899 views
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a gildaxoc story I've been waiting for one of these
Ok. I think I know the sources of the thumb downs (hear me out.)
Seems a bit choppy, could use some smoothing over, some details added, some spaces between paragraphs. Mainly the choppy/abruptness is disconcerting at some points. Maybe a proof-reader/editor? (nothing major, just smoothing out sentence structure,) Adding details would really help too.
Also, some people don't like Gilda with anyone.
That being said....I look forward to seeing where this story goes!
2266913 Really? It doesn't seem anymore patchy than my first story to me. I'll look into that, though, so thanks for the input.
2266403 I'm happy to appeal to your fantasies. ...I guess...
2268143
No problem! Not so much patchy, as choppy (doesn't seem smooth at points....)
dawwww
dude please swich the rating to mature I what to see some clop
3110514 Duly noted!! I am such an idiot! I didn't even think about that when I decided to go into detail with that... Thanks for the warning!
3116879
Was that part inspired by a certain pic?
If you don't know what I'm talking about I can pm the pic to you.
3126029 Please do. There's a slim chance that it was inspired by the same picture.
MORE
Hope we get another chapter soon. I look forward to seeing what Mercury plans for the 2nd attempt of the second step and for the third step.
Gilda so stubborn XD