Lyra and Big Macintosh were greeted by a scene of chaos. Nova and Bellona whizzed around the room pursuing one another, knocking over furniture. Sparkling Cider and Apple Cinnamon attempted to stop the two of them, while Golden Gem and Golden Sweet tried to keep the other fillies calm.
“I SHALL NOT STAND FOR SUCH INSULTS!” Nova screamed at Bellona. The draconequus hybrid snapped her fingers, hurling a chair at Nova. The alicorn knocked it aside. Lyra’s aura surrounded the chair and set it down again.
“STOP!” Big Macintosh shouted at the group. Every pony in the room froze, turning their attention to Big Macintosh and Lyra. Bellona and Nova froze in mid-air.
“Come here.” Big Macintosh ordered. The two ponies landed and meekly trotted over to Big Macintosh.
“What did I tell th’ two of you?”
Sparkling Cider, Apple Cinnamon and Golden Sweet trotted over to Lyra, their faces heavy with embarrassment and guilt.
“Miss Heartstrings?”
“Yes… Sparkling Cider, Right?”
“Uh-huh.” Sparkling Cider nodded, “We just wanna say that none of us had anything to do with that, and we were trying to stop them, honest.”
“We were.” Apple Cinnamon added.
“Don’t worry girls, I believe you.” Lyra sighed, “What did they br-”
Bellona snapped her fingers, returning the room to its original state. The alicorn and draconequus sulkily trotted over to Lyra, keeping their heads down and averting her gaze.
“Yes?”
The two mumbled something inaudible. Lyra held a hoof up to her ear.
“Couldn’t hear that, you two.” Lyra replied.
“We’re sorry.” The two half-heartedly apologized.
“AHEM.” Big Macintosh prodded the two. Behind them, Apple Pie, Apple Jam and Carson fell asleep on the newly repaired sofa.
“We’re sorry for not listening to dad and wrecking your living room.” The two apologized.
“Even if it is all her fault.” Nova mumbled.
“What was that, Nova?” Big Macintosh growled at the alicorn.
“Nothing dad.” Nova quickly responded.
“Heh, dummy.” Bellona smirked.
“Bellona…” Big Macintosh turned his attention to the draconequus.
“Sorry dad.”
“Cinnamon, Sparkling Cider, gather th’ others. I think we’re gonna have to head back to th’ farm.” Big Macintosh ordered the two fillies.
“Alright dad.” The pegasus and unicorn trotted over to the others.
“Well, Lyra, I’m gonna head home, then.”
“Alright Mac. If you need anything, just let me know.”
“Eyup.”
---
Big Macintosh pushed open the door, letting the fillies and colts trot in.
“Granny we’re back.”
“Good timin’! Who wants apple bread puddin’?” the elderly mare called out.
“I DO!” all the colts and fillies yelled back, before making their way into the kitchen. Big Macintosh sighed and followed them. Granny Smith eyed the group, counting each of them while passing out plates with generous amounts of bread pudding to them.
“…Macintosh is it me or is there more of them, than there were at breakfast?”
“There’s more granny. That’s Apple Jam, that’s Nova, that’s Carson an’ that’s Bellona.” Big Macintosh pointed to each of the ponies.
“Thirteen? And one of them looks like the princess.” Granny Smith smiled, “Good work, sonny. I don’t reckon the Apple family needs that sort of attention, but that’s how love works out sometimes.”
“Granny, it ain’t like that.” Big Macintosh sighed, “Can you keep an eye on them? I’m gonna try an’ get some work done today.”
“Alright.” Granny Smith nodded.
“Alright, listen up.” Big Macintosh announced, “I need to get some work done. In th’ meantime, I want you all to stay here. Don’t wreck the house, and don’t give Granny Smith trouble, understand?” As the fillies and colts muttered their understanding, Big Macintosh nodded.
“Good.”
The stallion trotted out of the house.
“Tell us a story!” Acey Mac and Apple Pie both shouted.
“Alright then. Everypony go to the living room.” Granny Smith chuckled as the group made their way out of the kitchen. “Well, what story do you want to hear?”
“One about Apple Bloom!” Apple Jam yelled, “Mom has plenty of stories about their crusading days.”
“Alright, then, lemme tell you about th’ time Apple Bloom got her head stuck in the toilet…”
---
Seven minutes and Twenty-nine seconds later...
Apple Jam poked the snoring Granny Smith.
“…I don’t think she’s waking up.” The filly turned her attention to the others, only to find Sparkling Cider, Golden Gem, Golden Sweet, Garden Royal and Apple Cinnamon behind her.
“…Uh-oh, Dad’s going to be mad.” Apple Jam gulped.
“Eyup.” Apple Cinnamon shook her head, “I’m not going to Canterlot.”
“I don’t think Bellona and Nova went there.” Sparkling Cider countered, “Neither of them are stupid enough to fly there and attract attention. Especially Bellona.”
“You hope.” Golden Sweet countered, “Since all our moms are here, everyone probably ran off to go see them.”
“But Center Stage isn’t here, and his mom isn’t here either.” Sparkling Cider countered. “So where did he go?”
---
“Why did I agree to come with you?” Center Stage rolled his eyes.
“I dunno.” Apple Pie shrugged, “Something about bagnets.”
“Beignets.” The colt corrected, “They’re beignets.”
“That’s what I said, Bagnets.” The filly beamed. Center Stage sighed in defeat.
“HERE WE ARE!” The filly bounded through the door of Sugar Cube Corner. Center Stage sighed and followed. Mrs. Cake looked up from setting trays in the display case.
“Well, hello there.” Mrs. Cake beamed at the fillies, “What can I do for the two of you?”
“Is mo…Pinkie Pie here?” Apple Pie quickly corrected herself.
“She’s a bit busy right now, dearie. If you can wait a little while she can come out and…do whatever you need to do.” Mrs. Cake informed her.
“OK!”
Apple Pie bounded off to the side, as Center Stage trotted up to the counter.
“Are there any Beignets left?” He inquired.
“Sorry, dearie.” Mrs. Cake shook her head.
“…Can I have a cupcake then?”
“Certainly! Which one?”
“The blue one.” Center Stage pointed towards a white cupcake with blue frosting.
“Here you are, that will be Two bits.” Mrs. Cake placed the baked good on the counter as Center Stage levitated two coins onto the counter. His magic aura surrounded the cupcake, and he trotted off to join Apple Pie.
“How come I don’t get one?” Apple Pie frowned.
“Because I keep my allowance.” Center Stage took a bite of the cupcake, “and I save it.”
“…How do you know what I do with my allowance?” Apple Pie countered.
“You probably spend it all on baked goods.” Center Stage took another bite, “Kinda obvious, really.”
“…Why are you so mean?” Apple Pie frowned.
“Because.” Center Stage finished off his cupcake.
“I’m gonna tell my mom not to bake anything for you.” Apple Pie stuck her tongue out at the colt.
“Alright Mrs. Cake, I finished the batch for tomorrow.” Pinkie trotted out of the back room, “Now who wanted to see me?”
“HI MOM!” Apple Pie leapt away from the table.
“M...Mom?’ Mrs. Cake stuttered, before turning her attention to Pinkie.
“It’s… her nickname for me!” Pinkie beamed at Mrs. Cake, “See, Apple Pie’s mom kinda sorta vanished, and when I met her, she felt that I was like a mom to her, right?” Pinkie flashed a nervous smile at Apple Pie.
“…Eyup!” Apple Pie responded without missing a beat, “I just came because I wanted to bake cupcakes!” the Filly bounced in excitement, “…Oh, and Center Stage came because he’s mean.”
“I am not!” Center Stage countered, “I’m just bored.”
“…Well if you want to make cupcakes, let’s get started!” Pinkie leapt back into the kitchen, as Apple Pie followed her lead. Center Stage rolled his eyes and followed the two, leaving a baffled Mrs. Cake behind.
“…I think I’m going to go lie down…” The mare trotted off.
---
Dinky and Sweet Wheat trotted down the street. Sweet Wheat quickly glanced behind them before turning her attention back to Dinky.
“He’s still following us.” Sweet Wheat frowned.
“I know.” Dinky continued along.
Sweet Wheat glanced behind her again, as Carson tripped over his hooves and landed face first on the road.
“…Should we help him?”
“I don’t know.” Dinky continued to ignore Carson.
“…Who is he, anyway?” Sweet Wheat continued to question Dinky.
“He’s… some weird pony.” Dinky trailed off.
“…He kinda looks like your mom.” Sweet Wheat winced as Carson walked into a pole, “Is he related to you?”
“I dunno.” Dinky quickly turned around a corner.
Sweet Wheat frowned and followed Dinky.
“Wait for me!” Carson’s wings began to flutter, as he lifted off the ground and followed the two fillies.
---
“HI MOM!”
Scarlet Tornado plowed through Rainbow Dash’s wall, startling the pony, nearly causing her to drop Tank. Scarlet Tornado flew around the room a few times, before landing next to Rainbow Dash on the sofa.
“Hey kid.” Rainbow Dash grinned at the filly, “Aren’t you suppose to be with Mac?”
“I got bored, so I flew here.” Scarlet patted the tortoise on the head, “Hi Tank! You look younger.”
The tortoise responded with a slow smile.
“You don’t think your dad’s gonna be mad?” Dash lied down on the sofa.
“As long as I get back before he comes home, I should be okay.” Scarlet shrugged and lied next to her.
“So what do you want to do, kid?”
“Take a nap.” Scarlet snuggled next to Dash and closed her eyes.
“…Good Idea.”
Rainbow Dash followed suit and soon the house was filled with the sound of snoring.
---
“Can we go to the park?” Acey Mac asked.
“No.” Cheerilee responded, not even bothering to look up from her paper work.
“Can we go get ice cream?”
“No.”
“Can I get a pet?”
“No.”
“Can I get a coltfriend?”
“No.” Cheerilee continued to chew on a pencil, “…Scootaloo, I need to talk to you about your school work later….”
“Can I become a Princess?”
“No.”
“…You’re boring.” Acey Mac flopped onto her back and began to roll around the schoolroom floor.
“I know.” Cheerilee sighed.
“How come you aren’t married to pa?”
“Because Big Macintosh and I are just friends. Besides, he has Lyra.” Cheerilee responded.
Acey Mac stopped rolling around and stared at Cheerilee upside-down, “And you don’t have anyone?”
“…No.” Cheerilee sighed.
“…That’s kinda sad.” Acey Mac rolled onto her stomach.
“…I know.” Cheerilee dejectedly sighed.
Acey Mac stood up and trotted over to Cheerilee.
“I think you’ll find someone, Ma.” Acey Mac beamed, “Somepony’ll figure out that you’re really smart and stuff. Even if it ain’t Pa.”
Cheerilee smiled, “Thank you. And it’s “Even if it isn’t Pa”.”
Acey Mac spread her hooves out, “Can I have a hug?”
“…Yes.”
---
“Alright, so why do I have to deal with you two?” Twilight frowned.
“Because you are one of the Elements of Harmony so I COMMAND YOU TO SEAL HER AWAY!” Nova boomed as he jabbed a hoof at Bellona. The draconequus floated past, sipping a milkshake.
“…No.” Twilight turned her attention back to her books.
“But Princess Twilight!” Nova continued, “You mu-”
“Why do all of you keep calling me ‘princess’?” The mare grumbled.
“Because you married Cousin Blueblood.” Nova curtly responded.
Twilight’s face changed from one of annoyance to one of absolute horror. Before Nova or Bellona could do anything, she slammed her face into the book in front of her with a loud thunk. She continued to smack her head into the book, as Bellona and Nova slowly backed out of the library. Bellona opened the door and the two gave each other an uncertain look.
“We are going to pretend this never happened, agreed?” Bellona cocked an eyebrow.
“Agreed.” Nova nodded.
They slammed the door shut and trotted off.
“…Well, where to next, dear Nova?” Bellona sneered.
“Shut up.” Nova grumbled, “If we’re going to be stuck with each other we should try not to antagonize each other so much.”
“…Pfft.” Bellona stifled a giggle, “Yeah right.”
“…And it will decrease the likelihood of father punishing us.”
“…Touché.” Bellona grumbled, “…Do you get the feeling that everypony is staring at us?”
“I am an Alicorn and you are a… hybrid, of course we attract attention.” Nova rolled his eyes.
“Yeah.” Bellona nodded, “Hey, watch this.”
Bellona zoomed over towards three earth ponies, smiling menacingly. One of the ponies gasped in horror.
“Boo.” Bellona’s smile grew as her mouth filled itself with sharpened teeth. The three ponies fainted in terror. Bellona suddenly vanished and reappeared next to Nova.
“Gotta love it.”
“…Your behavior is most unladylike.”
---
Big Macintosh sighed in relief.
“Got that done. I think I can leave most of th’ harvestin’ to A-”
“Daddy!”
Big Macintosh turned around to see Sparkling Cider and Apple Cinnamon run up to him.
“Scarlet and Acey and Center Stage and Apple Pie and Carson and Nova and Bellona ran off.” Sparkling Cider informed him.
“…Girls, get the cart.”
I figured we needed a little breathing room between MacCord and...whatever happens next, so we get to see everyone dealing with the kids.
Now, to answer the most important question that this chapter brings up:
I have no idea how Apple Bloom got her head stuck in the toilet.
What Twilight fails to realize is...Blueblood is different in the AU that Nova is from.
Talk more about that latter.
2414078
I know Bruce.
But the thought of a Pregnant Discord is much more fun.
2414280
No... the most important question is where is my Gilda Mac hybrid?! I've been waiting with baited breath each update for her to show up.
i'd be horrified too if I found out I married BlueBlood in any universe
2414280 As he is, I'd still marry Blueblood. Against some of the people I've been with, an egotistical narcissistic airhead would be a nice vacation.
2414293 Pregnant Discord. Google it. Google it now.
2414302 Indeed, but you got to admit, you would love to see the poor gal's reaction when she founds out about their destiny to marry the (in)famous Blueblood. it'll be intriguing to see the gal in question getting a massive head-bump in the very next scene.
2414344>>2414302
One day I want to see someone write a fic where each chapter is a separate AU where each of the mane six finds out they are engaged to Blueblood, just to see their reactions.
2414355 and I think I'll pass on that one to be honest
by the way I want to see a Mac/Cadence foal just for Shining Armor to chase Mac around Canterlot. oh the hilarity.
Waiting for Zecora/Mac and Gilda/Mac foals. Celesia/Mac foal seems stretched out with Nova being there. And I want to say this, though regretting it, Chrysalis/Mac!!! Where is the little changeling?!
2414355 This begs the question if it'll amusing or torture for poor Blueblood.
Just imagine, Princess Pinkie Pie and Prince Blueblood... how will that work, nobodies knows. However, unimaginable royal shenanigans insures as PP now holds the fate of Canterlot in her hoofs, much to Blueblood dismay.
At this point, one would ask: "BLUEBLOOD! Y U MARRY PP?". In which not even the prince himself can make a clear answer that question for whatever reason... (Answer: Movie magic! *spooky*)
2414382
Some Ponies just can't handle Vegas.
I find it funny that between Nova and Bellona it was the little prince who made the comment that broke Twilight Sparkle's brain. Her probably got some respect from his chaos spawn half sister for that one. I am hoping to see more Pie children, I've always felt that is Mac and Pinkie ever hooked up Pinkie would defy all logic and not only get pregnant all the time but also have multiple pregnancies every time, "always baking more pies" :P Of course like in my previous comment, I hope to see alternate versions, like Twilight and Mac's child after Twilight's Princess Transformation, Mac and Celestia's kid, and versions of the kid already reviled that are different genders (Rarity would so name her first colt Prince!)
2414388
Hmm, would make sense for everypony that is involved in the separate case, it would seem that's more likely to happen with Rarity's at her side of things.
Actually when thinking about, I'm afraid to ask about it at PP's case if she really was drunk or that she played along with it at the time, it's hard to tell if really is capable of getting drunk and what madness can see preform at the state. Only chaos can result from this, that's for sure.
2414367 changeling offspring sounds fun and wouldn't mind seeing a vinyl or octavia kid
2414301>>2414367
I think I said it before, but I decided to skip the Zecora and Gilda kids, for some others.
so no dice there, sorry.
NO!!! WHY?!
But really, it would be fun to see a little Changeling.
But by now, the fabric of space should be breaking with the many numbers of foals being there now.
2414512
Honestly?
I suck at Rhyming, and I don't really like GildaMac.
But I'm sure some of the other pairing might make up for it.
2414535
Oh fine, I admit, Zecora's rhyming is hard... I would avoid that but I'm sure Chrysalis/Mac is still available and you'd best be finding a solution for this dimensional mishap since there is too much instances that they, the foals i mean, will REALLY break all of reality.
It's Nice to see some good, funny tale around, and so well written. Congrats.
And, yes, it's hard to write, but would be fun:
Zecora: "Big Mac, I have news weird and sad/ Can you explain why this tiny lad/ Is calling me "mom" and you "dad"?
A red and white stripped zebra rushed to Hug Big Mac: "Oh, I'm very happy indeed/ Dad, it's me, Wild Seed"
Big Mac, sighing: Of course you are
Keep up the great tale!
This is brilliant. Please continue
Yay for mother/child bonding!
2414792
I'm glad you're enjoying it.
I know I've said it before, but I find it really hard to believe that no one else has tried to write this.
2421192
I think its because its hard to bwlence so many kids in the story for more than a one off joke
2423819
I suppose, although they wouldn't have to have done it on the same scale as this.
even if it was just the Mane Five, that would make an interesting story.
2423921
Not sure about others, but in my case it would easily devolve into references to the manga: Choose Your Wife's Color and I already have a system where I make up 3 new stories and dump 4 old ones after some time so I don't like making new ones if I can afford not letting it germinate.
poor twilight
And Twilight was scarred for life.
Not going with the Twilicorn angle eh?
I think Flashlight sounds decently good right about now. *Shudders* Can't believe I said that.
Shall I realy make a story out of that?
10016756
yes you should