//------------------------------// // They are who they are. // Story: Crisis of Infinite Offspring // by dramatic_spoon //------------------------------// Lyra and Big Macintosh were greeted by a scene of chaos. Nova and Bellona whizzed around the room pursuing one another, knocking over furniture. Sparkling Cider and Apple Cinnamon attempted to stop the two of them, while Golden Gem and Golden Sweet tried to keep the other fillies calm. “I SHALL NOT STAND FOR SUCH INSULTS!” Nova screamed at Bellona. The draconequus hybrid snapped her fingers, hurling a chair at Nova. The alicorn knocked it aside. Lyra’s aura surrounded the chair and set it down again. “STOP!” Big Macintosh shouted at the group. Every pony in the room froze, turning their attention to Big Macintosh and Lyra. Bellona and Nova froze in mid-air. “Come here.” Big Macintosh ordered. The two ponies landed and meekly trotted over to Big Macintosh. “What did I tell th’ two of you?” Sparkling Cider, Apple Cinnamon and Golden Sweet trotted over to Lyra, their faces heavy with embarrassment and guilt. “Miss Heartstrings?” “Yes… Sparkling Cider, Right?” “Uh-huh.” Sparkling Cider nodded, “We just wanna say that none of us had anything to do with that, and we were trying to stop them, honest.” “We were.” Apple Cinnamon added. “Don’t worry girls, I believe you.” Lyra sighed, “What did they br-” Bellona snapped her fingers, returning the room to its original state. The alicorn and draconequus sulkily trotted over to Lyra, keeping their heads down and averting her gaze. “Yes?” The two mumbled something inaudible. Lyra held a hoof up to her ear. “Couldn’t hear that, you two.” Lyra replied. “We’re sorry.” The two half-heartedly apologized. “AHEM.” Big Macintosh prodded the two. Behind them, Apple Pie, Apple Jam and Carson fell asleep on the newly repaired sofa. “We’re sorry for not listening to dad and wrecking your living room.” The two apologized. “Even if it is all her fault.” Nova mumbled. “What was that, Nova?” Big Macintosh growled at the alicorn. “Nothing dad.” Nova quickly responded. “Heh, dummy.” Bellona smirked. “Bellona…” Big Macintosh turned his attention to the draconequus. “Sorry dad.” “Cinnamon, Sparkling Cider, gather th’ others. I think we’re gonna have to head back to th’ farm.” Big Macintosh ordered the two fillies. “Alright dad.” The pegasus and unicorn trotted over to the others. “Well, Lyra, I’m gonna head home, then.” “Alright Mac. If you need anything, just let me know.” “Eyup.” --- Big Macintosh pushed open the door, letting the fillies and colts trot in. “Granny we’re back.” “Good timin’! Who wants apple bread puddin’?” the elderly mare called out. “I DO!” all the colts and fillies yelled back, before making their way into the kitchen. Big Macintosh sighed and followed them. Granny Smith eyed the group, counting each of them while passing out plates with generous amounts of bread pudding to them. “…Macintosh is it me or is there more of them, than there were at breakfast?” “There’s more granny. That’s Apple Jam, that’s Nova, that’s Carson an’ that’s Bellona.” Big Macintosh pointed to each of the ponies. “Thirteen? And one of them looks like the princess.” Granny Smith smiled, “Good work, sonny. I don’t reckon the Apple family needs that sort of attention, but that’s how love works out sometimes.” “Granny, it ain’t like that.” Big Macintosh sighed, “Can you keep an eye on them? I’m gonna try an’ get some work done today.” “Alright.” Granny Smith nodded. “Alright, listen up.” Big Macintosh announced, “I need to get some work done. In th’ meantime, I want you all to stay here. Don’t wreck the house, and don’t give Granny Smith trouble, understand?” As the fillies and colts muttered their understanding, Big Macintosh nodded. “Good.” The stallion trotted out of the house. “Tell us a story!” Acey Mac and Apple Pie both shouted. “Alright then. Everypony go to the living room.” Granny Smith chuckled as the group made their way out of the kitchen. “Well, what story do you want to hear?” “One about Apple Bloom!” Apple Jam yelled, “Mom has plenty of stories about their crusading days.” “Alright, then, lemme tell you about th’ time Apple Bloom got her head stuck in the toilet…” --- Seven minutes and Twenty-nine seconds later... Apple Jam poked the snoring Granny Smith. “…I don’t think she’s waking up.” The filly turned her attention to the others, only to find Sparkling Cider, Golden Gem, Golden Sweet, Garden Royal and Apple Cinnamon behind her. “…Uh-oh, Dad’s going to be mad.” Apple Jam gulped. “Eyup.” Apple Cinnamon shook her head, “I’m not going to Canterlot.” “I don’t think Bellona and Nova went there.” Sparkling Cider countered, “Neither of them are stupid enough to fly there and attract attention. Especially Bellona.” “You hope.” Golden Sweet countered, “Since all our moms are here, everyone probably ran off to go see them.” “But Center Stage isn’t here, and his mom isn’t here either.” Sparkling Cider countered. “So where did he go?” --- “Why did I agree to come with you?” Center Stage rolled his eyes. “I dunno.” Apple Pie shrugged, “Something about bagnets.” “Beignets.” The colt corrected, “They’re beignets.” “That’s what I said, Bagnets.” The filly beamed. Center Stage sighed in defeat. “HERE WE ARE!” The filly bounded through the door of Sugar Cube Corner. Center Stage sighed and followed. Mrs. Cake looked up from setting trays in the display case. “Well, hello there.” Mrs. Cake beamed at the fillies, “What can I do for the two of you?” “Is mo…Pinkie Pie here?” Apple Pie quickly corrected herself. “She’s a bit busy right now, dearie. If you can wait a little while she can come out and…do whatever you need to do.” Mrs. Cake informed her. “OK!” Apple Pie bounded off to the side, as Center Stage trotted up to the counter. “Are there any Beignets left?” He inquired. “Sorry, dearie.” Mrs. Cake shook her head. “…Can I have a cupcake then?” “Certainly! Which one?” “The blue one.” Center Stage pointed towards a white cupcake with blue frosting. “Here you are, that will be Two bits.” Mrs. Cake placed the baked good on the counter as Center Stage levitated two coins onto the counter. His magic aura surrounded the cupcake, and he trotted off to join Apple Pie. “How come I don’t get one?” Apple Pie frowned. “Because I keep my allowance.” Center Stage took a bite of the cupcake, “and I save it.” “…How do you know what I do with my allowance?” Apple Pie countered. “You probably spend it all on baked goods.” Center Stage took another bite, “Kinda obvious, really.” “…Why are you so mean?” Apple Pie frowned. “Because.” Center Stage finished off his cupcake. “I’m gonna tell my mom not to bake anything for you.” Apple Pie stuck her tongue out at the colt. “Alright Mrs. Cake, I finished the batch for tomorrow.” Pinkie trotted out of the back room, “Now who wanted to see me?” “HI MOM!” Apple Pie leapt away from the table. “M...Mom?’ Mrs. Cake stuttered, before turning her attention to Pinkie. “It’s… her nickname for me!” Pinkie beamed at Mrs. Cake, “See, Apple Pie’s mom kinda sorta vanished, and when I met her, she felt that I was like a mom to her, right?” Pinkie flashed a nervous smile at Apple Pie. “…Eyup!” Apple Pie responded without missing a beat, “I just came because I wanted to bake cupcakes!” the Filly bounced in excitement, “…Oh, and Center Stage came because he’s mean.” “I am not!” Center Stage countered, “I’m just bored.” “…Well if you want to make cupcakes, let’s get started!” Pinkie leapt back into the kitchen, as Apple Pie followed her lead. Center Stage rolled his eyes and followed the two, leaving a baffled Mrs. Cake behind. “…I think I’m going to go lie down…” The mare trotted off. --- Dinky and Sweet Wheat trotted down the street. Sweet Wheat quickly glanced behind them before turning her attention back to Dinky. “He’s still following us.” Sweet Wheat frowned. “I know.” Dinky continued along. Sweet Wheat glanced behind her again, as Carson tripped over his hooves and landed face first on the road. “…Should we help him?” “I don’t know.” Dinky continued to ignore Carson. “…Who is he, anyway?” Sweet Wheat continued to question Dinky. “He’s… some weird pony.” Dinky trailed off. “…He kinda looks like your mom.” Sweet Wheat winced as Carson walked into a pole, “Is he related to you?” “I dunno.” Dinky quickly turned around a corner. Sweet Wheat frowned and followed Dinky. “Wait for me!” Carson’s wings began to flutter, as he lifted off the ground and followed the two fillies. --- “HI MOM!” Scarlet Tornado plowed through Rainbow Dash’s wall, startling the pony, nearly causing her to drop Tank. Scarlet Tornado flew around the room a few times, before landing next to Rainbow Dash on the sofa. “Hey kid.” Rainbow Dash grinned at the filly, “Aren’t you suppose to be with Mac?” “I got bored, so I flew here.” Scarlet patted the tortoise on the head, “Hi Tank! You look younger.” The tortoise responded with a slow smile. “You don’t think your dad’s gonna be mad?” Dash lied down on the sofa. “As long as I get back before he comes home, I should be okay.” Scarlet shrugged and lied next to her. “So what do you want to do, kid?” “Take a nap.” Scarlet snuggled next to Dash and closed her eyes. “…Good Idea.” Rainbow Dash followed suit and soon the house was filled with the sound of snoring. --- “Can we go to the park?” Acey Mac asked. “No.” Cheerilee responded, not even bothering to look up from her paper work. “Can we go get ice cream?” “No.” “Can I get a pet?” “No.” “Can I get a coltfriend?” “No.” Cheerilee continued to chew on a pencil, “…Scootaloo, I need to talk to you about your school work later….” “Can I become a Princess?” “No.” “…You’re boring.” Acey Mac flopped onto her back and began to roll around the schoolroom floor. “I know.” Cheerilee sighed. “How come you aren’t married to pa?” “Because Big Macintosh and I are just friends. Besides, he has Lyra.” Cheerilee responded. Acey Mac stopped rolling around and stared at Cheerilee upside-down, “And you don’t have anyone?” “…No.” Cheerilee sighed. “…That’s kinda sad.” Acey Mac rolled onto her stomach. “…I know.” Cheerilee dejectedly sighed. Acey Mac stood up and trotted over to Cheerilee. “I think you’ll find someone, Ma.” Acey Mac beamed, “Somepony’ll figure out that you’re really smart and stuff. Even if it ain’t Pa.” Cheerilee smiled, “Thank you. And it’s “Even if it isn’t Pa”.” Acey Mac spread her hooves out, “Can I have a hug?” “…Yes.” --- “Alright, so why do I have to deal with you two?” Twilight frowned. “Because you are one of the Elements of Harmony so I COMMAND YOU TO SEAL HER AWAY!” Nova boomed as he jabbed a hoof at Bellona. The draconequus floated past, sipping a milkshake. “…No.” Twilight turned her attention back to her books. “But Princess Twilight!” Nova continued, “You mu-” “Why do all of you keep calling me ‘princess’?” The mare grumbled. “Because you married Cousin Blueblood.” Nova curtly responded. Twilight’s face changed from one of annoyance to one of absolute horror. Before Nova or Bellona could do anything, she slammed her face into the book in front of her with a loud thunk. She continued to smack her head into the book, as Bellona and Nova slowly backed out of the library. Bellona opened the door and the two gave each other an uncertain look. “We are going to pretend this never happened, agreed?” Bellona cocked an eyebrow. “Agreed.” Nova nodded. They slammed the door shut and trotted off. “…Well, where to next, dear Nova?” Bellona sneered. “Shut up.” Nova grumbled, “If we’re going to be stuck with each other we should try not to antagonize each other so much.” “…Pfft.” Bellona stifled a giggle, “Yeah right.” “…And it will decrease the likelihood of father punishing us.” “…Touché.” Bellona grumbled, “…Do you get the feeling that everypony is staring at us?” “I am an Alicorn and you are a… hybrid, of course we attract attention.” Nova rolled his eyes. “Yeah.” Bellona nodded, “Hey, watch this.” Bellona zoomed over towards three earth ponies, smiling menacingly. One of the ponies gasped in horror. “Boo.” Bellona’s smile grew as her mouth filled itself with sharpened teeth. The three ponies fainted in terror. Bellona suddenly vanished and reappeared next to Nova. “Gotta love it.” “…Your behavior is most unladylike.” --- Big Macintosh sighed in relief. “Got that done. I think I can leave most of th’ harvestin’ to A-” “Daddy!” Big Macintosh turned around to see Sparkling Cider and Apple Cinnamon run up to him. “Scarlet and Acey and Center Stage and Apple Pie and Carson and Nova and Bellona ran off.” Sparkling Cider informed him. “…Girls, get the cart.”