“Mac? What’s with all the kids?” Lyra trotted over. She scanned the cart, getting a good look at all the fillies and colts, “…That one kind of looks like Rainbow Dash, and that one sort of looks like Pinkie.”
“…It’s really complica-”
“Um… Miss Heartstrings, I can explain.” Sparkling Cider interrupted, “Um… we’re all his kids.”
Lyra blinked in confusion at the filly’s statement, “…What.”
“Can we head somewhere a bit more private?” Big Macintosh interrupted Sparkling Cider, “I don’t want th’ entire town to know.”
“You know, I did believe you were a good guy, Mac.” Lyra shook her head, “I really did.”
“I can expl-”
“So I’ll give you a chance.” Lyra frowned, “That’s a lot more than I’d give some other ponies.”
“Thank you.” Big Macintosh turned to the cart, “Alright, listen up, I want you all on your best behavior.” A chorus of mumbled agreement followed his orders.
“Where to?”
“I suppose my house is the only option. Bon Bon’s at some convention in Manehattan, so we don’t have to worry about being interrupted.” Lyra continued to stare at the fillies, “Why does that one look like Ditzy?”
“Because it is her kid.” Macintosh sighed, “I can introduce all of ‘em to you latter.”
The group turned around and followed Lyra through town. Lyra glanced at Sparkling Cider.
“You look an awful lot like Twilight.”
“That’s because she’s my mom.” Sparkling Cider responded.
“And… the Alicorn is… Princess Luna’s kid?”
“Correct.” Boomed Nova.
“And I have no idea who the pegasus on your back is.” Lyra frowned.
“Spitfire.” Big Macintosh and Apple Cinnamon responded.
“Spitfire?” Lyra looked at the two of them in disbelief, “…Princess Luna, Spitfire, is one of them Princess Celestia or Princess Cadance’s kid too?”
“Nope.” Big Macintosh paused, “...Well, not that I know.”
Lyra sighed, “This is going to be one hell of a story isn’t it?”
“Eyup.”
The group stopped in front of a house. Lyra unlocked the door and glanced back at the group.
“You have to leave the cart outside, though.”
“Eyup.”
Big Macintosh unhooked himself from the cart and began to pick the foals and colts out of the cart.
“Alright, inside.” Lyra opened the door and motioned for them to go inside. “Don’t touch anything, just sit on the sofa and stay still.” A chorus of groans and mumbling acknowledged her orders, as the fillies and colts marched inside. Big Macintosh followed them in.
“Go to the kitchen and wait for me in there.”
“Eyup.”
Big Macintosh trotted into the kitchen, passing the pouting fillies and colts.
“You heard what I said.” He reminded them.
“We know.” They all groaned.
Big Macintosh trotted into the kitchen and took a seat at the table. Lyra trotted over to the stove and started to work with the coffee machine.
“Daddy?” Sparkling Cider trotted in.
“What is it?”
“Everypony’s hungry.”
“Didn’t Miss Pinkie just give all of you some treats?”
“Apple Pie ate them all.” Sparkling Cider grumbled.
Big Macintosh sighed, “Lyra, I hate ta’ be a bother…”
“Cupboard by the sink.” Lyra responded, not looking up from her work.
“Thanks.” Big Macintosh stood up and trotted over to the sink. Opening the cupboard, he found two plastic bags of cookies. The stallion pulled them out and placed them on Sparkling Cider’s head.
“No fightin’ and you all better share. Don’t make a mess either, understood?”
“Alright dad.” Sparkling Cider trotted into the other room to the sound of cheers, followed by the sound of ripping cellophane and noisy chewing. Big Macintosh took his seat again, shaking his head.
“Hope they don’t leave a big mess.” Lyra trotted over with two cups of coffee. She placed one of the mugs in front of Big Macintosh and took a sip of hers.
“Start talking.” She ordered.
Big Macintosh took a sip of his coffee and sighed.
“Well, it all started after our date…”
---
“And that’s why I’m sittin’ in your kitchen, drinkin’ coffee with twelve fillies and colts sittin’ in your living room.” Big Macintosh concluded.
Lyra took a sip of her coffee, “That’s a hell of a story Mac. But time travel doesn’t work like that.”
“Lyra, I think somewhere down the line in each of their timelines, something happened that made it workable. I don’t know what, but something did.” Big Macintosh shook his head, “But as much as I’d like to learn more an’ figure it out, we’re still dealin’ with little kids who don’t know much.”
“Has it occurred to you they might be lying about where they came from?”
“It did. But then I figured it didn’t make sense for them to come up with a wild story like that.” Big Macintosh shook his head.
“…I hate to bring this up, but are you sure they aren’t Changelings?” Lyra shook her head, “When I was in Canterlot for the wedding, they snuck in and replaced a lot of ponies.”
“Never occurred to me.” Big Macintosh paused in thought.
“But then again, it doesn’t match up to what I saw in Canterlot.” Lyra continued, “Their queen disguised herself as Princess Cadance, and some of the other changelings disguised themselves as other ponies. So if these were changelings they would have disguised themselves as… I don’t know, Applejack, Apple Bloom, Granny Smith, myself…”
“So that don’t add up either.” Big Macintosh concluded.
“Which means… that it’s either completely legit, or the entire town has gone insane again.” Lyra concluded, “And given all the things that usually happen, I’m willing to say it’s legit.”
“Eyup.”
“So what are you going to do about it?”
“See if we can send’m back. Twilight said she’ll do what she can, but I think it might be better to contact the Princesses and see if they can help.” Big Macintosh shrugged, “For now, I think I oughta take care of them all.”
“Twilight didn’t think of sending for their help first?”
“She said they were busy with the fallout from th’ Changeling attack. That and Spike doesn’t seem t’ be here, so it’s harder to contact them.” Big Macintosh shrugged.
“…And if they can’t?” Lyra sipped her coffee.
“…That hasn’t occurred to me.” Big Macintosh paused, “I can’t let them go off on their own, and I don’t want to put th’ burden on ta’ others.”
“It won’t be possible in some cases either.” Lyra pointed out, “What do you think will happen if Princess Luna, or Spitfire suddenly find out they have a kid?”
“Media would have a field day.” Big Macintosh nodded.
“So it’s pretty much damned if you do, damned if you don’t.”
“Eyup.”
The two ponies sighed and sipped their coffee.
“You’re taking this well, Lyra.” Big Macintosh noted.
“I’m not sure what else to do.” Lyra frowned, “I mean it. This… this is very strange.”
“Well, I guess I should introduce you to the twelve of them.” Big Macintosh stood.
“Right.”
The two ponies trotted into the other room and found all the fillies and colts sleeping.
“Alright kids, get up.” Big Macintosh prodded Sparkling Cider. The collection of fillies and colts woke up, groggily rubbing their eyes and yawning.
“Alright, You all know who this is, right?” Big Macintosh motioned towards Lyra. After assorted murmurs and nods confirmed it, Big Macintosh continued, “Alright, I want you all to introduce yourselves to her. One at a time.”
“I’m Sparkling Cider.”
“I am Golden Gem.”
“I’m Apple Pie!”
“I’m Scarlet Tornado, and I’m awesome.”
“G...Garden Royal.”
“Apple Cinnamon.”
“Golden Sweet.”
“I’m Carson Apple.”
“Acey Mac!”
“I am Nova.” Nova bowed, “Please to make your acquaintance.”
“Apple Jam.”
“I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL CENTER STAGE!” Fireworks went off, as Center Stage reared back. Apple Jam and Nova stepped away from him, fanning the smoke towards him. Center Stage collapsed onto his rear, coughing from the smoke.
“I AM BELLONA.” A new female voice shouted, startling all the ponies.
The new filly stepped forward revealing herself to the others. For the most part, the filly appeared to be a normal red coated pony with an amber grey mane. The pony’s left foreleg ended in a talon, while her right closely resembled that of a cat’s paw. Instead of a pony’s tail, the filly possessed a snake-like tail, covered in red fur and ending in a tuff of white fur. Upon the filly’s back were a pair of blue pegasus wings and upon her head was a single crooked horn. The filly grinned, revealing a long tooth among her otherwise normal teeth.
“Mac, I though you said there was only twelve kids.” Lyra whispered.
“There were.”
“Oh, Daddy, how could you forget about me?” the filly-thing shook her head, “Discord would be very displeased to know that you forgot about your only daughter.”
“…WHAT.” Lyra’s jaw dropped at the filly-draconequues’s revelation, “How did...wha...gu... Excuse me; I’m going to yell at the stove for a bit.”
Lyra trotted out of the room. A few moments later screams echoed through the house, shocking the others back into action.
“Daddy!” Nearly everypony except Nova, Sparkling Cider and Garden Royale dived behind Big Macintosh, in panic.
“SO! IT SEEMS THAT YOU HAVE NOT BEEN SEALED AWAY.” Nova announced, “THEN I SHALL DEALWITH Y-”
Bellona appeared atop Nova’s back, startling the alicorn.
“…You’re not Princess Midnight Star.” Bellona peeked between Nova’s back legs, “Definitely not.”
Nova flushed with embarrassment and fluttered his wings, knocking Bellona off. The other fillies giggled, as Bellona floated above Nova’s head.
“ENOUGH!” the colt attempted to regain his posture, “I SHALL NOT TOLERATE SUCH EMBARRASSMENT!” Nova’s eyes glowed as he focused his magic on his horn.
“But Discord became good where I’m from.” Sparkling Cider cut in.
“Mine too.” Garden Royale nodded.
Big Macintosh sighed. “Stop. Both of you.”
“But…” the glow faded from Nova’s eyes and horn as he pleaded.
“But I’m having fun.” Bellona complained.
“I said stop.” Big Macintosh firmly repeated.
“…Fine.” Bellona touched down and sat.
“…As you wish father.” Nova sat down, across from Bellona.
“As for the rest o’ you…” Big Macintosh turned his attention to the ponies behind him, “I want you to behave around her.”
“But she’s scary!” Acey Mac countered.
“She’s just like th’ rest of you. Jus’ a little more mischevious.” Big Macintosh sighed, “And you, Bellona, none of that chaos causin’ mischief, do you understand me?”
“Fine. Other Dad’s a lot more fun…” Bellona rolled her eyes.
“Well he ain’t here and I am. Now you all behave, I need to check on Miss Lyra”
Big Macintosh trotted into the kitchen and was greeted with the scene of Lyra banging her head against the table. Between smacks, she noticed Big Macintosh.
“Seriously! I can take you having a kid with Twilight. I can handle you having a kid with Carrot Top. I can take you having a kid with one of the Princesses, but Discord?” Lyra smacked her head against the table again, “How does that even work?!?! I need something to scrub that mental image out of my head!”
“…I ain’t gonna think about it, and I don’t reckon you should either.” Big Macintosh shook his head, “If you’re having second thoughts about things, I understand.”
Lyra grimaced, “I said I’d help you, and I intend on keeping it that way.”
“…By the way, I told Applejack about us.” Big Macintosh chuckled.
“I was going to ask about the black eye, but I guess that tells me everything I need to know.” Lyra chuckled, “Well, let’s do what we can for n-”
A crash interrupted the two adults. The two ponies exchanged quick glances and ran off to the living room.
...She's taking it rather well isn't she?
...oh, And yes, Mac/Discord.
Not Macareina/Red Gala/Big Paula Red/whatever you call her/Discord.
Not Eris/Macintosh.
Mac/Discord.
I don't have any Brain bleach for you.
Bellona has very meaningful name.
Bellona is the name of a Roman War Goddess, who's Greek Counterpart is named Enyo.
Enyo is noted for loving war so much, that she refused to take sides in the war between Typhon and Zeus.
Homer combined her with another one of Mars's followers, claiming the two were one and the same.
the follower in Question?
Eris.
that's your Greek mythology lesson for the day.
2338012 Before I read I have to say I do not need your bleach I have my rage to read your shit. Tell the readers to take a anti-wuss pill before they read.
Your logic shall be crushed by my randomness!
So when do we get kids from the royal sisters too? Wonder what would happen if he got with Chrysalis, how many kids would that be? Hell, might as well take every mare in the series and make them a mom, even the taken ones (yes I'm looking at you Mrs. Cake, Cadance and the mane six's moms)
though i would die laughing if this were to happen...
Big Mac: So who do you belong to little one?
Apple Sauce: AppleJack is my momma!
Big Mac: ... MY GAWD THESE ALTERNATE UNIVERSES ARE CROSSING THE LINE!!!
2236414 Trixie, me thinks? Maybe even Mrs. Cake... somehow?
2338055
Well we got Nova already, He's Luna's kid.
Celestia and Cadance?
you'll have to wait and see....
2338052
Quote the Raven,
"Watchu talkin' bout Willis?
2338062
Trixie's already here, See Center Stage.
2338067 *rubs hands together mischievously*
oh yeah and add Fleur what's her face to the list. that's bound to happen sooner or later.
Where is Apple Jam? You have an Apple Gem so could this be a typo?
2338077
Whoops. missed that, Thanks.
So... who carried her to term?
2338080 Any time. but try to keep it to a minimum.
I jest; but in all seriousness, Great story
2338082
Tell you guys that would take away all the fun.
Just thought of this, will their be a MacxBon-Bon foal
by Celestia's Fetlocks, they keep multiplying! Are we going to see alternate versions of children of different pairings once their numbers get high enough? Mac and Twilight's Alicorn child? different gender versions? Will some of Red Gala's(Fem Mac) kids show up?
2338095>>2338094
Maybe to all of that?
2338109 2338095 I refer you both to Murphy's Law
Amazed Mac's universe has not imploded yet. I'm also anticipating what MacxChrysalis kid will look/act like.
We're missing a few more mares in here.
Zecora
Princess Celestia
Heck, Gilda is probable still
OH! Chrysalis for added surprise.
And with that, Mac has basically done his own sister to royalty, inter-dimension wise.
Continuing good work, dramatic_spoon! This is really fun.
And I feel for Lyra...so, so much.
Gay, in the best possible way!
Hooray, tis indeed a glorious day!
How about this: A mixed race zegro (because racism is funny lololololol), a hippogriff with Gilda, magical gay kid with Prince Blueblood, and a talking piece of shit with Janeane Garofalo.
Well congratulations! You've surprised me! Discord out of left field! That doesn't even make sense! Oh wait... it's Discord, so nevermind.
Still I demand my Gilda child. Then Chrysalis's kid. Get to work!
2338072 Eh, I'm reading the comments first. Well, damn, looks like you have- WAIT! Photo Finish! ...No, not many care about her. Not that I mind, mind you. WAIT, BETTER! Nightmare Moon. Not Luna, you already have her, but Nightmare Moon.
Why did you cut it off? It was getting good. MORE!
Disco-Mac?
...
NOPE. NOPE. NOPE. NOOOOOOPE. EPON. NEIN. NYET. UH-UH. *starts headbanging the computer desk*
2338864 XD There should be 100-150 Chrysa-Mac children. :P
...And then Big Mac starts hunting the HARD cider... :D
2338650>>2338530>>2338864>>2338945
All questions dealing with potential future offspring will now be met with a reassuring "I dunno".
2339727
Oh darn... But there should be considering the title and the theme this story has
2339762
If I confirmed any other potential future offspring, that would ruin the surprise, yes?
2339769
I know, but it will be hard to find more apple based names now.
2339776
I thing Center Stage, Bellona, and Scarlet Tornado show that not all of the names have to be apple based.
Just had an idea.
We are all considering that all of the children come from different universes, what would happen if some come from a universe where Mac is a freakin stud with a herd?
2338067 Your story shall be read in time.
I give up on guessing whose child is going to show up next. It wouldn't surprise me for dramatic_spoon/Mac kid showing up.
2341535
Drat, he figured it out.
I would not be surprised if Daring/Mac kid would pop up. That is just me though.
I did not see that one coming. Well played.
BTW, are you gonna keep going until you have a child for every possible pairing? Because That would be pretty damn epic.
2346167
No, then things would get really tedious.
I'll just stick to the popular ones, and lots of crack pairings.
Considering its Discord, it would surprise me if he briefly went female long enough to have a kid. Or he just snapped his fingers and poof, female filly draconequus.
2351282 Fair enough.
This is just.......more. Now: I NEED MORE
So, to clear this up, Mac's had children with:
Pinkie Pie
Twilight Sparkle
Rarity
Rainbow Dash
Fluttershy
Trixie
Cheerilee
Carrot top
Spitfire
Derpy Hooves
Luna
Sweetie Belle
Discord
........................................................My brain hurts
2389557
So far.
things get...complicated later.
2390140
More. I need to see more offspring.
Awesome fic is awesome.
Must have more. More crack-
cocaine-shipping goodness.It's like, you know man, that one movie, man. My god man. It's full of stars.
Only the popular ones and crack pairings, hmmm?
I'm surprised Octavia and Vinyl haven't gotten theirs yet.
Raindrops would make a complete set of Lunaverse Elements (since Mac's dating Lyra in this universe)
Daring Do would be... interesting.
Are Cloud Kicker and Blossomforth popular enough?
Or Screwball... yikes.
That said, I think Fluttershy still has Big Macintosh beat when it comes to the sheer number of crack ships.
2392415
I'm not actually a big fan of Vinyl. Octavia got nixed in favor of Sweetie Belle.
I had my falling out with the Lunaverse, and don't have any real desire to use Raindrops.
My personal opinion about Daring Do is that she's completely fictional, so no dice there.
Everything else?
No comment.
Why, in chapter 5, does Garden Royale not cower behind Macintosh? She is timid after all.
2395530
Mom's had some experience with Wayward Draconequeeses...Equi?
2398051
Ohhhhhh.
Makes sense