I'm just an 18 year old Brony who has recently started writing fan fictions again.
Every mare dreams of one day finding their prince. Rarity has literally tried that. But as we all know... sometimes reality is a bit more harsh than our dreams.Sometimes we don't really know who we will belong with until something happens and they appear as if from nowhere.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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two things
1. Your color scheme is awful and you should feel bad. That's how that meme works right?
2. You have a picture of Rarity stabbing you in the forehead with her horn. CAN NOT BE UNSEEN.
Your OC encapsulate everything wrong with original pony characters.
Yeah. I have to agree with the pone above, black and red OC is bleh.
But as far as I can tell you're writing is fine. I don't have time to read the story so I can't base you on story structure. But you seem to know your way around a sentence.
Your OC is made of 100% Mary Sue material, and Spike's shattered feelings are played for laughs. Not cool.
Your writing is very good but you've made two mistakes:
1. Don't make your OC black and red.
2. Don't ship your OC with one of the mane 6.
Wow, so I write a story with the same name, and people hat it. You have the same name, and people like it