Do You Remember?

by unknownmercury

Discord to Celesita

What's the point of remembering all these moments? They're gone, done, dead. Dredging them up just reopens wounds and rubs salt in them, which brings the bitter sting and I don't want to remember! I don't want to remember the way my heart used to beat and now it's obsolete, as if it never came back from stone.

I don't want to remember the day and the way you used to say you loved me. I don't want to see the memory of us being happy, I don't want to think about days spent in court, bored out of my skull, because being there meant being close to you. What's the point of looking at things that aren't anymore? Because when you do, you can only wish they had ended up differently to save you the savage heartache they left behind.

You said you loved me, and later you said you hated me. And despite the smile and the laughter, inside it hurt. Inside I screamed and my heart pounded on the bars of the cell of my chest. I died a little that day, and in that moment of death, you put me in a prison for a thousand years and I saw it all!

I saw the way your sister nuzzled you that first day. I saw the way the ides of May came and went, and the way the flowers wilted in the fall. I saw it all.

I saw the way you would come and mourn me and heard the way you talked to me and I realized it was all my fault. I was insensitive and you got mad, and that got me mad and I killed that pony. Before I had time to take it back, the neck I'd cracked, the body was slack.

And I realized... Death was pretty fun to watch. And I did it again to a different pony, and again, and again. And then I found that what I really enjoyed was the suffering they had right before they died. It wasn't as much suffering as my heart felt. But every time they were in pain, I wasn't. I could laugh at their misfortune because it wasn't mine.

I remember when I was finally free of my prison. I saw a whole group of foals and their teacher. I could have killed them all, but I didn't. Because back then, I was trying to apologize to you. My sorry was a prank and the prank was no good because I was the only one laughing. But I tried, I did, to get others to laugh. Instead, I broke minds, brought chaos, and was a rock again at the end of the day.

And then... You gave me another chance. Except that I will never get the second chance I really want.

Comments

[Irongalley]

2182796

Eeyup Twas nice. It did feel like Celestia was rubbing it into Discord's and Twipony's faces at times though.