Web of Hope
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Damn, you stole my title. I was going to write a story with the exact same title (completly different premise though) but not having a computer makes it impossible to write it right now. So in all fairness you got it first and now I have to think of a new one.
2155405
I'm still not even sure i like the title, but i guess it's a bit late now 
hah, sorry
2155405
Consider removing the 'A'. Does that give the same effect? If not, try playing around with adjectives. Also, I've seen two fics in the featured box in the space of a few days which both had the same name, and they were definitely different fics.
Web of Hope - Grammar Nazi inbound. Just so you know, this isn't an attack on your writing skills, it's to try and help you.
This doesn't really seem to make sense. I assume you mean Nightmare Moon being imprisoned in the moon - perhaps 'The imprisoned shadow of the moon' or 'The imprisoned shadow in the moon' would work better. Kind of a nice line though.
I believe the correct plural of pegasus is pegasi, and that despite certain spellcheckers it doesn't need capitalization. If it was referring to one pegasus, as in myth, then it would be a proper noun and need capitalization. In this world, however, pegasus does not need capitalization. I really wanted to go off on a tangent about 'travelled' but it's an American/British thing.
'As they had in the past hour, in silence' is a bit of a weird way to put it. I would swap the order - 'in silence, as they had in the past hour'.
Remove the 'itself'.
The 'his' should be 'he'. 'Could' is a verb, and not a noun that can be possessed.
'Brave' should not be capitalized. It's an adjective in the middle of a sentence. Also note that you haven't capitalized 'earth ponies' here - if you're going to capitalize species such as Pegasi you need to be consistent. You also haven't capitalized unicorns, so for the reasons I stated earlier and for consistency I think you shouldn't capitalize Pegasi.
See previous points.
Colt, or stallion? This is somewhat like the difference between filly and mare - are the young ponies doing this kind of work?
The pegasus point has already been noted. I feel that this sentence needs a verb, though.
'Heightened their growing remorse' is a bit of an odd way to put this. Remorse is generally used for regrets about doing something wrong, and 'heightened' is an odd verb to be using. 'With every floor, their sorrow grew' might be a decent alternative, if you want to keep using more advanced synonyms of 'sad'. When doing something like this though do a quick definition check.
Needs a comma between 'odd though' and 'Sunny reflected'. Also, change it to something like 'It's odd, though,' in italics to show that it's thought rather than speech.
'Lay'.
HAHA BRITISH SPELLING /PRIDE
I think there were a few things I missed.
That last section caught my interest though. I might actually read some more of this.
I suggest getting a pre-reader. A pre-reader can catch all of the mistakes I've pointed out to you here before you put the fic up, where it gets butchered for all to see like I just did.
Keep at it, you'll improve and you have a nice premise.
2156043
leeeet's see what we can do to fix some of this mess
I appreciate the feedback
a few counterpoints, though
the 'itself' was being used to refer back to his coat color indirectly
Colt, as it's referring to the youngest of the three, who i did mention is fairly young. maybe it wasn't clear?
well, how else would you spell it?
2156559
Center is often spelt centre. I feel happy when I see it spelt center.
The 'itself' doesn't refer back to the white very well - 'as well' or 'too' would work better.
You did actually make it clear that the colt/stallion was young - I was curious as to which side of 'stallionhood' he was on.
2156568
huh...I would have thought 'Epicentre' would be the british way, given a choice between the two...considering 'theatre' and all
I'll think on the 'itself' thing: it's a good point, but I'm not sure yet how I want to resolve it...
Wave is fairly young at this point; fifteen, specifically...it will probably be more important later in the story