Chapter 13
Giving Love a Helping Hoof
Chapter 13
The silence was absolute. Fluttershy's most timid whisper sounded as resonant as the traditional royal Canterlot voice.
“No. Way.”
At that, the floodgates opened, all the mares unleashing a torrent of questions and comments.
“Oh my stars, darling!”
“Ah 'spose when it comes down to it, still better him than Spike...”
“Bahahahahaha! Oh my Celestia, that would've been so funny! A stallion like Dusk walking in on a mare like you! Hahahahahaha!”
Twilight, not sure what her friend meant, looked askance at the pegasus. “What do you mean Rainbow?”
Carefully wiping a tear from her eye, the speedster managed to choke out, “Oh come on Twilight, you and Dusk are just both so... well...” She waved her hoof, struggling for the right word.
Clearing her throat, Rarity said, “What I think Rainbow means, Twilight, is that you and Dusk Shine are both the height of naiveté!”
Rainbow Dash raised a brow and eloquently asked, “Guh?”
Pinkie Pie unzipped the pillow Rarity was leaning on and crawled out from inside it. “She means that they're both as innocent as fresh-made cupcakes!”
“Ohhhh,”, agreed Rainbow, nodding slowly.
Twilight got to her hooves, mildly annoyed. “Now hang on! I'm not some... some little school-filly! I was mas-“. She broke off, reddening, as every other brow in the room collectively rose. “Well, doing that, wasn't I?”
“Well, yeah, ya' were, sugarcube, but still.” AJ looked sympathetic, even with a slight blush tingeing her cheeks. “Even y'all will admit that you ain't exactly the most worldly pony.”
Twilight collapsed onto her cushions with a harumph, glaring at nothing and everything.
Pinkie's ears perked up at that, and one of her few internal and invisible Pinkie-senses started firing, the underside of her tongue beginning to tingle. Ooooooh, opp-or-tunityyyy!
“Oh come on you silly-fillies! I'm sure Twilight is capable of anything the rest of us are!” beamed the neon earth pony.
Hook...
A guffaw, a snort and a titter greeted her declaration. “Pinkie, dear,” explained Rarity, “While I'm sure that Twilight can handle herself most of the time, there are occasions that are just outside her realm of experience!”
Line...
In an instant Twilight was in Rarity's face, fire blazing in her eyes. “OoooOOOOooooh, and they would be inside yours, would they? Well, I'll prove to you that I can be as mature and capable as you! As any of you! You name it, and I'll do it!”
Aaaaaand sinker!
“Ooh, ooh, me me me!” Pinkie waved her hoof back and forth in the air. “I know, I know!”
Still staring down Rarity, Twilight smirked, “Just tell me what to do Pinkie!”
“Ask Dusk Shine on a date!”
…
The colts had split off into their own groups of twos and threes, each discussing their own things. Big Macintosh and Butterscotch had resumed their earlier talk on the best way to deal with infestations, the big stallion slowly coming around to his new friend's peaceful ways of coexistence, rather than his original thoughts of wiping the pests out. Applejack and Berry had retreated to the kitchen, making sure enough to have enough famous Apple family treats to keep everypony well fed.
Berry's voice, stuck in full on whining-mode, drifted out of the kitchen towards the last clump of colts. “Oh come onnnnnn!”
“T'ain't gonna happen, haystack.”
“Oh come onnnnnnn.”
Elusive raised a perfectly shaped brow. “Whatever do you suppose they're arguing about?”
Rainbow Blitz sputtered out a laugh. “Knowing Berry? Whether to mix in one bag of sugar or eight.”
Dusk and Elusive laughed along for a moment. “So,” said Dusk, “Elusive. I know you used to think about Princess Blueblood a lot, but I never realised how much you thought about your perfect mare.” He grinned. “If I had to pick a winner, I honestly wouldn't know who thought about mares more often now; you or Blitz.”
Blitz waggled his eyebrows suggestively. “What can I say? I'm a rainbow-blooded stallion!”
Dusk and Elusive looked at each other before bursting into laughter, tears streaming from their eyes.
“AHAHAHA! Make it stop! Make it stop! Hahahahaha!” Dusk beat his hoof on the floor, paralysed by hysterics. Elusive levitated a tissue over and wiped at his eyes.
“What? What's so funny? What did I sa-... Oh, very funny guys. Ha-ha.” The stallion crossed his front legs, scowling. “A gay joke. You two are sooooo clever.”
“Ahhhh, I don't know how I ever had fun without you Blitz!” chuckled Elusive, finally calming down. “But back to what you were saying Dusk; I honestly couldn't tell you why. I just can't get the idea of the perfect mare out of my head. I've actually wondered whether I think about it too much myself as well, but it doesn't... well, it only rarely distracts me from my work, so I'm not particularly worried about it.”
“Any mares fit the profile just right?”
The unicorn tapped a hoof to his chin theatrically. “Well, I will admit that I'm quite taken by Rarity. She's intelligent, stunningly beautiful and a perfect lady. I could ask for little else.”
Rainbow and Dusk shared a look. “Really?” inquired the pegasus. “Rarity? I honestly don't see it.”
Obviously missing the tremendous sarcasm lacing Rainbow's words, Elusive answered, “Oh my goodness yes! She's absolutely divine. Still... I don't know, I'm not sure whether I'm... ready. After Blueblood.”
Rainbow Blitz winced: he truly sympathised with the unicorn on this topic. “Ah, don't worry about that mule.” He pointed a hoof, steel in his voice. “She's behind you and you're better for it! I say if you think Rarity is the mare for you, then go for it!”
Betraying the slightest hints of a deep-seated anxiety, Elusive lowered his head and averted his eyes. “Do you think... do you think she'd say yes? For a stallion like me?”
Dusk blinked, amazed. “Absolutely! You two are perfect for each other! And... well...” He looked left and right. “You never heard this, but Rarity came to the library the other day, to have lunch with Twilight. They asked if I wanted to join them, but I let them have their mare talk. Anyway, I heard your name mentioned.”
Elusive's jaw dropped.
“...more than once.”
The designer unicorn began sputtering incoherently, unable to decide which thought to give voice to first, before Dusk's hoof shoved into his mouth. With a big grin, the librarian said, “You never heard this, right?”
Elusive grinned broadly. “Never heard what?”
Somepony cleared their throat across the room. A slightly guilty looking Applejack stood next to a beaming Berry and a resigned Big Macintosh.
“Attention everypony,” said the smaller Apple. “Due to... a certain somepony,” he declared, with a venomous look at Berry, “this little shindig is now herebah upgraded to a full fledged party. I jus' hope Granny Smith don't wake up, so y'all gotta keep it down now! Berry?”
The baker pranced on the spot, wound up as a spring. “Yeeeeeessssss?”
Applejack sighed. “Ah know Ah'm gonna regret this. You can go and get it. Only one now, ya hear?”
With a thankfully muted cheer, Berry whooshed out of the house, leaving a pink trail quickly fading behind him. An instant later he reappeared, a barrel balanced on his head.
A barrel full of cider.
Blitz was across the room in the blink of an eye, stroking the barrel with tears in his eyes. “Is this...? Is it really...?”
“It suuuuure is!” sang Berry, hoofbumping Rainbow. “Apple family cider!”
A laugh echoed around the room, the deep sound rumbling out of Big Macintosh's chest.
Blitz looked stricken. “What is it? What's wrong? Please tell me that's cider!”
Still chuckling, the work horse said, “Oh, that's cider alright. But that's not your average cider-season cider.” The fact that this was more words than most had ever heard the big stallion say leant his speech weight.
“No,” he continued, walking slowly over to the barrel and resting a giant hoof atop it. “This cider is a fair bit harder than that. This...” He twisted the barrel, proudly displaying the three Xs on the other side. “...is the hard stuff.”
…
“Ohh......”
Light. Why was it so light? Stupid light. Somepony turn the sun off. Dear Princess Celestia: take a day off. Or a night off. Would it be day if she took a day off? Did the necessary raising of the close-
“Ooohhhhhh.....”
Too much thinking. Gotta stop thinking. Sweet Starswirl that hurt. How do I not think? Is that even a thing? Can... stuff.. with the place? Hey, not bad! You just stopped thinking for a second. Damnit, you're thinking again! When will you- oh no.
“Ah...”
Oh no.
“Aahhhhh....”
OH CELESTIA NO.
“AAAAHH-CHOOOO!”
Dusk Shine's eyes reflexively opened after he sneezed, letting in the full shining glory of the sun, directly through his corneas and into his pounding head. His whole body hurt, every muscle screaming in agony from the convulsion of a sneeze, but his head... Oh, my head...
Slowly raising his hooves, he rubbed at his temples, turning away from the sunlight streaming in through the window. Wait, window? What window? Where am I now?
Blinking sluggishly, the unicorn turned, taking in the room around him. Phew, it was just his bedroom. Bookshelf, nightstand, bookshelf, bookshelf, chest, bed, bookshelf, Spike's basket, bookshelf, wardrobe filled with dresses and saddles, bookshelf, book-
Wait. Something wasn't quite right. What was the... thing... that... guh? Dusk Shine groaned as his brain tried to process information, but it just wasn't cooperating. Knowing he'd regret it, he tried to summon a bit of magic through his headache. Immediately he felt like he'd been hit over the head with a saucepan, his vision blurring and his skull screaming at him, as his magic failed to fully connect and backfired into his brain. Though excruciating, the impromptu kickstart managed to get his mind working again.
Okay, so, I'm in my bedroom... Wait, I don't have a bedroom. Well, I kind of do, but that's just a temporary one downstairs. So that means I'm in Twilight's bedroom, which-
So that means I'm in Twilight's bedroom.
I'm in Twilight's bedroom.
Twilight's.
Bedroom.
With a muffled exclamation, the panicked stallion flailed his way out of bed, backing away from it with horror on his face.
Oh Celestia, what happened last night?! I knew I shouldn't have had so much of that horn-blasted cider! I remember we left Applejack's... why did we leave Applejack's again? And then... Then what!? So long as I didn't... Oh, buck!
Taking a deep breath, Dusk stood still and closed his eyes. Don't panic. That'll get you nowhere.
A knock sounded at the door.
OhCelestiastartpanickingyouaresomuled.
Not trusting his magic, he rushed over to the bed and tidied it. “Just a second!” Frantically he looked around the rest of the room. All seemed in order.
“Alright!” he called, “Come in!”
The door slowly swung inward as Twilight Sparkle nudged it open with her muzzle, a tray laden with breakfast floating after her. A bright smile adorned her features.
“Well, good morning sleepyhead! Though I'm not sure we can call it morning anymore,” she added, quickly glancing at the sun out the window.
Dusk laughed dryly. “Ah yes, he and I have met.”
Twilight giggled. Celestia, he would never get tired of that sound. “Anyway, I thought you might be hungry so I decided to make you breakfast!” A quick glance revealed slightly charred toast, goopy cereal and room temperature orange juice. Dusk Shine was touched – she really had made it herself, not asked Spike! He looked up to meet her nervous gaze. “Do you like it?”
He very, very carefully took the tray from her magical grasp, his horn stinging in protest. “It looks delicious. You didn't have to do this, Twilight.”
She blushed and looked away, bashfully rubbing a forehoof across the other. Why was she acting so nervous? They'd more or less gotten used to each other over the past week, or so Dusk had thought. “Oh, it was nothing”, she lied, forgetting that the stallion she was talking to knew exactly what she was like in the kitchen. “I would've asked if you wanted to come downstairs and eat, but Rarity told me once about this thing with stallions and the morning...” Her eyes flickered briefly, her gaze betraying her thoughts. Dusk flushed bright red and tried his absolute best not to shuffle his back hooves. “...It's not true anyway, I think, but I still thought breakfast in bed would be nice. Anyway... enjoy!”
“I will”, said Dusk, voice sincere. “Thank you again, Twilight.”
The mare smiled widely, and wrapped him up in a brief hug. He immediately tensed up; what was she doing? It wasn't that he- Well, nevermind that, but... Before he could sort out the problem, Twilight disengaged and made to leave the room. Was he still drunk, or was she swaying her flank more than usual? Wait, usual!? I look enough to know the average?! And finally, as if to absolutely confound the stallion, Twilight turned as she opened the door.
With a coy smile, she said, “So... I guess I'll see you tonight?” She seemed to be expecting an answer.
“Definitely”, answered Dusk Shine with a nod. This seemed to make the mare's day, as she all but pranced out of the room, closing the door behind her.
Carefully setting the tray down, Dusk collapsed onto the bed.
Sweet Celestia... What happened last night?
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The promised update! Let me know if I still got it!
Still got it!
…Wow. You should be happy Dusk, making a mare happy while drunk is no easy feat.
Now quick! Question your neighbors! Grill Spike for details! Find out what happened last night!
Finishes reading the twelve chapters of "Giving Love a Helping Hoof".
Hits the 'Updated Favorites' button on the hotbar.
First update on the list: "Giving Love a Helping Hoof"; Chapter 13.
I... am okay with this.
One thing to say though, I still think Princess Blueblood should be Princess Bluebelle, but oh well...
YES!! You glorious bastard!!
How do you manage to write such lengthy chapters in such short periods of time?
Oh, this is not good. I'm willing to bet the arranged a date while he was drunk the night before, and he clearly doesn't remember. Looking forward to more.
2078802
It surprises even me. This guy is some sort of word processing machine. =.
2078849 I call it the brain.
Oh poor Dusk. He doesn't remember a thing and might end up upsetting Twilight because of it.
Sweet mother of Celestia...there's a tiger in the bathroom...OH SHIT!! WE LOST APPLEJACK, CHECK THE ROOF!!!
Well, I hate you a little, I need to get up in four hours. Y U WRITE SUCH A GOOD STORY!
At first, I admit I was a little confused with the Colts but that was handled rather well, decent way to handle it without a second universe involved.
Oh, shit. We gonna have a repeat of The Hangover.
Oh great, they got shitfaced and Dusk doesn't remember what he's doing in Twilight's room. Perfect.
You've definitely still got it
Do it moar!!
Still got it. I bet Twilight just gave him the more comfortable bed last night because she could tell he was drunk.
the same thing almost happened to me a few days ago.
Herly shert! update! This just keeps getting better and better.
Wild stab in the dark... Dusk came home, Twi popped the question, he said yes. (Because Twi said see you tonight. XD)
This chapter was amusing. I await the next one.
2078792 ONORE DIKEDO! I wanted to let him know that he still had it.
Hilarious! Love it!
Why do I have the feeling that more than just Twilight and Dusk are gonna be on a date tonight, given the state of the other colts.
UPDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!!!!!!
Ths is either going to go really well or really badly for him. 
Either way it's going to be funny.
This is the BEST. POSSIBLE. THING!
Oh dear Celestia, Dusk got drunk.
Oh no, i finished reading, now i must play the waiting game again...
2078754
You, good sir, have most indeed still got it.
I know I've said this to you before, but it bears repeating: thank you so much for coming back to this. For a loan time I wondered why I liked it so much. I thought for a while that it was because it was the first ship fic I ever read with nothing but heterosexual shipping(is that even legal?!) but I finally realized, it's just cute, funny, and sweet, and written by a damn talented author.
Again, thank you for continuing.
Must. have. MOAR!!!
Im really liking this story, not many stories are able to grab me and hold me for a long time, and this one certainly is.
Dusk probably only had a single mug of cider... Then again, I'm hardly qualified to make a statement like that since I've never had more than a sip of alcohol.
I wonder how he will find out that he has a date with Twilight. Good work.
You wouldn't ever not have it.
Thank you so much for updating!!!
I wonder why Twilight didn't lock the bathroom door...
Or her bedroom door....
more soon please......
OOOH just WHAT did happen last night
thanks
loved the update
alltheragefaces.com/img/faces/large/troll-troll-face-l.png
Ah, sooner than I expected.
One thing:
So... muled? What? Not sure what that means. I'd have put "gelded." Seriously, tell me what you meant by that or it'll be bugging me all day.
Why do I get the feeling that whatever we think happened, didn't happen?
2077176
Oh well... here, how about this?
fc00.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2011/259/4/c/random_new_lunar_republic_post_by_12rooster-d4a1iau.png
If you join, you get a free wallpaper
fc03.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/257/3/7/new_lunar_republic_wallpaper_by_overdrivenzx-d56in05.png
2078754
You still got it.
Update
And yes you still have it.
If the only thing different about them is their genders, then wouldn't that make their gene pools empty as fuck, and therefore their kids (if they can have any that is) will be defected as shit?
Oh no...oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh n-
Okay, I'm done. But seriously. Oh SHIT. Dusk totally got drunk. Twilight totally asked him out. He totally doesn't remember a blasted thing. HE'S GOING TO NOT SHOW AND SHE WILL BE UPSET AND THE BEAUTIFUL SHIPPING WILL BE RUINED NOOOOO NO GOD NO PLEASE NO!!
Oh, and there better be details about the gang being drunk. Many, MANY details. Drunk poneis are best poneis. I demand it.
Yes, you DEFINITELY still have it. I am so drawn into this story it's not even funny. I knew this was going to be good from the moment I set my eyes on it.
Ermahgerd!!! XD
2081946 Um, excuse me? I never complained about horse puns, I first corrected a guy who thought that Roan was a typo of Rome, then said that I thought Rohan would be a cool pun, and Roan is a type of horse coloration. What is your comment even supposed to be saying?
2078971
Made me lol.
2079448
hehe, I've said it before and I'll say it again, you are most welcome.
2079908
Hmmm... It's not so much a joke as a favour with amusing side-effects.
2079915
Heh, muled... I don't know, screwed? Fucked? Boned? In deep trouble, really. As in, "Oh sweet Jesus I'm so fucked."
2080053
Wow.... cosmic.
2082086
Consistency is a continuing issue, due to the age of the story. I'll give it a look.
2080916
Magic.
Slightly confused. Still... me gusta
Read up to chapter 6 so far and I must say, I'm not very impressed. While the wordchoice and sentence structure are good, the pacing is horrible and the plot feels heavyhanded.
2082827 That's a bullshit answer and you know it. You didn't even try.
SQUEEEE!!! i love this fic...i find it entertaining.
Short but interesting chapter, I would have liked to know exactly how Dusk found Twilight clopping, but I guess that will come next time.
It also rises more interesting aspects to look at, like how the other colts handled their little "bonding time", their counterparts reactions to them arriving all plastered, but above all, how two of the biggest eggheads equestria has ever seen will do on a date
To conclude, the chapter itself was... uneventful in itself, but at the same time becomes the launching point for more shenanigans that make this story as awesome as it always has been, so really looking forward for the next one
PS: Had to read the whole story once again yesterday and holy cow I had forgotten how great it actually is! Seriously, thank you so much for continuing it
2083554
You might be thinking of On A Cross and Arrow
Way to to do the first chapter in a while.
2078794
I don't know why, but when you said Princess Bluebelle, the first thing that came into mind was her face on a bluebell ice cream container. It took me quite by surprise.
2087095
...
I've never heard that response before. I took the name from On a Cross and Arrow.