• Published 13th Feb 2013
  • 1,195 Views, 69 Comments

Pride and Prejudice and Ponies - arglefumph

Rarity reads her favorite romance novel, Pride and Prejudice, to her little sister Sweetie Belle.

  • ...

Chapter 13

The next day opened a new scene at Carousel Boutique, as Spike decided it was finally time to propose to Rarity. His vacation ended in less than a week, and he knew that he could tarry no longer.

As this was a private affair of the heart, Spike knew that he had to be discreet in proclaiming his intentions, and...nah, I'm just kidding. Spike was about a subtle as a buffalo in a pie-eating contest.

Fluttershy was the first to finish lunch that afternoon. As soon as she left the room, Spike jumped on her chair and shouted, "EXCUSE ME! I want to talk to Rarity privately!"

The Bennets looked up from their plates, with confused expressions. "Yes?" Mr. Bennet asked.

"So...could you all leave now?" Spike asked.

"We're eating right now," Rarity said. "Can't it wait?"

"Yeah, or maybe you two could talk in another room?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"It's super important! I have to talk to Rarity right now!" Spike said. "Please, just go, okay? I don't want an audience while I propose to—I mean, talk to her."

Oh, no, Rarity thought. No no no no no.

Mrs. Bennet's eyes lit up with joy. "Is that so?" she asked. "In that case, we shall exit immediately! Let's go, everypony!"

No no no no no no no no no no!

Rarity made a desperate grab as her family left the room. "Father, I beg you, please don't leave me here," she said. "Surely, you can do something!"

Mr. Bennet looked suddenly old. "Rarity, I...I only wish the best for you," he said.

Rarity groaned. Once her family was out of the room—leaving the door wide open behind them, Rarity noticed—Spike began.

"My dear Rarity," Spike said. "It may come as a surprise to you, but I did not come here to Ponyville just for a vacation. I came here to find a bride, a companion for my future life. These past days, I have fixated myself on you, because you are clearly the most beautiful out of all of my cousins who are still available."

Rarity's anger flared at this, but she calmed herself.

"Originally, I wanted to come here in order to sort out the inheritance problem," Spike said. "But my very dear patroness, Lady Chrysalis, recommended that I look for a bride among one of you. She is a most wonderful pony, and I love her so dearly that I could not ignore her advice, especially when it is so agreeable to my happiness."

I hate this Chrysalis mare already, Rarity thought. If you love her so much, why don't you propose to her, then?

"Your mother has made it clear that she wants you to get married. Therefore, there can be no doubt that this is a greatly desirable match which will make our families happy. So, Rarity, will you marry me?"

"No," Rarity said.

"...No?" Spike asked.


Spike paused for a moment. "Ah..." he said at last. "I've heard about this! You're playing hard to get! Sneaky!"

"No!" Rarity said. "I don't want to marry you! I want to marry a pony, not a dragon!"

"But that's what makes this a good match!" Spike said. "Your special talent is finding gems, and my special talent is eating them! Just think of it! You can spend the rest of your life, happily searching for rubies and sapphires for your beloved Spike."

"This is exactly the problem with us being together," Rarity said. "You're too immature for me. I'm over twice your age, Spike. Do you honestly think it could work?"

Spike frowned. "I'm not going to say that you're being cruel right now," he said. "But the next time I propose to you, I expect to hear a more favorable answer."

"Next time you propose?" Rarity asked. "No! I already turned you down, once! Why is there going to be a next time?"

"Obviously, you're just pretending not to like me," Spike said. "I mean, come on. This is the best moment of your entire life! I'm a terrific catch, and besides, it's not likely that any other stallion is going to want to marry you, right? Like you said, you're getting pretty old. All those spa trips and makeup aren't going to cover up your wrinkles forever."

"I am perfectly serious in my refusal," Rarity said. "You could not make me happy, and I am convinced that I am the last mare in the world who could make you so. Please do not speak to me ever again."

Rarity turned and left the room abruptly. Behind her, she could hear Spike burst into tears, bewailing his poor fortune.

As Rarity expected, her family members were waiting just outside the door.

"Oh my gosh, that was crazy!" Pinkie Pie shouted.

"You foolish girl, what have you done?" Mrs. Bennet cried. "You must accept his proposal immediately!"

"Darling, Rarity can make her own decisions," Mr. Bennet said. "And I believe she has made the right one."

"No!" Mrs. Bennet said.

"Yeah, good job, Sis," Rainbow Dash said. "You really stood up for yourself."

"I wanna be just like you when I grow up!" Sweetie Belle said.

"Thank you for the support, everypony," Rarity said.

Mrs. Bennet draped herself over Rarity and sobbed. "Out of all the horrible things that could have happened!" she said. "This is the! Worst! Possible! THING!"

Her declaration was premature, as the front door to the Carousel Boutique flew open shortly afterwards. Fluttershy ran in, screaming and crying.

"Fluttershy?" everypony asked.

"Nooooo!" Fluttershy cried. "It—I—"

"What's wrong, dear?" Mr. Bennet asked.

Fluttershy couldn't talk. She threw an envelope on the ground. Rarity picked up the letter with her magic, and some of the words instantly jumped out at her.

—Leaving Ponyville forever—

—Sorry I won't see you again—

—Big Macintosh Bingley