• Published 13th Feb 2013
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Pride and Prejudice and Ponies - arglefumph



Rarity reads her favorite romance novel, Pride and Prejudice, to her little sister Sweetie Belle.

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Chapter 21

"Alas, cruel fate!" Rarity cried. "What bitter irony! In wounding Darcy, I have wounded myself all the more! O self-inflicted wound of fate, / why stingest thou myself so late?"

"She's acting weird again," Sweetie Belle commented.

"Your sister can be a drama queen sometimes," Mr. Bennet said. "She gets it from your mother."

"I hated him, Father!" Rarity said. "I hated Darcy, because I perceived he was prideful and overquick to judge! But now I see that I was the vain one who judged unjustly! I accused him of being the villain, when he is a stallion of the highest caliber! No fault can be found in his actions, which I had charged against him as eternal proof of his wickedness!"

"Do calm down," Mr. Bennet said, taking the letter from Rarity. "I believe I shall judge the contents of this letter."

Rarity bewailed the current circumstances, especially the fact that she had been so easily deceived by the foul Blueblood. Sweetie Belle tried jumping up next to her father to see the letter. "What's it say?" she asked.

"Quite a lot," Mr. Bennet said, skimming through the paragraphs. "For the sake of your happiness and mine...blah blah blah...no comparison between this atrocity and...ah, here we go! I had not been long in Ponyville, before I saw that Big Macintosh preferred your elder sister to any other young woman in the country. But it was not till the evening of the dance at Netherfield that I had any apprehension of his feeling a serious attachment."

Mr. Bennet silently read the six paragraphs about Fluttershy and Big Macintosh. A frown appeared on his face as he re-read it. "So that's why Big Macintosh left Ponyville," he said at length. "I can see that I find this explanation less satisfactory than you do, Rarity, but I am glad to finally know the truth."

"What's the truth?!" Sweetie Belle whined.

"It was all a humongous misunderstanding. Mr. Darcy received the wrong impression of Fluttershy, because your mother couldn't keep her mouth shut," Mr. Bennet said, shaking his head. "I remember that night at Netherfield. She wouldn't stop talking about how rich and handsome Big Macintosh was, even when I told her to stop."

"You can't pin the blame entirely on Mother," Rarity said. "Mr. Darcy also mentions that he disapproved of a certain stallion who turns everything into a joke."

"I have no idea who he's talking about there," Mr. Bennet said. "There's certainly no wise-cracking stallion like that in our family."


The three unicorns traveled by carriage to Downtown Canterlot. The letter from Mr. Darcy only increased their desire to talk to the Apple Family, but as they were unfamiliar with the area, it took over a half-hour of searching before a familiar face appeared.

"Sweetie Belle? Is is you!" a red-maned filly said. "What are you doing all the way in Canterlot?"

"Appleblo—oh, no WAY! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!"

"Huh? What is it?"

"Applebloom got her cutie mark!" Sweetie Belle cried.

Applebloom proudly displayed her flank for all the Bennets to see. "I got it two weeks ago! What do you think?"

"An apple," Mr. Bennet said. "Very creative."

"Why am I the only pony not to have a cutie mark?!" Sweetie Belle moaned.

"Applebloom, is your family nearby?" Rarity asked. "We need to speak to your brother."

"It's about Fluttershy, ain't it?" Applebloom asked. "Yeah, they're not too far. I'll take you."

"Thank you, Applebloom," Mr. Bennet said.

Applebloom described how she got her cutie mark in tremendous detail, as she led them two blocks to her family's stall. Big Macintosh was seated behind the stall, looking doleful, until he saw the Bennets. His eyes lit up and he burst forward with fervor, jumping on top of Mr. Bennet.

"Is it true?" he asked. "Does my shmoopy-doo still love me?"

"Oof," Mr. Bennet said. "A pleasure to see you again, good sir."

"Oh, um...sorry," Mr. Macintosh said, helping the other stallion off of the ground. "I got a little excited, that's all. See, Mr. Darcy sent me a letter today about—"

"He sent you a letter, too?" Rarity asked.

"Eeeyup," Big Macintosh said. "He said that he talked with one of Fluttershy's sisters, and he was wrong about everything! So is it true? Does she love me?"

"She...she certainly cares for you a good deal," Mr. Bennet said, a bit hesitant to use the word "love".

"Yeeeeehaw!" Big Macintosh cheered. "It like to broke my heart when I heard she didn't care for me! It's been a month, and I still can't stop thinking about her! She's different from all the other mares I've met!"

"He's been real mopey ever since we left Ponyville," Applebloom said.

"Fluttershy's been acting the same way," Sweetie Belle said.

"Thought so," Applebloom said. "Grown-ups are weird. If they like each other, why can't they say so?"

"Yeah, like, Rarity talked with Mr. Darcy last night, and—"

"That's enough of that conversation, Sweetie Belle," Rarity told her sister.

Meanwhile, Mr. Bennet apologized to Big Macintosh for his wife's indiscretions. This was unnecessary, as Mr. Macintosh was not upset about what happened in the slightest, as he was too busy being pleased to hear that Fluttershy didn't hate him. Big Mac wanted to go to Ponyville immediately and sweep Fluttershy off of her hooves, but Mr. Bennet convinced him that it would be smarter to contact her before visiting out of the blue.

The Bennets ended up spending the day with the Apple Bingley Family, and after dinner, they took a carriage back to Rosings. Along the way, Rarity wondered what she could possibly say to Mr. Darcy when they arrived. An apology was surely in order, but how could she properly apologize for what she had said to him? And further, would Mr. Darcy even listen to such an apology?

All thoughts of Mr. Darcy were banished from Rarity's mind, when the group returned to their cottage to find Twilight and Spike waiting for them.

"Where have you been?" Twilight demanded. "We've been waiting for you for hours!"

"I-I'm sorry," Rarity said. "We were in town. What's wrong?"

"It's a disaster!" Spike said. "Our family is going to be ruined! Destroyed!"

"Spike puked up a letter for you during the wedding rehearsal," Twilight said.

"I don't puke letters," Spike said. "I just...magically send and receive them using my fire breath."

"I know that, Darling," Twilight said, rubbing the top of Spike's head affectionately. "I'm just joking with you."

"Anyway, you have to read the letter!" Spike said. "It's from your wife!"

"Okay, okay," Mr. Bennet said easily. "I wasn't aware that today was 'Write Letters to Other Ponies Day', that's all."

Mr. Bennet's good humor disappeared as he read the already-opened letter. "WHAT?" he shouted. "PINKIE PIE IS MARRIED?"

Rarity and Sweetie Belle let out equal gasps of astonishment. "Impossible!" Rarity said. "She turned eighteen yesterday! Who could she have married?"

"Blueblood Wickham!" Mr. Bennet said. He collapsed onto the nearby sofa. "Of all the things that could have happened, this is THE! WORST! POSSIBLE! THING!"