• Published 13th Feb 2013
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Pride and Prejudice and Ponies - arglefumph



Rarity reads her favorite romance novel, Pride and Prejudice, to her little sister Sweetie Belle.

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Chapter 17

The next day, the Bennets took a carriage into the city. They went to see Queen Celestia give a speech, and afterwards, they went to visit their grandparents.

"Yay, Gramma and Grampa!" Sweetie Belle said.

"Father," Rarity said. "What did Lady Chrysalis mean yesterday, when she talked about the Bennet family's expectations?"

"It's not important," Mr. Bennet said. "You should forget about it."

"Are your parents not proud of you?" Rarity asked. "Is that why they never visit us in Ponyville?"

Mr. Bennet sighed. "I...it's a long story. Have I ever told you how your mother and I first met?"

"Mom says you met at the Grand Galloping Gala," Sweetie Belle said. "She was wearing a beautiful dress, and all the stallions liked her!"

"Don't let your mother know I told you, but that's not quite how it happened," Mr. Bennet smiled. "The truth is that she...well, let me back up a bit. I was born and raised here in Canterlot."

"Not Ponyville?" Rarity asked.

"No, I grew up here," Mr. Bennet said. "My parents aren't the richest of ponies, but we were quite well-off. My brother and I lived comfortably for years, and...let's see...when I was seventeen, I was the class valedictorian of Queen Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns."

"But that's a prestigious school!" Rarity gasped.

"I was a prestigious student," Mr. Bennet said. "As a reward for my good grades, I got a ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala. That's where I met your mother."

"Was it love at first sight?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Not exactly," Mr. Bennet said. "Your mother wasn't there as a guest. She was there as a scullery maid. Sort of like...Cinderella. Her job was to clean to clean to kitchens and the bathrooms."

"Ew!" Sweetie Belle said.

"She was so busy listening to the gossip at the ball that she didn't pay attention to what she was doing, and she spilled coffee all over my new suit," Mr. Bennet said. "We yelled at each other for a bit, and we were thrown out of the Grand Galloping Gala. Then it was love at first sight."

"That's not at all how Mother tells the story," Rarity said.

"No, I doubt she would tell it that way," Mr. Bennet said. "We started seeing each other after that, but nopony approved, especially not my parents. They wanted me to finish school and start working at the family business, not fall in love with a low-class servant. But your mother and I...we...on my eighteenth birthday, we ran away and got married."

"What?" Rarity gasped.

"I know," Mr. Bennet said. "Our parents were furious. Getting married while still in school? It was unheard of! They practically refused to talk to me for three years!"

"Why three years?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"That was when Fluttershy was born," Mr. Bennet said. "Once there were grandfoals, my parents became much happier with my marriage. Still, we ended up moving away from Canterlot when Rarity was born. That's why we don't see your grandparents often."

"Wow," Rarity said. She couldn't believe somepony in her family would get married on their eighteenth birthday!


In Ponyville, Mr. Blueblood Wicked, er, Wickham was down on his luck. After leaving the market, he ran into his two bookies, Flim and Flam. Flam opened up his mouth and began singing.

Why, look at what we got here, brother of mine, right here in town,
It's the pony who bet a lot of money while 300 bits down!

Flim picked up the melody.

Maybe he's not aware that before you make bets,
You need to pay off your gambling debts!

Both of them sang the next line together.

At the Flim Flam Brothers Super Shady, Quite Illegal Casino!

"I'll get you your money!" Blueblood said. "I just need more time! The bank refused to give me a loan!"

"We gave you a month, pal!" Flim said. "You paid us 1000 bits, but you still owe 2000 more!"

"Do you want to go to jail, buddy? Is that it?" Flam asked. "From what I hear, this isn't the first time you've been late in paying off debts!"

"No, please!" Blueblood said. "I'll figure out a way to get your money! Maybe if you let me play another round of poker...!"

"No way," Flim said. "But since you already paid a third of your debt, we're giving you an extra week."

"Two thousand bits, one week. Otherwise, we'll report you to the police," Flam said. He began to sing again. "And you'll be in jail for life!"

So take this opportunity
And come up with our money!
He's Flim!
He's Flam!
We're the world famous Flim Flam Brothers!
Gambling bookies extraordinaire!

Blueblood didn't know what he disliked more: the crippling debt or the singing. He decided to visit Carousel Boutique, in hopes of getting some money out of Rarity. Her family was rich, right? They had five children, after all!

Pinkie Pie answered the door. "Hi, Mr. Blueblood! If you're here for Rarity, you're too late because she's in Canterlot! But if you're here for my party, you're too early because it's in three hours!"

"Your...party?" Blueblood asked.

"It's my birthday! I turn eighteen today!" Pinkie said. "I'm officially an adult!"

"Really," Mr. Blueblood said. "That's old enough to be married..."

"Uh huh!" Pinkie Pie said.

"And this is a rather large house..."

"Yep-a-rooni!" Pinkie said. "It's perfect for the party!"

"And your parents would probably support a new son-in-law..." Blueblood said to himself.

"What was that?" Pinkie asked.

"I was just saying that you look beautiful today, Pinkie," Blueblood said. "I will most certainly attend your special birthday party! But until then, how about a special birthday kiss?"

"A birth—mmmph!" Pinkie said, as Blueblood grabbed her head and forced his lips upon hers. Pinkie's eyes rolled back as the sensations swept through her mouth.

"Since you're eighteen, that means you get seventeen more," Blueblood whispered breathily. "But let's save for that for when we can be alone...in private."

"W-wow..." Pinkie Pie said.

Blueblood excused himself, as a wobbly-legged Pinkie Pie tried to regain her composure.

"I didn't know it was customary to make out with stallions on your eighteenth birthday!" Pinkie Pie commented. "This will be the best birthday ever!"