• Published 13th Feb 2013
  • 1,195 Views, 69 Comments

Pride and Prejudice and Ponies - arglefumph



Rarity reads her favorite romance novel, Pride and Prejudice, to her little sister Sweetie Belle.

  • ...
2
 69
 1,195

Chapter 6

"Applebloom, you need to clean up your room," Applejack ordered her sister. "Miss Rarity is going to be using it tonight."

"Whaaaat?" Applebloom whined. "Why?"

"She says that she can't go home, until her sister is better," Applejack said. "Load of hogwash, if you ask me. It's not like she's gonna do something to take away the cold."

"I think the affection she shows for her sister is very pleasing," Mr. Darcy said.

"Don't pay any attention to him," Applejack said. "He's only saying that because he thinks she's pretty."

"Pretty rude," Applebloom said. "I'm getting kicked outta my room by some stranger pony? It's not fair!"

"Well, life ain't fair," Applejack said. "And your brother won't listen to sense, because he thinks Miss Fluttershy is pretty. I swear, stallions must have a disease where their brains disappear whenever there's a mare around."

"I take offense at that remark," Mr. Darcy said.

"Then ask yourself this, Mr. Fancypants," Applejack said. "What would you do, if your sister acted like Miss Bennet? Running five miles in the rain?"

"That...would be foolish," Mr. Darcy said.

"Eeyup," Applebloom said. "So where am I gonna sleep tonight?"

"You'll be with me," Applejack said. "Unless somepony else decides to spend the night here. How many guest rooms do ponies think there are on a farmhouse?"

The sisters continued talking for some time, until Big Macintosh stepped into the sitting-room with news. "The doctor says it'll take a few days, but Miss Fluttershy should be fine," he announced.

"Great!" Applebloom said. She was pleased, because it meant she would get her room back all the sooner.

"That's good news," Applejack said.

Mr. Darcy smirked at Applejack. "So you're concerned about Miss Fluttershy's health now?"

"Always have been," Applejack said. "Her sister might not be too bright, but Fluttershy's certainly a sweet girl. I wish with all my heart that she was well settled in life, but with such low connections as her father and mother can provide, I am afraid there is no chance of it."

"Sweetie Belle told me they have a rich uncle somewhere," Applebloom said.

"Oh, I'm sure they have a rich uncle," Applejack said. "Where does he live? Dreamland? Cheapville?"

"If all their relatives lived in Cheapville," cried Mr. Macintosh, "it would not make them one jot less agreeable."

"But it certainly must lessen their chances of marrying stallions of any consideration in the world," Mr. Darcy said, frowning slightly.


Following the doctor's appearance, Fluttershy's health was much improved. She could not leave the bedroom, but the care and attention that Mr. Macintosh lavished upon her made the cold much less dreadful to deal with.

The Bennet family visited the next day, to look after Fluttershy's health. Mrs. Bennet was notably absent from the group. Since they did not want to overwhelm Fluttershy by all visiting her at once, they went to see her in pairs.

While Rainbow Dash and Mr. Bennet visited Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie started up a game of loo in the sitting-room with the others. Rarity, who had enough of the Bingley sisters' company for one day, decided to avoid the card game by reading a book by herself in the corner of the room. Much to her dismay, she soon found that a certain pony was paying more attention to her than the cards.

"Mr. Darcy, I should think that watching me read would not be such an interesting subject to a worldly stallion such as yourself," Rarity said.

"I apologize," Mr. Darcy said. "I was lost in thought. My gaze was not intently directed at you, Miss Rarity."

"Do you often make a habit of doing things you do not intend?" Rarity asked.

Mr. Darcy adjusted his monocle. "I do not," Mr. Darcy said. "I have spent my entire life, avoiding the weaknesses which expose one to ridicule."

"Such as pride and vanity, no doubt," Rarity said.

"Vanity is a weakness, but pride is not," Mr. Darcy said. "Where there is superiority of mind, pride will always be under good regulation."

Rarity turned away to hide a smile. If Mr. Darcy considered himself to be of a superior mind which excluded pride, his life's work was wasted.

"Are you two quite done, then?" Applejack asked, irritated. "It's Darcy's turn."

"Yes, I understand his character now," Rarity said. "Mr. Darcy is absolutely perfect, with no flaws whatsoever. He says so himself."

"I made no such pretension," Mr. Darcy said. "I dare not vouch for my temper. But flaws are inevitable in any pony, for there is a defect in every disposition."

"Yes, and your disposition is to hate everybody," Rarity said.

"And yours must be to willfully misunderstand everyone," Darcy said, smiling.


Back in the real world, Sweetie Belle interrupted her older sister.

"Rarity, is anything going to happen in this story?" Sweetie Belle asked.

Rarity put down her copy of Pride and Prejudice. "What are you saying? It's been fascinating so far!"

"For the past ten minutes, all they've done is talk to each other!" Sweetie Belle complained. "When is it going to be back to the good stuff?"

Rarity sighed, then skipped ahead five chapters in the book.


Mr. Macintosh and Mr. Bennet came down the stairs, laughing like old friends. "Girls, time to go!" Mr. Bennet said.

The girls lined up, and Mr. Macintosh smiled. "I must compliment you on your family," said he. "I am constantly amazed at how accomplished all young ladies are."

"All young ladies, accomplished?" Mr. Bennet smiled. "I am sure I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Oh, it's certainly true," Mr. Macintosh said. "They are all so talented and intelligent. I feel overwhelmed merely talking to one lady, much less five."

"Nonsense," Mr. Darcy said. "That is a matter of exaggeration. In my life, I have not know more than a half-dozen mares who are really accomplished."

"Then you must expect too much out of mares," Rarity said.

"Hardy," Mr. Darcy said. "I believe that no pony can be accomplished, unless she knows singing, music, drawing, dancing and the modern languages. Unicorns must know a wide variety of magic, pegasi must know how to fly, and ponies of all types should be avid readers."

"That's quite a list of accomplishments," Mr. Bennet said.

"Indeed," Rarity said. "With such requirements, I find it astonishing that you know any accomplished mares. But I sincerely doubt you believe anyone besides yourself to be accomplished. Good day, Mr. Dercy."

Dercy? Darcy wondered, as the Bennet Family left the house. Applejack walked over to Mr. Darcy and put her hoof on his shoulder.

"Tough luck, lover boy," Applejack said. "But in case you couldn't tell, she doesn't like you very much."

"The feeling is mutual!" Mr. Darcy insisted.

"Sure, just keep telling yourself that," Applejack said.

"Now, AJ, don't tease my best friend," Big Macintosh said. He put his arm around Mr. Darcy. "If you like Miss Rarity so much, maybe I could convince Fluttershy to put in a good word for you."

"Augh!" Mr. Darcy cried, throwing off the Bingley siblings.

Author's Note:

Having to skip ahead five chapters in _Pride and Prejudice_, to get to a part where they do something other than talk? True story.