• Published 13th Feb 2013
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Pride and Prejudice and Ponies - arglefumph



Rarity reads her favorite romance novel, Pride and Prejudice, to her little sister Sweetie Belle.

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Chapter 1

Mr. and Mrs. Bennet were a happy and sad couple, who lived in the Carousel Boutique in the quaint little town of Ponyville. Their happiness, as well as their sadness, rested upon the fact that they had five daughters. As a result, there was rarely a dull or quiet moment at the Bennet House.

"My goodness!" Mr. Bennet said, holding his hooves over his ears as he walked through the sitting room. "You girls make almost as much noise as your mother does!"

Mrs. Bennet, who had entered the room with her husband, frowned slightly. "That's not funny, dear," she said. "But I could hear the commotion from all the way in the kitchen. Why were you shouting, Sweetie Belle?"

"Scootaloo got her cutie mark today!" Sweetie Belle whined. "Now I'm the only filly in school who doesn't have one!"

"Oh, dear," Mrs. Bennet said.

"Fluttershy says she and Rainbow Dash got their cutie marks when they were ten!" Sweetie Belle said. "But I'm eleven! When am I gonna be old enough to get a cutie mark?!"

"Age has nothing to do with it," Mr. Bennet said. "Why, your sister Rarity got her cutie mark when she was...um...how old were you again?"

"I remember, it was the month before Sweetie Belle was born," Rarity said. "I was nine."

"AAAAAAAA!" Sweetie Belle screamed.

"Sweetie Belle Bennet!" Mrs. Bennet said. "No screaming inside the house! A lady does not scream!"

"Huh," Mr. Bennet said. "Good thing I'm not a lady, then. Pinkie Pie would—" he stopped and did a quick head count of his family members. "Girls, where's Pinkie Pie?"

"Oh no!" Mrs. Bennet said. "Don't tell me she's run off again!"

"Relax, she just went to get some cookies from the store," Rainbow Dash said.

"Without adult supervision?!" Mrs. Bennet cried. "She could get hurt! Or robbed! Or she could meet her future husband, without anypony there to introduce her to him!"

Everypony in the room groaned, except for Mrs. Bennet.

"What?" she asked. "That could happen, and it would be a disaster! A tragedy! A reason for—"

"Darling," Mr. Bennet said calmly. "Do you remember what I told you last month? When you forced Pinkie to get a job at Sugarcube Corners, because you thought Mr. Cake would fall in love with her?"

"That is a completely different situation!" Mrs. Bennet scoffed. "After all, how was I supposed to know he's already married?"

"Um...he works with Mrs. Cake," Fluttershy pointed out.

"I thought she was his mother!" Mrs. Bennet said. "And besides, he and Pinkie make such a cute couple. I don't see how you could blame me for one innocent mistake!"

Rarity, who still remembered the Hearts and Hooves Day she had been forced to spend with Hayseed Turnip Truck, muttered something unkind under her breath. Rainbow Dash, the only one close enough to hear anything, smirked at her.

They didn't have long to wait before Pinkie Pie returned. A few minutes later, the front door burst open and Pinkie Pie ran in. "Super important news, everypony!" she said. "Super duper important news!"

"Pinkamena Bennet!" Mrs. Bennet scolded. "What have I told you about going out alone?"

"Mom!" Pinkie whined. "I don't need a foalsitter to take me everywhere! I'm almost an adult!"

"You don't turn 18 for two more months!" Mrs. Bennet said. "Why, when I was your age—"

Mr. Bennet interrupted, hoping to avoid an argument. "What's the news, Pinkie?" he asked.

"New ponies in town!" Pinkie said, bouncing around the room. "There are new ponies in town!"

All the Bennets let out exclamations of interest at this, and they crowded around Pinkie Pie, asking questions. Pinkie was glad to be the center of attention.

"You know Granny Smith, the old mare who lives at Sweet Apple Acres?" Pinkie Pie asked. "She finally sold her farm to some of her relatives! I caught a glimpse of them as they were moving their luggage through town!"

"What were they like?" everypony wanted to know.

"Two of them were mares," Pinkie said. "They both looked kind of nasty, if you ask me. One was orange, and she's around our age. The other one was a yellow filly."

"Does she have a cutie mark?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"I don't remember," Pinkie Pie said. "But the third pony! Oh my gosh! His name is Big Macintosh, and it fits, because he's the largest stallion I've ever seen!"

"A stallion?" Mrs. Bennet cried. She picked up Fluttershy and spun around in a circle. "Do you hear that, Fluttershy? We found you a husband!"

"Eep!" Fluttershy said, blushing.

"Dear, you're moving too quickly again..." Mr. Bennet said, holding a hoof to his forehead.

"Nonsense," Mrs. Bennet said. "It is a universally acknowledged truth that if a stallion is single and in possession of a good fortune, he needs a wife. And our girls are the prettiest, most elegant, most wonderful mares in town! Mr. Macintosh is sure to fall in love with one of them, when we invite him over for dinner tonight!"

"Tonight?" the girls gasped.

"Talk about short notice!" Rainbow Dash complained.

"I don't have anything to wear..." Fluttershy said.

"But I was going to visit my friend Twilight!" Rarity said.

"You'll have to change your plans," Mrs. Bennet said. "If you don't stay for dinner, how are you going to meet Mr. Macintosh?"

"Oh! I know!" Pinkie Pie said. "Everypony that moves to Ponyville gets a big Welcome to Ponyville party, right? We can meet the Bingleys there!"

"A party? Even better!" Mrs. Bennet said. "You can dance the night away with Mr. Macintsoh! The bonds of love will flow as swiftly as your feet! Your father and I first met at a dance, you know!"

Mrs. Bennet starting humming a waltz. She stood up on her hind legs and grabbed her husband, forcing him to dance along with her.

"Darling...there's a...problem..." Mr. Bennet said, trying to keep pace with his wife's hooves.

"What's that, dear?" Mrs. Bennet asked.

"We haven't been invited to any party yet," Mr. Bennet said.

Mrs. Bennet gasped and dropped her husband. He fell on the floor with a loud crash. "Oh my Celestia, you're right!" she said. "You'll have to get us an invitation!"

"Me?" Mr. Bennet asked, rubbing his right hind leg as he got up from the ground. "I'm not the one who wants to marry him! Why don't you send our daughters?"

"It would be improper for one of our daughters to call on him!" Mrs. Bennet said. "You're the only stallion in our family, so you have to be the one to meet Mr. Macintosh."

"Fine, fine, I'll get going," Mr. Bennet laughed. "You girls take care of your mother while I'm gone, okay?"

The girls all kissed their father goodbye, as he put on his hat and travelling coat.

"Good luck with Mr. Macintosh," Fluttershy said.

"Make sure to tell us all about him," Rarity said.

"Let me know if the filly has a cutie mark!" Sweetie Belle said.

"Don't come back until you get an invitation to the welcoming party at Sweet Apple Acres!" Mrs. Bennet called.

Mr. Bennet shook his head and smiled as he left. "You know," he said to no one in particular, "she wasn't quite this forceful about relationships when I was courting her."