• Published 13th Feb 2013
  • 1,196 Views, 69 Comments

Pride and Prejudice and Ponies - arglefumph



Rarity reads her favorite romance novel, Pride and Prejudice, to her little sister Sweetie Belle.

  • ...
2
 69
 1,196

Chapter 7

It was four days, before Fluttershy was well enough to travel home. Her sisters all went to Sweet Apple Acres to pick her up, and they were happy to see her out of bed and walking around.

"Thank you for your hospitality," Fluttershy said before leaving.

"It was my pleasure," Mr. Macintosh said. "Just try not to get sick again, okay?"

Fluttershy furtively looked left and right, then kissed Mr. Macintosh on the cheek. "Thanks again," she said.

"Eeee...yup," Mr. Macintosh said. He was too stunned to say anything else.

Fluttershy giggled slightly. Mr. Darcy frowned at her forward manner, and his eyes unconsciously drifted towards Rarity. Disgust covered her face, when she realized he was staring at her again.

Why does he keep looking at me? she wondered. He made it quite clear at the dance that he hates me, and the feeling is mutual.

"All right, that's enough of that," Applejack said, stepping forward and shooing the Bennets out the door. "Y'all have a safe trip home, now!"

"Bye, Sweetie Belle!" Applebloom said.

Fluttershy let out a cry of delight as the group walked off of the farm. "It's so nice to be outside again!" she said.

"Sure, that's why you're smiling," Rainbow Dash said, winking. "It has nothing to do with Big Mac."

"He was so kind and friendly while I was sick!" Fluttershy said. "Oh! But don't tell Mother! She'll get...you know..."

"Super obsessive and start buying wedding dresses?" Pinkie Pie suggested.

"I won't say anything!" Sweetie Belle said.

"Me neither," Rarity said.

"Actually..." Fluttershy said. "Um...I didn't want to say anything before, but...why didn't Mom come to visit me?"

Rarity frowned. "Mother and Father are...they..."

"He hasn't spoken to her in days," Rainbow Dash said. "He stopped talking to her once you got sick."

"Oh, dear," Fluttershy said. "I don't want them to fight because of me..."


Fluttershy's worries were dispelled, when the front door to the Carousel Boutique was opened. Inside the main room, the Bennet parents were running around the room and giggling like foals.

"Can't catch me! Can't catch me!" Mr. Bennet sang.

"Hold still, you slippery eel!" Mrs. Bennet said. She tackled her husband and smothered him with kisses. He grabbed her head and pulled her in closer for a deeper kiss.

"Ew!" Sweetie Belle said. "Grown-up love!"

Rainbow Dash covered Sweetie Belle's eyes.

"Um...hello?" Fluttershy called. "We're back!"

The two parents got up quickly from the ground, where they had been rolling around. Smoothing down his shirt, Mr. Bennet said, "Girls! We weren't expecting you back so soon!"

"Clearly," Rarity said dryly.

Mrs. Bennet enveloped Fluttershy in a large hug. "Oh, my darling! It's such a joy to see you again! I hope your half-week with Mr. Bingley was productive!"

"I...um..."

"I am sure nothing inappropriate happened," Rainbow Dash said. She put on a fake accent, imitating Rarity's voice. "Unlike some mares, Fluttershy does not run around houses, playing chase with stallions!"

Mrs. Bennet blushed. "Your father and I are married! It's perfectly natural for us to act like..."

"Teenagers?" Pinkie Pie asked. "And you're always telling me that I need to grow up and act like an adult! For shame!"

"Yes, well, your mother and I have patched things up," Mr. Bennet said. "In any event, I have some news for all of you girls. I received a letter in the mail, which says we are having a dinner guest tonight."

"A dinner guest? Who?"

Mr. Bennet smiled. "He is both a gentleman and a stranger."

"Mr. Bingley, I am sure!" Mrs. Bennet said. "We will have to set up extra food for him! The best way to a stallion's heart is through his stomach!"

"It is not Mr. Bingley," said her husband. "It is a pony whom I never saw in my whole life."

"Just tell us who it is already!" Sweetie Belle said.

"You girls have no appreciation from dramatic revelations," Mr. Bennet sighed. "The guest is our cousin, Mr. Collins."

"The stallion who is stealing the entire estate from under our muzzles?" Mrs. Bennet asked. "I shall have nothing to do with him!"

"Your opinion may change, when you read the letter he sent," Mr. Bennet said. He gave the letter to Fluttershy, to read out loud.

"Hunstrod, near Trotterham, Kent. 15th January.

Dear Mr. Bennet,

The disagreement between yourself and my late father always bothered me. Now that my father is no longer with us, I see no reason for me to continue his campaign against your family.

Specifically, I wish to alleviate your concerns about my inheritance of the Longhorn Estate. It is my most earnest desire to repair our broken family, by making amends to you and your lovely daughters. I assure you that there is a special way in which I alone can please them, but more on that later.

I have recently gained a distinguished patron, the Right Honorable Lady Chrysalis de Bourgh. She is a most wonderful mare, the like of which I have not met elsewhere. She has graciously granted me the opportunity to go on holiday for a fortnight, and as my travels will take me near Ponyville, I immediately thought of you.

If you should have no objection to receiving me into your house, I request the satisfaction of meeting you and your family. I shall arrive on Monday, February 18th, by four o'clock.

I remain, dear sir,

With respectful compliments to your lady and daughters,

Your well-wisher and friend,

SPIKE COLLINS

PS. I'm a dragon."

"Wha-wha-wha-whaaaaat?" Mrs. Bennet yelled. The other Bennets soon burst forth with their own thoughts and feelings on the letter.

"Who is this Lady Chrysalis?"

"What does he mean by pleasing us?"

"A dragon?"

"I hope he talks less than he writes."

"We can give him a new pony party!"


Spike was true to his letter. At precisely four o'clock, he knocked on the door of Carousel Boutique and was received into the house. He was still a young dragon, but he spoke with much ease and at great length.

"I have come here to make amends," Spike said. "It would be wonderful if our two families were to be...united, if you know what I mean."

"What does he mean?" Rainbow Dash whispered to Rarity.

"I have no idea," Rarity whispered back.

"I had heard much of the beauty of your daughters, but in this case, the rumors have fallen short of the truth," Spike said. His eye lingered on Rarity. "I daresay, I have not seen such lovely young women in all my life."

"Um...thank you?" Rarity said, a little uncomfortable.

"Did I mention that, by dragon laws, I'm old enough to be married?" Spike said. "And by most fortunate coincidence, your three eldest daughters are of marrying age as well."

"Why, yes!" Mrs. Bennet said. "Fluttershy has had great success with her newest suitor. In fact, I would be surprised if she does not get a proposal within a few weeks."

Fluttershy blushed and mumbled something about Big Macintosh.

"Congratulations," Spike said. "I hope that one of your other daughters will soon get a proposal as well." He winked at Rainbow Dash.

It soon became apparent that Spike had come to the Bennet family with a wife in view, as he meant to choose one of the daughters, if he found them as pretty and amiable as he had heard. Marriage was his plan of amends for inheriting their father's estate, and he thought it was an excellent one, full of eligibility and suitableness, as well as excessively generous on his part.

The Bennet girls, however, could not disagree more. Even Pinkie Pie, who usually enjoyed outlandish things, had no pleasure in considering a relationship with a dragon or a cousin, much less both. Though dragons age differently than ponies, the age difference between Spike and the others seemed an insurmountable challenge.

The challenge became all the greater, as they learned more about Spike himself. He enjoyed talking to no end, and he particularly enjoyed brown-nosing other ponies. Indeed, this was how he had received the patronage of Lady Catherine. His other qualities were less than commendable; he was he was childish, lacking in focus, easily excited, and he made miserable attempts to flirt with the Bennet daughters.

Mr. Bennet disliked him almost immediately. Meeting Spike only confirmed the notion that he did not deserve to inherit the Bennet property. Mrs. Bennet's feelings were the exact opposite of those of her husband. She was elated to have a suitor who wished to marry one of her daughters! A marriage would not only make one of her daughters happy, but it would ensure that the Bennet property stayed with the Bennet family! There was no way that this courtship could end poorly!

Emboldened by Mrs. Bennet's promptings, Spike asked to speak to one of the daughters privately, before dinner. Much to Rarity's dismay, he chose her.

"Rarity, was it?" Spike asked. "You are quite beautiful."

"Thank you, Cousin," Rarity said. She nervously eyed the exit.

"So...have you ever kissed a dragon?" Spike asked. His eyebrows wiggled expectantly.

Rarity ran out of the room as quickly as possible.

"She's feisty," Spike said to himself. "I like her already."