#7

by Muncheru

Waking Up

First there was nothing, In fact this unit wasn't even aware of it's self there were no feelings, no sounds, and no optical input. But then there came a noise, the whirling of many gears and the humming of fans and electronics coming to life. Then this unit became aware of itself.

Loading...

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Data loaded,sending data packets...

Data packets received...

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Unloading data packets...

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Run C:/Programs/Ponies/Characters/C-Set/Unit-7

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Process complete

Loading initial interface

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Motor system online

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Matter energy converter online

Optical inputs online

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Nervous system online

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Boot up complete

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Welcome to the world #7

This unit began to see things, at first there was a blur of colors, but after a moment the blur focused into a clear picture of the room in front of this unit. At first this unit was unsure of it's environment objects lay scattered around it including 2 strange purple things the seemed to be facing it. One was as large as this unit and the other was smaller and had patches of green sprouting from it. This unit was unsure of what to do so it refrained from moving, and did nothing.

"I don't know Twi, I think this one might end up being a bust as well" The small purple thing seemed to be making noise that this unit could understand. The bigger purple one moved away from this unit while letting out a breath of air.

"I can't believe it, how many does this make now Spike?" The bigger purple one spoke. The noise it made was a bit different in pitch compared to the smaller purple object but it was still well withing this unit's capabilities of understanding.

"Who knows, I lost count after the 5th one" The smaller one noised out again. This unit started to understand the noise as a form of communication that the two objects seemed to be using. This unit also started to understand the words further as the communication between the two went on longer.

"No, I won't give up on this one yet Spike!" the bigger purple one said. "It has to work, after all it's a combination of works from some of the most brilliant unicorn minds in history!" The smaller purple object which was now identified as 'Spike' spoke again.

"Oh c'mon Twi this has to be the like the 20th one you've tried to build, isn't it enough already?"

'Twi' the newly designated purple thing shook the top part of it's body before responding.

"But this one's from the C-Group, and of the three groups this one showed the most promise, maybe it just needs a little more time!" Twi moved away from this unit.

Spike did a series of motions and let out a noise that indicated fatigue "What ever you say Twilight, It can have all the time it needs, but I've got some sleep to catch up on, If you need me I'll be upstairs". Spike then moved up an inclime with a series of platforms before disappearing from this unit's field of view. Twi, or Twilight as previously called, moved away from this unit and onto a large plush object at the side of the room.

"I just know you'll work, you have to" Twilight then became quiet and soon only the faint sound of breathing and humming electronics could be heard by this unit. This unit became curious as to how 'Spike' and 'Twilight' were able to move themselves. It thought about it, and thought about it until it realized that it's field of view had shifted downwards, and then upwards, then left, then right. This unit was moving a part of it's self and in doing so caused what it saw to be different with each movement. It's sights stopped on an object laying on a platform at the side of the room. Looking down it saw that it's body was larger than first perceived and it seemed to have a similar structure to that of Twilight. Looking back at the object on the table it willed it's self into moving and quickly found it's self much closer to the ground than earlier. Looking around it realized it had willed both of it's front appendages to move forward at the the same time causing to it fall over. Carfully this unit watched it's self as it tried to get up on it's appendages again.

After much struggling this unit was able to make it's way to the object on the table. Looking down at the object it could make out letters that it was able to put into words. The object was labeled 'Hoofsters Modern Dictionary and Thesaurus'. This unit continuted to examine the object and wondered as to what the words meant. A loud noise could be heard behind the unit and it turned to see what it was. Twilight had moved and was now sitting straight up, looking at this unit.

"Y.you just moved!" Twilight said stuttering at first. Twilight got up and moved towards this unit and realized what it was doing. "Do you want to read this book?" she asked.

This unit looked at Twilight while processing the words before attempting to respond. When it tried to speak all that could be heard was a deep tone interrupted by static and then another tone.

"um, I'll take that as a yes" Twilight said before moving towards the object on the table and drawing this unit's attention to it. "Okay let's start with the A's and when you're done reading each page let me know and i'll turn the page for you, ok?"

This unit looked at Twilight for a bit before attempting to speak again. A gurgled shrill screech was all the noise that came out.Twilight seemed to not like that noise, but opened the book any ways "Ok, I guess that means you understand?" This unit spent the rest of the night reading the dictionary, even taking over for twilight by turning the pages it's self when it was done. This unit has learned something new, when talking about it's self it should be labeled as 'I'.

Author's Note:

Well, for all of you who managed to fight there way through bad robot grammar, congrats you managed to get passed the first obstacle this story has to offer. Don't worry next chapter will be better in terms of grammar, how often some words are used compared to other (ie; it, this unit, it's self), and descriptions will be less vague. Sorry if I wasn't very effective at getting the point of view across as # 7's. Also, thanks for reading I hope this story is liked better than my previous one. Have any suggestions? let me know in a comment below and help me better myself as an author. Thanks once again for giving my story a chance I'm glad you read it!

Comments

[Sorren]

To start things off, you have a terrible, terrible habit of creating sentence splices. I'd suggest you go and look up what makes a complete sentence, because it is a very hard thing to simply explain in a story comment.

Before any direct means of addressing a character, you need need a comma before their name. You do have the rule of parentheses down, so I can give you that.

Generally, this story is just error-riddled. It needs a lot of work, but I won't vote it up nor down.

[Muncheru]

2017752

He he, yeah I'm sorry I guess I wasn't clear enough in my Author's Note. Most of the horrible grammar for this chapter is on purpose as it's being told from the main characters perspective. Seeing as he's new to the world, I figured grammar wouldn't be one of his best abilities at this point.

[Irongalley]

It is itself its leg it's is for it is and all that good stuff...

I will like and fav this story, and then I will dislike it and unfav it just so I can like it and fav it again. Pony on good sir/madam.

[Irongalley]

2017764

Word of advice, do not do that. It is clever in one's mind, but people do not take kindly to it. Never go with wrong grammar in the narrative, only in the dialogue is it allowed. Pony on good sir/madam.

[Muncheru]

2017775

Yes, I only planned to do it for this chapter. The next chapter he will have a good grasp on grammar and mistakes (if any) will be few and far between.

[Jade Mer]

Wow... I haven't read a peace of Fanfiction for so long that I didn't even notice the grammar "Mistakes". Not that I usually did when not looking closely.

Anyhow, this was pretty good, interesting too. I can't wait for more.

[Muncheru]

2017859

Thanks I'm glad you liked it

[Jade Mer]

2017864

Yeah, sure, no problem!

Good to see other people being able to write when I can't. Makes me just a bit closer to being able to write again... (Psychologically, anyways. I'm perfectly capable of typing!)

[Muncheru]

2017875

I'm glad to hear it, let me know if you get back into writing and I'll gladly read your work

[Gherkin]

Judging by the cover art, I'm going to assume that the main character is a geth, or some sort of pony version. If so, you need the crossover tag, as it will count as a Mass Effect crossover.

[Jade Mer]

2017913

Will do. Actually, you may be hearing from me pretty soon.

[SpacelordVen]

This unit looked at Twilight for a bit before attempting to speak again. A gurgled shrill screech was all the noise that came out.Twilight seemed to not like that noise, but opened the book any ways "Ok, I guess that means you understand?" This unit spent the rest of the night reading the dictionary, even taking over for twilight bu turning the pages it's self when it was done. This unit has learned something new, when talking about it's self it should be labeled as 'I'

Just re-read this, and noticed an error :\ still a great work! and perhaps, (just a suggestion) get into the mood of the characters, as a wise being once told me, its okay to get emotional over (insert-artistic-relation-here).

[Muncheru]

2028016

Ah thanks for pointing that out, and thanks for the compliment