vinyl and octavia have almost nothing in common aside from the fact their both juniors in highschool and are both atending celistia's school for musically gifted ponies. All of that changes one warm summer night under the dark sky of canterlot
Cover art is Vinyl And Tavi by wreky from deviantart
First fanfic so any advice, criticism anything would be great my first attempt at writing something outside of school so its probably terrible
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Considering this is your first fic, the story itself is set at a pretty good pace. If I were a Grammar Nazi, though, I would have ground my teeth into powder in irritation with all of the run-ons and the absence of commas to separate the subordinate clauses from the independent clauses. However, I am honestly enjoying the story so far, and I am looking forward to reading more of your works. :)
Only two things jumped out at me.
8 numbers?
Those quotes that also go around vinyl thought, also the lower case vinyl.
Other than that, good job my good author. Continue onward in your endeavors to write fanfiction.
You've caught my interest and i look forward to more
2333170 Yeah I'm really terrible at punctuation, never really got the hang of it.
2334052 So the 8 numbers thing was supposed to be Lyra giving Vinyl her phone number.
2334651 I hope not to disappoint
2334908
I don't know of any numbers being 8 digits.
2334929 oh my god i would have never caught that thanks for pointing that out good i must have not been thinking.
Could you do me a favor and get an editor. If you look it says I've read it, but I only read a small portion. I'll read later, and probobably* fav as well, just please, please, get an editor.
2335127 I'll try and edit it the best i can I'm looking for anyone to edit but it might take a while.
2335138 Well, thanks for trying, but I'm pretty sure there's a group for editors.
2334908 I'm sure you won't
Even though it was a bit hard to read, I still liked it a lot. I look forward to more.
2338382 Yeah sorry about that i found a proofreading group so all the future chapters should be a lot easier to read.
The story so far is really good... Keep with it and im sure to return for more...
Blog post can be found here
Hey! I'm finally getting around to reading this. Auto-fav!
loved it i cant wait for the rest of the story
Is this story inspired by University Days? Because the title sure as sugar implies that.
I'll add it to my "read later" bookshelf and ill be watching it closely, since the comments say you need an editor.
Mo offence, but I'll wait until you get one. I like to read fics at their best.
2334929 Numbers in my country have 9, so I guess it depends on where are you from.
5632102 Its not really inspired by one story or another I saw the Octavia and Vinyl Trope and decided to throw my own story into the mix.
loved it cant wait for more
Any chance this story will be continued?
9600835
Yeah dude I got you expect it to be done by the end of January
10013374
Yay cant wait ill have to give it a full re read