What Does the Moon Reflect?

“I’m sorry.”

And she was. She was sorry. When she had control of herself she was sorry. But it never lasted long. Nothing lasted long on the cold, dreary moon. She would come back. And when she did, she would be angry. Angry at her, for letting herself be taken over so easily. Angry at herself, for letting herself lose. Angry at her sister, the celestial tyrant, for banishing her to her own moon.

The celestial tyrant?

She was whole again. The one and the same once more. But was this better? Yes. Yes, she knew it was. But she was torn once again. Everyday. Everyday she was torn between the pony she knew she was, and the pony she knew that she was supposed to be. Which was which anymore? Which one was she supposed to be? She wasn’t evil. She wanted recognition. She just wanted a single pony to come forward and say that she was appreciated. Even if it was a stranger. Even if it was a guard. Even if it was her sister. She was forced to do what they did.

Didn’t they?

She thought they did. And yet as there was a side that said no. No they hadn’t.She herself had grown to the monster that had gotten them banished to the moon.

She had gotten herself banished to the moon? It was my own incompetence. I messed up. Where did I mess up though? At the end? At the beginning? In the middle? A part of her said that she messed up at the end, allowing her feelings for her sister to stop her from what had to be done. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t do that to her sister. Even if she hated her sister to her very soul, she couldn’t, wouldn’t kill her.

But still the other part said the beginning. She messed up at the beginning of herself. It was destined to happen, as soon as she began. She had grown stronger on anger, on jealousy, but the anger itself wasn’t justified.

Justified!? Nothing about the matter was justified. Nopony had ever helped her!
Nopony had ever done anything for her! Nothing! Ever! The only ponies that were ever around were her guards, and they were only there because it was there job! They probably had wanted be in their beds asleep the entire time they were on duty!

And of course she had to do some things that she didn’t want to do either. She didn’t want to end up on the moon. She didn’t want to end up like this. Alone. Sad. And angry.

Angry?

She had every right to be angry! Celestia dared to banish her! She would return! She would come back! And when she did, she wouldn’t fail. She couldn’t fail a second time. She would make the ponies pay for what they did to her! They made her this! They made her! It wasn’t her fault! It wasn’t...

It wasn’t her fault.

She started to cry. It was too much. She couldn’t take it. Everything had been... It hadn’t been perfect, but it had been great. She had a nice place to live, a whole sky of a canvas for her to make beautiful.

Now she didn’t even have that right. All she had was her moon. And she wasn’t even sure if it was her moon anymore. She hadn’t cried in a long time. She watched the tears fall slowly, reflecting the light of the earth. For as the moon reflects light to the earth, the earth reflects light to the moon. The tears slowly dimpled the dusty surface of the moon, already marred by the hoof steps of her long ago pacing.

She watched them splatter, throwing out rays of reflected light.

Reflected light...

What does the moon reflect? The sun? Something unseeable? Or maybe... herself?

Did it reflect herself. When she was still the lunar princess, she had one constant companion. The moon. The moon was there, looked upon, and discarded as an idle thought. Just like her.

No! Not just like her. She could do something about it. She had tried to something about it. Better to have tried, and to have failed. But the moon had stayed. Even as her sister had banished them, she recognized the importance of the moon. Of the night.

No. The importance of her moon, and her night.

It was a shame that it had taken her open rebellion to get her to recognize it. She had forcibly taking her control of the moon, and had banished her to it. If she had only acknowledged her importance earlier, this could have been avoided. None of this would have happened! None of it!

But... Would it have?

Would it have. Even if Celestia had recognized the importance of the moon and night, would it had been enough? Would she had just left it at that? Would that single acknowledgement have satisfied her? Would the other side have remained hidden? Buried beneath the knowledge that she was appreciated. Even if it was by one pony. Even it is was by her sister.

Her sister?

Was Celestia still her sister? It would have been safe to assume that she had been effectively cut off of the family tree. If she came back peacefully, would she be welcomed back? Or would she be shunned as the monster she had become?

And she was a monster. She was something to be feared, as fear is the only thing that the night is capable of making ponies feel. The only thing that would make pones respect her. The only thing that would make the others appreciate the night that she had worked on for a millennia to perfect!

But was that was she wanted?

When had it turned to fear?

When had it gone wrong.

Maybe...

Just maybe...

Celestia was right.

Maybe she deserved to be banished to the moon.

Maybe...

She was a monster.

Luna slid to the ground and wept.

And nightmare moon look on a wept with her.

Author's Note: