The Adventures Of Rift & Navi

When banished from his tribe in the mysterious and secluded Grey-Mane mountains Rift and his new found adventure partner Navi set fourth on a quest for fame and fortune.

Chapters (6)

Chapter 1 (Encounter) · 28th Jan 2012 · 1,184 words
1,184
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Chapter 2 (New Beginnings · 22nd Jan 2012 · 1,142 words
1,142
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Chapter 3 (The Adventure Begins) · 24th Jan 2012 · 856 words
856
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Chapter 4 (The Bryers Stone) · 25th Jan 2012 · 1,028 words
1,028
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Chapter 5 (Brush With Insanity) · 29th Jan 2012 · 861 words
861
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Chapter 6 (Insanity Discovered) · 9th Feb 2012 · 1,000 words
1,000
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Comments ( 8 )

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Noakwolf

Noakwolf #1 · Jan 20th, 2012 · · · Chapter 1 (Encounter) ·

Looks interesting, I like stories without the mane cast in them for some reason idk. I have to sit down and read this later when I get da time y'know. But I can assume it will be a fun read.

Shizuka Ryuko

Shizuka Ryuko #2 · Jan 20th, 2012 · · · Chapter 1 (Encounter) ·

Very interesting, I think I'm gonna track it. I am a story critique but don't be alarmed. I'm not mean, I just want to polish things so the writer can make a better story. So far so good. I Am sorta busy ATM so I skimmed over it. Here's some advise that I give to writers. Read over your story the more you write. Make sure the story you have written so far makes sense with the beggining. Don't leave readers thinking" but I thought " the only thing a reader needs to question is" what's next?? " anyway hope the story goes well :)

Amethyst Glow

Amethyst Glow #3 · Jan 21st, 2012 · · · Chapter 1 (Encounter) ·

I have one suggestion and one question. First the suggestion. Don't call a male pony a mare (female), He would be a clot or a stallion. The question is, I was wondering if this suppose to be a play. That's the only time I've ever seen the character's name before their lines. You might want to look online for how to write dialog. I like the story so far but a little confusing the way it's written and had to reread parts. :)

Riften

Riften #4 · Jan 21st, 2012 · · · Chapter 1 (Encounter) ·

146957 Honestly im not sure where i was heading with this. I had a vauge idea of what i was going for but i didnt turn out as great as i had hoped. Not bad for never writing before though. i think I can say now that the next part has improved. I think