Butterscotch and Elusive should tell eachother about their experiences at the spa.

First of, you're awesome for writing this, I love the rule 63 angle. Second, there are some issues with this, nothing big, but a few sentences seem to shift between a third-person and one-person perspective, which got slightly irritating. I don't know how to pull parts out of the story so I can't point out any examples, but I'm pretty sure that if you read it through again you'll see what I mean. The same can be said about a few commas, again nothing big, but there were a few times when I felt they were unnecessary, especially if the sentence itself isn't very long.

The story and setup in your pairings so far has been good I think, and I'd really like to see you expand upon this, maybe build things up until you reach the point when they all get together and buck the daylights out of each other.

Lookin' forward to seeing more, keep up the good work.

Fun..steamy chapter, I wonder how Elusive will do with Dusk instead of Berry. Hmm

I kinda think that these encounters should all have happened for the next pairings, it would let it build up to a big orgy in the library.

BlitzXBerry or ButterscotchXElusive next please!

It was alright. Berry got a little "rape-y" or at least forceful there at the end there, with the whole "your saying no, but your body is saying yes" shtick.

x pwease

Please do Dusk Shine x Prince Solaris next please! By the way, can you do threesomes?

You switch between past and present tenses here, sometimes inside a single sentence. Also, the end seems somewhat rushed, two or three more paragraphs would make it better, I think. Still, another decent chapter.

Here is my suggestion for another chapter: Dusk liked being on bottom so much that now he just craves for another good buck. Then he meets Rainbow who is in need to buck someone, and they realize that they can help each other.

I'd love to see a Rainbow Blitz and Applejack chapter.

2391126 THIS!

One does not simply remain a heterosexual male after reading MLP Yaoi fiction

I'm managing... Barely.

Update?

I don't know tif it was already requested, but I would love to see a Blitz-Berry threesome with a virgin Applejack

2523969

I am busy with a bunch of crap, but school just ended so I can work on the next thingygygygygygy

Butterscotch and Applejack

2638743 No it not it's dabatiable not said in stone

Thank you for making this...

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So I'm assuming this story is dead

I say to make dusk a virgin everytime so someone else can teach you

I say Artemis x dusk shine

And here I thought I was the only male brony that felt like that. Whew! I thouth it was really weird to others but its normal.

3556208 No, I am sorry, I have been super busy.

Ship it like Fedix! SHIP IT!

please do Solaris x Artemis

Please please please PLEASE do a bubble berry and big Macintosh