Not bad, though I must admit I liked the first chapter more. Dunno why, I just did, but this was still good. Although you might want to doublecheck certain parts right at the beginning, in one sentence Macareina is reffered to as AJ's older sister, and a few lines down suddenly it seems AJ is the older one of the siblings. I don't know how to insert sentences from the story into comments, but I think you'll be able to spot it.
Anyway, good read, looking forward to the next chapter.
Ooo, you used Skipsy's image. That's a favorite of mine. Nice story, very sexy. The sentences are a bit weird at times... but nobody really cares that much when it comes to clop.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, I'm done with the next one, Yay!
Not bad, though I must admit I liked the first chapter more. Dunno why, I just did, but this was still good. Although you might want to doublecheck certain parts right at the beginning, in one sentence Macareina is reffered to as AJ's older sister, and a few lines down suddenly it seems AJ is the older one of the siblings. I don't know how to insert sentences from the story into comments, but I think you'll be able to spot it.
Anyway, good read, looking forward to the next chapter.
1998373 BAM! Fixed.
Great improvement since the last chapter( not that the last one was bad) I definitely enjoyd this one a lot more though. Nice work!
does that mean bubble berry and dusk shine are next?
2002506 Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe
yay
Ooo, you used Skipsy's image. That's a favorite of mine.
Nice story, very sexy. The sentences are a bit weird at times... but nobody really cares that much when it comes to clop.
So, next up we're gonna be seeing a hyperactive crazypony getting it on with a nerd. This cannot go wrong.
Hmm, very nicely done :) Looking forward for more..
This story is so weird for me?...
... But I love is