“Who is it, Twi?” Jak hears someone, er, somepony ask.
Twilight looks back at Jak and motions for him to join her in the doorway. Upon entering the house, Jak notices that he is, in fact, standing in a library. Shelves of books are pushed against the walls. The only thing that Jak can think of is how Samos would love this place. “This is Jak and his friend, Daxter. They are beings from another dimension.” Twilight finishes the last with the air of someone giving a school report.
Jak looks to the middle of the floor to see five ponies and a lizard sitting in a circle. All are staring at Twilight with wide eyes, as if she's gone mad. Then, all at once, they start laughing. Jak looks at Twilight with a slight grin. “Well, you didn't expect them to believe you, right?”
“Um, well, maybe a little.” She blushes.
Daxter hops off Jak's back and strolls over to the bag of marshmallows sitting in the middle of the circle of ponies, throws one into the air, and catches it in his mouth. “Mmmm, hey, Jak, these are good. I can't remember the last time I had a marshmallow.”
The five ponies and the lizard all snap the eyes to Daxter. “D-did that creature just talk?” the yellow pony with the pink mane and tail asked.
“What?” Daxter responds through a mouthful of marshmallow. “You ain't never seen an Ottsel before?”
“N-no.”
The other ponies all move there gazes to the yellow pegasus, as is surprised that she did not know what type of creature he was.
“Jak speaks up. “What Twilight said is true. Dax and I are not from this dimension. When we got thrown out of the portal I assumed the shape of the dominant species. That is, a pony.”
The cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane flies up to Jak and pokes him on the chest with a hoof. “You don't seem like an alien to me.”
Jak rolls his eyes. “Fine lets just pretend I'm another pony, who doesn't know anything about the world he is in. How's that.”
Twilight breaks in, “Oookaaay, Jak why don't you have a seat and we'll get introduction out of the way.”
“Fine by me.” He walks over to and empty spot of floor in the circle and sits down between a white unicorn with a purple mane and an orange earth pony with a blonde mane who is also wearing a stetson hat.
“So,” Twilight says as she looks around at her friends, “Jak is here to learn about our culture, and we are meant to teach him. So, I think we should all introduce ourselves and the Elements we represent. I'll go first. My name is Twilight Sparkle and I am the Element of Magic.”
The cyan pegasus, who had landed next to Twilight spoke up, “I'm Rainbow Dash, fastest flier in all of Equestria.” She finishes with a smug look. At a look from Twilight she continues, “Oh, and I'm the Element of Loyalty.”
The orange earth pony next to Jak is the next to speak up, “Ah'm Applejack, an' Ah'm the Element o' Honesty.”
The ponies look at him next. “Um, I'm Jak, and, uh, I guess the most interesting thing about me is that I saved my world, uh, five times.”
The ponies all look at him with surprise written plainly upon their faces.
“Did ya say five times, sugar cube?” Applejack asks.
“Well, actually it was me,” Daxter interjects. “He's just my sideki-.” He interupted by Jak hitting him on the back of the head with a hoof. “Ow, you know that hurts a lot more when you have hooves.”
Jak has enough grace to look ashamed. “Sorry.”
Next, the white unicorn speaks up. “It's a pleasure to meet you, darling. I am Rarity, and I am the Element of Generosity.”
Hardly a second after she finishes, the pink earth pony, who has been quiet up until this point burst out at the speed of sound, “I'm Pinkie Pie and I'm the Element of Laughter. We gotta throw you a party. When will-mmmph.” Applejack reaches over and shoves a hoof in Pinkie's mouth, and looks at the last pony, the yellow pegasus with the pink mane. She hides behind her mane and Jak has to lean in close to hear her.
“I'm Fluttershy, and I'm the Element of Kindness.”
The lizard speaks up next. “I'm Spike and I'm a dragon.”
Jak looks around to all of the ponies and the dragon. “Well it is very nice to meet all of you.” He stands up. “I'm going to go for a walk. Get a feel for the town. I'll be back shortly.” He walks out of the door without giving them a chance to respond. Daxter jumps up and runs to Jak to climb on his back.
Jak walks for fifteen minutes before Daxter speaks up. “Hey, remember how to roll?”
Jak rolls his eyes. “Daxter, we are not doing that this time. I mean you do this at the beginning of every adventure.”
“Well, that's true, but still. Any idea what we're doing here?”
“Not in the slightest. But, as I see it, why not enjoy ourselves while here.”
“I second that. Besides, that Twilight chick is pretty hot.”
“She's a pony, Dax.”
“And so are you. What's the problem? I actually prefer that Rarity. Wow, isn't she the looker.”
Jak just laughs. “Good luck with that.”
“Oh, no one can resist the Daxternator when he turns his charm on.”
“And how has that worked out for you in the past.”
Daxter looks thoughtful for a second, “Tess didn't seem to mind.”
Jak laughs again. “C'mon, lover boy, we should start heading back. We need a place to sleep.” He starts to head back to Twilight's house.
“Hey, seriously, though. You think I got a chance.”
“Sure, Dax. Sure.”
a wild chapter appears!
i use read
its super effective!
Lol man>>1878243
The daxternator is BEAST.
1878246 1.bp.blogspot.com/-EiMb6kSoEIw/UCEYrenc6iI/AAAAAAAAAKI/FpQxDmXzrQg/s500/fist-pump-baby.jpg
1878276 of course he is
Yet another great chapter- that part about re-re-re-re-re-re-learning how to roll was awesome I honestly didn't expect it and I got a real kick out of it! Do you mind if I look for some parts that I can help you edit with?
DJ-Pon-3 approved
1878373 go ahead. I was hoping someone would laugh at that
Alright!
(“Mmmm, hey, Jak, these are good. I can't remember the last time I had a marshmallow.”) Just a recomendation. If it's been a while since he's had a marshmallow, I think he would a little more exctied so maybe you could change the periods into exclamation marks.
(“Jak speaks up.) Remove the quotation marks.
(“Fine lets just pretend I'm another pony, who doesn't know anything about the world he is in. How's that.”) Put a comma after "Fine", remove the comma after "pony", and replace the period after "that" with a question mark.
(“I'm Rainbow Dash, fastest flier in all of Equestria.”) Insert a "the" before "fastest" so it doesn't sound like a fragment.
(“He's just my sideki-.”) Remove the period since the sentence was cut short, therefore never finished in which case it does not need a period.
(“I'm Pinkie Pie and I'm the Element of Laughter. We gotta throw you a party.) Again, another recomendation. Pinkie Pie is known for being energetic and just saying the word "party" would result in her yelling, so my recomendation is to replace the periods with an exclamation mark.
(“Not in the slightest. But, as I see it, why not enjoy ourselves while here.”) Never start a sentence with and or but, replace the period with a comma and lower case the "But". Then it becomes a true conjunction. Also, I can't tell if the "last sentence" is a question or a statement.
(Wow, isn't she the looker.”) Replace the period with a question mark or change the sentece to where it is stating "She's a looker".
(“And how has that worked out for you in the past.”) Replace the period with a question mark.
That's all I found, but I might re-re-read it to double-check. The suggestions are just what I would change; you don't have to change them if you feel like they are fine the way they are. If you need any help with some grammar or English wording, I'll help if you'd like It was nice to read this chapter again... "Do you remember how to roll?"
DJ-Pon-3 approved
1878705 i lovethe games
When are we gonna see his Dark Pony Jak?
1878958 few chapters. Give it time this is just the build up
(Peter Griffon) Attention readers: Jack is freeballin and Daxter is being retarded with his ego again.....Fluttershy is adorable.
I can't wait to see the ponies reactions to Light and Dark Jak.
I'm hoping there will be some kind of Eco involvement.
1879933 i honestly have not figured out how i will incorporate eco yet
1874389 boom i got a yeah!! I'm such a good guesser
1880424 make it leak out of a rift gate or something
1882053 that wont work because they are going to have to find the new rift gate to get home, and it wouldn't be much of an adventure if they just followed the magic eco trail
What am I getting myself into. I love the Jack and Daxter games, I played all but Jak X racing, and I will most likely follow this story. But where is my head, second crossover that I am going to follow ever since reading fanfiction. But I like it so far. Quick question though, what was the 5th time that Jak saved his world. Even questioning if there was 4th time since Jak didn't really save his world at the end of the second game. But remember anything from this comment, it should be that this is a great story.
1884331 i was considering all the games. Precursors legacy, jak 2, jak 3, jak x, and lost frontier. And thank you fpr the praise
Shouldn't daxter say he's a precursor? Due to the ending of jak 3
1887320 he is going to address that at a later date
1887335 I love that little noggin of yours good ideas mate, good ideas.
1887350 So I've been told. I've also been told that I have no sense of humility
1887368 Is that a good thing? Well for me it is
1887391 Some say it is
1887405 Well I am the some of people... what the hell did I just say
1887416 something about be some of the people. I think
1887422 I'm I stalling the next chapter?
1887439 Well, I'm working on it now, but i usually surf the internet while writing anyway, making a chapter that should take an hour to write take about two. don't worry, if your comments were inconveniencing me, i'd just ignore them until i post the next one
1887460 That's what I really like about you you're keeping a steady pace creating chapters while (pause for dramatic effect) MULTI-TASKING
1887493 Not multi-tasking. PROCRASTINATING!!!!
1887504 My mind has been blown. It's brilliant I say!
1887520 lol
In honor of new chapter (when it comes out)
Tess wouldn't be happy if she saw Daxter with another woman~
Also, I, too, am pretty eager to see if Jak still has the powers of light and dark eco in Equestria. T'would be an amazing sight!
that is without a doubt, the best line I have ever read for spike, especially in the context
2012253 glad you liked it
BUT WE DON'T KNOW IF HE STILL REMEMBERS HOW TO ROLL.
3197780 of course he does, he has done it the past three adventures
1878588 people like you are the behind the scenes heroes
1887320 I'm more concerned about the whole dark eco powers thing that Jak has goin for him.
Good chapter 😊