My Brothers Journal

by William w2

Chapter 2: Recollecting Lost Time

I felt a strong thump as my back slammed against the ground. Well, really I couldn't tell which way was up or down. I started to feel very light as I finally felt some sense in my body. I slowly opened my eyes to see a sea of white rushing at me. I instinctively went into the fetal position. I knew I would die when I hit it.

When I hit, I didn't die, it thumped into me and I passed through it. I looked again and saw....THE GROUND?!?!!!

It was rushing at me, and I was panicking in turn. It was still several hundred feet away, but it was coming fast.

I know it was stupid, but I was looking for something, anything to grab to at least slow down my descent. I saw a small speck in the distance. I think it was the sun. I was somehow starting to calm down. It was almost....peaceful. I kept my eye on the little speck thing. My eyes were beginning to water up, so I couldn't see as clear. It was also getting harder to breathe. It was too much to panic. So much easier to...close....

* * *

The purple unicorn mare was on the ground, looking up at the falling object. She had to do a sleep spell to make everything easier. She was hoping on Rainbow Dash would hurry a little faster. It was only one shot to get this right.

"Is that him?" A voice said behind Twilight.

"Yes. He seems to be struggling more than you were." She said to the boy behind her.

"Hah! Yea, well he's always had a strong will about him against higher power."

"Oh, well here comes Rainbow!" She said, indicating the rainbow trail behind the sky blue pegasus.

The rainbow was dashing at full speed toward the falling boy. She was trying to fly under him so she could carry him down.

She suddenly flew over him and grabbed him by his collar with her mouth. She then rapidly descended and put him on the ground in about two seconds.

The older boy then walked over to him and picked him up carefully. He was cradling him then hefted him into his arms. They proceeded to walk away.

"To your house then?" The boy carrying Cole said.

"To my house."

Author's Note:

I'll be randomly working on this story. Mostly in the winter holidays, so thanks for reading and try to read my other story in working on. Thanks. If u have any information or anything you want to say, good or bad, say it. Better to know than left unsaid.

Comments

[Da_Spy]

Those small chapters

[Whiteout]

You seem to be using chapters to replace scene breaks. This is both distracting, and poor form.

[Da_Spy]

1778850 Indeed

[William w2]

1778879>>1778850>>1778794 yea I know my chapters are small, but I'm going to write more stories as I get better and that can only come with advice. I was writing a story going on about three months work. Then it got deleted somehow. When it does get posted though it'll be bigger chapters. I'll remake it sometime soon. Thanks for all you've said and your time. It really does help me and I do aspire to become an author somday. Woohoo!

[William w2]

I actually wrote all this within three hours and working on another

[Regidar]

1778981 Woah there, slow down. Writing is art, not a school assignment.

[William w2]

>>Regidar I know regidar, my friend. I just try to use my time while I can. Im buisy most of the time and try to write as much as I can on stories in my free time. Today was a free day, so yay!

[TroWolf15]

Not a terrible start. Maybe try to add a little more details and depth to it? We like to feel what's goin on! Especially a first person fic! Adding in those extra details of emotions and senses can really help with the length of the chapters!

If you ever want a proof/pre-reader for this or anything else let me know! Always happy to help whoever I can!

[William w2]

1790175 lol no I actually haven't! It sounds...interesting though