• Member Since 3rd Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 9th, 2013

XxDarkSoundxX


T

Lyra's life was picture perfect in almost every aspect, the only strange thing was that she always had the same dream, but that would change soon too. and it all started when her marefriend Bon Bon gets sick and needs to be taken to Canterlot to go to a proper hospital. While in Canterlot Lyra decides to go see Princess Luna and talk about her dreams.

rated teen for more mature content in later chapters.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 8 )

Needs some work. You have a lot of issues with punctuation. Some run on sentences and always spell out numbers in writing; 4 becomes four.

Hire a good editor and they could have a fic this short fixed up in under an hour.

I'll thumb this up, because it has the potential to be something better.

Grammar problems. :unsuresweetie:

Lyra is best background pony. Do not mess this up.

good story,may i suggest getting a proof reader?
will wait for next chapter
1698969
indeed :moustache:

It's finally done...... I'll read it later.

thanks so much for all the positive feedback everyone. this is my first real attempt at writing and I have plenty of ideas for where i want it to go. I will look into finding an editor or maybe just going through myself and trying to fix all the grammar and punctuation issues. My hopes are that I can have chapter 2 ready for Saturday.

dam layout always changes so the " ---------" parts are too long D:
let me know if the grammar is still making you cry in agony shouting " WHY, WHY COULDN'T HE JUST THINK? "
its now 12:00am on a school night..... damned minecraft.

First of all: you damn hippocrite. never get minecraft for the Xbox my ass.Second: tab key. Third: do you here that..... That's the sound of a fourth wall being put in intensive care.

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