Heart of Steel: A Colts Tale

by Frosty Wisp

Chapter 2: Little knight in a new town.

The moment Rune stepped off the train and onto the wooden platform, the noon sunlight beamed into his eyes, causing the young colt to give a small yelp of distress. "Princess Celestia wasn't holding anything back today," thought Rune as he quickly moved into the shade of the station canopy. The colt let out a small sigh as he could finally take a peek around the station without the glare of the sun interfering. Rune would notice several ponies enter and exiting the train carriages while others walked along the platform. So far, everything seemed like it was the same as in Canterlot Station, except being smaller until he noticed something strange. To the far end of the station was a normal looking shrub except for the fact it had a pair of binoculars extruding out of its leaves, looking directly at him. He started to slowly move towards the strange plant but before he could go any closer...

“Rune I need your help getting all our bags loaded onto the cart.” called the familiar voice of his mother, who had already started to unload their bags into a nearby cart. He turned his head to face his mother, then back to the shrub only to find that it had mysteriously disappeared, leaving him confused. With another call from his mother, the little foal would dash over and start to help by attempting to carry the heaviest bag first, trying to forget about the mystery shrub. Rune's mother couldn't help but notice her son as she took over, taking the bag using her magic. "I think you better stick to the smaller bags dear.” she smiled with a giggle.

It didn't take them long to load up their belongings before they were off, Rune slowly trotting alongside his mother as she pulled the cart. He consistently looked around at all the different shops and houses; Ponyville was so different compared to Canterlot. The houses seem to be more spaced rather than squished together and most of the ponies gave a rather calm, friendly vibe. This made Rune want to get straight to having an awesome adventure but wasn't able to because his mother made him promise to stay close.

Rune and his mother trotted around the main streets until they reached the busy and crowded Ponyville Marketplace, filled with ponies doing their late noon shopping. Rune's mother had pulled out a map of the surrounding area using her magic, but had a puzzled looked and sighed, rolling up the small piece of a paper. ”Well it's official, we are lost, Rune...” she took a deep breath and slowly started to trot away until a voice broke the atmosphere.

“Howdy! Might I offer y'all a sample o'Sweet Apple Acres famous apples?” spoke a orange Earth Pony with a southern accent. She had a blonde mane and tail, a cutie mark of three red apples, and a cowboy hat that sat atop her head, fitting her accent. The mare stood in front a small cart, filled to the brim with apples.

“Oh, no thank you. While your apples do look great, we're having a little bit of a problem at the moment.” said Rune's mother as another sigh came out of her breath. While The little colt's mother would talk to the stall owner, Rune caught sight of something from the corner of his eye. It was the same odd shrub that was at the train station and it still had those binoculars sticking out of its side.

The adventurous little colt wanted to take a closer look but promised his mother not to do anything that would make trouble, including wandering off. Rune would take a quick look at his mother while she was distracted. It would only be for a minute...she'd never know he was gone as he started to slowly made his way towards the strange plant.

“Ah, so ah take it y'all'r new t'Ponyville an' gotten yerselves lost?” spoke the orange pony as she took a bite out of a apple from her cart.

“How? I mean... How could you possible know that?” stuttered Rune's mother as the orange pony simply pointed to the cart of luggage she was carrying hearing as a nervous chuckle at the mistake she had made, ”Oh... Right.”

“S'okay, if'n y'all want, Ah c'n help y'all with which way t'go.”Smiled the orange pony as she held out a hoof. ”Names Applejack, an' Ah work down on Sweet Apple Arces.”

“My name is Morning Star, and this is my son Rune...” she would point beside her, at thin air. Letting out a gasp as she saw he was gone, slowly sneaking away and almost out of her field of view, ”Steel Rune! What did I say about wandering off! Come back here this instant!” yelled Morning Star as Rune just froze in his tracks. If there was anything that scared the little knight, it was his mother when she got angry. He would look at the shrub for a split second before quickly running back to his mother side, his ears splayed backwards, ”This is my son. Rune, please introduce yourself to Ms. Applejack.”

Rune would look up at Applejack as his nerves got the best of him, slowly retreating behind his mother as he peered with a bit of a shy expression. ”Umm H-hello miss Applejack, a pleasure to meet you...” he would squeak.

“Well ain't he just th' cutest lil apple dumplin'.” Applejack chuckled at how shy the colt had gotten before she turned her attention back to his mother. ”Y'know, Ah have a lil sister around 'bout his age, named Applebloom. She was s'pose to help me with this here cart, but she went off with'her friends. mutterin' something 'bout... gettin' 'er cutiemark in hoofball er somethin'.” she sighed softly as another smile came over her, ”But ahm sure you two'll become the best uh friends.”

The words that Applejack spoke said made Rune feel a lot less nervous as he slowly came out from behind his mother, smiling happily at a thought that popped into his head, ”Are there any strange walking plants in this town? Because I've been seeing one follow us since the train station an-...” he asked as he looked down, kicking his hoof into the dirt.

Morning Star would interject before her son could say anything else, ”Oh sweetie, I told you. There are no such things. It's just part of your imagination...” She said, pulling out the small map once again, ”I'm sorry but my son can think of the craziest things and let them get the best of him. Also, I'm sorry we can't stay and chat more miss Applejack, but we really need to get going. So, could you point us in the right way?” she would ask as the orange Earth Pony looked at the map and gave them directions to their destination. It turns out they weren't very far from it after all.

Morning Star and Rune would wave goodbye to the Earth Pony as they continued on their way, heading in the correct direction. The rest of the journey was dull and boring as they finally arrived at a two story building with two big chimneys, one on the house itself and another coming from an unknown structure out back. Rune's eyes would widen at the sight of the house. It was a lot smaller than his home back in Canterlot but still looked quite cozy, ”Is this our new home?” he would speak with a hint of excitement in his voice as he started to dash towards the house. He wanted to explore this new home but was held back by his mother's magic.

Morning Star nodded and chuckled at her son's delight. ”Yes, this is our new home Rune, and soon, the Ponyville branch of the Royal Forge.” she smiled happily as she leaned down, ”and where you will continue your blacksmith training...” That last sentence seem to drain Rune's excited mood to a crawl as he looked back at his mother.

“But Mum, I don't want to be a blacksmith! I want to be a royal knight, the one that takes down evil dragons and save princess. I want to be like uncle-...” he was cut off by the abrupt sound of Morning Star's voice.

“Rune! How many times have I told you about mentioning your uncle!” she said with a hint of venom in her voice as it sliced through Rune like a hot knife through butter, leaving the small colt with his ears lowered and his body close to the ground, sniffling. Morning Star would see this and let out a small gasp, unhitching herself from her cart and laying down by her son's side, ”Oh sweetie, I'm sorry I snapped at you. It's just... the memory of your uncle left us all a bit... stingy about the subject.” she said, reaching a hoof to stroke his ear, ”Come on, let's go inside and get our things unpacked.”

Rune's sniffles soon soften and a smile bloomed on his face as he gave a nod. He had completely forgotten that mention of his uncle was a bad thing...in fact he knew little to nothing about him since he died before Rune was even born. He only knew he was a knight and that something horrible had happened, but he didn't let that bother him as he got up off the dirt road. He would slowly walk up to his house with his mother close by his side.

While the two ponies entered the house, just on the other side of the road was a familiar shrub with a pair of binoculars watching as the mother and son disappeared within.

“Perfect...everything is going as planned.”

To be continued.

Author's Note:

Anthors Notes: Hello once again, Thank you for reading my story and I hope it's atleast enjoyable. I would also like to apologize for the long wait for this update as I had a lot of things going on. I would also like to thank my proof reader and editor once again for helping me tidy up this chapter.It might be a little while untill the next chapter, it really depends if my time allows it. Enjoy!

Comments

[Frosty Wisp]

1782140
Was it a bit too much? because I wasn't sure how how to write decent Applejack accent.

[RealityCheck]

Is English your second language? I'm asking because you've written half the sentences in this chapter in future perfect tense. Fiction is normally written in past tense. It seems the sort of mistake someone would make who was learning the language.

Past tense: This happened.
Future perfect tense: This will or would happen.

Using future perfect tense doesn't work for storytelling, it breaks up the narrative flow making it impossible to tell whether something occurred or merely was supposed to occur.

You need to back through and everywhere there is an instance of the word "would", replace it with a past tense verb. "Would see"--> "Saw." "Would go."-->"Went."

[Frosty Wisp]

1850691

No, English is my first language but I understand what you mean, I'm actually planning to fix this chapter of all my little mistakes before I post the next one. Thank you for telling me of this mistake in my writing and I hope your enjoying the story so far.

[DetectivePingles]

Hey man. I can tell from the hiatus status and age of these comments that you might be losing hope. Don't. You have here the basis for an excellent story, and should you continue writing I'm sure you'll get the recognition you deserve. Or you could just be away and I could be talking out of my ass.

[Frosty Wisp]

2435502
Thanks for your comment and encouraging words, it means a lot to me.
I've been slowly working on the story but I've run into problems with Applejack punctuation, I'm lacking an offical editor and a bunch of smaller problems that are starting to make me lose a little hope as you guessed. So I hope soon I can continue with writing this as soon as I solved theses problems.
I also hope your enjoying the story so far too?

[DetectivePingles]

2435610 Very much so. I'd be glad to see it continued. Have you tried asking somebody in the Proofreader's group?

[Frosty Wisp]

2437773 Sorry for the super late reply but to answer your question, No I haven't but that's mainly because I'm not sure how to ask. I have no real experience with asking people to help me proof read and I tend to get nervious when ever asking anyone to help me.

[DetectivePingles]

2511794 If you want, I could look into it for you. Or, if a proofreader doesn't turn up, I've done a bit of editing before, so I could do the job if nobody better applies.

[DetectivePingles]

Due to how you said you get nervous when you ask for help, I went ahead and asked someone if they would like to edit this. He's a good guy, and from what I've seen of him he knows what he's doing spelling/grammar-wise. I hope this story gets an update soon, for it would be sad if this story were to fall to the unfinished depths.

[Frosty Wisp]

2525836 Thank you and I hope to hear from him soon, as for the next chapter, It's slowly coming along and I would be about 50% written, It's the longest chapter I've written so far.

[DetectivePingles]

2525980 Have you heard from Mister Good Guy yet? Also, nice hat.

[Frosty Wisp]

2558814 I haven't I'm sad to say and why thank you, your hat is nice too.