• Member Since 30th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 4th, 2017

Fiorella


Later

E

A crash lands Spitfire, captain of the Wonderbolts, in hospital and unable to perform for the next show. Rainbow Dash has been asked to take her place, a mission she accepts. But, not everything is as angelic as it seems when Rainbow is asked to keep her position a secret, and much less when she learns more about the Wonderbolts history...

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 12 )

Well, it's good.... sort of. You're description is riddled with errors, and that alone is enough to earn you like 6 insta down-votes. Generally, you write fairly, but you need a lot of work with grammar and word choice. Punctuation is a huge issue too; there are fragments and splices everywhere. If you had gotten a fair editor before you had submitted this, it would have turned out a lot better. I am giving you a thumb up to compensate for the dislikes you will get, because you will get dislikes.

Good but as Sorren said, it needs work.
Other than that- I like the story! have a moustache for your effort! :D :P
:moustache:

Great. Five mustaches for you.:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

You're right, your writing is an awful lot better now!
I wish I could have edited this one for you, but as I said my internet has been down for about a month now XD

Actually, I can still do this for you, if you want. I wont need to do as much with this as I did with the original ones.

holy sht what the buck happened to spitfire? was she sobbotaged somehow?

1708530
Thanks! It would be great if you edit it... I always loose all my marks from grammar...

You misspelled when. But great story! Is fleetfoot and soarin have a connection or relationship with each other? Just want to know.

2732713 I have yet to proof-read it. As for your question... It'll get complicated, and there will be shipping in this story. Quite a bit of it, too.

any spitfire shippings in here?

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