Just Ignore Him

by Brony Q

Trees,Needles, and Screams

Trees, Needles, and Screams

Floating gently could be considered a very relaxing experience, a sensation that was lost completely on him. Indifferent to all the wonders slowly passing by as he floated gently for what could have been eons, decades, or minutes, wondering when this "relaxing" trip would end. To anyone new to his world of wonders that drifted by underneath it would inspire art and nightmares for years to come. But seeing wonders and only wonders for who knows how long tend to ruin it for almost any individual and he was one such individual. Losing any sense of wonder long ago or maybe not too long ago he couldn't tell. Time was a lost construct to him and nopony knew the troubles he'd seen drift by underneath. When one is left with too much time it leads to thoughts that would have been better left un-thought and he had time and thoughts aplenty. In his infinite boredom and spare time a small light and a pine branch failed to even show up on his radar and consequently caused a huge surprise when he floated into it. With a large popping noise and a falling sensation he was gone from his world of floating, nightmares, and so many wonders.

Now on a regular day of relaxing in the park the "relaxing" should of gone off without any hitch. "Not today," the powers that be declared! Watching a pine tree loudly break at the top and the sounds of something rather large tumbling down from the top, but failing to see any cause to the noise is rather unnerving to say the least. Multicolored ponies of every color and sex go screaming out of the park in every which direction wondering what happened to their peaceful day at the park. The local hospital would see some of those very same fleeing ponies by the end of the night telling tales of something huge falling out of the tree and complaining that the benches and fences in the park were built to high off the ground, at least too high to jump over in a panic.

Gravity is a bitch! Plunged from a world of his own imagination and suddenly dropped down a tree is enough to get anyone out of their stupor just not the most comfortable way of doing it. Careening around like a pinball, screaming like a small filly having discovered what inhaled helium does when inhaled, he plunged down the tree grabbing at anything and everything in his path. He was fighting a losing battle against gravity. The saying goes "It's not the fall that kills you, it’s the sudden stop at the end."

And coming around the outside its branch A, but wait branch B's swinging fast for a tremendous hit to the shoulder. (Insert crowd screaming) Followed closely by the giant pine-cone with a blow to the nose. But wait be have an underdog coming up from behind, well maybe more ahead or maybe under, it’s a rock. The only problem was that with the pine-cone trying to lodge itself firmly up his nostril he failed to smell what the rock was cooking. The last thing he saw as the winning/offending rock, cooking included, dented his skull and he blacked out was a stampede of brightly colored ponies running away and in some cases flying away. "Odd," he thought before the rock but a stop to that.

Something pink stirred in the poorly lit kitchen, why it was dimly lit at one 'o' clock in the afternoon is a question that is up for debate. Dramatic effect maybe? Bouncing up to the nearest window Pinkie Pie knew for sure there was a new friend to be had somewhere in Ponyville and she was going to be the first one to greet them. Dropping everything she bounded out the door in search of this new "friend" to make sure the air quotes around the word "friend" could be dropped as soon as possible. Walking down the street she was astounded to see ponies running out of the park as fast as their hooves could carry them.
"A race in the park and nopony invited me," she yelled, running to the park hoping that a late start was better than no start at all.
Arrival at park proved her conclusion very wrong as there was no banners or starting line, the only site that greeted her was a very ruined pine tree. From the very top to the very bottom branch down one side of the tree was broken in some way or another. Her favorite giant pine-cone was missing and this fact alone provided enough incentive to leave the park knowing something very odd had happened here and that there was no race to be had. "Stallion, I had hoped for that new friend to be racing with the other ponies and I could catch up with them and make them into a new friend." Pinkie left in a funk wondering what in the world happened to the tree, her favorite pine-cone, and where this new friend could possibly be.

Night had fallen revealing the Pinkie had in fact not found a new friend and said new friend to be still lying on a bed of pine needles covered with blanket of needles that had lost to him in his race for the ground. Now waking up after a long dream was bad enough, waking up and promptly falling down a tree was even worse. Finally waking up and bringing this very thought to the front of his mind he slowly started to look around and count the bruises. "Hmm, this is not the way I wanted to escape." Finding himself in what could only be described as a park, it even had a bench. Moving again for the first time in what could have been ages he crawled over to the bench. He then started taking his situation into consideration. Crawling was not all together an enjoyable experiences what with all the bruises on top of not actually moving in who knows how long. He finally making it to one of the best benches he'd ever known. After having only your thoughts for company for untold stretches of time any sensation that was not pain or only in his head was amazing. Coming to a sitting position on this most comfortable of benches he started piecing together what had just happened.
"Dream realm escaped, Check"
"Tree, Check"
"Gravity, Check"
"Nap, check, even if I didn't really want one"
"Bruises, Check"
"Bench, Double Check"
"Now what and why am I saying this out loud for?" He mumbled to nopony in particular.

Now with his mental checklist in hoof he preceded to take into account his surroundings. It was early evening and after an intense stretching session he slowly trotted towards the exit of the park and towards civilization to find out where he was as well as when he was. Having lost track of time in his realm it occurred to him that it might not be the world he left behind, so trying to figure out where and when he was came first in his mind. The town he walked through was most definitely built for ponies, so any situation involving aliens or mutants was a no go. This fact was easily figured out due to the size of the buildings and the doors they contained. Though the most telling sight was the fact that there were still ponies coming home after a hard day of whatever it was they did during the day. The fact that nopony noticed the rather large stallion strolling down the street looking like he lost a battle with a, well tree, pine needles still sticking every which way from his mane and tail, it was odd to say the least.
"Still got it," he mused

Now he no longer had to wonder if his old tricks worked on these new ponies. While lost in his thoughts he managed to run right into yet another tree, in his defense the tree did not have right of way and it had failed to signal its intent. But what made this tree different was that this one had a door and windows, it even had a balcony for that matter.

Comments

[UseFistNotMouth]

Finding this an interesting start and wouldn't mind reading more.

The only issue right now, other than a very few typos, is that your writing has 2 main problems.
1: you write your action in a very stop/start way. What is happening tends to come to a ful descriptive halt while an aside, thought or extra detail is provides. These types of things need to more smoothly integrate with what's going on. I can't easily provide examples right now on my phone, but maybe when I get home.

2: you over elaborate on things, diluting the descriptive impact and ruining most of your jokes. Like the "Rock" joke. That was funny, but putting a throwback to it in the very next line when he hits it totally kills the humor.
Don't try to hold the reader's hand, just tell your story.

[Brony Q]

1604602 Hey at least it some feedback..yeah I had a idea that while my writing style makes sense to me I have a very bad habit of jumping around..even in person. Or rather i'm very easily to get going off on odd tangents and thoughs