letters from scootaloo

scootaloo has been sending rainbowdash letters that seem to not be read
(story is based around rainbowdash being in the wonderbolts and scootaloo sending her letters)

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 7 )

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mineturtle

mineturtle #1 · Oct 20th, 2012 · · ·

Who ever knows what this story is based on then you are boss

Weisted Machine

Weisted Machine #2 · Oct 20th, 2012 · · ·

Instant fave <3

The desert brony

The desert brony #3 · Oct 20th, 2012 · · ·

Not to beat you down but you have Scootaloo's letters sound like she's talking like Applejack/bloom.

I read about your idle Spitfire

That's the wrong word, Idol as in a person or persons one looks up to not idle as in an idle car

I just don't like being lied to

This could use a period.

I fly till it hurts and then I still fly

Another Period here please.

I don't really got shit else so that shit helps when I'm depressed

And another period.

I even got a tattoo of your name across my chest to prove it

Implying that a pony could even see a tattoo under all that fur.

they don't know what it was like for ponys like us growin

The plural of pony is Ponies, and the growin part makes her sound uneducated.

I still hangout with Applebloom and Sweetybelle

It's Sweetie Belle.

Friendsjip is the best kind of magic.

I'm sure this was just a slip of the fingers :P

Sorry for pointing out all these mistakes and i'm sure I missed quite a few more. Over all I want to know what was keeping Dash from reading much less sending a reply.

NotATree

NotATree #4 · Oct 20th, 2012 · · ·

eh it's not really "based" of anything. It feels like you just copied Stan into a word doc and added ponies, and to be honest you took scootaloo completely out of character in your writing.

Writing: For a ripoff of a rap song, but sometimes the rhyme isn't there, or it's just bad.

Formatting: It's okay, but there should be a little more space between the different letters.

Overall: meh 3/10 for just ponifying Stan with out of character scootaloo. It felt forced.

Rainbow87dash

Rainbow87dash #5 · Oct 20th, 2012 · · ·

My tea's gone cold I'm wandering why
But I don't mind at all
The morning rain clouds up my window
And I cant see at all
Even if I could it'd all be grey
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad
It's not so bad

mineturtle