Lets take a long Journey through the dimensional gate and meet ourselves. Sounds harmless enough. Its not like we are evil on the other side... Right?
The company of red are sent to Equinox. The dimensional equivalent of equestria. Except for the fact that equinox is filled with corruption.
Join Articus Blazier, Rising Knight, Black Roses and the rest of the Awesome Company of red as they try to escape the corruption.
A Quick note to everypony: This is a collab between the company and we are all having our own chapters.
The writing will still be in third person. It's just that different authors will get to write their own chapters depending if their ocs are in this particular chapter.
Chapters (3)
i50.tinypic.com/30w8js0.gif first
You have a great premise here. I actually enjoyed the chapter we have here but there is one major problem: Grammar. I saw a few points where you put periods when instead colons would have been more appropriate. the format of conversations is extremely off and an eyesore. However, I did not notice any spelling mistakes and, if you just get a prereader or something, this story could really work.
Unfortunately you are not getting the most positive review from me and for that I am sorry. Feel free to dislike my opinion on your story but this was just my thoughts.
Next time I see this story update, I will most likely give a positive review.
1557437 Constructive criticism is best criticism! I agree. I NEED a proof reader :3 Thanks for the heads up
1557450 That criticism was a lot better than Naught was initially going to put. Initially he was going to say the story had potential but right now, it was godawful. Fortunately he lets me edit to make sure he doesn't sound to rude. And yes constructive criticism is best criticism.
Get a prereader and you should be set. One thing I have to ask is that if Twilight knew Articus then why was she asking about him? It just sounded like she had known him for a long time yet it was obvious she hadn't.
YES! PROOF READER! GOT IT! SEARCHING NOW!
I sense that there will be more bad reviews due to me not having this proof read,
TO ALL THOSE WHO WISH TO SAY I DONT HAVE GOOD GRAMMAR!
IM SEARCHING FOR A PROOF READER NOW AS WE SPEAK! HOLD UR HORSES GUYS!~
Annnd after an exhaustive search... I found 2 Proof readerz :3 Now B4 the next few chapters go up. I go to them first
THANK YOU EVERYPONY FOR THE HEADS UP!
i should have a love in this story if queen blackhole gets mentioned in this story next chapter
and will leave a auto favorite and like
this story is gona be gooooooog cant weit for chepter 2
OHSHITOHSHITOHSHITOHSHITOHSHITOHSHITOHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT
TO MUCH AWESOMENESS HEAT
DISHARMONY LEVELS OVAR 9000!!!!!
[img]C:\Users\Public\Pictures\Sample Pictures\ponyWithBackground.png[/img]HOW THE FUCK DID I LOSE MY DISHARMONY SELFS CUTIE MARK ALSO
sorry bro to say this but we seriously need to release chapter 2, me and blackrose worked hard to make it. Just hoping to see the finished product since i was gone for a while,
Almost five months? What happened?
Edit: I cant count numbers right now. Was it five months?
2337542 Too long... I blame high school dude :/
Nao im back and ready to continue... Sorta
hope storms next
I can't wait for the next part because I love the equinox ponies they are the best thing ever plus you are a sick writer
2517020 Nawww. If anything i draw better than I write... Sorta. But even that aint to good either. I mean. U see this cover art? I drew it and it looks silly :P
Zalgressa: why have you meantioned me in your story jtpivot
"Either I'm too lightning bolt or that was a drunk." I are confuse
This story has intrigued me. Partly because I share the name, but also because I see great potential. I will track this, but I'm withholding from liking it yet.
Bout fucking time ma dude
8399088
Not going to lie dude. Kinda fell in love with his origin story in this. Cocky athlete who has hyperactivity to rival Pinkie Pie. I had fun making this. And looking forward to progressing
8399123
Aye, well I haven't written anything with him for a few years as I don't do pony any more