• Published 17th Oct 2012
  • 23,009 Views, 842 Comments

My New Life In Equestria - MaxBeezy

An ordinary human is transported to Equestria. Hilarity ensues. Sort of.

  • ...

The Adventure Begins [Extended Cut]

It’s a funny thing, life. No matter how hard you try, you cannot seem to shape your own destiny. Take me for example. I was Matthew Williams, a young sales rep for a video game store. It wasn't a fantastic job, as I sometimes got the disgruntled, entitled gamer that thought I ripped them off by letting them buy Call of Duty #556, and it turning out to be the same as the other 555 games that came before it, but it was nothing I couldn't handle after some experience over the years.

I never wanted that career, though. Truthfully, I always wanted to be something else, not the stereotypical Doctor or Lawyer that some parents always wanted their kids to be, but more like someone in the film business. Writer, Director, Actor, name any big career in the industry, chances are I would've liked to have been a part of it. Maybe not body double, I don’t think anyone would have wanted to see me buck ass nude. I spent four years at a film school, packed to the brim with those snobbish, holier than thou students, that think their turds don’t stink. You know the kinds; the ones that think the latest Hollywood event film is the work of the Devil, while the latest pretentious sense lacking art film was the greatest thing since sliced bread.

No matter how hard I tried getting in, it didn't seem to pan out for me. However, somehow, my ability to verbally stimulate the people I’m talking to, got me a job as a salesman, and I’ve been doing it for the past four years. I made money, good money, enough to move out of the house, and live in a decent apartment complex in New York City, with pleasant neighbors and a quiet atmosphere. I still send out query letters here and there, but hopes were all but slim at this point in time.

As you might have noticed, I have found the time to write now. Why? Well, it all started a couple months ago, when I met a group of unexpected guests.

It was a cold night in Central Park. I always liked to walk around when I was upset about something. This something was a bad day at the store, where my boss railed me about quotas being down. It was a bunch of mathematical garbage that I’m sure you wouldn’t be interested in, but it was enough to get me in a sour mood. I wish I could have just walked in, and quit the next day, and continued my dream of being a Hollywood big shot, but the money was keeping me nice and afloat. So, I just sighed to myself, and went on a walk.

I was ready to turn back and head for my apartment, when the sky became unusually cloudy. The winds were picking up, enough for me to struggle to keep my footing. Thunder and lightning flashed through the sky, I was scared. Above me, the sky opened, like it was a portal to another dimension. My mouth was agape, this is the kind of thing one would see in movies or comic books, but there I was, standing underneath a portal to some kind of alternate universe.

On retrospect, I probably should have moved to the side a little bit.

Six dark figures fell out of the portal, right on top of me. It hurt like hell, and I wasn’t too pleased having my bad day end with me getting crushed. If I was going to die like this, it would have been my least preferred method of death. Now, getting run over by an out of control semi-truck, driven by the incredible Hulk? That would be awesome.

“Ouch! What in the hay just happened?!” one said. The voice was definitely female, with a strong, yet comprehensible southern accent.

“I’m sorry!” another said. “That spell was stronger than I thought!”

“Well, now look what you did, darling! You transported us to Manehattan!”

“Manehattan? What the…?” I thought.

Then, they all started talking at once. The first thing I noticed was that everyone on top of me was female, since every voice above me had a feminine tone to it. The second was that they were heavy, and that I thought their shoes were so hard, that it felt like I was being assaulted by hooves.

“GET OFF OF ME!” I yelled. As much as the next guy would have been ecstatic to have been dog piled by a bunch of women, I’m not that guy.

It went quiet quick.

“Oh my gosh, are we on somepony?”

Somepony? That was something I never heard in my life.

I felt the bodies sliding off of me, and was finally able to breathe normally.

“I’m so sorry I---“

Her voice stopped, followed by all six voices screeching with terror. It was grating to hear. I put my hands to my ears to muffle the sounds.

“AHHH! What’s with the screaming?!”

I stand up, and look at my body. It looked fine. No immediate injuries or broken bones sticking out of me, though I was sure I would wake up with some nasty bruises the next day. I look straight to talk to these screeching women, when I found myself staring directly at six four foot tall ponies, of various colors, screaming at me. On instinct of seeing things not normal, I screamed too. The screaming seemed to go on forever, to the point where I almost fainted.

Before I could, though, I was suddenly struck in the face by the back hooves of one of the ponies, who was wearing a cowboy hat. I hit the ground harder than a sack of potatoes.

“Applejack!” I heard one say, as I fought to remain conscious. “Why did you do that?”

“He was screaming! I had ta shut him up!” she said in that southern drawl I heard earlier.

“So were we!”

“Well, one of us had ta stop!”

As I opened my eyes, I saw them all looking down on me, with worried eyes. They might have been frightened of me not five seconds ago, but now they looked at me like they just killed me. A collection of words came out of my mouth, none formed a comprehensible sentence. The ponies looked at me, confused. Finally, I was able to say….

“What the hell are you?!”

Not exactly the best choice of words.

“I could ask you the same thing!” the lavender colored one said, “There’s nothing in the books that talk about creatures like you!”

“I’m not sure what kind of books you’ve been reading, but I have plenty!”

I sit up, rubbing my head, as I look at all the ponies that surround me. There’s a white one, a yellow one, a pink one, a lavender one, the aforementioned orange one, and a blue one with a rainbow mane and tail. They all looked as if they stepped out of a computer, bright and colorful, with a two dimensional flair to them, but definitely three dimensional when one would look around to inspect them.

The pink one hops close to me. She leans towards me, meeting me eye to eye. She began to circle around me, looking at every inch of me. She was so close; I smelled the aroma of cotton candy from her hair. I was suddenly in the mood for cotton candy at that point.

“Well, I’m stumped.” she said, hopping back to the group.

“Wherever we are, one thing’s for certain. We’re not in Equestria anymore.” the lavender one said.

“Come on. Let’s go find a place to sleep. It’s dreadful out here.” said the white colored one.

“S-sorry for falling on you.” a particularly shy pony said.

I watched as they started to walk away, when, against my better judgment, I said something that changed the course of my life forever.


They all looked at me at the same time with great curiosity. Even in my confused state, I found that kind of cute.

“I live in an apartment just a couple blocks from here. You…” I paused. I could have turned back at the last minute, but somehow…I just couldn’t. I sighed before continuing my request. “You can stay with me if you like.”

They kept looking at me, blinking every once in awhile.

“Are you sure?” Lavender said. Since she talked the most, I was certain that she was the leader of the group.

“Yeah, it’s fine. There’s plenty of room, and it’s nice and warm.”

If you asked me then, I wouldn’t have any idea what to tell you about why I took them in. I realized later on, that deep down, I felt like I had an obligation to take care of them. Who knows what would have happened if I left them out there in the world? New York isn’t exactly Disneyland, and they could have gotten into all sorts of trouble with some of the locals. I didn’t want to think about it.

After a short while of the six conversing, they agreed to come with me.

The journey to my apartment wasn’t all that eventful. Being so late at night, the amount of civilians in my neighborhood was slim. It wasn’t all clear passage, though. Some homeless people freaked out, scaring a couple of the ponies, but I escorted them away from the babbling kooks.

Soon, we made it to my apartment complex. The ponies marveled about how tall it was.

“Wow, this place sure does remind me of Manehattan, back in Equestria.” said the southern one, “Almost a perfect match, just like ya said!”

I raised my eyebrow. That name again. “I’m sorry…Manehattan?”

She smiled at me. “Yes sir! We also call it The Big Apple!”

“What a coincidence. We call it The Big Apple too!” I said with a smirk.

“Really?!” she said, excitedly, “I think I like this place already!”

I walked into the lobby, making the ponies wait outside. I didn’t want to give the man at the front desk a heart attack just yet.

“Hello, Mr. Williams!” He said. It may have been a middle class apartment, but this guy treated his tenants like high class superstars.

“Hey Bob. I have a question; do you still allow pets in here?”

“Of course! As long as they are quiet, there won’t be any problems.”

“Okay. Just letting you know, they aren’t normal pets. So…don’t freak out.”

“Why? Are they tigers or something?” he joked.

I called the girls in. Bob’s mouth opens wide as the six of them were revealed to him. They all greeted him with a great deal of proper etiquette and respectfulness.

“Is that…”

“Yes, they’re colorful talking ponies.”


“I know. Crazy right? They’re only going to be here for a little bit, but….Bob?” He was not paying attention to me in the slightest. I pointed his direction back to me. “Bob, I need you to listen.” I said sternly, “Under no circumstances, do you tell ANYONE about this, okay?”

“No offense Mr. Williams, but that’s going to be hard to hide.”

He had a point. What if they wanted to go outside? I couldn’t just leave them shacked up for however long. “Just…for the time being. Okay?” I replied.

Bob looked at me, and then back at the still smiling ponies, then back at me. He nodded in compliance.

I walked to the elevator, where all six were waiting. I realized that the elevator wouldn’t move when I was inside, weight limit and all. So, I took the stairs up.

When I got to the sixth floor, the ponies were freaking out about the elevator. They told me that elevators were a rarity where they came from. Only the big cities of their world had elevators, while their small town was more inclined to use stairs.

The moment I unlocked the door to my apartment, the ponies came rushing in, pushing past me to get inside. They reveled in the warmness that it was producing. Most laid down on the couches, the pink one ran into my room, and started jumping on the bed excitedly, and the lavender one started searching through my shelf full of books.

“Hey!” I said. They all looked at me simultaneously. Second time they did that, and I don’t think I would ever get sick of it. “It’s really late. We can’t have any noise at this time, okay? I have plenty of blankets if anyone wants some, there’s a shower in the bathroom, and some food in the fridge. Are there any questions?”

The shy one raised her hoof. “What’s a shower?”

I paused. They don’t know what showers are? Surly they have baths where they came from. How else could they look so clean, and smell of plants, fruits, and candy?

“Goodnight.” I turned to walk away, when a realization dawned on me. I had no freaking clue what any of them were called! I turned back in a hurried pace.

“I’m sorry. Names! I forgot about names! I’m Matt. And you are..?”

The lavender one went first. “I’m Twilight Sparkle.” The only thought that raced through my head was those godawful books. It took my all not to bring it up to her. Seriously, it was bad enough hearing Twilight, but Sparkle? As in Sparkling Vampires? I bet if anyone else heard that name, they would think of the exact same thing. I couldn't have been alone in this.

The rest were less troubling. The pink one called herself Pinkie Pie, the southern one was called Applejack, the white one Rarity, the rainbow haired one Rainbow Dash, and finally….

“I’m Fluttershy…..” said the yellow one.

My reaction was as expected. “What?”

She replied again, but when it got to her name, she still trailed off. Only after a bit, did Twilight tell me her full name. Fluttershy. Somehow, it fit well. I couldn’t imagine the reason why.

When introductions were done, I went straight to getting ready for bed. After giving my new house guests some blankets, and getting Pinkie Pie off my bed, of course. I watched them all gather in my living room, circling around to find a comfortable spot, and fall right to sleep. With the craziness of the night behind me, I also went to bed, and dozed off rather quickly.

Considering that there were now six ponies in my place, I slept rather well that night. Waking up however, was a different story entirely. It was 8:30 in the morning, and I felt a heavy weight on my chest. I opened my eyes to see Twilight’s forelegs on me, laying on the bed, and staring right at me. Naturally, I jumped back, hitting my head on the wall hard.

“AH! JESUS!” I shouted.

“No, it’s Twilight. Who’s Jesus?”

I opened my mouth to speak, but whatever was going to come out would have been futile. I closed it back up.

“Nevermind.” I said, “What’s going on?”

“Take me to your library.” she demanded, standing up on all fours, “The books you have aren’t what I want.”

Though I understood that books about a thousand video games to play before death, and girls with tattoos of dragons on their backs wouldn’t exactly open up portals, I thought of what I said to Bob last night.

“I don’t think libraries allow animals into their facility.” I said, trying to get her to stay in the apartment, “What books do you need? I’ll go get them for you.”

Twilight sat down on the bed like a dog. It was kind of adorable.

“Well, I need Equestria’s Guide to Magic, The Big Book of Unicorn Spells, Dimensional Portals and You….”

I stopped her before she could go on. “Forget it.” I said, “You’re coming with me.”

She happily jumped off the bed. “Great! Let’s go!”

The other Ponies were still asleep. I felt a little guilty about my slight yell earlier, but they didn’t seem to hear me.

Walking along the sidewalk with Twilight was one of the stranger experiences I have had during the course of my existence. Everyone did a double take at her, took pictures with their camera phones, and even managed to stop traffic, with a few dented bumpers in the process. Nothing all that serious, depending on the car. Twilight looked at all of their faces, and turned back to me.

“What are they looking at me like that for?”

I looked at her with a raised eyebrow. She knew what I meant, and hung her head down.


The walk was pretty silent, mostly looking at the pedestrians looking at us. and children attempting to run up to her for some petting, but their parents dragging them away. I decided to break the ice.

“So…” I started off with, “How did you get here?”

“Well, I wanted to prove to Spike, that travel between locations was possible.”

“Spike?” I asked.

“He’s my dragon assistant.” I put a note in my head to ask about that later. Right now, an explanation about her arrival was more important. “Anyway, my plan was to go from Ponyville to Applewood within seconds, with a magical portal, while using more than one pony to do so. The spell worked, but we were sucked in, and we ended up here.”

“Do you remember the spell that brought you here?”

“Of course. But it takes a lot of magic, and I’m currently spent right now. It’ll be a while before I can make a spell like that again.”

“Then, why do you need books about portals and stuff?”

“To be sure if when I try the spell again, we will go back to our world, and not in some dangerous alien dimension.”

“I don’t know, you’re in a pretty dangerous alien dimension, right now.” I joked.

“You seem alright to me.” she said with a grin.

We made it to the library. The moment we walked in, we were stopped by security. He looked at Twilight with the same kind of reaction as everyone else, and then looked back to me.

“You cannot bring animals in here! Your horse stays outside.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Sir.” Twilight said innocently. The Guard practically had a heart attack when she spoke. “We’ll only be inside for a few moments. I won’t be any trouble. I’m very careful with things, and I promise I won’t make a mess.”

The Guard didn’t say anything. I’m sure whatever was going to come out of his mouth would be a series of expletives, followed by death. Surprisingly, Twilight’s plea worked, and he let us in.

I watched as Twilight trotted through the library, looking at book after book that would even vaguely have what she would be looking for. The other guests inside looked at her, in either sheer terror or wide eyed curiosity. Whenever they would look at me, I would simply shrug my shoulders, behaving like this was a normal occurrence in my daily life.

The lavender colored bookworm became increasingly irritated after each book proving to be unfruitful with information. Hours have passed, and we barely cut through half the massive library. After more of sitting around, checking the internet as I left Twilight to do her thing, I got bored, as she got more impatient. By the time she read the last book that would give a possible answer, she threw it up in the air, angrily sighing. This was met by the nearby librarian shushing loudly, silencing the upset pony. Twilight sat on the floor, looking down.

While I would normally not want to pry into an upset person…in this case pony’s business, since she was under my care, I had to know if she was alright.

“Hey…” I said in a caring tone of voice, “What’s the matter?”

“None of your books have what I’m looking for.” She silently says, disappointment filling her voice. “All I can find in this place that remotely relates to magic are seven books about an unnaturally hairy gardener!”

“Well, you don’t need the books anyway. Just use the spell when you’re ready.”

“But what if I mess up? What if I do the spell, and we’re launched into some other weird alternate dimension? No offense.”

“I don’t know. Maybe we’re the only two dimensions that exist, and you’ll just go back to your own world.”

“Ha!” Twilight laughs, “Only two dimensions…you’re funny.”

“I’m just trying to remain optimistic, Twilight.” I told her, “Besides, you never know.” I look back at all the people still staring at us; a large crowd has formed around us, nearly blocking our exit from the library. “I think we should go back to the apartment. I’m getting a little uncomfortable here.”

She sees what I am looking at, and soon agrees.

When we leave the library, a massive army of citizens, police, and animal control officers are standing in the front, ready to take Twilight away. The Police Captain, one of those gruff 'Take No Prisoners' type with a scraggly beard, pulls out a megaphone, shouting it like one would expect a person of his type would.

"Okay! This is the New York City police! That thing is an potentially dangerous extraterrestrial! We must bring it in for study!"

"Hey! I am NOT an extraterrestrial!"

"We're talking about the girl pony thing next to you, son. Not you."

"Oh. Well..." I put a hand on her shoulder, "You can't have her! She's just trying to get back home!"

"We've lost him! She has taken over his mind!" one random scientist yells out.

"The hell are you talking about?!" I scream back, "Do I look like I've been brainwashed?"

"Don't listen to him! He's trying to fool us!"

"The hell with this." I grab Twilight, and like a peterbilt truck, I ram through the crowd of people, clearing a path to get home. I hear the sirens blaring, and people running. I continue to hold onto Twilight's hoof; looking at her, she had a expression of fright. "It's okay Twilight! Just a couple more blocks!"

"We'll never make it!"

"Of course we will!"

"No! They'll find out where you live, and will storm the place! Then we'll never find a way home!"

"What do you suggest we do?"

"Hold me."

"Now's not the time to get all sappy, Twi!"

"No, hold me!"

I screech to the halt, kneel down, and hold onto her for dear life. Suddenly, all I could see is a bright flash of light.

POOF! With another flash, I open my eyes to see that we are back in the lobby of my apartment, Bob had a look of great shock and awe on his face. He never looked at me like that before, the poor guy. I'm surprised he has managed to keep it together, and not ratted me out to the police. He really was a nice guy.

"Hey Bob."

"Mr. Williams." he glances up at the floor where my room is.

“What’s the matter?”

“It appears your…friends…made a few orders while you were away.”

“What kind of orders?”

“Lots of fruits and vegetables.” I open my mouth to speak, but he stopped me before I could, "Don't worry. I signed for the order myself. He didn't see them."

"You didn't pay for it, did you?"

"No, your friends had a good bit of money on them."

"Money?" Twilight wonders, "But we use bits."

I looked over at Twilight, and we went up the stairs to my room. Upon entering, I saw the five ponies we left, making all kinds of food for the vegetarian lovers. Salads, meatless sandwiches, even pita rolls. Pinkie Pie was at the oven, baking what looked to be a cake, while Applejack was preparing an apple pie. This would all be very impressive, but…

“Where did you get the money for this?” I asked.

They all looked at me, surprised at Twilight and I’s arrival.

“You’re back!” Pinkie said happily, “Just in time too, we were about to make dessert!”

“You didn’t answer my question.” I said, more sternly.

“Oh…well you see…” Rarity said, “We didn’t have any bits on us, but we did find a box under your bed that had more than enough.”

My eyes go nearly bloodshot, as I know exactly what they were talking about. Instead of responding to them, I ran to my room, to find the box they mentioned. There it was...on the bed...opened up. I counted whatever was left; they took over a quarter of what was in it.

I walk back out, looking at everypony with disdain.

“You took my money without permission!”

“Don’t worry yourself darling, it was only a little bit.” Rarity tried to assure me. It wasn’t working.

“A little bit? I’ve been saving this money for something very important, for the past few years, and you just took eight months’ worth right out in seconds! Didn’t any of you read the note at the top?!”

I flipped the top of the box to them to see the note. ‘Don’t touch’

“Why do you have a note, when nopony else lives here?” Rainbow Dash inquired.

“Well…I…” That was a good question. “I wasn’t planning on being alone all my life…” I quietly said, “But that’s not the point! If you wanted some money, you could have just asked, and even then, I wouldn’t have given you THIS!”

“You weren’t here, so we had no choice!” Rainbow Dash continued.

“GOD…!!!” I stopped what I was about to say.

Eventually, I stormed back into my room, slamming the door shut before any of them could react to my temper tantrum. I slumped into my bed, looking up at the ceiling. Carefully, I put the box back under my bed, before running my hands through my hair in frustration. Seconds pass, and I heard the door open, and hoofsteps coming into the room. I continued to look at the ceiling, not paying much mind to whoever has trotted in.

“Ya alright, surgarcube?” I heard Applejack ask.

“I will be…eventually.” I replied, still not looking.

“May I ask what all the money was for?”

“You’ll probably laugh at me.”

“I wouldn’t do that. I promise.”

“It…” I sighed, “It was for a trip.”

“What kind of trip?”

“A trip to…everywhere, actually. I always wanted to see the world, and I was saving all that money to do so. Now I can only go as far as China…if I’m lucky.” I chuckled.

“I’m sorry we did that. I read the sign. I told them not to touch it, but…”

“Don’t worry about it. What’s done is done. I just needed some time to calm down, before I’d say things I would have regretted.”

“I’ve been there. Mah sister can sometimes be a real pain, down at the farm, but sometimes, I say things I shouldn’t have said. I feel terrible when I do. But, I’ve learned to keep calm and level headed.”

“You work at a farm?” I asked.

“Yep. Sweet Apple Acres is the name. We have the finest darn apples in Equestria!” she exclaimed proudly.

“Sounds nice.” I admitted.

Not wanting to look at the ceiling anymore, I turned to Applejack. Somehow, seeing her smiling face cheered me up, if only just a little bit.

“So, what did you make?” I asked.

“Well, the girls made salads and stuff. Your fridge was filled with meat, which was kinda disturbing.”

“It’s not ponies, I swear.”

“Ah figured as much. Yer cookbooks never mentioned pony meat. Anyway, ah made an apple pie. It’s mah specialty.”

“Apple pie, huh?” This piqued my interest, “Sounds delicious.”

“Well, come on over. You’re in for a mighty treat!”

I followed her back out, where the other five are sitting down, ready to eat. They looked up at me, upset that they made me mad. Instead of following through with some long, drawn out apology that would have probably ended up being a rambling mess of words that somehow formed a sentence, I simply smirked, and sat down with them. They understood that I was no longer mad at them, and went back to having those smiling faces.

The meal that followed was unconventional, at least for me. I’m not exactly a salad kind of guy, though I didn’t one hundred percent reject the idea of salads. Normally, a burger, or even a hot pocket would constitute my meals, especially if I was extremely lazy, and didn’t feel like making anything extravagant. The food that these equines made, however, was rather good. Whatever they bought, they bought the best. I assumed that they were very picky on their choices of food, and only settled for the sweetest, or the tastiest kinds.

I was so stuffed, I barely had any room for that apple pie, but somehow, I gulped it down. I hadn’t had such a dessert in a while, but the moment it hit my tongue, I was in pure heavenly bliss. It was easily the best pie I had in a long, long while. Pinkie Pie also made a cake, but it was devoured by the others before I could take a bite.


My cellphone blared a catchy tune, scaring everypony in the room.

"AHH! Run for it!" Fluttershy ducked under the table.

"Relax, it's just my phone." I say. I look at the caller ID, sighing at who it is. "Great." I answer, "Hey guys."

"What the hell is going on over there?!" It's my Dad, and he's none too happy.

"What do you mean, Dad?"

"You're all over the news, with some kind of purple creature!"

"Really?" I turn on the television, and sure enough, the old man was right. I see myself barreling through the crowd of people, with Twilight in tow. "That's really cool."

"No, it's not cool! Your mother is worried sick, and neighbors are coming to our door, asking if you had any psychological problems!"

"Well, that's just none of their business, wouldn't you say?" I chuckle.

"Dammit, Matt! This is serious."

"I know, Dad. They're just visiting..."

"They? How many of those things are you hiding?!"


"SIX?!" I can hear him nearly going into shock. "You have six of those things in your apartment?!"

"They're ponies, Dad. Talking animated ponies from another dimension. They aren't things. It's only going to be for a little while, okay?"

He sighs angrily into the phone. Some part of me just knows he's rubbing his eyelids in frustration. I don't blame him. Who else could say they have a son that is harboring six ponies in his apartment? I'm actually amazed he managed to pull himself together after I said such a ridiculous thing.

"I'm...I mean we are just concerned, son. Are you in some kind of trouble?"

"No, Dad. I'm not running with some kind of gang, or have a police record...at least...I didn't have a police record. You just have to trust me on this, okay? You're not going to tell anyone where I live, are you?"

"No, of course not."

"Okay, then."

"Just...be careful. Okay?"

"I will, Dad. Tell Mom not to worry, that I love her, and that I will see her soon."

"Okay. I love you, son."

"Love you too, Dad."

I hang up the phone. I see all the ponies looking at me, wondering what was going on at the other end of the conversation. I smile, and gather the plates to the sink.

I cleaned the dishes myself, despite the insistence of the others that they could help. I wanted to make up for my slight outburst, and do something nice for them, as they got ready for bed. Though most of the day was filled with mild disappointment, along with some major disappointment, it ended more pleasantly than I anticipated. Twilight didn’t tell me when her magic will return, but somehow…I hope it’s not too soon. I was kind of enjoying their company.

Morning came, and it was Monday. It was a work day. When I first started my job, I had to set the alarm for the time to go and get ready. I’ve been working at this job for so long now, that there is now no need to set the clock every night before sleeping. Even on days where I didn’t work, I would find myself waking up at the exact hour. This time, I was extra quiet, so I wouldn’t wake up the others. I took my shower, brushed my teeth, and had a small breakfast. There were a few fresh apples in the fridge, so I took one on my way out the door.

As I stood in the elevator, eating my apple (holy crap, that apple was delicious), I thought it was a little rude of myself to not leave a note to where I was headed. I made a mental note to call them, when I got to work, and leave a message if need be.

The elevator doors open, and I nearly jump back in shock to see Pinkie Pie on the other side, looking at me with a wide smile.

“Hi!” she said cheerfully.

“AH!” I yelped, “Pinkie! How did you get down here so fast?!”

“The stairs, silly!” she said, “I got here well before you did!”

The average time in the elevator without any extra stops was about 20 seconds. I timed myself once when using the stairs, and it would take just a little over a minute to get down to the lobby. How the heck did she get down there well before I did, and without tripping herself too? I shook my head, as there was no time to question the logic breaking activities of this creature.

“What are you doing down here, anyway?” I asked, “You should be asleep with the others.”

“I could ask you the same thing, Mr. Early Bird!”

“I have to go to work. I was going to leave a message when I got there….”

“Ooooh! Work? As in a job?” She said curiously. “What do you do? Is it hard? Can I come with?”

I could have said no. Thinking about it now, I should have said no. But even when cutting through the park, it would take me 30 minutes to get to work, even longer now, after the events of yesterday, and I had no more time to waste. To my great regret, I motioned the pink pony to come with me, and she followed me out the door, with a series of hops.

I snuck around the park, avoiding unnecessary risks. There is usually police all over the place, even in a park as nice as the one I cross.

"What are we doing?" asked Pinkie quietly.

"I drew some unwanted attention yesterday with Twilight. I'm trying to avoid that with you."

"Ah okay. Stealth mode, activated." She kicks into high gear, sneaking around the area, looking for clear paths for me to cross. She was fast, faster than I anticipated a pony such as her would be. She ducked and dived through the bushes, looking around for any patrols. She popped up out of a bush by the exit, waving me on to follow. I was, shall we say...less than graceful. Any attempt to be as sneaky as her resulted in me falling on my face or ass. Still, I somehow managed to make it to her in one piece.

I spot an alleyway, one that I would usually duck into if I was afraid of running late. The two of us dive inside, and go back to normal walking stances.

“So, what do you do?” she reiterated her question, as we walked through the alley.

“I sell video games. Well, I’m one of many people who sell video games.”

“Video games?” she asked, “You mean those big boxes with joysticks? How do you expect ponies…I mean people to take those home?”

“You might be thinking of arcade machines, Pinkie.” I corrected her, “We don’t sell those. Video games are for those with these somewhat small electronic systems you attach to your televisions. Much more practical than those unwieldy arcade machines.”

“I see.” she said, still not understanding of the idea, “What are televisions, anyway?”

“They’re electronic boxes, which show different programs. It’s sort of like an alternative to books.”

“An alternative to books? Who wouldn’t want to read a book?”

“You sound like Twilight.” I chuckled.

After a while of trying to explain television to Pinkie, we made it to my work. It took me a while to remember the sign plastered outside the door, stating ‘No Pets Allowed!’ right next to the sign that refuses solicitations and food consumers. I couldn’t just shoo her away, especially when there’s nopony else (did I just type that?) to escort her home. Even then, I wouldn’t trust two ponies that are still unfamiliar with this city to navigate back to my house. I hadn’t been written up yet by my boss, so I guess there’s a first time for everything. I hoped that he would be a little more lenient, considering that she can talk and form a semi-coherent thought…and also animated. The store could use a mascot. Heh, that would have been great.

We entered the store at the same time (thank god for double doors) to be greeted by my boss. He was Jason, a middle aged man, who looked like he had a stick up his ass for decades. I had no idea how he came to run the establishment; maybe he started out like me, and worked he way up. He didn’t even look like he knew what video games were, much less play them. I think he was only there to sell, rather than talk about the latest Halo or Resident Evil with the customers.

The moment he saw Pinkie, his brow furrowed with anger.

“Matt!” he yelled, “What the hell is going on with you, boy?! You're all over the news! And what’s this colorful animal doing in my store?!”

“Sir, this is…a friend of mine. Her name is Pinkie Pie and…”

“Why are you friends with an animal? Last I checked, animals don’t talk!”

“I do!” Pinkie exclaimed, hopping right in front of me, and right in Jason’s face. The look on him was priceless.

“What the shit?!” he screamed, “She talked? She can do that?! Can the other one on the TV do that?!”

“Yes we can!” she proudly stated, “I just want you to know that I’ll do my best not to be a nuisance, and help in any way possible, okay?”

He stared at her, then back at me…then back at her…then back at me…I think it went on for a couple minutes until…

“Keep an eye on her.” he harrumphed, “Make sure she doesn’t shit everywhere.” He walked into his office, and shut the door. I just knew he was watching us on the monitor in that office. I’ve seen it before with the other employees.

“What’s shit?” she turned back to me.

“Feces.” I said with a deadpan tone of voice.

“Ew! I would never do that! We have bathrooms in Equestria! Who does he think I am? An anim…oh….right.”

“Yeah, the horses and ponies of this world frequently like to drop their…excrement wherever they please.”

“Gross. I’m glad I’m not like that at all.”

“Me too.” I laughed, "I just hope he doesn't call the police."

I explained to her the rules of the store, and to stay at my side at all times. She was adamant about walking up to people on the sales floor to help them, but I tried to tell her that I didn’t want to scare them away. She nodded as if she understood me, but deep within my brain, I had the feeling that she wasn’t going to listen.

The first customer walked in.

“Hi!” she yelled.

The first customer fled in fear. I hope he doesn't call the police either.

“I’m sorry.” she told me, “I think I came on a little too strong.”

“It’s okay.” I assured her, “Let me do the talking, and if they’re curious…try not to be so…startling.” She nodded.

The next customer walked in. Pinkie didn’t say a word, just like she promised. Within minutes, the customer found what she was looking for, and came to me. As we were making the transaction, her eyes fell on the pink pony at my side.

“Cute standee.” she said, “Is that for a new game coming out?”

“Actually, this is my friend. He name is Pinkie Pie. Say hi, Pinkie.”

“Hello.” she said with much less enthusiasm than she did the first customer, but still unmistakably happy.

“Woah!” her eyes go huge, “That’s awesome! Where did you get her?”

“It’s a long story.” I told her, “She's from out of town, so it’s only for a little while.”

“She’s so cute!” I couldn’t dispute that, “Can I pet her?”

I looked at Pinkie for permission. She allowed it. The customer patted Pinkie on the mane, and she was happy to receive it. She then left with her purchase with a smile on her face. So far, so good. I congratulated Pinkie on a job well done.

The next few hours slowly but surely started to degenerate into something a little less pleasant. It was becoming busier by the minute, my boss wasn’t coming out to help (the lazy bastard), and the second employee called in sick. Pinkie wanted to help, I could see the look in her eyes, but I pleaded with her to not go out on the floor. It was headed for the afternoon, and it was reaching a fever pitch. I was going through transactions like hotcakes. I hoped that Jason would double my pay for the debacle that was happening.

Pinkie couldn’t take it anymore. She brushed past me, hopping off the table, and onto the sales floor. She walked around, asking those if they needed help. They predictably shrieked in fear, and came running out the door. Somehow, I got the easily frightened customers that day. As each potential sale made their way out the door, the more I become frustrated with Pinkie. I knew she meant well, but I gave her direct orders. I knew my boss wouldn’t like that…

And he didn’t.

When the crowd died down, he came exploding out of his office like a stereotypical action movie hero, but instead of Bruce Willis, I got a guy with a bald spot and a beer gut.

“What the hell?!” he shouted, “Look at what she did! She scared off half the store with the shit she pulled!”

“I’m sorry, sir. Won’t happen again.” I looked at Pinkie sternly.

“It better not! One more slip up, and you’re fired!”

“Fired?” I queried, “I haven’t been written up once during my four years here!”

“I should have fired you on the spot for bringing her here in the first place, but I’m in a good mood today.” Sure didn’t look like it. “You better watch yourself for the rest of the day!” He went barreling back into his office.

“Pinkie…” I said with seriousness, “I told you to stay with me.”

“I had to do something. You looked so busy.”

“I know. Don’t worry about it. I’ve dealt with crowds like this all the time. Just…stay here, okay?”

“Okie dokie loki.” she said.

The next hour seemed to get better. Customers that were curious about her got a surprise when she spoke up. Luckily, it was a nice surprise, as they were taken by her bubbly personality. Everything seemed to be looking up.

But then, as the end of my shift approached, Pinkie spotted a customer headed for the door with a game box in his hand.

“THIEF!” she shouted, jumping away from me, and straight for the man. She knocked over a few displays, and racks of games to get to him, before tackling him to the floor.

“PINKIE!” I yelled, “He wasn’t stealing anything!”

“Yes he was!” she said with determination, “He was about to walk out the door, when I caught him!”

“He’s a regular here, Pinkie! Even if he was stealing, there’s no game in the box!” I took the box from the customer, and opened it up for her. As she was staring, he crawled from underneath her, and ran out the door.

On cue, my boss came storming out.


“I’m sorry…” I said quickly, “It was just a misunderstanding…”

“A misunderstanding?! She wrecked my store! Clean this mess up, now!”

“Yes, sir.”

“And when you’re done…get out of here! YOU’RE FIRED!”

My jaw dropped from my head. I could have argued with him, but he once fired a guy for putting a soda on the front desk. There was no use. I cleaned up the mess; Pinkie tried to help, but I didn’t acknowledge it. I should have never brought her with me. I should have told her to stay with the others, and wait for me to come back. How could I have been so stupid?

We cut through the park like normal, Pinkie slowly trotted behind me.

“I’m sorry.” she said. This was the millionth time she said it. Slight exaggeration, I know. I responded to her the same way…with silence. “Are you mad at me?”

What followed was something I should have never done. I paused, as my eyes were filled with rage at that question.

“Mad?” I said. “I’m not mad…I’M FURIOUS!” I turned to her, getting right in her face, “YOU GOT ME FIRED!”

“I said I was sorry.” she said timidly.

“SORRY DOESN’T GET MY JOB BACK!” I screamed at her, “I had a good job! Sure, the boss was a pile of waste, but a good job! It got me paid, it got me good money! And now, it’s gone!”

“You can use the money under your bed…”

“You don’t get it, do you?! I was saving that money! This job was supposed to help me with the other expenses. No job…no money! Now, I have to cut through my savings, just so I get by before I find a new line of work, and who knows how long that’s going to be, the way this economy is going?!”


“How did spending a couple days with you ponies ruin my life so quickly?! I can’t wait till Twilight gets her powers back, just so I don’t have to see any of you anymore, and you can all be gone from my life FOREVER!”

I was done. Pinkie was frozen solid.

I sighed, and turned to keep on walking, but the sounds of her sniffling caught my attention fast. I turned back around to see her once poofy hair, had deflated into long straight streaks.

“Uh...what’s up with your hair?” I asked.

“It…gets like that…when I’m…sad.” she said, in between sniffles.

I realized what I had done. I screwed up…bad.

“Oh no…” I said under my breath, “No, no, no, no….” I leaned down to her level, “Pinkie…I need you to not cry right now, okay?”

“You….you hate us…” she sobbed, “You want us gone…”

I look around, and saw people looking right at us; most were looking right at me…judging me for what I had said to this innocent creature, the others have taken out their camera phones, recording us. The weight of my words brought my heart crashing to the ground below, and all that was there now, was a dark void of regret.

“Pinkie…” I began to tear up, “Please don’t cry…I don’t do well with crying.”

“I was…just trying…to help…” she cries, “I didn’t…mean…to be a burden.”

“I know, I know. And I’m grateful…but…”

“Then why are you so mad?! I didn’t know that that man wasn’t stealing! How could I have known that?! You didn’t tell me!”

“I messed up, I realize that…”

“And now you hate me! You hate us all! I just wanted you to be happy, and have a good day!” she sobs hard. Those judgmental eyes were piercing my very soul. I didn’t know what to do…what to say.


“Aw, hell with it!” I said.

I wrap my arms around her in the blink of an eye. Her crying stops instantly. I never hugged anyone else before, especially not a cartoon pony, but I embraced her with as much gentleness as I could give. She was soft, a part of her wet with tears, but still soft. I ran one of my hands on her mane, giving it a nice stroke, like I was lightly petting her.

“I’m so sorry, Pinkie.” I whispered into her ear, “I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. I was just so frustrated, and I took it out on you.”

“But…it was my fault.”

“No, it was my fault. I didn’t tell you everything. I should have.”

“Do you…do you hate me?”

“No, Pinkie. I don’t hate you. I don’t hate any of you. I’ll never yell at you again. I promise.”

She was quiet for a few seconds. Suddenly…POOF! Her hair exploded back into its normal state. I separated myself from her, to see that she is back to being all sunshine and happiness.

“Thanks for that!” she said in a bouncy tone, “I feel much better now! Let’s go back to your place!”

She hopped past me, as I sat there dumbfounded by what just happened. Those watching me had a similar reaction as well. I went after her, before she got too far away from me. I hear approaching sirens. Someone had called the cops.

"Shit, not again!" I run past Pinkie, "Come on, Pinkie!"

We managed to avoid detection, much to our great luck and Pinkie's incredible sneaking techniques. That night, we refrained from telling the others the full story of what happened at work, just that I ‘quit’ my job, and have set my sights on better things. In a way, I kind of was. Though I was appreciative of the pay, in terms of actually getting closer to my goal, the job was as dead of an end as it could have been. The meal that they cooked up, much like the last one, was scrumptious, and made a mental note to remember the recipes that they cooked up for the food. We all gathered by the television, watching the news, hoping to see if I showed up again. To them, I had suddenly become a big time celebrity.

“Oh!” Twilight remembered, “I almost forgot to tell you all…I finally have enough power to make the portal again!”

“Thank goodness!” Fluttershy said, “I was getting worried. Poor Angel might be starving, right now.”

“When are we going to try it?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Tonight…if Matt wants me too.”

They looked at me. A part of me wanted to say no, and have them stay one more night. I didn’t prepare a goodbye or anything. However, the way she looked at me, she seemed determined to try it as soon as possible. I sighed to myself.

“Sure.” I said. Neither one of them caught on the air of disappointment in my voice. Instead, they cheered happily at the chance to go back home.

To celebrate for them, I corked open a bottle of wine, and poured a glass for each pony. They mentioned that they dabbled in wine every once in a while, so I figured it couldn’t have hurt. They tasted the wine carefully, it was white wine, and the flavor was unfamiliar to them. They said that they mainly drink dandelion wine, which I never tasted…or even heard of for that matter, but they thought the taste was fine nevertheless.

“To new beginnings.” I said, raising my glass to the ceiling. I looked over at them, realizing that they cannot do the same. After a brief chuckle, I tapped each of their glasses.

“To new beginnings!” they all yelled simultaneously.

"HEY LOOK! You're on TV again, Matt!" Pinkie points at the television.

We all look to see a news report about the footage of me and Pinkie in the park. There's no audio, but the footage shows me yelling at poor Pinkie. The others gasp.

"Why were you yelling at Pinkie, Matt?" Rainbow Dash asks, trying to get into my face.

"No, Rainbow. It was my fault. I accidentally got him fired from work."

"Pinkie!" Twilight says.

"No, don't get mad, you guys. It's okay." I tell them, "It's fine, really."

They look back at the television, and they see me lean down, and hug Pinkie, cheering her up. The anger that was inside them dissipated, as they watched me hold Pinkie tightly, taking her tears away.

"Awwwwwwww...." They all said.

"I didn't know you cared so much about us, Matt." Twilight said in admiration, "Thank you."

"Yeah." I chuckled, as they walked away. "Me neither," I whisper, so no one could hear.

Midnight approached, and we were all back in Central Park. Forty eight hours earlier, I was crushed by these six ponies, now I was saying goodbye to them. I’d be lying if I told you that I wasn’t going to miss them when they were gone. I did a pretty alright job at hiding my true feelings, but I think that they were aware of them just by looking at me.

“Well…I guess this is it…” I said, “Are you sure this is going to work?”

“Positive.” Twilight replied, “I thought about it hard, and I believe that we will be back in our own dimension.”

“I only ask, because you seemed hesitant yesterday.”

“I’m being positive. Just like you.” she smirked.

“Think there might be a chance that you’ll make your way into this dimension again, any time soon?” “I wondered.

“Who knows? Probably.”

She looked back at the clear area ahead of her. She concentrated hard, as her horn glowed a bright brilliant purple hue. Soon, the portal appeared right in front of us. It was less aggressive than it was a couple days ago; I figured Twilight had a better handle on it now. She looked back at me with a smile.

“Good luck.” she said.

“Same to you.”

She was the first to go through. The others followed suit, each with their own look to me, and a different kind of goodbye. Pinkie gave me a nice tight hug, while Applejack gave me one of her freshly baked pies. As the last of them went through the portal, I thought about my future, and what I was going to do next. I thought about taking up writing again, trying to continue my dream of being a part of the movies. Now that I had the time, I could’ve gotten going on that super amazing screenplay. I turned to leave when…


I hit a low hanging tree branch. I stumbled backwards…holding my head in pain…and fell right into the portal.

Whoops. Didn’t see that coming.

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