Announcements and Preparations
Applejack and Matt lay in bed, holding one another tightly, as the morning sun shines in their faces. Applejack wakes up first, looking at the clock like she would do when she was living back at the farm. It’s late, later than she had ever slept. No problem, though. It’s only Sunday, and she doesn’t work on Sunday, unless it cannot wait. She feels Matt’s chest move in and out, finding comfort in his peaceful breathing. The sunlight then hits his eyes, slowly waking him up. He looks down, and notices Applejack looking at him with a smile.
“Good morning.” he said, greeting her with a peck on the cheek, “How was it sleeping in your new home?”
“Best sleep I had in months.” she replied, “You?”
“The bed was reeaeally comfortable.” he said almost seductively, but in a joking manner. The two share a chuckle, and playfully push each other around. They stop.
"I think ah could get used to this." Applejack smiles, "Waking up, and you holdin' on to me, every mornin'."
"What do you mean 'could'? I'm already used it." he chuckles. Applejack responds with a small kiss on the lips.
“Now that we're engaged, what are we going to tell them?” she asks him.
“Depends. Who do we tell first? Your family, or friends?”
“Definitely family. Get the worst out of the way first.”
“I think you’re right.”
Applejack sighed in happiness; the thoughts of being married swirling through her mind.
“Applejack Williams…” she says quietly, “How does that sound to you?”
Matt grimaces, “It sounds awful. Getting married was a bad idea.” Applejack stares at him, not understanding his tone. “I’m kidding.” he laughs, “Seriously though, it sounds weird. How about I use your last name?”
“Matthew Williams Apple?” she thinks for a moment, “That sounds weird too.”
“Well, which one sounds less weird to you?”
They both think for a moment, considering both names. At the same time, they say “Matthew Williams Apple” before bursting with laughter.
“So, it’s settled then. Good thing the hard part is over.” Matt jokes, “Your family is going to be very easy by comparison!”
Applejack’s family was anything but.
The two sit at the end of the table, as the staring eyes of Applebloom, Big Macintosh, and Granny Smith were piercing through their very souls. Beads of sweat drip down the couple’s faces, unsure of the reaction to come. Big Mac tapped his forehoof on the table, as an intimidation method, Applebloom pouted in judgement, while Granny Smith just STARED, with no emotion on her face. She was easily the scariest out of the three.
“So…” Granny Smith started talking, “Whatcha sayin is…you…a human…want ta marry mah Granddaughter?”
“Yyyyess…Ms. Smith.” Matt gulped in nervousness, “I love your Granddaughter very much, and I would be honored to have her as my wife.”
“Ah see…” she keeps on staring; nopony knowing what she is thinking. She glances at Big Mac, then Applebloom, who glance back at her, as if telepathically having a conversation. All three look at the couple. They stand up from their chair, and in an instant, their judgmental faces turn into wide smiles. “Welcome to the family!” Granny Smith shouts.
The three gather around the confused Matt and Applejack, giving them a great big hug, laughing, and talking about how great it is for him to be joining the family.
“Aw shoot, I always considered ya family anyway!” Big Mac states, “Ah know you’ll take good care of my lil’ sis!”
“Ah always wanted another brother!” said Applebloom. “Even if he is a tall human like you!”
As proud as Matt was by their speeches of pride, he had only one thing to say.
“Lungs….can’t breathe.” he wheezes in pain. They all let go of the couple. “Thanks.” he is grateful.
"Well, that wasn't so bad." Applejack admitted.
One group down, one more to go.
The pause was even longer than the one with the Apple family, if one can believe that. Inside Sugar Cube Corner, the five ponies stared with varied states of emotion, as Matt and Applejack continued to stand side by side, looking at the faces that are trying to comprehend the situation. The five that stand before them look at one another, seeing if they can agree on one opinion. They cannot.
“This is all kind of fast, isn’t it?” Twilight asks, “Have you two settled on a date, yet?”
“We don’t know.” Matt replied, “We were wondering what any of you thought, before we set anything in stone.” He is confused by their faces. “It’s a little hard to get a bead on what you girls are thinking; it’s freaking me out a little.”
“Applejack…” Twilight turns to her friend, “Is this what you want?”
The cowpony looks up into Matt’s loving eyes, and back at Twilight.
“More than anything.”
The mares couldn’t argue with her. They know exactly what she wanted, and she was going to stay with him no matter what. It’s not as if they weren’t happy for her, far from it; but that they thought she dove into the decision rashly.
“In that case…” Rarity stands forward, “Let me be the first to say congratulations.” she smiles.
“Yeah! Congratulations!” Rainbow Dash triumphantly says.
“Congratulations…whohoo.” Fluttershy says with practically a whisper.
Twilight remained hesitant. The eyes of everypony were on her now.
“Well…” she sighs, “I still think you two are rushing into this. But, I’m not going to deny how happy you two look. Congrats.” she grins.
In a sudden explosion of confetti, Pinkie Pie shot her randomly generated party cannon all over the room. Everyone is showered in party favors and glitter.
“This calls for a celebration, everypony!” Pinkie shouts whilst putting on a record player with bouncy music, “Let’s party!” Pinkie hops onto the dance floor, belting out her best moves like there is no tomorrow.
The rest of the gang joins her, happily dancing to the catchy beat. Everyone except Matt, who is standing there wondering where that party cannon and record player came from. He didn’t recall seeing either of them when he walked in.
Without warning, Pinkie stops the record player, rushing to Matt and Applejack.
“Oooh! Ohhh! Can I be your wedding planner?!” she shouts the question in their faces, “I’ll do a really good job!”
“Errr…are you even qualified to be a wedding planner, Pinkie?” Matt wonders.
“How hard can it be? It’ll be like planning a party, only bigger! It’s going to be so cool! Can I, Can I,
pleeeeaaaaassssssssseeeeeeeeeee?” she gives them the cutest puppy dog eyes they have ever seen. The two look away, before their hearts explode into cuteness.
“Okay fine!” Matt covers his eyes, “Just stop doing that!”
“My heart is starting to hurt!” Applejack yelled.
“Yay!” Pinkie bounces along the room at a rapid pace, ricocheting off the walls, ceiling, anything with a surface. She bounces so hard, she hits Matt in the head, sending him crashing to the ground. She stops almost instantaneously. “OOPS!”
“I’m okay…” Matt raises a hand into the air, “I think I’ll just lay down here for a little bit.”
This is nothing new anymore for the six. Matt had gained a reputation for himself over time, with other ponies calling him Mr. Bumbles, even to his face. He didn’t care much; he knew he was a clumsy dope. They laugh at his head injury, and he laughed along with them.
The next morning, Applejack and Matt made their way back to Sugar Cube Corner. Pinkie Pie ran up to them as the sun rose, yelling about how she had already drummed up a whole boatload of new awesome ideas that they were sure to love. Matt was curious, Applejack was a bit worried.
“Matt, are you sure that making Pinkie the weddin’ planner was a good idea?”
“Pinkie’s our friend, I’m sure she wouldn’t try to mess it up.”
“Ah know that, but I’m not sure if a weddin’ needs her expertise.”
“Ah…” he shrugged, “It’ll be fine.” A loud explosion of party noises and confetti fly out of the chimney of Sugar Cube Corner. Matt and Applejack looked at it with noticeable concern. “Then again, I am just a teensy bit worried.”
“You can handle it, sugarcube.” Applejack grazes her cheek against his arm, “Ah gotta get to Rarity’s to try on some dresses.”
“Do you want me to come with you?”
“No sir, it’s bad luck for the groom to see his bride’s dress before the weddin’.”
“You ponies have that superstition here too, huh?”
“Dang right we do. I’ll catch ya later.” Applejack waves, walking out of Matt’s sight, and off to Carousel Boutique.
Matt entered Sugar Cube Corner with all the caution he could muster. The place looked seemingly normal, like the confetti that shot out of it earlier never really happened. He closed the door slowly.
“Pinkie?” he called out.
BOOM! More confetti and party favors shoot out of random places, all over Matt, as Pinkie bursts from behind the counter in celebration.
“Hello, lucky groom! Have I got a treat for you!” she reaches out, grabbing a rolling chair, and setting it down in front of Matt. He shrugs his shoulders, sitting down for what will eventually be quite a ride. She pushes him to a room that he had never seen before. A dark noiseless room, that is until Pinkie flips on the lights, showing pony mannequins dressed in southern garb, hay all over the place, and country music playing.
“This is my first set!” she exclaims, “It’s a rootin’ tootin’ southern wedding, just what Applejack would like!”
“That’s…interesting…”
He has no time to make a full critique, as Pinkie pushes him to yet another unseen room. She flips on the light switch, revealing a party more akin to Pinkie’s style. It almost looks like something for a child; with balloons, piñatas, and various other games adorning the floors and walls.
“And this is a full on party wedding! You got bobbing for apples, pin the tail on the pony, shark tank, with real live sharks! Don’t worry, I defanged them. It wasn’t easy!”
“Pinkie, this looks more like a reception, than an actual wedding...”
“Hmmm…” she rubs a hoof on her chin. “You have a point there.” she grabs the chair, racing it along the bakery. “This way!” she heads to another room. “This is…” She flips a switch. The Cake twins, Pumpkin and Pound, are fast asleep. “Oops, this is the twins’ bedroom. My mistake.” she gently closes the door, and pushes Matt to another room.
“This is something if you’re feeling all fancy pants!”
She flips the light switch. To Matt’s amazement, the room light up, revealing a classic wedding set. Pure white walls, tables, rugs, and balloons. He gets up from the chair, looking around the room. He is in awe, but…something is missing.
“What do you think?” Pinkie asks.
“It’s beautiful. But…a little…traditional?”
“Well, we have the way the old timers did weddings!” she suddenly pulls out a shotgun, cocking it with glee. Matt raises his hands.
“No! It’s not that kind of wedding!”
“Oh, right. You have to be forced into it for that. Sorry!” she tosses the shotgun elsewhere. “So…what do you think?”
Matt thinks for a moment. There are a few things consider. He knows Applejack wouldn’t want a normal wedding, she’s anything but ordinary. However, she wouldn’t want an out of control party wedding. That’s just way too much. Like a light bulb in Matt’s head, an idea lit up.
“Pinkie, can you try combining this, with the southern wedding idea?”
“Combining? Hmmm…” She thinks, “How would one go about doing that?”
“I was thinking; maybe we can redesign the barn to look like a chapel, and our outfits would be a combination of fancy, yet southern. And the band will play the wedding music, rather than a normal church organ.”
It clicks with Pinkie. Her eyes go as wide as her smile.
“I know just what to do!” she pushes Matt in the chair, and rolls him towards the door. “I’ll see you later!”
“Wh-AHHH!” Matt doesn’t get another word out, as he is push right out the door, and onto the dirt. He gets up, dusting himself off. “Not how I imagined that meeting to turn out, but…” He notices on the ground two shadows approaching him slowly. He looks up; standing before him is a male white unicorn, and a pink alicorn. They look at him, like they should know him, but do not. “Ummm…hi.” Matt waves.
“Excuse me.” the unicorn stallion says, “Are you Matt?”
“The one and only.” he grins, “Who are you?”
“My name is Shining Armor, and this is my wife Cadance.”
“Shining Armor?” The name initially doesn’t sound familiar, but it then hits him. “Shining Armor?! Twilight’s brother?!”
“Yep.” he reaches a hoof out for a shake, which Matt takes happily. “Twilight has told us much about you.”
“Likewise.” he looks at Cadance, “It’s so nice to meet you, too!” he shakes her hoof, “What are you two doing here?”
“Twilight told us that you were getting married soon, and we just had to finally meet you.”
“Where is the lucky bride?” Cadance asks, looking for Applejack.
“She’s at Carousel Boutique, getting fitted for dresses.” he points to where Rarity’s is.
“I think that’s my cue to take my leave.” Cadance announces, giving Shining Armor a peck on the cheek. “You take good care of him, dear.”
“You two sweet pea.” Shining Armor smiles. The Princess takes her leave.
“You know, there’s a pony around here named Sweet Pea.” Matt says.
“I know. We have to be careful when we call each other names.” Shining Armor chuckles, “Anyways, the other guys are waiting. It’s time for your party.”
“Party? What party?”
Meanwhile, at Carousel Boutique, Applejack is trying on various dresses, made by Rarity. She had spent a lot of time, once again pulling an all-nighter to get these selections looking as perfect as the next one. Rarity made sure that the dresses suited Applejack’s style, with all of them having some sort of southern vibe to them.
Unfortunately, Applejack has become increasingly restless and nervous with each passing design, rejecting them within seconds of looking in the mirror.
“No, no , no!” Applejack shouts, “It’s all wrong!”
“What’s the matter, Applejack?” Rarity asks. “All you’ve been saying is ‘no’, with no reason as to why you don’t like it.”
“I…I don’t know!” Applejack steps off the runway. “It just feels off, ya know?”
“I made each dress specifically for you.” Rarity watches her dear friend sit down, eyes watering. “What’s the matter?” Rarity puts a hoof on Applejack’s shoulder.
“Ah just want to look good, for the weddin’, that’s all.”
“This isn’t like you, AJ. I thought you didn’t care what others thought of what you wore. What happened to the mare that wanted galoshes on her Grand Galloping Gala dress?”
“This is different. This is mah weddin’, and I want to look perfect for him.”
“Oh darling.” Rarity chuckles, “He’s going to think you look perfect, no matter what.”
“How do you know?”
“It’s the look in his eyes, AJ. I’ve seen it every time he looks at you. It’s a little hard to explain without sounding mushy, like those dreadful romance novels that I never read.”
“Tell me.”
“It’s kind of like…the look of a stallion, in this case a man, who can and will do anything to stay with you. The look that says that he would jump through fire to get to you, to take a bullet so that you would live another day, the look that says that no matter what, he would always love you…til his last breath.” Rarity sighs, looking back on how romantic that all sounded to her.
“Wow…” Applejack exhales, and then thinks, “So, what book did you get that from?”
“The Maltese Earl's Virgin Countess…” her eyes go into shock. “Hey!” she screams; Applejack laughs.
“Ya said you didn’t read those silly things!”
“I nev…well, a mare is entitled to her guilty pleasures, every once in awhile.”
Applejack continues to chortle, before looking in the mirror again, feeling bad about what she said earlier.
“I’m sorry, Rarity.” Applejack sniffles off the laughter, “These dresses really are beautiful, but somethin’s missin’. Ah can’t put mah hoof on it.”
“Hmmm…” Rarity soon sees her point. Thinking, she looks around the room for a possible solution. She finds it. “I think I know what the problem is.” Using her magic, she floats Applejack’s hat into the air, settling it on AJ’s head. She then places the veil on it. “Well? What do you think, dear?”
Applejack looks in the mirror, and her expression says it all; she loves it. The hat perfectly complements the look. She turns to Rarity.
“Ah think I want to try the other ones again, now.”
Matt is being led back to Twilight’s house by Shining Armor. As much as he continues to ask the Captain of the Royal Equestrian Guard what is going on, he is as tight lipped as he is ever going to be, but maintaining an endless grin. As they get closer, Spike, along with Big Mac and Donut Joe, come out, with the same smiles on their faces.
“Okay guys, what’s the big deal?” Matt inquires, “This isn’t what I think it is…is it?”
“You bet your flank it is!” Donut Joe announces, “You’re the groom, so it’s time we show you how us ponies…and dragon…do a bachelor party!”
“Oh no, guys come on.” Matt starts backing up, “I-I don’t think this is a good idea.” He backs up into Shining Armor.
“Come on.” Shining Armor says, “We all have to go through this before marriage. I did it, and I turned out all right.”
“How did it turn out for you?”
“I…” Shining Armor tries to remember, but…”I don’t remember.”
“That’s what I’m worried about! We’re probably going to get super hammered, and then you guys are going to leave me on a roof or something for days! I saw it in a movie once!”
“Hey!” Spike exclaims, “That sounds like fun! Get him!”
“Oh shit!”
All of them gang up on the surprised Matt. He pushes past them, running as fast as he possibly could. Shining Armor shoots a bolt of magic, creating a wall in front of the groom to be. Predictably, because he is Matt, he SLAMS into the wall hard, falling onto the ground with a loud thud. The stallions and dragon gather around the coughing Matt, recovering from the wind being knocked out of him.
“So…where are we going?” Matt whispers in pain.
“We’re going to Las Pegasus.” Big Mac says with pride, like he’s been there before. “Yer going to have the time of yer life!”
“Oh great.” Matt sarcastically quips, “Massive sunburn, here I come.”
They lean down, lifting him onto their backs, and start walking over to the train station, all the while he screams at them, demanding that they put him down, and take him back home.
Applejack had finally made her decision on the dress. Rarity finishes placing it onto the rack, pleased by her friend’s ultimate choice.
“I’m so glad you picked that one, darling. I feel it’s my best one. Not to toot my own horn of course.”
“Aw shucks, Rarity. You can toot your own horn anytime ya…”
Pinkie suddenly bursts through the door, loudly playing a horn. The sounds is screeching, threatening to deafen the ears of AJ and Rarity.
“IT’S TIME!” Pinkie shouts, as Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Flutershy, and Cadance follow her in. “Is the bride ready?”
“Just about, Pinkie. I need to write some notes.”
“W-wait, hold up just a moment. Am I ready for what?”
“Are you kidding?” Rainbow Dash scoffed, “Do you even know what happens before a bride and groom get married?”
“Umm…not really, no.”
“They have a PARTY!” Pinkie’s shout pierces the heavens.
“A bachelorette party, to be precise. I read all about it in a book.” Twilight holds up the book ‘So You Want To Have A Bachelorette Party’. Twilight looks excited to be a part of this. “This is going to be great. We even wrote a list of things to do.”
“More like YOU wrote a list of things to do!” Rainbow Dash butted in, “We’re going to do what we want, right Fluttershy?”
“Um…yes…I suppose…” Fluttershy whispers in nervousness.
“But, we haven’t set a date yet. Isn’t it a little early for a party?” Applejack asks.
“Early for a party?!” Pinkie gasps, “NEVER!”
“Okay, so…where are we all goin’?”
The mares look at one another, then back at Applejack.
“LAS PEGASUS!”
Applejack backs away from them in fear of that place.
“Oh no. Not Las Pegasus! I heard a lot of bad stories bout that place!” She backs up into Rarity. There is no escape now.
“Oh come now, dear. It’s going to be fun. I promise that you won’t regret it.”
“Ah think I just might!” She looks at Cadance, “Cadance, what did you do for your bachelorette party?”
“Well, I went to Las Pegasus. It was me that came up with the idea.”
“What did you do there?”
“I...” Like her husband, she draws a blank. “Huh...I’m not sure.” This didn’t do much to calm Applejack down.
“Listen ya’ll, ah don’t think we should do this! I heard that one time, a mare got stuck on a roof when…”
She is suddenly picked up by Twilight and Rarity’s magic, and they walk out of the boutique, all the while she screams at them, demanding that they put her down, and take her back home.
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What's the bet they have sex with each other and are both way too drunk to even remember it afterwards? And they think they've betrayed each other?
This is going to be fantastic.
I SMELL SHENANIGANS!
1689042
Nice avatar. FOR THE HORDE!
So much lolerz! I love this story!
I can sense a shit storm a brewing with both parties going to los pegasus
I might have an idea of what the next chapter will be like for the girls.
i1257.photobucket.com/albums/ii516/Klutzybear/my_little_hangover_by_killkatt-d3j3u53.jpg
. . .But it's just an idea. . . .
d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4169004_700b.jpg
Imminent Hilarity
I think... that purely for epic lolz...
Matt should be reading random books in the library(This is set AFTER they do the 'horizontal monster mash'), stumble upon a pony biology book, and read that(this is totally made up, mind you) Ponies have a count of 46 chromosomes, or 23 pairs.
Then he spends the rest of the chapter trying to figure out if AJ's preggers.
well this may all possibly turn to shit
oh, yes indeed!
Don't, please don't do it. In the movie they were willing/unknowing. Don't do it with the bride and Groom, please
1689528AHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH! This made my night
1689042
5 double dollars.
Or, they spend all their money gambling and go into debt, and Matt is posessed by the Spirit of Jazz to repay the debts.
/\ $$10,000,000 on that one
*double dollars from Trigun
Oh Celestia i like where this is going *devious face*
Hmm... Both Cadence AND Shiny cant remember their Los Pegasus experience? That sounds.. ominous.
I wonder if the big bad bughive nopony can find would happen to have a popular tourist destination sitting on top...
Wether I'm right or wrong, this promises to be a lot of fun!
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/295/561/d99
Remember, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.
They are totally going to end up on the roof together!!!
am i the only one concerned that Pinkie pie has a shotgun?
like, seriously, i'm not the only one right?
Yeah, I think that we all know what's going to happen next!
"Matt! What are you doing with that stripper!"
"Applejack! What are you doing with that stripper?"
(In unison) "This isn't what it looks like!" (Pinkie takes the photo that is on the next front page of the papers in Ponyville)
1704077 It's Pinkie Pie. Questioning her leads to madness.
Huh why is this so familiar
1704077 I noticed that too! Where the hell did she get that from!?
I LOVE YOU MAN!
lol dam
HOW THE HELL DO THEY KNOW ABOUT GUNS?!!
4539743 Um Pinkie has got a cannon.
Que 'The Hangover'
Clever having them both go to Las Pegasus as well as that they both had the same thought about how they would get drunk then get stranded on a roof and that both of them demanded that they be taken home as well as having both Shining Armor and Cadence not remembering what happened the night of their own parties. Like I said very clever
This can only end well.
PLEAS STOP WITH THE GOD DAMN SECOND PERSON!!! i really like this story AND REALLY WANT TO FINISH IT but i can't if you keep ruining the immersion with the MOTHERFUCKING SECOND PERSON NARRATIVE
Omg pinkie
yes
Not you the one in the story
K by
1699653
Except for STIs.
Seriously, I lived in Las Vegas for 12 years. Always wrap your package, whether giving or receiving. That, and go to Nye county. 'Full service escorts' are illegal in Clark county (where Las Vegas is), but a short drive to the west, Bordellos are not only legal, but regulated and have frequent medical evaluations.
. . .
I just realized, I have been married three times, and never actually had a bachelor party. Of course I didn't really have any friends at any of the times, so I guess that explains it. Most of the bachelor parties I have seen though, tend to be more for the friends enjoyment, and much less for the Groom's enjoyment. Again, never was invited to one, but I worked on the Strip and Fremont Street as a balloon sculptor, so I saw plenty of parties go by. Made a LOT of dick hats with blue balls for the groom/bride-to-be too. Saw more than one guy chain pad-locked to a bowling ball as well.
. . . I miss Vegas, but once it went full corporate it lost a lot of the random fun, and it just wasn't the same.
Huh... I was expecting them to think Twilight and Matt was getting married and have a whole comedy of errors thing.
i swear if this was a movie scene i would be shitting my pants laughing
jesus christ pinkie