• Published 17th Oct 2012
  • 30,600 Views, 901 Comments

My New Life In Equestria - MaxBeezy



An ordinary human is transported to Equestria. Hilarity ensues. Sort of.

  • ...
120
 901
 30,600

Matt Fixes A House (With Help)

It’s a pleasant day in Ponyville. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and Matt is sitting on the roof a house, hammering at the top. It’s a curious sight indeed for the citizens of Ponyville, as they have seen him working tirelessly on this project of his for the past couple of months. Two particular ponies, Roseluck and Blossomforth, have passed by him on their routes to work, but only now have they begun to take an interest in his activities.

“This cannot be ignored any longer.” Blossomforth said, “Just what in the hay is he doing up there?”

“Looks to me like he’s repairing that house.” said Roseluck, rolling her eyes at her friend’s lateness to the party.

“I know that.” she glares, “But I thought he was living with Ms. Sparkle.”

“Well, obviously he wants to move out.”

“Isn’t that Derpy’s old place?”

“Didn’t you hear? Got herself a Stallion. Forgot his name, though, but he seemed nice. She's shacked up with him, and left this mess of a house. He bought this place a couple months ago; been working on it ever since.”

“All by himself?”

“Sure looks that way…”

Matt suddenly yelps in pain, grabbing his hand, and sucking on his thumb. He has unfortunately made contact with the hammer.

“Dammit!” he shouts, shaking his hand around to get rid of the pain.

Roseluck and Blossomforth look at each other with worry.

“Do you think he needs help?”

“I don’t know. He seems to be okay…”

“SHIT!” he cries out. The two ponies look over and see him slip off into a hole in the roof, smashing into the floor below, leading to the basement. The two wince at his fall, and subsequent smashing. Dirt billows out of the door, making its way into the two ponies' lungs, causing them to cough up a heck of a storm.

“It won’t hurt *cough* to ask though.” Roseluck nervously smiled.

Matt emerged from the front door, covered in dust and debris. He shakes his head around, foregoing any dirt in his frazzled hair. With a couple stretches, and bone pops, he seemed right as rain. As much as he could be, all things considered.

“Note to self…try not to fall again.” he said to himself.

“Excuse me?” Roseluck approached, snapping him out of his moment, “Are you alright?”

“Huh?” he pulls a small segment of debris from his ear. “Hey, Roseluck. How’s it going?” he smiles.

Matt had known her for a while now. Ever since making the decision to stay human, he made it a mission to get to know everypony in town. Roseluck was one of the first, when he came by to visit her in her flower shop one sunny morning. He asked what kind of flowers Applejack would like, and she recommended a bouquet of Gerber Daisies. Matt bought them without question, and presented them to her on their one month anniversary of being together. Applejack loved the flowers, so Matt always went to Roseluck, when it came time for gifts.

“I could ask you the same thing, Mr. Williams.” she points out all the dirt on his clothes.

“Oh this? It’s nothing. Just a…minor…work related…accident. So...” he changes the subject quickly, “Are you doing good? You too, Blossomforth? Everything alright?” His tone was slightly out of breath, trying to brush off the incident like it was a minor scuffle.

Roseluck and Blossomforth understandably looked at one another with concern.

“We’re fi-Do you need some help?” Blossomforth blurts out, unable to delay the inevitable question.

“Huh? I uh…” he looks back at the house. Staring at it for a good long while. The wheels in his head turning like a hamster in its ball. He turns back to the two ponies, anticipating the response. He glances down at the ground a few feet behind them. “Can you get me that hammer behind you?”

Roseluck looks at the open toolbox, spotting a big hammer sticking out of it. Not being a unicorn, she picks it up with her mouth, and gives it to Matt. He nods in thanks, and goes back towards the house, holding his back in pain.

“Anything else?” Roseluck inquires.

“No, thank you. By the way, I’m going to pay you a visit in a week or so.”

“What for?”

“It’s a surprise. If you see Applejack, don’t tell her anything. Thanks for the hammer.”

“You’re welcome.” she watches Matt disappear back into the house. After waiting a few more seconds, the two see him back on the roof, hammering away. A couple glances at one another later, and Roseluck and Blossomforth go on with their day. “I wouldn’t even know what to tell her.” she whispers, as they walk off.

Matt worked endlessly on that roof for a couple days, making sure there was no hole left unfilled, so there would be no more falling accidents. He acquired all the tools and materials through Big Macintosh, after telling him what he wanted to do. The red stallion was more than happy to hear of his friend’s intentions, and wanted to help in any way he can. The only thing Matt insisted on, was that he would do the work on his own, unless he absolutely needed the help.

That day was approaching more than he had anticipated.


The Great and Powerful Trixie, a blue pony with white hair, and the cutie mark of a wand, trotted along the road, dragging her traveling stage show, which also doubled as her dressing room and home, along with her. It’s been awhile since she passed by Ponyville, as her visits have led to less than favorable results. She had no desire to go into town, but had no other other choice but to walk on by.

One thing did catch her attention, the human looking intently at a newly built window. She recognized this human all too well. She only greatly injured him a few months ago.

“You…troll!” Trixie shouted, catching his attention. The moment Matt looked at her, he groaned in annoyance. There is clearly some history between the two. Painful history. Not the romantic kind of painful, but literally painful history.

“For the last time, Trixie. I’m not a troll…I’m a human. I thought you’d have figured that out by now.”

“Silence, troll! The Great and Powerful Trixie demands an answer as to why you are staring at the window of this garish house.”

“This ‘Garish House’ as you so call it, is where I intend to live.”

“It looks abominable!”

“It’s a fixer upper, I admit it. It’s not like I’m going to leave it like this. What are you doing here anyway?”

“Trixie is just passing through; she doesn’t plan on staying here long. Why are you staring so intently at that window?”

“I was…actually…” an idea clicks, “Now that you’re here…” He looks back at the window. “I could use a second opinion.”

“You need The Great and Powerful Trixie’s help with something?” she scoffs, “After what you did?”

“After what I did? You threw me into a tree!”

“You made fun of Trixie's hat!”

Matt flashed back to the day where he first encountered The Great and Powerful Trixie. She was performing a magic show in front of a crowd of easily excitable ponies in the town of Appaloosa, when he went to cheer on Applejack at the annual rodeo. He was called onto stage by Trixie, who repeatedly mistook him as a troll, despite his insistence that he was a human. She let loose with some impressive magic, proclaiming that her powers have doubled over the past year. While he was impressed by the magic on display, he had one thing to say.

“That’s a funny hat.”

He was instantly flung into a tree.

Matt rubbed his back as he remembered the past.

“It took Fluttershy five massages to fix that up.”

“Is Trixie supposed to know this Fluttershoo?”

“It’s Flutt…” he sighs, finding it pointless to correct her, “Look, can I just ask your opinion on something, then you can go?”

Trixie rolls her eyes. “Fine. But only because it will amuse Trixie. What is it?”

“How does this window look to you?”

She looks at the window, then back at Matt. She chuckles.

“It’s a well-made frame. But, you put it on wrong. It’s not level.”

“It isn’t?”

Using her magic, Trixie opens her mobile cottage, pulling out a spirit level from the back. She floats it over to the window sill, and sits it on top. Sure enough, the tool confirms that it isn’t level.

“See? Can Trixie leave now?”

“You keep that thing on you all the time?”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie’s home has a habit of being destroyed, Trixie needs it for rebuilding purposes.”

“You think I can borrow that for a bit? I’ll give it back when I’m done.” She glares at him, refusing to give him the tool. “Are you expecting your house to be destroyed any time soon?” She continues to glare at him. He shrugs. “Your hat is awesome, and not funny looking in the slightest.” She gives him the spirit level. “Thank you. You’re not as mean as the other ponies say you are, you know.”

“You break that thing, and Trixie will throw you into ten trees!” She growls with an attempt at intimidation. With a huff, and a flip of her hair, she trots off, leaving a grinning Matt behind to continue working.

By the end of the second day, she returned for her spirit level, and he gave it back with no complications. As thanks for making sure not to break it, Trixie gave him a light tap on the head with a branch. At least it wasn’t a whole tree.


Of the two individuals of the infamous Pony on Human tabloid article, Lyra Heartstrings suffered most from the fallout. She had been touting the existence of humans for years, much to the annoyance of her friends, especially her roommate Bon Bon. She would defiantly shout that they will all be sorry when one would eventually be discovered. When Matt finally arrived, she got excited, but also a little too excited. Her spontaneous make out session with the human, made her known to most of the community as a “Human Fiddler”, which caused her to be made fun of for her actions. Nowadays, things have gone relatively back to normal, especially since that it had been determined by Princess Celestia that Matt’s relationship with Applejack is not illegal, considering Hippogriffs, a byproduct of inter-species relationships, exist in the world.

Even so, that little bit of tarnished history put a bit of a gloom on the poor unicorn, making her less cheery and bouncy as she once was. She always wanted to seek out Matt, apologize for what she did, and may start anew as friends, but she was certain that he wouldn’t want to talk to her, or even look at her.

“GAH! DAMMIT!” She hears a familiar voice shout out, during her walk outside Ponyville.

Lyra galloped over to the source of the noise, encountering a half-finished house not too far away from the town. She recognized it as Derpy’s old place, but it seems like somepony had purchased it, and is now renovating it. On closer inspection, it’s actually someBODY that is renovating it. Matt was in the middle of painting the top wall of the house, when the ladder, a rickety old thing, broke, causing him to fall, and paint splattering on his pants. Being a red color, now his pants look like he has murdered someone.

“Matt! Are you okay?” Lyra calls to him, against her better judgment.

Matt gets up from his little situation, and looks to see Lyra. He is surprised to see her, but not unwelcoming either.

“Lyra?” he says, “Is that you?”

The Unicorn walks over to him, cautiously, still anticipating his reaction to be unpleasant.

“Hey…” she quietly says, “Long time, no see.”

“I’ll say.” he smirks, “It’s good to see you.”

“Really? Since when?”

“Word on the street said that you wanted to talk to me. Though that was a couple months ago, so I thought you changed your mind.”

“No, I did. I just wasn’t sure how you would feel about it.”

“Did you think that I didn’t want to talk to you?”

“Well, I did jump you…and straddled you…and made out with you…I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t.”

“To be fair, if Twilight and Spike didn’t show up, I probably would've have allowed you to do a lot more than that.” Matt chuckled.

He was too right. When Lyra was busy shoving her tongue down his throat, he began to enjoy the sensation, never experiencing anything quite like that during his time in his own world. If they weren’t interrupted, they probably would have done the deed right then and there.

“I suppose you have a point.” Lyra giggled, “So, how are you and Applejack? I hear that you two are together, now.”

“Couldn’t be better.” Matt smile, “Been together for a few months now. Probably the happiest I’ve been.” He pauses, looking at Lyra with concern. “Oh, you’re not here to tell me that you’ve had a crush on me for a while now, and I just ruined your chance of telling me, are you?”

“No, I…what? That’s oddly specific.” she chortles, “Have some experience with that, do you?”

“You could say that....” Matt says, “But that’s a whole nother story all together.”

The business he had with Twilight is all in the past now. Keeping to her word, she had no told anypony about what he had to do to bring her back into the hooves of all her friends. In fact, when he would hint at the tension between each other, more often than not in a joking manner, she would assure him that everything she felt is all gone, much to his absolute relief.

Nowadays, she began dating Big Macintosh, and they have been going steady for the past few weeks.

“I’m actually here, because I heard you scream, while I was walking down the road. You got red on you.” She points out the massive amount of red paint on his pants. He sighs in annoyance.

“Right. I was painting the side of the house, when the ladder broke. Good thing I brought a few extra buckets.”

“You know…” Lyra looks closer at the house, “It kind of looks like a barn. Even more so, since you’re painting it red.”

Matt looks. Sure enough, it certainly does.

“You’re right.” he smiles, “I guess my time with the Apples left its mark on me, huh?”

“Do you…” Lyra thinks, “Would you like some help painting? Since the ladder is broken, I can use my magic to paint the tops.”

Matt walks to the toolbox to find an extra paintbrush, to his surprise, one is there. He hands the brush over to Lyra, letting her help him paint the sides of the house. She is happy at this new development. To Matt, he never saw Lyra as an unlikable pony, far from it. Sure, she was a little…grabby on their first meeting, but he didn’t completely hold it against her. She ended up being a fantastic help on the house. Painting as much as she could, before she was tired from using so much of the levitation spell. When evening fell, it was time to call it a day. The two looked at their hard work with pride.

“Sorry that I couldn’t help paint the rest of it.”

“I understand. Unicorn magic looks really tough.”

“It certainly is.” she smirks.

“You got red on you, by the way.” Matt points at the red spots on her coat. She laughs it off.

“Hey, Matt. I was wondering…you want to be friends?”

“I don’t know. Think you’ll be able to keep your hooves to yourself?”

“Believe me; I’m not going down that road again. Especially not with Applejack as your marefriend. She can kick me into the stratosphere.”

“No doubt about that.” They laugh at the thought. “Yes…we can be friends, Lyra.”

She floats the paintbrush over to him, which he takes. The two wish each other a goodnight, before parting ways. The beginning of a friendship.


As the week went on, more and more ponies came by, as Matt would find himself in situations that would grab their undivided attentions, asking him what he was up to, him explaining himself, and the pony asking if he needed any help. Very rarely did Matt say no to their generosity. Though he once said that he wanted to do the work by himself, he couldn’t help but end up needing the extra assistance. Repairing a house all by himself was much harder than he initially thought, and he was grateful for the help that he was receiving.

Twilight would come by to help him paint the rest of the house, Rarity would come by to repair the tears in his clothes that he sustained during mishaps, Rainbow Dash would come by to help put things on the roof, while Fluttershy would supply him with her world famous massages to straighten out his back. Even the Cutie Mark Crusaders came by to clean the house alongside him. They would run into vicious mice, and big black widows, making them run out of the house screaming bloody murder. Yes…even Matt. Eventually, they would go back in and get rid of the vermin, and congratulate one another afterwards.

Pinkie Pie came by to give him cupcakes…lots and lots of cupcakes. The sugar she would pack in those things gave him a massive rush, to the point where he worked on the house all night one time.

Then, he crashed hard the next day, and slept in the middle of the floor.

The only pony who never came by was Applejack, and that was under specific orders from Matt to everypony. It wasn’t all work and no play for him; he would come by and visit Applejack at the farm. Though she would mention about how distant he had become during the last few weeks, he continued to tell her that it was a surprise, and that once it’s over, everything will go back to normal. Every time he came by, he was always bruised, tired and sore. Applejack knew not to ask, as she was confident he would tell her soon.

Soon, the day finally came when the house was done. It was a big improvement over the condition it was in, when Derpy left it. She didn’t leave much behind, save for her bed frame. It looked sturdy enough, with a couple extra turns of the screws to put it in tip top shape. He then bought a mattress to complete it. The one thing that was taken, that was of interest, was the oven.

“I guess she was attached to that thing.” Matt thought to himself, “Suppose I’ll have to buy a new one, then.”

The place was ready to be seen. There was only one pony who’s opinion truly mattered to him, and she hadn’t even been aware of this project from the get go.


He arrived at the doorstep of Sweet Apple Acres one late afternoon. Applejack answered the door, and she was glad to see him. Cryptically, he handed her a piece of paper, detailing the address of where to meet him.

“But…this is Derpy’s old address.” she said, “Why do ya want to meet there?”

“Trust me. It’s a surprise.” he grinned, stepping off the porch, and began his walk back. “Eight O’clock…don’t be late.” He waved.

Applejack arrived at the house that night right on time. She wondered why exactly he wanted to meet up at Derpy’s old place. The moment she laid eyes on the house however, it seemed to click for her in seconds. She knocked on the door, and Matt immediately opened the door to her wide eyed face.

“Welcome.” he said with a smile.

“Matt…did you…you live here?”

“I do now. Come in.” He lets her inside to look at all the work that had been done.

“This…this is amazin!” she marveled, “This is what ya been doin for the past couple months?”

“Yeah. I wanted to keep it a secret, until now. From the look on your face, it seemed everypony kept their word.”

“Everypony? They all knew about this except for me?!” She thinks about all the time she spent with them the past few weeks, and none giving her a remote hint as to what Matt was doing. “They really do hide it well.”

“It wasn’t easy getting the house in tip top shape. Got the bumps and bruises to prove it.”

“That’s why I keep seeing you hurt.” she understands, “This reason is definitely a lot better than my old theory.”

“Fight club?” he asks.

“Fight club.” she nods with a chuckle.

“Everypony in one way or another, started to chip in with some work. I wouldn’t have gotten this house done in time, if it wasn’t for them. I probably would have been fighting off giant rats in the basement still.”

“What?”

“It’s a long story. You can ask Applebloom about it. Follow me.” He leads her to the kitchen. Inside is a table stacked with fruit and bowls of salad. “I don’t have an oven yet, so I couldn’t make anything extravagant. But, I wanted to do something for our first meal in the house.”

Applejack didn’t care. She gladly sat down at the table, and they proceeded to eat the food off the table. Though simple, the meal was undoubtedly delicious, filling them up fast.

“That was mighty tasty.” Applejack said.

“Not quite done yet.”

“Dessert?”

“Not exactly. Wait a moment.” he stands up, and walks out from her sight. She sits tight, wondering what he’s going to bring out next. Matt soon arrives, holding a bouquet of Gerber Daisies.

“Is it our anniversary already?”

“No. I just noticed that the daisies I gave you were a bit wilted, so here are some new ones.”

“Oh, thanks. They smell nice, as usual.” she watches Matt put the daisies down on the table, as he looks down on the floor, nervous. “What’s the matter?”

“I uhh…” he stutters, “T-there’s no real easy way to ask this, so…I’m going to go ahead and ask.” He gets down on one knee. Applejack’s heart suddenly pumps extremely fast, to the point where she might just hyperventilate. Matt puts a hand on her foreleg. “Applejack…the past four months that we've officially been together, have been amazing. I count myself lucky to have a mare like you. So…I was wondering…” He reaches into his pocket…and pulls out a key. “If you would like to move in with me?”

A few thoughts went through Applejack’s mind at that moment. One of which was disappointment. She thought for sure that he was going to ask her to marry him.

“Perhaps he’s not ready to take that step yet.” she thought, “Still, the prospect of living together does sound rather nice.”

She realizes that she had been relatively quiet for more than a minute.

“Oh, I’m sorry…” she speaks, “Yes…yes of course. That would be nice.” she smiles.

“Great.” he said, “I was getting a little worried there.” He puts the key in a little slip on her hat. “Also, I got this for you.” He pulls out a golden band, with a ruby in the shape of an apple at the top of it. Applejack's eyes look like they were going to pop out of her head in that moment. “I had this made for you about a week ago.” he puts it around her right foreleg, “I hope I got your foreleg measurement right. I don’t think I’m as accurate as Rarity.”

Applejack raises her foreleg to get a closer look. She looks back and forth at the band, and at Matt, not sure if he is fully understanding what he is doing.

“Does it fit?” he asks.

“M-Matt…this…this is a wedding band…this is what you use to propose to ponies.”

“I know. I was wondering if you wanted to marry me, as well.” he says like it was nothing.

“D-Did ya just casually propose?” she cocks an eyebrow.

“Yeah. I thought this was going to be the hard part, but…I don’t know…did I mess it up? I did, didn’t I? I’m sorry…let me try again…”

He doesn’t get the chance to try again, as Applejack tackles him to the floor, delivering flurry of passionate kisses, all the while shouting “Yes! Yes! I will! Ah will so marry you!”

“Great!” he says in between kisses, “You want a small wedding, or a big one?”

“Small one…ah don’t need all of Equestria to be there!”

“And the cake? You want to make it, or Pinkie Pie?”

“We don’t need to choose! We can both do it!”

“Okay…what about…”

“Matt…we can talk about this later. I just want to kiss you!”

“Okay.” They go back to kissing. Suddenly, Applejack throws him onto her back. “Woah! What’s going on?”

“Where’s the bedroom?” she demands, looking around for directions.

“First door on the hallway to the right.”

“Good. We’re going to make sure the bed is soft enough.” she stomps along the floor with unshakable determination.

“That’s funny. I was going to ask if you wanted that job.” he laughs.

“I’m taking you to bed, human. I’m about to make you super happy!”

“I’m already super happy!”

They laugh as they go into the bedroom, and onto the bed. Another long night awaits them.