• Published 17th Oct 2012
  • 30,596 Views, 901 Comments

My New Life In Equestria - MaxBeezy



An ordinary human is transported to Equestria. Hilarity ensues. Sort of.

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Nice Day For A Wedding

It’s a beautiful and warm Sunday afternoon. The sun shines on Sweet Apple Acres, and the guests have already arrived. Everypony gathers in the barn, which has been redecorated on the inside to look like a church. The hole on the ceiling, caused by the careening body of Matt, has been repaired, and painted over; it almost looks it had never happened at all. The minister waits at the far end, watching the guests gather inside, taking their seats for the event to come.

Today is a perfect day for a wedding.

Matt nervously paces behind the barn; Spike, Big Macintosh, Shining Armor, Donut Joe, Trixie, and new addition Lyra, stand in front of him, watching his erratic movements. Matt is wearing a repaired version of his suit, with no more rips and tears on them. The others wear a simpler, black version, but nonetheless stylish. Even Lyra and Trixie wear the suits, finding the fabric comfortable.

Matt has been waiting for this day for a while now, and deep down, he couldn’t be happier than he is at this moment, yet he is not immune to the standard pre-wedding jitters.

“Applejack…with this ring…no no no…” he whispers, “Applejack…for the longest time…no…that’s not it either.”

“You don’t have to memorize the vows.” Lyra says, “She won’t think less of you if you read it on the page.”

“Yeah, but I want to remember it.” he paces further, “What if I screw up? What if I say the wrong thing?” he turns to Shining Armor. “Were you like this on your wedding day?”

“I was under the control of Queen Chrysalis on my wedding day.”

“I mean after that.”

“No. I was fine.”

“Thanks, you’re a big help.” Matt says with sarcasm.

“Why did you even invite Chrysalis to the wedding, anyway?” Spike queries.

“She’s a friend. Plus, with her and Celestia together, it would be a bit jerk-ish of us to not invite her.”

“You really made some strange friends during your time here, didn’t you?” Trixie wonders.

“I know. I also made friends with a magician stripper.” Matt winks at her, making her giggle.

“Okay, I’ll give you that.” Trixie sees his point.

The Minister emerges from the back door of the barn, looking at Matt.

“It’s time.” he says.

“Oh…shit.” Matt tries to compose himself, straightening his tie, slicking his hair back. He turns to his friends. “How do I look?”

“Like a nervous wreck.” Donut Joe answers.

“Apart from that.”

“Like a REALLY nervous wreck.” Big Macintosh doesn’t help matters.

“Okay, frak it. Let’s do this.”

On the opposite end, standing in front of the barn/church, is Applejack, her friends, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders as flower fillies. The bridesmaids wore beautiful white silk dresses, while Applejack wears a refined version of her previous wedding gown. White cowpony boots, a southern style dress with strands of leather hanging off it, and her cowpony hat, with a veil on the top.

Like Matt, she paces around, nervous as a foal on their first day of school…maybe more nervous than that too. Her teeth chatter like she is cold, when there isn’t much cold to be had on that day. Her friends watch her with concern, as she tries to remember her vows.

“Matt…these last few months…no no no….” she whispers to herself, “Matt…all this time…no no no…that’s not it either.”

“You don’t have to memorize your vows, darling.” Rarity assures her, “He won’t think less of you, if you read it from a paper.”

“Yeah, but ah want to remember it.” she looks at Cadance, “Were you like this…” She remembers asking Cadance that very question the first time. Before the Princess opens her mouth…”Nevermind, I asked you that before.” she puts her forehead against the barn door. “Sweet Celestia, I’m nervous.”

The others gather around her, each placing a caring hoof on her back. She looks at their smiling faces, letting her know that everything was going to be alright.

"Don't worry, Applejack." Twilight tries to reassure her, "He's going to be there for you, no matter what."

"Yeah!" Rainbow Dash says with brashness, "You're going to knock it right out of the park!"

"Ya think so?"

"We know so!" screamed Pinkie.

Applejack looks at them, and returns their smiles with her own. The others step back, watching her becoming more and more ready for the wedding.

“How do ah look?” Applejack asks.

“You look ready.” Twilight confirms.

“Okay. Let’s do this.”


The stage is set. Matt waits at the altar, his groomscolts, along with Lyra and Trixie, stand at his side; Trixie continues giving Shining Armor the bedroom eyes, making him sweat just a little bit. She still hasn’t forgotten their night together with Cadance back in Las Pegasus, and neither has he. Wedding music plays from a record from a DJ Pony named Vinyl Scratch. She is obviously bored out of her mind, waiting to put on some real music. Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Queen Chrysalis stand off to the sides. Their height proving an inconvenience to others, if they sat in the aisles.

Soon, the barn doors open, the Cutie Mark Crusaders bouncing in, tossing flower petals along the walkway, the older ponies awing at their cuteness. Then, the bridesmaids come in, giving everypony the best smiles, as they walk toward the altar, standing at their respective positions. Pinkie gives Matt an enthusiastic wave, to which he waves back, equally as excited.

The ponies stand from their seats. The music changes to the classic music one would hear when the bride walks down the aisle. The doors open again, revealing Applejack. He marvels at her stunning dress. Briefly, he looks to Rarity, giving her a quick thumbs up, which she replies with a chuckle. Applejack adjusts her hat in a quick motion, before slowly walking down, towards her glowing husband. One couldn’t take the smile off his face if they tried. She looks at him every step of the way; the mere thought of finally getting married brings tears to her eyes.

She makes it. No mishaps, no tripping, no nothing. She stands before him, looking up into his loving eyes, as the music comes to an end.

“You look beautiful.” he whispers to her. She beams with a blush gracing her cheeks. The two look to the Priest for his opening words.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, in the sight of Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Princess Cadance, Queen Chrysalis, along with friends and relatives, to witness the union of this man, and this mare, to live together in holy matrimony.” He looks at Matt, “Mr. Williams, I believe both you and Applejack have written your own vows?”

Matt nods, “Yes.”

“Would you like to go first?”

“Yeah, sure.”

He reaches into his pocket…but stops. He looks at Applejack, the vows pouring into his head, like he never forgotten them in the first place. He kneels down before her, staring at her at eye level. He takes her hoof, holding it in his hand gently.

“Applejack. The first time I met you, I thought of one thing. ‘Ouch. That kick to the face really hurt.’” She laughs, so does the crowd. “But then, came that night when you cheered me up. You were so kind, understanding, and I got to know you just a little bit more. When I found myself in this strange, unfamiliar world, one of my first thoughts, was to come by and see you. Again, I found myself being injured.” More laughs from the crowd and Applejack. “But, that didn’t stop me from wanting to keep on visiting you. Over time, you became my best friend; we hung out every other day, and I adored your company. Then…the day came when I realized…I was in love with you.” Tears well up in his eyes. “You told me once, that you never thought of yourself as special; I’m here to tell you that you’re wrong.” he says with a tearful grin, “You are special to me. Every day I spent with you, has been one happy memory after another. I was, and still am, willing to do anything and everything to keep that wonderful smile on your face. A week ago, I was even willing to give my very life, so that you may live another day longer. You know what has changed in the last few days? Nothing.” A tear goes down Applejack’s cheek. “There is nobody, and nopony, I would rather spend the rest of my life with…than you.”

The guests give out an “Awwww….” At his vows. Applejack is speechless, tears rolling down her cheeks. She wipes them off, laughing.

“Aw, how am I supposed to follow that?” she asks, the others chuckled in amusement. “I’ll give it mah best shot, then.”

She inhales and exhales, preparing herself.

“Matt. You told me when it was that you fell in love with me, but did I ever tell you when it was, when I fell in love with you?” Matt shakes his head. “It wasn’t the night at the hoedown, it wasn’t when you saved my life on the dock, and it wasn’t even when you came with me to the rodeo, cheering me on. It was…the first time you came to the farm.” Matt looks at her, surprised. “You were so nervous, jittery as a junebug, but also sad. Seeing you smile when I cheered you up, made me feel warm inside. Not only that…but I saw a lot of myself in you. Happy, but also unsure about yourself, always wanting to prove your worth, not to mention stubborn as a mule.” Matt chuckles. “I wanted to keep seeing you; that’s why I gave you the job. As time went on, and you would come down to see me, even though there was no work to be done, I knew…I wanted to be with you. You were always there to make me feel like I was the most important pony, and though it took the both of us a long time to admit our feelings to one another, the day we finally did…I wouldn’t trade it for anything in Equestria.” she puts a hoof on his cheek, caressing him with much love. “Falling in love with you…was the best decision I have ever made, and I am proud to be marrying you.”

Tears flow out of Matt’s eyes, his smile never leaving. The others around them cry their eyes out, especially Pinkie Pie, who was particularly loud.

“Do you have the rings?” the Minister asks.

Spike walks up to them, holding a pillow, carrying a ring for Matt, and a bracelet for Applejack. Matt takes the bracelet, slipping it onto Applejack’s hoof easily. The ring, was harder than they thought. She couldn’t get a good angle on it with her hoof, so she put it in her mouth, clutching the ring with her teeth, allowing Matt to put his finger into the ring. Once it was on, the two laughed at the situation.

“Matthew Williams…” the Minister continued, “Do you take Applejack as you lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do you part?”

“I do.”

“And do you Applejack, take Matthew…”

“Oh, you know ah do!” Applejack interrupts, much to the amusement of everypony.

“Then by the power vested in my, in the town of Ponyville, that I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss…” They don’t let him finish, flying into each other for a passionate kiss. “…The bride.” He says with a smirk.

Vinyl plays a record playing the climactic wedding music one would hear at the end of the ceremony, as everypony stomps their hooves in applause. Pinkie runs up to her, whispering in her ear, After a couple moments, Vinyl rips the record out, and puts in one of her own.

Suddenly, the speakers in the barn explode with catchy techno pop, and the aisles transform into a dance floor. Pinkie comes rushing in with a rolling table packed with drinks and food.

“Enough of the ceremony…IT’S TIME TO PAAAARRRRTTTTTAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!” she shouts.

Matt and Applejack laugh, as they watch the others crowd onto the dance floor, busting moves like there’s no tomorrow. The newly wedded couple joins in on the festivities, with Matt using the moves Applejack taught him that night at the hoedown. The crowd cheers the two of them on, as they tear up the floor with their electric energy. Pretty soon, the rest started dancing, even Queen Chrysalis had a move or two to impress, the holes in her hooves making an entertaining whooshing noise at every spin and fast motion.

Vinyl Scratch is happy to be the DJ she always was, pumping out beat after beat of loud, dance floor destroying music. It was overwhelming…but in a good and satisfying way.


After a few songs, Matt began to tire, but the others were more than game. He broke away from the crowd, giving his wife a peck on the cheek, before heading to the Cider table. He grabs a mug of hard cider, downing it quickly, like it was the last drink he would ever have. The taste of apple cider with a hint of rum, swirled through his mouth and down his throat. It was the first time he ever had any of the hard stuff.

“Wow, this ain’t bad.” he grabs another mug, drinking it rapidly. He sits down at a nearby table, watching his wife dance the night away. The gravity of the situation, of what he just did, hit him hard, and a smile graces his lips.

He had done it. He had married Applejack.

“Enjoying that cider?” Matt turns his head to see Twilight sitting down next to him, sweating from the dancing.

“Yeah. I never tried the alcoholic stuff before. It’s not bad.”

“Don’t drink too much. Have to stay conscious for the wedding night.”

“Believe me…” he takes another gulp, “I know.” Twilight chortles. “What are you doing here, anyway? You should be out there, dancing.”

“So should you.”

“A human like me has his limits. Four songs, and I’m a sweating mess. Once the slower stuff comes on, I’ll be good to go.”

Twilight watches him, as he looks back at Applejack. She looks at the beautiful bride, marveling just how happy she looks.

“It’s been a long time, since I’ve seen her this happy.” she comments, “You’re a lucky guy.”

“I feel lucky.” he turns back to her, “So, when are you and Big Mac going to tie the knot?”

“Not sure.” she replies, “We haven’t talked about it much, but it’s on the table.”

“I’m happy for you.” he says, “You found somepony to sweep you off your hooves.”

“It wasn’t easy. It took a crush on you to do it.” They both chuckle. Matt thinks about those days; what he had to do to bring Twilight back to her friends. He wasn’t proud of it, but the result lead to good things for his good friend.

“Twilight…” Matt’s face gets serious, “I am sorry about that.”

“Don’t worry about it. Everything turned out alright, in the end.” she grins, “You have nothing to be ashamed of.” She taps him on the shoulder, giving him a friendly poke. “Hey, now is not the time to be thinking about this stuff. You’re married, you should enjoy it.”

“Oh, I’m definitely enjoying it. There’s no doubt about that.”

Twilight smirks, seeing her friend happily continue to look upon his wife with all the love in the world reverberating from his eyes. She looks over at the table, full of wedding gifts…but one is from her. Using her magic, she levitates it over to them, putting it on the table. The thunk the present gives off catches his attention.

“What’s this?”

“I wanted to give this to you now.”

“Twilight…that’s very nice, but…”

“Go on. Open it.”

Matt puts his mug down. He unwraps the bow, and opens up the paper. Underneath the wrapping, is a book; a rather large book called…

“The Unknown Mysteries of Equestria Revealed. By Twilight Sparkle.” Matt’s eyes light up, he looks over at her. “You finished it!”

“Actually…read a little bit further.”

Matt pulls down the rest of the paper. On tiny print, underneath the title, it reads…

“Volume One.” Matt laughs, “That figures.”

“You have the very first published copy. The rest will be shipped out to bookstores across Equestria.”

“A first edition? Nice. This is great, Twi. An Element of Harmony, a hero of Equestria, and a Published author! Are you going to sprout wings, and become the next Princess?”

“That will be the day.” she snickers, “Just so you know, chapter twenty is all about you and your species. I decided to keep some of the more embellished segments of the story you told me, in there.”

“I’m sure it will be quite the read.” He starts to open it, but she puts a hoof on the cover.

“Wait.” she stops him, “Don’t…read it just yet.”

“Why not?”

“I’d rather you wait…until the time comes.”

“That’s awful cryptic of you. Been hanging out with Princess Celestia lately?”

“Not since she and Chrysalis started doing things together. But, I do admit her more vague and mysterious side has been rubbing off on me.”

The fast paced techno beat stops. Almost with reluctance, Vinyl puts in a record with an especially slow dance song in it. The crowd separates, forming a large circle around Applejack, as she waits for her husband. Matt leaves the book on the table, fixes his tie, gives Twilight a nod, and walks into the circle.

He goes to Applejack, leaning down, and lifting her up to his level. The boots she wore on her forelegs fall to the floor, as she puts her hooves around his neck, and he places his hands on her waist.

“Ready?” he asks her.

“Always.”

The two sway side to side. The other stomp their hooves in applause at the two. They then join in on the floor; getting into couples, and doing their variation of the slow dance. Matt and Applejack continue to look into each other’s eyes.

“So…” Applejack talks, “What were you and Twi talkin’ about ?”

“It appears that our intrepid librarian is now a published author.”

“Really? That’s amazin’.”

“I know. She told me not to read the book though. Something about waiting for the time to be right. Very strange.”

“That is strange.”

“Enough about that. I want to know, is where you would like to go for the Honeymoon? Saddle Arabia? New Zebraland? I heard they shot Lord of The Elements there.”

“That sounds mighty temptin’, but I have one place already in mind.”

“Name it.”

“Our house.”

Matt cracks up, shaking his head.

“Are you sure? I really would like to see the world.”

“And we will.” she caresses the back of his neck. “Right now, I just want to spend the night with you. In our own bed, and with nopony to interrupt us.”

“You have no idea how I would like to plow through these ponies to get to our house, and do just that. But they are our friends.”

“You’re right about that.” she grins, “Best be patient. This IS a beautiful reception.”

“Only Pinkie Pie can turn a church into a dance floor in the blink of an eye.” He smirks. He thinks about her vows, and he wonders…“AJ?”

“Yeah?”

“Is what you said true?”

“What?”

“That you fell for me when I first came to the farm?”

“Every word.”

“What was it? It certainly wasn’t me getting tackled and trampled by Big Mac and the others, or me falling on my face, after trying to applebuck.”

“It was what you said afterwards.”

“What do you mean?”

“You said to me ‘Don’t use your fancy semantics to muddle the issue.’, when I laughed at you falling.”

“That was it?”

“Eeeyup.”

“Why?”

“It…reminded me of what I said, one time. Like I told you, I saw a lot of myself in you.”

“You know, I have to say, you really hid that crush well.”

“That’s surprising.”

“How come?”

“Because, I’m a terrible liar.”

Matt shakes his head with a chortle, “I must admit…you handled your crush a lot better than I did.”

“And don’t you forget it.”

The two laugh. He leans in, giving her a small peck on the lips.

Once the dance had ended, the guests moved to their tables for the dinner. Applejack, Matt, and their friends sat next to each other at the longest table in the front. While the rest were seated at their specifically assigned tables. The two Princesses and Queen got their own tables, so did various members of the Apple family, and there were a lot of those.

The meals were sandwiches, salads, and who could forget the apple pie, and assorted cakes? To top it all off, juice was given to the fillies and colts, while hard cider and wine were given to everypony else. It was a feast for everypony’s taste buds.

As everypony has settled into their seats, eating their selected food, Twilight stands from her seat, dinging the glass with a magically floating fork. Everypony was silent, and looked to her.

“I would like to make a toast, to the happy couple.” She raises her glass, “…and to tell a little story about my experience with them.”

“OOOOHHHH!!! OHHH!!!” Pinkie raises her hoof up. “Me too! Me too!”

“Okay, Pinkie. You can help.”

“Can I join too?” Rarity asks.

“Sure.”

“And me?” asks Rainbow Dash, “Fluttershy would like to join too.” Rainbow Dash looks at Fluttershy, who whimpers, but nods.

“I guess…”

“Don’t forget about Trixie!”

“And me!” yelled Lyra.

“Fine.” Twilight says, annoyed. “But let’s keep things organized.” She clears her throat. “When I first met Matt, I didn’t know what to think of him…”

“I thought he looked nice!” Pinkie interjected, “And REALLLYYY TALLLLL!!!”

“Thanks, Pinkie…”

“I thought he looked funny.” said Rainbow Dash.

“Yes…well…though he was a bit clumsy, and had a tendency to get hurt…”

“Like when Big Mac rammed him like a speeding train.” said Applejack.

“Or when I accidentally dropped a satellite dish on his head…” Fluttershy timidly whispered.

“Don’t forget the time I threw him into a tree.” Trixie said, everypony looked at her. “What? He didn’t tell you that story?”

“He told me.” smiled Applejack with a wink. Trixie winked back.

“Yes….anyway…” Twilight continued, “Over time, he became a valuable friend, and subject to my studies. But, I never thought that he would ever find himself in the hooves of a pony.”

“Until I came along, and made out with him.” Lyra joked, creating uproarious laughter. She wasn’t afraid of making fun of herself. “Seriously Matt, I’m sorry about that.”

“That’s okay, Lyra.” Matt nodded to her.

“But..” Twilight gets to finish her thought, “I couldn’t think of anypony out there more suited to be his very special somepony, than Applejack.

“Yay.” Fluttershy silently said. Those who heard her responded with a hearty chuckle, followed by an applause of hooves.

“Applejack…” Twilight looks to her dear friend, “You are a strong, tough, funny, and loyal mare, who deserves all the happiness in the world.” Applejack tears up, “Watching you here and now…”

“Wearing the perfect wedding dress. Which I made of course.” Rarity interrupted. Twilight shakes her head with a smile before continuing.

“Yes, wearing a beautiful dress, and sitting with your true love, I say, without any shred of doubt, that you are the luckiest mare in all of Equestria. Matt…” She look into his eyes with a grin, “You take care of her, now. She’s one in a million.”

“No…she’s the ONLY one…” he raises his glass, while the others ‘awwww’ in response. “…and, I will.”

“Too Matt and Applejack.” Twilight raises her glass in the air.

“TOO MATT AND APPLEJACK!” The rest call out, clanging their glasses together in celebration, before taking a big swig of their drinks.


It is now the middle of the night. Matt carries Applejack all the way back to their house, the party back at the farm is still going strong, with the music being heard blaring from far away. However, these two have other plans; plans that involve them being alone together. Matt opens the door, as Applejack laughs in his arms, both are tipsy from the cider drinking, but nowhere near as drunk as they could be.

Using a free foot, he kicks shut the door, and rests his back on it, catching his breath.

“Ya need any rest there, sugarcube?” she asks him. “You were runnin’ to get here.”

“Rest? Me? Never.” he says with determination. He carries her all the way up the stairs, and into the bedroom. With a final push of his strength, he throws her onto the bed, as she lets out a surprised yelp, followed by a giggle.

In a rush, she pulls off her wedding dress, and he removes his jacket, tie, and shoes. They both stare at eachother, ready for the moments that are to come. He climbs into bed with her, moving to her side, placing a hand on her waist, gently caressing it. The lean in for a nice kiss.

“So, how does it feel to be married to a pony?” she wonders.

“It feels great. How does it feel being married to a human?”

“Like I’m on top of the world.”

They go in for another kiss, this time, more passion is put into it. They’ve done this song and dance many times, but even after all of it, they still have not tired of each other, nor will they ever tire of each other. He moves on top of her, as she holds him close to her.

“I love you, Applejack Apple.” he smirks.

“And ah love you, Matthew Williams Apple.”

“You see? Adding your last name to mine really IS not that silly.”

“And it better stay that way, too.”

“You have my word.”

“Good. Now come here you.” She brings him down for another night of love and passion. For the time being, their first night as husband and wife, was the best night of their lives.