The Next Day (written by The Storyteller). (Canon?)
The next day...
>knock knock<
Grumbling, Carrot Top stumbled out of bed and staggered to her front door. Shen opened it to find a smiling pegasus looking up at her. "Derpy? It's five in the morning...what are you doing here?"
Derpy's grin grew even broader as she held a plate of muffins out to her. "I just couldn't wait another minute to try one of your carrot cake muffins, so I brought you these to trade!"
Carrot Top stared at the muffins, then gazed at her with a flat expression. "These all have bites taken out of them..."
Derpy's face flushed. "Heh heh...like I said, I couldn't wait!"
"..."
"..."
"So! Can I have one?!"
The door slammed as Carrot Top went back to bed.
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11901908
Love this ending idea, great way to bring it full circle.
11901949
No worries! More than happy to offer feedback and ideas. It's exciting to see more people pick up the parchment and quill.
P.P.S. Now that you mention it, I guess my first story Opposites is a Rarity focused one, with Derpy as a secondary character.
Funny.
I like to prank call people in Turkmenistan and Chad and all the obscure countries lel
11906866
Y'know, plenty of people would be annoyed, but I approve of this. Especially since I'm fond of geography myself. And thanks for the like, I assume?
11906875
Yep I gave you a like. Isn’t it amazing how few people know anything about geography though? Yeah I’m a geography enthusiast lol.
11906884
And how the heck did I already get another like, because you were eleven, and now I'm at twelve. That's crazy.
I've spent many an hour just looking at Google Maps.
11906890
How weird! And so do I! I use google maps on my iPhone every day to look at random shit around the world lol. Like I said, sometimes I actually call random hotels and businesses in other countries around the world and have conversations with random people so I can understand their country’s culture better lmao.
11906892
Nice. Well, it's bed for me.
Hope Buck sees what I did.
11906895
Does Buck like me?
11906898
I honestly have no idea.
11906899
But do you like me?
11906900
Sure, from the like less than five hours I've known you, sure.
(I'm actually heading to bed now. G'night.)
11906902
Fair enough. Goodnight good sir.
I first read this story before the second chapter was published. I don't know why I never left a comment.
This is a very nice little story! Love the interaction between Carrot Top and Derpy. I also like that your Hayfries are made from potatoes instead of hay. (Seriously, why do some authors think they're made from hay?)
I can totally see this being set in the world of those comics, with the cardboard cut-outs of Derpy and the muffin.
camo.fimfiction.net/832kL5cxBC4eKB6wpXq5yNTRP3dE3wz5nSoibUMeXvc?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.kym-cdn.com%2Fphotos%2Fimages%2Foriginal%2F000%2F692%2F606%2Fec5.png
11923284
Thank you very much for commenting, and I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Yes, without those comics, this story would not exist.
If you're patient (as I mostly just read), in the future I might try to rewrite this, as somebody gave me a lot of good suggestions for improvements.
11923284
And the second chapter was not written by me, it was written by the guy who writes the Monk crossover, of all people.
11923284
I remember now, I actually did some research.
In the episode Twilight Time, at the Hay Burger restaurant they have horseshoe-shaped fries, and since hayfries already exist in other places (and serving them with hayburgers is kind of redundant) I decided to use potatoes.
11923660
lol
Hay urger? What's that?
I've always thought that the fried oat burgers from "Trade Ya" looked pretty good.
While it's obvious that hayburgers are made from hay, I like to think that hayshakes (common in stories, if not the show) and hayfries are just trademarked names, like McMuffin©️.
I love the scene in "Anthropology" where Lyra learns what's in a Big Mac.
11923738
Hay urger
Fixed.
And yeah, a former pony absolutely loving meat (before realizing what it is) is perfect comedy.
11923770
I just watched the first "Equestria Girls" movie. It's a shame they didn't show Twilight take a bite from her burger, and then react when Fluttershy told her what it was.
11923798
It's been about a year since I've seen it, and I've only seen it once, but of course that would have been a great scene.
11906903
I got a dislike.
That's actually kind of cool.
Honestly.
11926841
Yeah it means someone actually acknowledged your existence on the internet at least. That’s nice isn’t it? We all sort of wish we had it more 😂
11926872
But I've had more than enough recently.
Thanks to random user #263737, and definitely not you.
11927051
Gavin Degraw
11927151
Sunscreen
11927239
I haven’t put on sunscreen in like 15 years. Not even in Arizona in summer. My skin doesn’t burn easily at all for some reason lol
11927320
Based.
That's the only time I will ever say that word.
11927562
I’ve never said that word before lol. I don’t use a whole lot of random internet jargon but I know what most of it means. If I don’t then I just look it up on urban dictionary
11927588
I don't use it either, but I'm subject to it enough that it's influencing me a bit.
And lol isn't random internet jargon lol?!
11927714
Well fine yes but lol is probably the only one I commonly use. Because who doesn’t use lol occasionally LOL
11927719
LOL!
Kjostad Lake!!!!!!!!!!!:$:;$;&&380
11939232
It might be late tonight after you go to bed, but I’m gonna read this in bed before I go sleep late tonight. I’m watching a movie right now with my girlfriend. Hope you’re having a good night.
11939290
You as well.
11939531
Take your time. I was never exactly known to get things done quickly here as far as new chapters when I was a writer, which is why most of my stories were one shots lol. I just honestly never was that into creative writing so it it took months sometimes for me to update chapters in my few multi chapter fics and I never finished any of them and majority of my stories I just did for attention really as you know.
11939596
Thanks.
I do plan on writing more, but I really enjoy just reading and talking to others on here and Sev's Discord.
11939613
Fair enough. You don’t have to be a writer either. It seems you do enjoy to read and have a fair amount of friends already in your relatively short time here. As you I’m guessing you know by now already, a lot of people on this site only come here to read and don’t write at all.
11939673
Yeah. I definitely will write, and there's one specific thing I will write soon, but it's normally low on the priority list.
That’s great, I’m glad you’ll eventually write again. This wasn’t bad and I’d read whatever you write, but yeah make sure it’s when you actually want to, it’s a lot easier to do like that of course. There’s no rush it’s your life haha.
I’m guessing there’s few here like me though who aren’t even a brony and only come on to talk about mostly other things with one old friend and a random new group of online friends here lol. It really does remind me of the good old days here in that respect, I had a nice group of friends on here when I was most popular over a decade ago as a lot of people wanted to be my friend then, you wouldn’t believe how many offers I got from people wanting to be my proofreader/editor at the peak of my “popularity” like dozens in a period of weeks/months (I turned them all down, I never had a proofreader/editor for various reasons) but I haven’t spoken to any of those friends in years now except for one who’s still my friend and have met in person numerous times in California and have even gone on road trip adventures with him and another friend there that was briefly on here as well but don’t know as well and I’ve taken them on a number of road trip adventures all over California and Nevada from the San Francisco Bay Area believe it or or not in the last decade. But the first guy I’m talking about who I talk to on Facebook almost daily still hasn’t been involved at all with the fandom or been on this site in a decade but I’ve known him since 2012 as he was part of that group of friends. I like him for non pony reasons for a long time now these days. He’s the only person once on this site fairly briefly I value as much as real life friends from around then and ever since. You are unquestionably the best person I’ve met here since him though and that was almost 12 years ago and the best involved with the fandom currently or for the last decade.
Some of those people turned out to be pretty lame and only wanted to talk to me because I was “fimfic/pony famous” which is just the definition of frivolous I knew even then. But I also liked the attention at the time. Oh well, I don’t miss them.
Sev is the closest thing I guess you could say to having a “friend” from those days again now that’s still here but I didn’t know him that well despite what he might claim really, we never spoke regularly just kind of commented on each other’s success on the site really back then every now and then. Wiccanminnesota is my actual oldest (and really only friend until recently from like 2021 on) friend still here as you know dating back to early 2018 when I was still you know what, and he had nothing to do with my old friendgroup here. They were essentially gone by then.
Also sorry for that wall of text. Feel free to delete it on your own story here after you read it if you like. I definitely wouldn’t be offended.
11939699
Maybe I'll delete in the future.
Maybe.
But I don't know.
I don't mind it.
I always welcome anything you have to say.
(But I might prefer it if the comments section of my stories stay as clear as they can.
I don't mind if you comment on any future stories of mine, heck, I welcome your comments over those of anyone else.
I just don't want to have people confused with a dozen or so comments from the same person.
But like I've said in the past, blogs, pms, my userpage, all are free game for whatever.
Again, I am not complaining about what you just posted at all. It's always very enjoyable.
11939682
But I'd edit out that one part.
(You know what I mean)
11950470
Probably a good idea. Edited out.
Good extension, definitely fun!
11961114
Oi, you read this?
Thanks!
11961211
Yup, even left my little review
(See what I did there?)
11961242
Hold on a sec, didn't even see your other comment
11961111
You know what, that's probably my favorite review of this story so far.
I beat a piano!
I love action/adventure stuff too, but I've heard it easier to start out with slice of life when you haven't written anything yet.
I kinda just bashed it out in a day or two just to get a story out there, but do someday plan on improving on and expanding it a bit.
Glad you enjoyed it!
11961289
Well for a first time writer making something in just a day or two I’d say ya did good!
And if writing an action/adventure on your first go isn’t a good idea, I fear I just might have made an unwise decision…
which, y’ know, checks out :p
Also, I know your referring to the person ‘The Storyteller’ in the title but out of context, it looks like you are clarifying that the story was indeed written by the author.