Battle Against a Possessed Shining Armor
Both Shining Armors switched to their strongest spherical bubble barrier, after seeing what happened to the last clone, equally worried about what would happen if they were hit with the spell and sent to the Mirror Pool.
’One clone left!’, she thought.
“You don’t need to do this,” the sweaty stallion on her left nervously tried to convince her. “And I can keep my barrier up for a long time. Please just take off the cursed jewelry and ask Twilight or Cadence what to do before anybody else gets hurt? Please, Fury Heart?”
“Nocreature in Equestria would say ‘anybody’ instead of ‘anypony’ or ‘anycreature’, let alone my father. My mom’s called ’Cadance’. What the hell are you? And…”
“WHO IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?“
The impostor strengthened their barrier. He unconvincingly lied, “I meant to say Furry Heart! My tongue just slipped! Don’t get your hands dirty like this!”
Flurry Heart telekinetically took out the translucent, orange, V-shaped Rebel Shades out of her saddlebags, put them over her eyes, then started drawing on magic from the Alicorn Amulet to cast two spells, and her entire body was covered in a red magic glow. The first was a spell that Sky Piercer and her had used to dig out cave forts through her crystal backyard in the Crystal Empire. The second was the banishing spell. Combined, the spells formed a large, glowing, magic drill.
The annoying impostor stared at her and began a loud, creepy sounding laugh that sounded nothing like Shining Armor’s laugh, let alone anycreature’s laugh. “Zizizizizi!.“
She shoved the giant, red, brightly glowing, sharp magic drill into the clone’s spherical magic barrier. The drill made a lot of noise and wind, but it failed to scratch the bubble.
The Rebel Shades’ curse activated, boosting the power of the drill, and compelling the goth Princess Flurry Heart to give a long, dramatic, and optimistic speech to her opponent. “I’ll fight through curses, madness, tragedies, stupidity, evils, and indifference! Even if creatures like you think I’m laughably weak, useless, and helpless, or the situation seems hopeless! With my wits, friends, family, artifacts, horn, everything else I can get my hooves on, and this drill, I’ll beat the unbeatable and break the unbreakable! I’ll face problems, stupid creatures, monsters, and threats from Equestria and beyond! And I’ll continue being goth, even if impostors like you try to tell me what to do or wear!”
The Alicorn Amulet and Flurry Heart’s eyes glowed blindingly bright. The drill became brighter, faster, and noisier, and light cracks appeared in the abnormal clone’s shield.
The deceitful, villainously laughing, and possibly demonic clone of Shining Armor squinted and caught their breath. Their horn and the irises of their eyes started glowing red. They started casting another spell and yelled, “Wait, you emo, stop! I only make this weird laugh when I’m scared! Zizizizizi! And his memory transfer spell seriously messed up my head! I’m actually a human!“, before chanting a magic spell.
“I believe in Twilight and Sky Piercer, who believe in me! My drill is the drill that will pierce the heavens! If there’s a wall, I’ll break it down! If there’s no path, I’ll make one with my horn and hooves! I’ll never be Twilight or Cadance.”
Flurry Heart concluded her speech, magically compelled to make a cool pose.
“I’m not an emo. I’m Princess Flurry Heart, and this is how a goth works! GIGA DRILL BREAKER!”
Flurry Heart’s drill tripled in length, shattering the barrier of the red-eyed clone before it could ambush her, with a burst of shining light and debris. A puff of blue smoke returned to the Everfree forest, through the new hole in the wall.
The last Shining Armor continued nervously doing nothing in a protective magic bubble.
’Good. No more clones!’, Flurry thought in relief, looking at the last stallion. Flurry Heart’s stomach ravenously growled after the battle. She used her magic to lift and devour the rest of the pies. ’They’re good, but not nearly as good as corn,’ she thought, influenced by the cursed, emotion-suppressing “I Love Corn“ choker she’d put on this morning.
’Why is Flurry still glowing red, and floating and staring at me? Is she still angry?’, Shining Armor wondered.
“I love you, Flurry! Let’s get whatever you want to eat, to celebrate your birthday, getting your cutie mark, and you being you! I’ll borrow some bits from the guards!“
He continued, “And I’ll apologize to Rarity after we’re done celebrating!”
Flurry Heart stopped glowing, floated to the ground, then took off and returned the cursed accessories to her saddlebags, and said “Thanks, dad. I know you’re stupid, careless and annoying sometimes, but you try, and I still love you,” and approached her dad.
“I love you too,“ Shining Armor said, and took down his barrier.
Princess Flurry Heart brought her face next to the left side of the unicorn’s neck, and hugged him.
She let go, then ordered the Royal Guards outside, “Find the Mirror Pool! Put up giant warning signs that clones might replace you! And cover the entrance with the heaviest thing you can all bring there!“
After celebrating her birthday with her dad, she started writing a letter to Twilight.
Dear Princess Twilight,
Today I learned an important friendship lesson. Ponies can be impulsive, oblivious, and reckless, and make mistakes, but they can always learn from their mistakes and try to be better.
I had three other hypothetical magic questions:
- Are there any ways to erase a young pony’s cutie mark if they got the wrong one by mistake?
Seriously, a bucking milkshake?!- Do you know about any spells or items that would help a mare make better decisions, including cursed ones? Odin’s Eyepatch isn’t something I’d consider, unless it’s possible to stop wearing that artifact without permanently dying, or there’s a way to compensate for blindness in one eye with magic.
- Or any other ways?
Your niece,
Flurry Heart
P.S. I’ll respond to your last letter later.
P.P.S. Do you know a good therapist?
I’m worried I’ll grow up to be like my dad.P.P.P.S. By the way, have you sent dad a wedding invitation yet?
P.P.P.P.S. What exactly is a ’human’?
This is the last chapter of a dark, comedic story set around the end of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, in a universe where Shining Armor is a Terrible Dad of Princess Flurry Heart.
Shining Armor, Flurry Heart, and a few other characters have flaws including, but not limited to, impulsiveness, forgetfulness, obliviousness, stupidity, recklessness, selfishness, indifference, and poor communication skills.
A/N: This chapter contains references to Gurren Lagann, which is a show known for the main characters facing impossible odds, and rapid power escalation. It had many scenes along those lines, such as the below.
About hiding and ambushing:
- Finger Food (Pinkie Pie's clone) is fully aware that she's in danger, but is trying to save creatures and deescalate this, due to her what her Finger Food Sense told her. Her thoughts and motivations are deliberately left out of this story, which is written in a third-person limited perspective focusing on Flurry Heart, or on Shining Armor when Flurry Heart isn't around. A prequel is planned for explaining that.
- In this story's universe, Shining Armor and his clones thinks that stealthy archers are the best way to play Ogres and Oubliettes, among other things. In other universes, they're a safe way to play Skyrim.
- And Shining Armor taught his daughter to hide and ambush during a gun safety lesson, or something very similar.
- If Shining Armor's clones didn't inherit his flaws as a terrible dad, and actually hid or ambushed, this would probably be a very different story, and it would be much shorter or longer. The Dark Forest Hypothesis was the premise of books such as the "Three Body Problem" novel and trilogy.
- In Equestria, red glowing spells are usually evil, but not always.
EDIT: This now has a sequel, Pinkie Pie's Evil Clone Saves Equestria, showing Finger Food's perspective of the events in this story.
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So is the Human tag for everyone, or is it limited? I honestly can't tell every time it's used.
Just a single impostor possessed by a human. The rest of the characters are normal ponies.
I'll add an author note mentioning that.
This story was something alright, but I kinda liked it? There's problems but I think it'll get a good enough place on the contest!
11846128
Thanks!
Hopefully it'll get mentioned, but for the most part, I'd wanted to finish writing the ideas I'd had for this competition, and I believe this fiction was the only one with those ideas or concepts (etc.) so far.
I'd proofread this, and rewrote parts of it multiple times before publishing and after. There's definitely things I could expand on or rewrite, but I'm already at the 5k word limit after including scenes for all of the Shining Armor clones, cloning, and other scenes I'd wanted to keep.
I'm impressed by the other submissions. https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/1033811/the-shining-armor-is-a-terrible-dad-2024-competition
E.g. I loved https://www.fimfiction.net/story/552953/shining-armors-not-so-very-great-and-powerful-day and https://www.fimfiction.net/story/552147/a-makeover-for-algernon-why-all-my-hamsters-are-goths and https://www.fimfiction.net/story/552254/flurry-heart-sacks-rome , and haven't finished reading some of the other submissions.
I'm writing prequels from Finger Food's (Pinkie Pie's Clone's) perspective, to try a more serious writing style in the first person point of view, instead of the third person limited point of view used in this story.
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/217460/shining-armor-is-a-terrible-dad-2024-competition
One of those even follows the (joke about) "rules" and won't even feature Flurry Heart, Shining Armor, or Princess Cadance as characters.
11846128
Is there anything that you (or anyone else reading this comment) sees that's easy to fix before the Shining Armor is a Terrible Dad contest I'm submitting this to closes, if you still remember?
E.g. I fixed a few grammar issues, rewrote some parts, and I made it clearer that Shining Armor was a dad (in a sense) to those Mirror Pool clones.
I'm still happy with the story and hope that readers found some of the random comedy funny. But I'm aware of some major things that I can't change, though. This combined multiple writing ideas I had, where focusing on a single idea and a shorter story could have been better. I didn't need to have that quantity of Shining Armors being terrible dads for the contest's scoring, but I thought that the idea was hilarious. The characters are deliberately written as flawed because Shining Armor is a Terrible Dad in that setting. I couldn't add more descriptions of characters actions and thoughts, because of the 5k word limit. A much shorter story would have been better for the contest. And content referencing other works of fiction obviously doesn't have broad appeal because few readers would be familiar with the source material.