• Published 6th Sep 2023
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Derpy’s Muffin - Badguy400



Random short story I came up with just now

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The Muffin Of Epic Proportions

Author's Note:

To me, I’d say that Derpy sounds a bit edgy outside of the show, but yet still likes muffins, and that Doc is actually best friends with her, and that he’s British. Oh and also that he’s a scientist/inventor, etc, just like in the show.

So if this seems confusing, then I apologize.

Hope you enjoy regardless, and have a great day/night!

“Oh what to do what to do what to do… ? I’m so conflicted!” Derpy said to herself as she then hid her face into her hooves and lowered herself down.

Derpy is apparently doing what she’s always been doing for the last couple of weeks. Ordering a muffin, and then contemplating on whether to eat it, or keep it to admire. Oh how the cookie crumbles… . Or how the muffin mushes, or something… . Something muffin related probably… . Who knows?

“Uuugh! I can’t decide! Oh why did that pony had to make this muffin so good… ? I mean, sure it’s nothing special… . But then again it’s so good… . I just can’t decide… .” Derpy then began to whine a bit, and then went back to slouching because the muffin she ordered was so good. It was just too good to eat. In her opinion of course… .

Derpy continued like this for another half hour, before deciding; “ah forget this!” And then swiped the muffin into her grasp before continuing with, “I’ll decide at home! Maybe then I’ll be able to make up my mind… .” And with that, Derpy placed her muffin into her saddle bag, and then started to walk home with a face that is a mixture of determination, and grumpiness.


Inside Derpy’s home… .

“Phew! What a trip… !” Derpy said as she’s exhausted from walking home. Since after all it’s the summer. And the heat from outside was beating down on her… . So of course, she didn’t enjoy it.

Thinking back on her muffin, she then looked annoyed, and then said to herself; “aw forget this! I’ll just try again later on… ! It’s not like I got anything else planned for the day anyways… besides sleep… . Ugh this is so difficult!” And with that, she tossed her saddlebag to the sidewall by her front door, and then proceeded to crash down onto the couch before passing out to nap.

Few hours later… .

“Wow that was a good nap… . Hmmm… . I wonder what Dr Whooves is up to… ? He always seems to have some sort of invention built, or some idea planned… .” She then began to giggle before continuing with, “it’s a shame I can’t go and visit him though… . But then again it’s for my own safety… . Hehe… . Heh… that could’ve been bad… .” Derpy trailed off as she then began to remember the time that she was in Dr Whooves’ lab, and nearly brought down the whole lab just by pulling on one rope that was near the front door… . She then began to giggle more from the memory, and then moved on to make herself dinner.

Few minutes and a dirty dish pile later… .

“Uuugh! Why can’t I eat this muffin?!” Derpy said, sounding both angry and defeated at the same time.

Apparently, she’s at her dinner table, and that the muffin that she ordered is in front of her face; as her head’s lying down on the table. Reason why she’s acting like this is because… as before… she can’t get herself to eat it.

“Grrrrr!” Derpy growled as she’s getting more and more agitated. “Why oh why can’t I eat this muffin… ?!” Eventually though, she began to lose her cool. And snapped. “Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!”

Some crashes and whooshing later

“Oh… that’s a bad idea… .” Derpy said, laying down on the remains of her couch. “I should really control my anger more better next time… . If any pony founded out that I, Derpy Hooves, the most ‘special pony’ in all of Ponyville, lost her cool like this… I’d be in a LOT of trouble… .”

Eventually she sighs, curls up into a little ball, and then says to herself; “maybe tomorrow will be better… . Hopefully… .”


Dr Whooves is at the front door of Derpy’s house; contemplating as to whether to knock on the door, or just open it; as doors in Equestria aren’t usually locked… . Least not in Ponyville that is.

Reason why is because he hasn’t seen Derpy in a few days, and he’s gotten worried. Well sure he’s not one to worry so much… . But considering he saw Derpy buy a muffin again, he knew that she’ll be in one of her “moods”, and decided to let her have some alone time before visiting her. You know… for safety reasons.

Few minutes later… .

“That’s it, I’m coming in!” He thought to himself before Dr Whooves used his hoof to turn the knob to open the door.

“Derpy… ?! Are you feeling al- .” He cut himself off as he’s seeing the destruction before him… . And a little Derpy rocking back and fourth, having looked like she’s losing her mind… . And she is.

“Oh! Uh… h-hey doc… ! Hehe… w-what’re you doing here… ?” Derpy asked nervously; having seen her best friend at her doorstep.

After shutting the door behind him, Dr Whooves carefully navigated his way to Derpy, and sat down in front of her before facing her, and asking, “Derpy, sweetie… . What’s the matter?”

She sniffled, and then started to look at him with a slight sad expression, before replying with, “n-nothing doc… . I… I just lost control over my emotions again… . And I just kinda… .” Doc interrupted with, “broken everything in your home like a little tornado blew in here?” She blushed, then replied, “technically we pegasi call it a twister… . But yeah.”

Doc just chuckled at that, and then raises her up a bit before continuing with, “yeah hehe… I’m sure that it’s like that at times… hehe… .”

Derpy then snuggled up to her friend, and then sighs before asking, “do you think I’ll ever eat that muffin???”

Doc looks to be thinking a bit, but then replies with, “maybe not this week… but who knows?” Derpy then playfully slugs his arm; (or fore hoof), and then moves a bit to get comfortable before falling asleep. Doc just chuckled at that, and then starts falling asleep too; planning on sharing the muffin with his best pal in the morning… .

Next Morning… .

“So… Derpy… . Was it worth it?” Derpy looked to be thinking of something, before she just shrugged, chuckled, and then replied with; “you know the answer already bud… . It’s good! And I’m glad I’ve waited.” Doc just laughed, and so did she.

After that, Doc began to ask; “so what now???” Derpy looked to be thinking of something… before she looked at the bakery that had muffins on display, and then replied with, “wanna get a muffin?”

Knowing this’ll not end well, Doc asked; “you sure about that???” Derpy just shrugged, and asked; “ey? What’s the worst that can happen?” After that, both of them got up and went to get some muffins.

And once again, same thing happened to Derpy Hooves.

The end

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