TCB: Beneath My Skin

by Madrigal Baroque

The Face Inside Is Right Beneath My Skin

Trev was called to Conversion that very day, in the afternoon. There was no joy in him, only weary resignation as he entered the Conversion Room.

The doctor, Pastern by name, gave him a measuring look over the rims of her glasses. "Second thoughts?" she asked warily, pausing in her measurements of his dosage.

"No." He shucked off his clothes and sat on the table. "My father came to say goodbye. I tried to talk him into coming with me, but…"

Pastern nodded her understanding. "That's one of the hardest things about all this. But everyone has the right to choose. Even if we think it's the wrong choice."

"What if he's right?"

Pastern raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"My father is a Sikh, and very devout. He still has faith in God and the afterlife. What if…what if Celestia is wrong? Wrong about humans not having souls? What if…what if spirituality in this reality is a–is something Equestrian magic can't detect? Like…like color to someone who's blind?"

"What do you believe, Trev?"

He didn't have to think long. He'd thought about nothing else ever since his father left. "I believe this is it," he said quietly. "I haven't believed in God for a long time. I could never say it, but I think my father knew. I just wish I could have convinced him."

Pastern shook herself a bit and went back to her vials and cups. "He made his choice, Trev. Just like you made yours."

When she handed him the white paper cup, Trev downed its sparkling purple contents at a gulp.

Then he was in a field of soft, fragrant grass that stretched out as far as he could see on every side. The sun was warm and bright and at its zenith in a clear and faultless blue sky.

Trev stood up and looked around him. He could hear a distant rumbling, like low thunder, all around him. It made his heart quicken, not with fear, but with a wild anticipation. It made him want to move. To run.

So he ran. He ran faster than he ever imagined he could, powerful lungs breathing in the sweet air, the ground firm yet yielding beneath his feet.

He was surrounded by a vast crowd, a herd, of ghostly forms, of every color imaginable. Sturdy earth ponies, ethereal unicorns, fleet-footed pegasi. Trev ran with them, one with them, and they welcomed him with restless hooves and open hearts. He was a new member of the herd, but he was no stranger. He belonged. He was not merely accepted, but welcomed.

The herd came to a river, wide and deep, and without hesitation Trev plunged into its waters. The surface was sun-warmed, the depths cool and bracing. Trev swam across to the far bank and climbed out, shaking off droplets that gleamed in the sun like jewels. The herd was gone, but not the sense of belonging, of coming home. He carried that with him as he mounted the grassy slope.

A colorful tent stood in the meadow, crowned with a circular roof and draped with saree cotton in all the colors of the herd. Trev approached slowly, peering into the shadowed interior.

"Hello, Trevinder. I've been waiting for you." Reclining on one of the cushions was a vision of the purest beauty, softly radiant even within the sheltering shadows cast by the cotton tenting.

With a gasp, Trev fell at once to his knees. He spoke in a reverent whisper. "Your Highness…"

Celestia, Princess of the Sun and Ruler of Equestria, tossed her luminescent mane and laughed gently. "Oh, let's have none of that. Come, sit with me for a while."

Somehow Trev managed to get up and enter the tent, walking unsteadily across the woven straw matting and sinking down onto a plush cushion. "You are…" He swallowed. "You are so beautiful…"

Celestia smiled. "Why, thank you. Did you enjoy your swim?"

"It was amazing! All of this is amazing. Is this…is this Equestria?"

"It is, and it isn't."

Trev blinked, startled into candor. "Well, thanks for clearing that up."

She laughed again. "Oh, I like you, Trev! To answer you more concisely, this is a conception of Equestria. It's very like my realm, but seen through the lens of your dream. I wanted to welcome you personally to the herd."

"But why? What makes me so special?"

"You are special, Trev. Each and every one of my little ponies are special, and with so many new ponies soon to be arriving, it would take a very long time for me to visit each and every one personally. In the flesh, as it were. So I thought it would be best to visit you here, so that we can get to know each other without all the pomp and circumstance of a royal visit." Celestia rolled her brilliant eyes. "Formality can be so dreary, sometimes."

"A pony…?" Trev looked down at his hands, only to find that he didn't have hands. Hooves. "Holy crap, I'm a pony! When did this happen?"

"It's happening right now."

"What? Oh…the Conversion…" Trev looked around at the sweeping fields, the brilliant cottons of the tent, the gentle breeze, the soft undulations of Celestia's prismatic mane. "I'm dreaming, but it feels real."

"Reality is based on perception. It's highly suggestive, Trev. One pony's dream could well be another's reality." A brief shadow flickered behind the luminous eyes. "Well do I know how fragile reality can be." She shook her head dismissively, and smiled. "But if this is a dream, consider it the foretaste of your future in Equestria."

Trev chuckled. "You sound like my fath–" He broke off. A heavy black depression eclipsed his joy. "My…father."

"I'm sorry, Trev." And Celestia did look sorry. She gazed at him with deep compassion. "This is supposed to be a joyous occasion. I didn't mean to make you sad."

Trev looked back at her. "Your Highness–"

"Celestia."

"Celestia…what if my father is right?"

She tilted her head quizzically. "About what?"

"About his beliefs. About humans actually having souls that you can't detect. About there really being a God."

Celestia rose from her sky-hued cushion and lay down next to Trev. "I've been watching the Earth for a very long time, Trev, and there is no spark of spiritual vitality in your world. Had there been, the planet itself would have resisted its own destruction. Humanity would have been put into its proper place long ago, and there would have been no need of rescue."

"So…they are all going to die." Grief clutched at Trev's heart, wringing hot tears out of him. "I tried to make him understand…"

"Your father made his choice, Trevinder, and he loved you enough to accept yours, even if he believed it was wrong. Can you do any less for him?"

Trev wept like a child. He found himself enfolded in soft pearlescent wings. He threw his arms–no, his forelegs around the white neck and sobbed against her. He'd done so much weeping today, but this flood of tears brought a true release. His grief over losing his parents, his guilt over not being persuasive enough, his despair for all the people who would rather die than Convert…it all came pouring out of him, through his eyes, down his face, into the silken coat of his new monarch. At last the tears ceased, and he felt calm and, if not completely comforted, at least consoled into a kind of inner peace.

Celestia nuzzled him as if he were her own foal…which, in a sense, he was. "Be happy, my little pony. It's all I want for any of you."

"Fank…yu…" Trev found it hard to speak. His mouth felt strange. His eyes were closed. He couldn't feel Celestia beside him anymore, or smell the grass outside the tent. It was cold. He shivered a bit. His ears flicked.

Ears?

Oh right, I'm a pony now.

"Trev?"

"...suh…Celestia…?"

A startled laugh. "Not even close."

Trev opened his eyes and blinked. Dr. Pastern was leaning over him, grinning with pleasure. "Welcome back, Trev. How do you feel?"

"Kind of loopy…but good." He raised his head and looked around at the sterile confines of the Conversion Room. He couldn't help grinning back at the doctor. "Really good."

"I'm glad. Do you need to rest for a minute or would you like to try standing up?"

"Yeah–hang on–I think–" Trev took stock of his newly formed body. Four legs, covered in a butter-yellow coat. Shiny dark brown hooves. A strange sensation in the vicinity of his butt–he looked–a tail the color of melted chocolate. He swished it, thumped it against the floor, and chuckled. No, he giggled. He felt giddy. He flailed his legs, trying to figure out how to get up off his side. "Gah, I have too many legs!"

Pastern rocked back on her heels to avoid a hoof to the head. "Easy, Seabiscuit. Let's get you rolled onto your tummy first. Then you can sort out how to stand up." Her strong hands helped Trev right himself, and once he had his legs folded under him, standing up was a breeze.

He took a few cautious steps, chuckling (giggling!) at the sound of his hooves clopping on the tile. "This isn't so hard. I can do this."

"You're a natural, kid." Pastern patted his withers. "If you feel up to venturing out, I think somebody–somepony–would love to have a look at you."

She opened the door, and a lavender head poked in. "Trev? Are you–" Her sky-blue eyes went wide. "Trev? Is that you?"

"Well, it's not Chetak of the Maharajah Pratap." He stepped carefully forward, and Lilac rushed him, bowling him over. A standing rack of glass vials swayed dangerously and Pastern had to rush to steady it.

"I was so worried about you! I mean, I know things went really bad with your father and then you had to come in here and go through your conversion and I was so afraid you would change your mind and I'm so glad you didn't. I mean, after your–" Lilac stopped herself. "Oh, Trev, I'm sorry. Me and my big mouth. I shouldn't have brought it up–"

"It's okay, Lilac." And it really was. He would always miss his parents, and he would always be sad that they didn't come to Equestria with him…but Celestia was right. His father had let Trev make his choice. He loved his father well enough to let him choose his own path. He nuzzled Lilac to comfort her. "It's really okay."

"Scoot, you two." Dr. Pastern finished righting the jumbled vials in the rack. "Before you wreck my lab."

Lilac walked with Trev to the cafeteria. It wasn't quite dinnertime yet, but he wanted to show off his new pony self to a familiar crowd. He was surrounded by well-wishers and admirers who couldn't resist petting his silken neck and stroking his rich chestnut mane. Suggestions for a new name, a pony name, came from all sides.

"Buttercup?"

"Dandelion?"

"Cream Corn? No, sorry, that's lame…"

"Sunflower. He definitely looks like a Sunflower."

"Cornbread! He's the right color."

"Hey, Trev!" came a call from the counter. Trev excused himself and went over. "Yes, Ms. Hershaw?"

"I just warmed this up for you." Hershaw set a saucer in front of him bearing one of his morning's creations. "It's the last of the batch you made this morning. I had to fight to protect it–people snapped them up like Equestrian apples–but they say things taste different, better, when you Convert. I don't see how this could get any better, but I was wondering if you'd try it out for me."

Trev breathed in deep. The scents were familiar, but richer, more complex, than he'd ever noticed as a human. Even if he hadn't made this particular treat, he could have identified every one of its ingredients by scent alone. Flour, baking powder, unsalted butter, eggs, buttermilk, a hint of vanilla…and chocolate.

He took a bite and chewed slowly, savoring the blending of flavors that perfectly complemented each other. He swallowed, then turned back to the small crowd.

"I have a name," he said, with a wink at Lilac. "Call me Chocolate Chip Muffin."

The End

Author's Note:

The question remains...is Celestia mistaken? Is there a type of inherent "magic" that is incompatible with the thaumatic energy of Equestria? Is that why, of all creatures on the planet, only the highest of primates are denied access through the Barrier? Because their alien spiritual energy denies them access?

Frankly, I don't know. And I'm not going to argue with Celestia. I don't think it would end well.

Again,my heartfelt thanks and a tip o' the crimson quill to my heartsib Chatoyance for allowing me to use her characters in cameos.

Comments

[AgentKorpsman]

Celestia rose from her sky-hued cushion and lay down next to Trev. "I've been watching the Earth for a very long time, Trev, and there is no spark of spiritual vitality in your world. Had there been, the planet itself would have resisted its own destruction. Humanity would have been put into its proper place long ago, and there would have been no need of rescue."

Okay since you won’t I will, look celestia you may have a point but here’s the thing if that is so true that it doesn’t than tell me, what about Chernobyl, huh? Because that place was once a forest before it became a nuclear power plant and town, but after the accident than what happen, oh yeah the forest and nature came back growing over everything trees sprouting where there were no trees before green and animals coming back to reclaim what was once there so tell me what do you call that hmm because it seem to me like it did resist it own destruction and took back over.

And celestia that is not true we may not have the same souls as ponies or whatever but we are also intelligent beings with feelings and all, sure we done some pretty mess up things but we move pass that and made sure to never let it happen again. Just because the planet didn’t do anything to harm its own life forms, although it tried to and some of its own life forms did try and successful in doing so, we persevered, we didn’t let all the bad consume us all, sometimes we do things that we have no other choice to do or have to do it to survive in situations that I doubt few or any could in your ponies could do so without being able to at least have that spirit/behavior in them?

And celestia it’s not waiting for it to save itself and it’s lifeforms, it’s waiting for those to make the right choices in life to make a chance for the better.

[Madrigal Baroque]

11603001
The key word is benevolent.

Also, Celestia is as benevolent as circumstances allow her to be. She is also extremely binary in her thinking. Everything is yes or no--there is little room for maybes in her reasoning.

That's what Luna is for.

[Madrigal Baroque]

11603014
Trev is desperately trying to save his parents. And of course the less pleasant aspects of Equestria wouldn't be included in the travel brochure.

[Madrigal Baroque]

11603025
Celestia is telling the truth as she knows it. Because the thaumatic energy, the magic, that permeates Equestria and all other known planes of existence is totally absent in the universe occupied by Earth, it is only logical to conclude that Earth is a world devoid of magic. No magic means no spiritual essence, which means no souls.

Acharjeet proposes that there is a spiritual essence that is so alien to the denizens of Equestria that they cannot detect it at all.

Radio waves exist, but without a radio you can't hear them even though they fill the air around us. You can't pick up an FM station on an AM radio, and vice versa.

So maybe Equestria runs on FM and maybe Earth runs on AM. Maybe the dissonant frequencies are completely incompatible.

I am not trying to rewrite my sister's work in any way; she has built a phenomenal alternate world and is gracious enough to let me play in it. I'm just proposing maybes and could-bes here.

[AgentKorpsman]

11603128
Wait a sec, your sister is the one or related to the one who originally wrote the first fic in this?

Dam my friend.

And that’s true, but I do wonder if maybe discord can perhaps detect it, since he has chaos magic and the same for the evergreen forest maybe discord can possibly detect it since it might seem a bit different to chaos magic but still similar enough to recognize it?

[Chatoyance]

"Easy, Seabiscuit." - Oh, that is SO Pastern! Well done!

Thank you for writing this story - I have already placed it in the TCB group. Nicely done, and well done with the issues in play.

Full disclosure: I wrote my own Bureau stories from the point of Absolute Raging Atheist because it fit the needs of the narrative. It is ideal to have Mundus be a cosmos utterly devoid of magic or souls because that creates the maximum contrast between Equestria and Earth's universe. It maximizes dramatic tension and produces clear stakes. It also adds to my hard-SF take on things.

But, that said, personally, I would have to say that I am more of an agnostic with some mystical leanings because I Have Seen Shit that I cannot explain. It would be easy to brush it off as brain lies and brain fictions, except that in most cases I was not alone, and the people I was with experienced it too. That could be Folie à deux, of course, and I keep that in mind. Still, I cannot entirely exclude the possibility that There Is More - even if I have no clue what that More is, represents, or how it functions.

I have some questions, but no answers. Which is, I think, for the best - answers tend to narrow the mind on such issues.