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RubyDubious

RubyDubious #1 · May 19th, 2023 · · ·

I really loved this fic for a number of reasons, and most of them relate to the stylistic choices you made to tell Vesper's story. While I see a great many things in this work, the thing I see most of all is promise and potential! Don't stop writing, you've definitely got a passion, a spark, and a natural talent that will prove more valuable the more you exercise them!

So as to those aforementioned choices I so admire: Some would criticize you for having this story feel a little 'zoomed-out' as it were. They would say that it feels like there was little connecting each event to each other, and that the story suffers from the lack of room to breathe, but I would counter back and say that this story doesn't desire to tell itself in that way. What I mean is, this doesn't feel like a story where we're over the main character's shoulder, though we do see a lot of that with Vesper, but rather, this is a story that feels like folklore within the world itself. The story of Vesper Moon feels more like something you'd hear at a bar than something we would experience directly from Vesper exploring. Again, this work accomplishes both, but it definitely leans more towards an in-universe story and I think that is to the work's strength!

DCpnoy