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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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1: Princess is spelled with 2 s's
2:
should use "Once the radiation dissapates".
3:
should have a comma and "as" before the "I"
4: (From the above) Thighs? Do you mean things?
5:
should have a comma before "are" and not after "ready"
6: There should also be a question mark at the end of the sentence.
7:
Don't shouldn't be capitalized.
8:
should also have a question mark.
9:
should have a comma (,) before the second "and".
10:
Empress should be capitalized.
11:
should also have a comma before the "you".
12:
seaquants? huh? Did you mean sequence? How did you spell it right the first time?
13: "Fully" (from the above quote) shouldn't be capitalized.
14:
shouldn't have a comma
15:
Capitalize Fluttershy
16: Either capitalize Megaspells or put a space in between Mega spells.
17: Add a comma before the first "and".
18: "Something
aSHE couldn't let slip away"19, 20, 21, 22, 23:
This has potential. I've wondered about a Fallout Equestria that has stuff from later series, but you need to be able to tell the story without grammatical errors. I use Grammarly, but you also need a keen eye to spot stuff the A.I. won't see.
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1
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(I'm not doing that for every one. Just understand)
6:
Either use "The skill" or "My skills".
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(My early? Your vs you're)
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The wither heart is cute, but too in detail here. Later on, have a nightmare sequence of Flurry remembering her time spent suffering the disease, and its effects.
So the character is male or female or other? I'm so confused
11554331
Female
Awesome cant wait for more